She is the last. All her kin are gone. They'd either been blown apart by the Friendship spell so many ages ago or, in the case of her sister, changed their diet from hate to love. Cryoxia is the last of the windigos, but she is determined to be different, to never go back to those days ever again.
She'll make friendship from hate. She'll adopt an alicorn foal as her sister. She'll take physical form and learn how to move the celestial orbs with her mind. Celestial... has a nice ring to it. And she'll ally with the other nations in the world, establish friendship and preach harmony, no matter how they may diminish her food source. She'll make a world so wonderful that it will starve her to death.
Or die trying.
[/hr]
For antiquity, featured 10/9/14, 10/13/14 -10/16/14
Okay. Wow. This looks interesting.
Huh. Changelings descended from Windigo, eh? Do they share a common ancestor with Discord as well?
Well, I can't deny I look forward to you taking up Supersymmetry again, but this looks interesting, too.
Interesting. Got nothing in particular to say (maybe a complaint on your interpretation of Emotion based magic, but that ain't that important), except this would have made some interesting changes to the goings on when Luna went NMM.
Props for the original idea! Middling execution, the beginning didn't have a "proper" hook, but the summary had me intrigued enough to give it a shot. Twilights reaction was cliche, but that's plenty forgivable at this stage.
Overall, good story, have an up vote and a fave to see how this goes
Incredible Europa! Upvote and faved!
Your use of Medieval English is incorrect, and I know because I tried to use the exact same setup in a story before a prereader corrected me. You can see their comment here--it applies to your story as much as it did to mine.
"Thou" is used for equals and "you" is used for groups or as a term of reverence. Having Celestia and Luna use different terms to refer to each other creates a very lopsided power dynamic.
Luckily, this is an easy fix thanks to Ctrl + R -- you can easily replace Luna's "thees" and such with "you". If you are really committed to portraying her as resistant to change then you can use other things to make her speech seem more archaic, like removing contractions or using longer sentence structures.
Spl
Awkward construction
Comma splice. I know this paragraph is supposed to come off as very frantic and rushed, but this particular part just feels like it throws off the rhythm instead of adding to the mood.
There's a few similar situations during the opening section--it feels like you are trying to cram sentences together to create a mood but it just ends up feeling rushed.
You do not use dashes correctly--hyphens (-) are for combining words, em dashes (—) are for cutoffs and interruptions. This is another easy fix thanks to Ctrl + R, and Wikipedia has a more thorough explanation of the differences.
The casual use of teleportation is not really a big deal in and of itself, but it is extremely inconsistent. How does Celestia have the spare magic to teleport a book if she is starving? Why does she run to the library instead of teleporting there? Mundane Utility is a valid way to portray magic, but you portray it inconsistently.
Another logical misstep; if Chrysalis proved that windigos could feed on love instead, why does Celestia still feed on hate? This might be a later plot point, but it seems counter-intuitive when she has so much guilt over feeding on her subjects.
Technical issues aside, this wasn't bad. The foreshadowing about Twilight was a little blunt, and I agree with 5108350 that parts were a bit cliche (like Celestia being sisters with Chrysalis), but the spin is unique enough that I'm interested to see where this goes. And if it is only a few chapters long, then that means it hopefully won't have a meandering, excessive conflict like a lot of "Celestia is not what she seems" stories.
I'll refrain from voting until it's done, but a better start than I expected
This seems interesting. I'm gonna read it and track it.
5109477 The problem is that Celestia isn't using medieval english, she's using modern english. Luna on the other hand is using medieval english, and is referring to Celestia as an equal. So this isn't a lopsided power dynamic, it's a case of one pony not living through 1000 years of grammar changes.
5109752 Except that this takes place after Twilight has become an alicorn, and the show clearly shows that Luna has learned how to talk normally. So that means that she is intentionally speaking old English with Celestia and intentionally using dominant pronoun forms even though she knows better.
You can argue artistic license of course, but the way the author has set it up makes it look like Luna is intentionally talking down to her sister.
5109765 Its's easier to assume that just Luna is intentionally using old grammar than it is to assume that both are. The very fact that Celestia doesn't use "thee" or "thou" supports this since a lot of people don't realize that you can use "you" in the singular as a show of respect. I certainly didnt before this
.
As for Luna's cannon speech patterns, it's cuter when she uses thee and thou, which is why nearly every Luna fic insists that she still does cannon or no
5109818 I was assuming Luna was using old grammar and Celestia wasn't--that is the entire problem. It doesn't make her look cute, just insecure and dense.
5109844 I think it's a cute quirk, so matter of opinion on that I suppose.
But then why try and fix Celestia's grammar instead of Luna's? Who as you point out speaks normally according to cannon.
5109868 I think you have severely misinterpreted my post. I edited my initial comment to make it clearer.
Definitely an interesting concept, beyond anything else. Well written, as well, so good on you.
Hmm. Interesting. I shall fave this, and see where it goes.
Nice! Upvote and fave!
This is clearly an interesting premise; though, would Twilight freakout and run or freakout and attack? Is this before or after Tirek?
I always thought Io was pretty cool.
