I love you so much. I hate to admit it, but no pony in the world matters to me more than you. But it has to end. I have to stop you. No matter what.
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Wow. Just wow.
Dropped the fucking bomb, my good sir. That last poetic bit in verse? Masterwork. Keep it up.
New chapter = rewind time for context of previous cliffhanger, rewind further to set up this week's one, then return to present and advance maybe a minute in time.
The Daytime Soap style.
Because Linear time is for chumps.
i.imgur.com/D0680lg.gif
"Bloody inspirational that chap was."
"Too bad stairs was his downfall."
Good chapter. However third person is definitely your strong suit in comparison to your first person writing. The change in styles though varied things a bit so I can say that it was appreciated.
nice poem.
Wow, Manure just got real! Diamond is going to go all Psycho on Rarity.
I kind of agree with MrAppleoxe, I found your third person stuff better than your first person stuff. However that's just a comparison, your first person stuff is still better than anything I could write.
Looking forwards to the final three chapters.
Wow, this is still going. I got about 9 chapters to catch up on. Well, glad I can read it all in one go.
And all throughout this chapter, no one seemed to care that Triage was hiding under a table in the midst of a RariSpoon moment. Not even Triage.
I'm crying right now. This is absolutely... just... those feels.
So everything is finally reaching its end game. It's amazing to see what you have made of this story. This isn't just clop. It's art. It's a moral study. It's all the feelings and outlooks by each character. It's so amazing, so realistic, and so beautiful. This is easily one of the best stories I have ever read, clop or not, and it is the embodiment of art.
I finall understand what the main theme of this story is...
I'm going to analyse more in depth once it is finished.
Which will be a depressing day.
On this fearful day, in this raging night
Four foals hold strong, to end their plight
Though things seem dark
Hearts filled with fright
Never give up, our hope burns bright!
Dear lord i just cant wait for more!!!
Commence read.
Save her? That's going to take some work...
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I've never watched a daytime soap so I'll have to take your word on it. This is a valid critique, though. Sometimes my plots tend to meander quite a bit, and the main thread gets lost in a bunch of flashbacks and other detours. If I'm honest with myself, this story could have probably been four or five chapters shorter if I'd done a better job of curtailing that habit.
I'm not sure if that's the case in this chapter, though (it is, by design, almost completely about small character moments as opposed to big plot moments, which you'll be seeing plenty of in the coming weeks) but upon re-reading it, I can see how it might be unsatisfying if you're looking for more big twists like the ones we've had in the last few chapters.
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Now this is interesting, because I've heard the exact opposite opinion from other readers. It might depend on which character I'm writing (Rarity seems to work a lot better in first person than, say, Fancypants) but clearly the takeaway from this phenomenon is that I do okay with both styles, but have lots of room to improve.
Challenge accepted.
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Oh man, that is super kind of your to say. Blushing for real over here.
I don't know if I would call this story "art." I certainly never set out with the intention of making it so, and I don't think of it as anything artistic. But I'm flattered that someone thinks so! Thanks!
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I just think it would be hard to contain such a vast story to the first person, especially if you are trying to tell the story from different characters perspectives. First person, in my opinion, should be used for linear narratives. This works well with Rarity chapters because Rarity honestly doesn't care what Twist, Silver Spoon, or any other POV character are doing behind the scenes. Rarity only wants Sweetie Bell. She could care less about what's happening in other characters lives. Her interests are more align with the first person style since she has a singular goal which she alone is working towards. It also helps to go directly into her head in order to know what shes thinking. Other characters like Twist and Silver Spoon feel more natural with the third person due to their constant interactions with other characters. You aren't limiting the chapter to only Twist or Silver Spoons perspective. This also makes the chapter smoother and less choppy, since jumping between character perspectives can be kind of jarring.
Anyway, this is just what I personally think. It might be different for you or the public as a whole, but regardless this is still my favorite story on this site.
(By the way I almost died during that one week hiatus. NEVER DO IT AGAIN!!!)
literally the second sentence of this story is this:" My fear I that I'll be too late." really hammy?
and on another note, can't wait to see how this'll end.
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Wow, the second friggin' sentence! That's double-embarrassing since the opening line of each chapter tends to be among the most rewritten. Gah.
Thanks for catching it! I might have to hire you on as a proofreader or something if I ever go pro.
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You raise some excellent points. Rarity is more conflicted nowadays, but in the past she's much more purposeful, and her arc noticeably more straightforward than that of the other major players. Also, her situation kind of isolates her from everyone else, especially the foals she victimizes. That arguably makes her a better candidate for a first-person narrative.
Anyway, next week we're back to third-person. Quite a few ponies running around, no time for naval-gazing. Plus a horse looking at its own naval is a pretty awkward sight.
I can't concentrate on finals with all these updates *Cries* Great work as always, still waiting on more.
Such a climax and now I actually have to wait for the next chapter. Doh.
I know it has no chance in Hell of happening, but I really wish Rarity and Silver Spoon could be together. They make such an adorably fucked up couple. Especially the little ways that Silver and deprivation have worn down Rarity's resistance.
I don't like most shipping, but I like their "romance."
Remember the days when updates were on a monday night?
I miss those days.
I need my fix damnit!
Once again, beautiful work. I hope Rarity and Silver Spoon work it out.
No, go away Diamond Tiara.
Rarity, Silver, and Sweetie are supposed to live happily ever after, raping people.
Wait.
The fuck, brain?