Friendship is Equal to or Greater than Magic

by Fanon Canon

Dead Phoenix Sketch

Finally Spike had arrived at the Royal Palace of Canterlot, capital of the capital, though he couldn't help that maybe, he has gotten here a little quicker then he probably should have. Sure he had had the odd chat with an occasional mare or colt here and there, well actually just mares. But compared to the last day in Ponyville, the conversations had been short, sort of enlightening, short, pretty eccentric, slightly familiar, and short.

Still, as he came in view of the gates, there was something strange stirring within the little dragons form. A certain sense of something coming to an end, and that surprised him. It was like, like going over all the conversations he had had; with his pony friends, total strangers, and a pleasant mixture of everything in-between.

What was that, he was feeling? Was it a longing sense for the variety of oddities in all the different ponies he had chatted to. And that as he strolled up to the gates, the little dragon couldn't help but feel that, what ever awaited him and Twilight would put an end to these little discussions, conversations and... discusations.

"I am the personal student of Princess Celestia herself, I demand an immediate audience with the Princess at once!" Twilight Sparkle was quite loudly and very unbecoming of her proclaiming to the slightly filled hall.

"And I'm telling you, Miss!" The receptionist was matching her tone. "We have had many ponies in here, with just as much authority as yourself. Please take a ticket and join the line and you can wait for an audience if your so inclined."

"Now look here missy!" Twilight continued regardless. "If you understood just a fraction of the business that has brought me here, then you will completely grant me the simple request of an personal audience right this instance!"

"Sorry no can do." The receptionist replied in a formal tone. "Join the queue and wait your tone."

Twilight would have continued, but some part of her felt defeated by the orderly tone and she simply trotted through the door to join the hopefully short queue. Strolling up to the desk, the pony receptionist greeted Spike very differently then the purple unicorn.

"Ah, Mister Spike, just the person we've been waiting to see. Take a ticket and join the queue, the princess will see you shortly." She greeted him warmly.

"Err, thanks." He replied, before obliging and following in the hoofsteps of Twilight.

Going though a door, Spike found himself at the tail end of a large queue that stretched right up to the throne where he imagined the princess was holding court. But the live of ponies was far too long for such a little dragon to get a good look. And right in front of him, pacing awkwardly on the spot was the same unicorn who had caused such a stir in the reception hall.

"Hey Twilight." He casually remarked, causing her to jump on the spot, but she soon got over it.

"Is that how you normally greet everypony." She asked irritated.

"Just you." Spike replied cheekily.

"Well at least you found the place okay." She said with some measure of relief.

"Yeah no thanks to you." He replied with some measure of annoyance.

"Well doesn't it just stand to your skills of pathfinding." She defended herself.

"Sure." Spike said unconvinced. It didn't feel like he had sought the palace out, more like he was driven there by some otherworldly force, probably the spell or some such.

"Well anyway." Twilight continued. "If you could have seen the way this darn receptionist pony talked to me..."

"Actually I saw that." Spike admitted.

"What!" Twilight exclaimed. "You saw me all flustered and didn't try to intervene."

"I think you had it under control." He responded, knowing full too well what it was like to be on the receiving end of Twilight's temper.

"Oh forget it." She said, turning to see if the queue had made any progress.

The line of ponies all waiting for an audience with their ruler. Though Spike was comfortable with the pace it was going at, Twilight couldn't keep still for one second, always reaching up on all her hind legs to look over the crowd.

Eventually the line grew short and the pair of unicorn and dragon found themselves behind one earth pony, holding a cage with something Spike couldn't make out.

And there on her throne sat Princess Celestia, star mane flowing elegantly yet the mighty alicorn herself seemed slouched on her throne, likely from all the formalities she had been forces to go through.

"Next." She announced with barely any effort.

As the last pony trotted forward, Spike grew curious about something. This spell Twilight had cast had certainly proven to be quite the adept at making everypony behave so odd, so eccentric. But if it had managed to worm it's way into the mind of the reigning ruler of all Equestria, well, that would prove quite the feat.

Bur surely not...

"Hello, I wish to register a complaint." The earth pony announced as he approached the mighty alicorn on the mighty throne.

"Go on." Celestia responded drearily.

"Its about this phoenix I bought from a Ponyville pet shop endorsed officially by you." The earth pony began. "I bought it home, only to discover that there was something wrong with it."

"Yeah, what's wrong with it?" Celestia asked.

"Oh I'll tell you whats wrong with it." The pony began. "It's dead, that's what wrong with it."