5111966 Io?
What is it with you and writing perfection?
5112061 Io is the innermost moon of Jupiter.
5112300 Ah, thought you were talking about the story, which made me go 'Io? I didn't include Io anywhere."
5112342 I wasn't the guy who gave the first comment about Io. I just wanted to clarify things. I sometimes act as exposition for stories I'm not involved in.
5112437 Oh.
Oops.
Not bad. I've seen plenty of Changeling! Celestia fics, but not a windigo Celestia. Interesting concept, and good cliffhanger.
5112061
Just something I tossed it since I have read a couple comments about how you are the best moon. But I like Io, little bit more exciting than geysers.
Okay. If Chrysalis was able to go from Windigo to Changeling, why is Celestia stuck as a Windigo?
If she learned how to live on love too, she could have a 12 course banquet just by walking through Canterlot.
I DEMAND MOAR
5115934 Maybe the side effects of feeding on love are worse for the victims? And with love all around she'd be constantly tempted.
This blew my mind. Fave'd!
*Sees short description*
Hmm. Interesting.
*clicks through, reads long description*
I believe this sums up my reaction:
To the read later list with you.
5117810 RUN CYBER PONY, CALL THE DOCTOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!! speaking of the doctor
Well, this is the first time I've seen somebody else make a windigo OC, and based on the description, I like it already. I have yet to actually read you story, but I plan to, I truly do.
Now, my OC, Ice Heart, (Call me unoriginal) is half windigo. The reason why I did this is so that he may be as old as Equestria, have to eat as other, and he can draw power from his own hatred. I remember during the hearthswarming eve episode, they only said that they grow stronger with the more hate from ponies (Or something around those lines), not that it's what they eat. The downsides to Ice Heart himself is that he hates himself for what he is, knowing that how much magic is in his being, and the source of the power of it, he thinks that if he does not hate himself, the magic will reject him and he thinks he will die, or at least loose his powers over ice in the way he does. But on the other side, he has had friends in the past, but they didn't love him the same way he hated himself and thought that it was good to keep himself away in the frozen north, farther than the crystal empire.
Sorry if reading this was a waste of time.
I just want to know if you want to know more. If so, please find me on Deviantart (My username there is numbersevin) or on tumblr (askiceheartpony)
5119984 Oh is it an OC?
This is relevant to absolutely nothing, but the cover art is 36 Crazyfists album cover A Snow Capped Romance. Just thought I'd point that out.
5117810 NO I DEMAND MOAR!
Awww, I'm hoping for a relatively happy ending but that Sad tag doesn't inspire confidence...
Anyways, can't wait for the next chapter.
Hmmm, this should prove interesting.
Though could they feed on something lesser then hate, like intolerance (Man considering half of equestria that'd feel Someone)
Awesome second chapter, you said it was only going to be 3-4 chapters has that changed? *curious*
5119998 Yes, I think. I've had this character for at least a year. The concept had no outside help, neither has his backstory.
However, I did have lots of help deciding the name. The design of him was all mine, save for the fact that hasbro is the fact I thought of this character.
So, during the Hearth's Warming episode, was it Celestia doing the screeching outside the window? And I'm curious; does Discord know? He seems the sort that it'd hard to hide things from.
And it'll be interesting to see if Chrysie is willing to share her process(and at what cost) and if Celestia is even capable of the change. So many questions!
Will we now see an invasion of Changeling Love Facilitators?
Is Twilight Sparkle going to create a being that exists solely to hate, or just round up and imprison a bunch of Diamond Dogs/Griffons/whatever to make a Hate Buffet? Or possibly some sort of cake made of pure hatred?
Is a Windigo the ultimate living weapon in war, turning soldiers upon each other even as she freezes them?
Would the high security ward of a psychiatric hospital provide nummies for our favorite hate eating cake demon?
Can they resurrect Sombra and stick a straw in him, like some sort of evil juice box?
And are the Windigos related to the Sirens? They have similar MOs and all.
5120020 Oh no, I mean is mine an OC windigo?
5120017 That has not changed, next chapter is the last one, then it's back to Supersymmetry.
5120078 Oh. Well, I was assuming that they were. I'm sorry if I was wrong.
Changeling HIVE.
This is a very interesting take on 'Celestia not being a pony.' I'm eager to find out how this ends, so please keep it up.
Hmmmmm... Why does Celestia have the Changeling Hive's address?
I really do like this story. I haven't seen the concept before, and it's well written.
Only now, I want to find one of those typical HiE changeling stories where the human is a perfect source of love, and reverse it to a windigo where the human is a perfect source of hate.
Well now, this is quite a concept. And as I've already Favourited your other two stories, why not this one as well?
Why tell Blueblood?
He's liable to tell everyone about her secret or think it's his secret to tell or use it as dirt on Celestia all in all it's a bad idea.
5120173 cause she does.
5120348 Depends on your headcanon of Blueblood. And besides, do you really think Blueblood would risk getting his aunt, the immortal princess of the sun who - as he learns in that scenario - is a member of the species that eats hate and nearly wiped his species off the planet. Do you think he'd risk getting on her bad side?