Twilight Sparkle is on a mission to collect all one-hundred and fifty cards in the "Creatures of the Everfree" series. Finally, after many weeks of collecting, she finds herself one card away from reaching her goal. Will she succeed?
[A/N] Yet another random as hell story based on my own experience. This time, it goes back to when I collected Pokemon cards and how I finally collected the first 150 and why I gave up on the cards after that.
Also, this is slightly in the style of how I'd imagine an episode to go (at least that's what I hope to have accomplished). Anyway, let me know what you think and if you have any advice. I hope you enjoy.
Cover Image by Thorinair on DA: http://thorinair.deviantart.com/
Chapters (1)
1539926
1539941 I was a kid in the 90's. I know ALL TOO WELL the manic behavior that is shown in this fic. Kids nowadays have NO idea how popular Pokemon was back then. It was INSANE!
1539959
The whole "you only collected the first generation" actually happened to me. In fact, the whole attitude of Twilight working hard to get all 150 cards only to realize another generation was released is based on my experience with Pokemon. It was truly a sad day for me
1539973 Remember the number one sought after card? Charizard. Oh... The horror...
1539981
I actually think I might have the holographic Charizard card that's supposedly worth thousands now. At least that's what I heard its worth.
1540009
Hey, I like it! Nicely written, good pacing, I love the humor.
There are a few things I noticed. My guess is that you put this up with minimal editing, because these are things I don't see in your other stories. Especially in the first third or so of the story there are a LOT of hyphens used, many in places where a comma would work just as well. Most of these hypens are missing a space after them, so it looks like hypenated words rather than a pause. Since you're writing in a third-person omniscient voice, there are places where you could simply use parentheses as well: "...Rainbow Dash and her manticore were (as usual) victorious." I also saw some places in the early paragraphs where punctuation was outside of quotation marks, whereas later on it was inside the quotes.
Some grammar errors, mostly missing or slightly misused words: "The Lilac Unicorn..." ends up as a run-on sentence, easy to fix. At the end of "Twilight pushed her friend's hoof..." the word "cards" is missing.
I noticed more before I got caught up in the story, but it's all basic stuff that I find after I set my own stuff aside for an entire day or so and then go back and re-read and edit it, so I figure you'd catch it anyway. There were noticeably fewer errors towards the end, but I also noticed the style changed a bit in the barn scene- more dialogue and less descriptiveness, like you were trying to get it wrapped up because the idea had started to run away from you.
I really like the tone, it's lighthearted and I think close to what an episode would be. There's a bit more edginess to it, but that's a good thing. All in all, excellent!
Oh god, the Plastic Hands...
1540086
Thanks. Yeah I'll work on it tonight and submit it tomorrow around noon probably (I don't have any classes tomorrow so I can work on it a bit more tonight)
Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the critiques
1540098
Cool beans! Let's see if we can get you up there with TWO stories in the Feature Box!
I loved this! Not only was it hilarious, but it also had a show-style ending and was easy to relate to. To me, at least. I had a similar experience, except it wasn't with cards, it was with a book series. I saw one thing you might want to fix, though.
Should be "she-like Applejack-saw it as" or "she, like Applejack, saw it as". Great story, though!
1540145
First let me see how well it's received when I submit it
Anyway, I think I'm basically done with the editing. If you get a chance, let me know if you think it's an overall improvement. Thanks again for the help
I actually just read this because it was in every other group I joined. And ... I liked it.
Hilarious. This relates a LOT to my childhood...
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Glad to hear you liked it. And, thanks again for the watch
1548517
Same. This was me with Pokemon cards (I got into it late, finally felt accomplished after collecting all 150 and...yeah I found out what Twilight did and my happiness dissipated
)
I. LOVE. IT.
Nice man. Loved it.
Keep on cranking out these awesome stories. 
1548535
Thanks, happy to hear
1548541
I'll try. Sort of busy in the coming days (got to give a speech in Public Speaking for Wednesday), but I started another one so hopefully I can get it up soon.
1548530
I actually collected
drugsWebkinz™, and I stockpiled tons. Then I forgot my password to the website and gave up on the collection. I have really bad memory...1542997
Shoot, I missed this earlier! Yeah, looks better, and I like the bit you put at the top, nice hook!
1548549 Haha dude... how do you find the time to do all of these stories. It takes me a month to write a one-shot... (mostly because I'm lazy though
, albeit it does usually get featured lol). And you make it awesome every time too... I mean I'm thrilled. I get something new from you like once every other day. Like I said, people get stuff from me like once a month... I'm bad to my followers lol. You're a great role model.