He placed the cage down in front of his hooves, and sure enough, the head of an unresponsive phoenix could be seen poking out at a stiff angle.

Celestia examined the cave with the dead phoenix, and Spike could have sworn he detected a faint trace of a smirk on her face, before it quickly vanished and the princess spoke.

"Nah, it's resting look." She proclaimed to the pony.

"Look here my lass." The pony began, not willing to entertain her, it seemed. "I know a dead phoenix when I look at one, and I'm looking at a dead phoenix right now."

"Nah, it's resting." Celestia affirmed to the astonishment of more then one pony.

"Resting?" The pony parroted back, bewildered.

"Yeah resting." Celestia repeated unbelievably. "Remarkable bird, the phoenix. Beautiful plumage."

"The plumage don't factor into any if this." The pony replied. "It's stone dead."

"Nah it resting." Celestia reaffirmed herself.

"Alright then of it's resting." The pony replied, turning to the cage. "I'll wake it up."

He removed the phoenix from it's cage completely unresponsive to his grasp.

"Hello pheeny! Wakey Wakey!" He, bashing the stiff phoenix against the floor with his hoof.

Just then, a bright aura of green magic surrounded the phoenix, causing it to awkwardly jolt in it's owners hoof.

"There he moved!" Celestia exclaimed.

"No he didn't, that was you using your horn!" The pony called her out.

"I didn't." Celestia said defensively, despite her horn still glowing slightly.

"Yes you did!" The pony replied before turning back to the bird. "Hello pheeny phoenix! Wakey Wakey!"

He continued to bash the phoenix against the floor, causing a few feathers to fly.

"Rise and shine!" He continued. "This is your nine o'clock alarm call!"

He bashed it against the floor once more, before throwing it into the air, where it hovered for a bit before settling itself down in front of the throne, still completely unresponsive.

"Now that's what I call a dead phoenix." The pony stated observing the bird lying stiff.

"Nah it's stunned!" Celestia exclaimed to the utter bewilderment of all again.

"Stunned?" The pony called her out, not convinced in the slightest.

"Yeah you stunned him just ad he was waking up. Phoenixes stun easily." Celestia continued her increasingly bizarre defence.

"Oh for the love of- I have had quite enough of this." The pony groaned. "That phoenix is definitely deceased. In fact when I bought it from that pet shop, the only reason they said it wasn't moving in the slightest, was that it was completely worn out after a long squawk."

"Well it's... pining for the fjords." The princess said with slight panic.

"Pining for the fjords?!" The pony parroted back once again. "What kind of no nonsense country talk is that, it fell flat on it's back as soon as I got it home."

"Ah well the phoenix prefers to keep on it's back, beautiful plumage." Celestia continued to insist the phoenix was in fact intact.

"I took the liberty of examining that phoenix." He continued. "And I discovered the only reason that it was sitting on it's perch was that it had been fastened there...with glue."

"Oh well of course." She replied. "I mean if it wasn't, it would have waltzed right up to those bars, and blamo!"

"Look here lass." The pony continued, picking up his stiff pet. "This Phoenix wouldn't move if you set it on fire. It's past on."

"Nah it's pining." Celestia pleaded.

"It's not pining. It's past on." He insisted. "This phoenix is no more, it had ceased to be. Its expired and gone to meet it's maker, this is a late phoenix. Its a stiff, devoid of life, it rests in peace, if it wasn't fastened to that perch it would be pushing up the daises. Its gone down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This. Is an ex... phoenix!"

He lay the stiff phoenix on the floor in front of the throne. Celestia rose from her seat, and bent down to examine the bird, looking almost defeated.

"Well then." She said. "You better get it replaced then. Here you are , a personal reference from me explaining your situation."

She handed the pony a forum of paper, and before he could properly reply, she had sent him on his way, a royal guard swooping up the phoenix in a dustpan and brush.

The Princess returned to her throne, and while she did Spike could have sworn he remembered something about some certain business the Princess had with a dead phoenix before. Yet for the life of him he just couldn't remember what it was exactly, but what he could guess at was that it didn't end with a dustpan and brush. Ah well.

"Next." Celestia called out once she had settled herself back down on the throne.

Comments

[TheDarkOne234]

I am so happy that I know what you referenced there.

[Shigawan]

This feels like reading Alice in Wonderland. I'll be honest, I wanted to stop when it got too confusing, and the plot seemed to be moving slower than I could handle, but something kept me reading, and that something demands that you update again soon!

Please?