As a filly Celestia was not destined for great things. She was a slow learner and mischevious. Her younger sister Luna however, she was destined to rule and one day become a god. The traditional offering of one Allicorn foal to the Star of Stars was about to happen. When Celestia is put in Luna's place by mistake the star takes Celestia on a journey to godhood. Now hundreds of years have passed. The Alicorns are gone and there are no suitable offerings to give to the star. Celestia must choose from her subjects which pony is to be given to the star and take the place of their benevolent ruler.
Chapters (10)
Not a good start having a spelling error in the description, But, I'll give it a shot when I get back from school
EDIT:
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SWEET JESUS FUCK SON, IT'S THE FUCKING GREAT WALL OF TEXT
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Just so you know, that is a bad thing, try separating it a bit
Other than that, it felt a bit rushed to me, but nothing much to fret about.
MORE MORE MORE.
Not a bad story. Could use a little more detail in some areas, but otherwise not too bad. Careful about the layout though - great walls of text are an eyesore to read.
"Outside the box. Inside the rock."
This is a good story that has lost a lot of potential readers etc for two simple reasons. One, you owe it to yourself to space out the first chapter like you did the other chapters. Two, change allicorn to alicorn. Seriously this should be 30/2 not 11/3.
I had initial doubts but each chapter gets better and better. Please keep up the good work
I like your Celestia who is soooo very much like Twilight they could be reincarnations of each other.
Thank you!
1756261
Each chapter just becomes more interesting keep up the great work.
There were some issues with grammar, occasional spelling, and all that, so I would recommend getting a proofreader. But other than that, this is an extremely interesting take on Celestia's origin. I can't wait to see what happens next.
What does Ferrus have against Celestia? It shouldn't matter to him which of his daughters is chosen.
Well, that escalated quickly.
Way to come down to his level, Celest.
Ouch -- Celly how could you do it? We do not become great by making others small.
Parents have a singular power over their children that no other person will ever have.
There is nothing a child want more than her parents approval. Celestia's father? well ...
Celestia's father attacked her at her weakest point ... her heart and for a little while it broke her...
Oops -- you made a boy and girl unicorn, pegasus, and earth pony but two girl alicorns. So much for a little bit of everything ponies.
2346955
Had to have Luna back and the other one was a cute little 'accident' nothing against Cadence but this is best how I can describe she appeared.
I appreciate a good origin of the Alicorns story. this one appears to be well thought out.
Finally a Celestia that isn't perfect....
Love this story
This was OK. I didnt like how luna was only secondary... It made her seem second to celestia.