Keep up the awesome work.
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Thanks
1548565
I shall try lol. I started my little Nightmare Night Chronicles fic and I'll focus on that next.
Hopefully this story will get a few more viewers than it has now, though.
But if not, oh well
I can totally relate. Smartphones, smartphones everywhere. How in the flying fuck am I supposed to talk to my friends who are more obsessed with their app on their iPhones when I don't have one?
1548601
I understand. When I have my smartphone and internet access, all of my focus goes there. I can imagine how frustrating it is for you...even if I am part of that problem
1548579 I hope so too, this is pretty much as awesome as your massively popular The Rainbow-Dash Incident, which is definitely now one of my all-time favorites. So yes, I hope this gets more views as well... it's unfortunate it came up so late.
And I look forward to the Nightmare Night fic... sounds awesome.
Good luck to you on your writing, your speech, and the Giants man! I really don't like the Steelers... so I'm really rootin' for your Giants to make quick work of them.
1548612
Thanks for the words of encouragement.
And yes, I hope my G-men make mince-meat of Ben Rapethlisberger..er...I mean Roethlisberer.
And good luck to your Colts against the 'Fins this week.
I wonder if My Little Human cards can be used to battle?
"I'll play my Mayor Bloomberg card against your Bill Gates, and tap the Soda card to double his attack power..."
Thankfully I was never caught up in Pokemon mania.
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And now you know the pain those of us who collected went through (or at least me
)
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1551220
T be fiar it was because my parents thought i didn't need them, but still. On the other hand i have own at least one game out of every set to come out since silver and gold came out.
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Yeah, I haven't been into Pokemon in a while. Every now and then I'll be tempted, though since its popularity has had a resurgence in the past few years.
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Odd little factoid. my copy of silver finally stopped working 6 months ago, but our Yellow is going strong.
I never was into the Anime. I did watch it, but not enough to really enjoy it.
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I have a friend who thinks the same way. She loves the games but said she wasn't really into the anime. It's more of a nostalgic thing, I think. But the games will live on forever...as long as the company continues to rake in the $$$$$
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Personally i think Nintendo has just about rode that Gravy Train to the end. After all they just released the first Numbered Pokemon Sequel.
1551365
Yeah I don't think they need to worry about money much at this point.
I always preferred the games too.
In fact, I'm playing through HeartGold again.
Waitaminute, where's the equivalent of Mew?
reminds me of the time a jerk at school decided to finish me off with a level eater...
i felt more humiliated than rainbow durring episode 16
I was also a Pokémon kid, so this story awakes a lot of good memories in me.
It also reminds me of a time I wanted to create my own card game about insects (I've always been a geek of insects). If you allow me to boast a little, it was pretty good
But then I had to format my computer, and I lost it.
A very entertaining story, as always
1771348
That sucks man. Maybe you could try to pick up that idea again. There are so many card games but none that I can think of dealing with insects. See what you can do with it, if you still have the desire to make them.
Also, I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
1771432 I could try to recreate it one of these days. I still remember the rules.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna do it. For the old times
Cool story, bro. Reminds me of the good days. I can't say the good ole days, as i still currently collect and play cards.
2192909
Understood
This one struck me as a reasonable season-one style story. It did't fill me with happy-fuzzies, though the bit with Lyra was a ton of fun, and I can relate to Twilight feeling left out.
The amount of money that I put into magic, yugioh, and pokemon. I think I learned my lesson, and then I do it again. I think that it is worse than a gambling problem.
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I know that feel. But with me I collected Pokemon cards, and then moved onto other obsessions like soccer jerseys, mini football helmets, small flags of various countries , toy cars (this one lasted the longest).
Also I just went to Hot Topic the other day to buy my dad two Big Bang Theory shirts for his birthday and saw some collectible buttons and, of course, there were pony ones.
Needless to say, I think I've found my next obsession.
It's like a ride that never ends, it just has different routes.
I know the feeling... but instead of cards its pony brushables. I still have like 50 to go! :)
Well I’ve never been into card games, the story was a fun read regardless.
Erm, Doctor... Doctor? Oi, Whooves! I think the Clock Roaches are causing trouble again, time's getting messed up and...
Yes, I know you don't have the Clock Roach card yet, but we've got rather more important things to...
No, this can't wait another few packs, we need to...
Is that the experimental Biological Artistic Detainer? The one that should turn living creatures into images but has so far only caused them to...?
Oh, this can only end so well.