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Fluttershy just wants a little pony company. It doesn't have to be conversation. Maybe she'll just sit and sip the water as it melts off the ice cubes from her empty drink, and watch the other ponies talk. That would be nice.
Or maybe something entirely different will happen.
On EqD Oct 17, 2012.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Things stolen from John Steinbeck's "The Chrysanthemums":
* Gradual POV shift from objective to third-person limited
* Nameless antagonist
* Chrysanthemums
Thanks to GhostOfHeraclitus, ChessieCat, and Pre-reader #12 for their analyses. I've tried to make this story more than "emotional porn".
Picture is my GIMPed-up edit of the original Bitter Alcoholic Fluttershy by WhiteDiamondsLtd, used with reluctant but very kind permission. She wants to make sure you know that the mutant Fluttershy above is a bastardization of her superior but story-inappropriate work. The posture is wrong, and the right foreleg I drew still makes me flinch. Sorry, Fluttershy.
Please comment if you think something specific about the story can be improved. I'll agree not to take it personally if you'll agree not to take it personally if I ignore your suggestion.
Alright, having read the original and then this one, this is a vast improvement.
Knowing the pre-history of this I must say I'm surprised this made it to market but I'm glad it did. Very worthwhile piece.
This is a sort of 'origin' story for one tiny piece of why Fluttershy is Fluttershy.
The language is clean and the editing is excellent as it always is with just about anything by Bad Horse. Some of the writing was a bit touch and go during the initial iterations but as per his usual style it's been refined with a diamond and cut down to the bare essentials.
The emotions come across in a very detached sort of way right up until the very end which actually works for conveying the real sadness of what happens to her. I can't say I 'enjoyed' it in the sense of having fun reading it but I was definitely engaged and it's worth your time.
-Chessie
I know you're not supposed to respond to spam (also: reported btw)
but every time I see the brand name Ed Hardy now, I think this:
saved the story to read later though cause I gotta get to work
Ouch. Great story, but... ouch.
J.
Dear Beloved Granddaughter,
I was most distraught to hear of your recent meeting with an
individual with low respect for our beloved family. It is with the
utmost of concern for you, my most beloved of grandchildren, that I
asked a number of my associates to look into the matter.
We were deeply saddened to find out that he had been placed in the
Canterlot General Hospital, Dermatology Wing due to an an unfortunate
accident resulting in the need for extensive skin grafts. My
associates assure me that he regrets his actions to you most
sincerely, and shall never darken your doorstep again.
We have sent a flower to his hospital room for you, so there is no
need for you to trouble yourself.
Your loving Grandmother,
Petunia "Kneebreaker" Posy
PS: I have included a rug made to the exact color of this
heartbreaker's coat, which you may place upon your front doorstep of
your delightful home. Think of your loving family every time you wipe
your hooves on
himit.1444577 Sometimes I like to think fluttershy is actually a mob boss who is trying to keep a low profile, but every once in a while the stress of a situation brings her back to her old ways.
...Bastard
I was just wondering if you found any of your inspiration for this from Alice Munro's "How I Met My Husband." The tossed aside flower pot instantly made me think of it. Great story, btw, but so naive Fluttershy
1445630 I stole the discarded flowerpot from "The Chrysanthemums" by John Steinbeck. The other stories that I thought about while writing this one were "Everything That Rises Must Converge" by Flannery O'Connor, and "Miss Brill" by Katherine Mansfield. They all have a similar structure, none of which I completely understand.
That was good, really.
1445778 yeah I derped there. "The Chrysanthemums" was actually the story I was thinking of but for some reason I got it mixed up. Great inspiration though!
this is good the kinda good that makes you warm inside
1445778 haha... you guys are talking like its over!..hahah...its not though...right?
Well, that was painful.
Thumbs up.
This isn't sad =/
1446248 Look for the action-packed next installment, in which Fluttershy learns the ancient martial art of Wing-Fu from a silent mail-mare pegasus with a lazy eye, stocks up at the Sweet Apple Acres Small Arms Factory, then travels to Appleloosa to wreak vengeance upon Smiles!
If it's okay with him, that is.
1446429 Im sold however can you give a really sad chapter before wing fu?
1446429 You're an evil bastard for making me want to read something with that premise...
-Chessie
Is this the end of the story? I hope its not
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Seriously, this is now one of my favourite fanfics on the site. Hats of to you, Bad Horse.
Ruined my night. Great story, but.... damn.
Poor Fluttershy
She really should have listened to the first guy, the one she didn't like. He was the honest one. It fits my mental imagine of pre-Elements Fluttershy to fall for a false act of kindness and disregard honesty as being mean.
A well written and engaging story. Good Job
NTL
this fic is awesome but it sorta bums me out
Hmm, not bad. a bit different from the usual.
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This was brilliantly tragic, absolutely beautiful
1446358
What an insightful piece of feedback.
Unfortunately, I read this chapter before the others by mistake. Still it never seemed like I missed anything; I'm informed that Fluttershy had been manipulated by this colt the other night. A lot was said in such a short amount of words, which makes me think of Richard Laymon's works. Good job.
Good stuff!!
Poor little naive Fluttershy
Damn it, I hurt my hand punching the desk in rage. Fuck that guy, and then Fluttershy trying to defend what he did. Son of a bitch!
Stupid good story made me feel.
Maybe she'll use this to learn and get a happy ending*?
* Fluttershy later gave birth to a sickly bastard child, who died shortly after. Half a year later, a depressed Fluttershy suffered a savage manticore attack while trying to find ducklings lost in Everfree Forest. Her friends found her, but she had no will to keep on living and slipped into a coma, dying a week later. King Sombra conquered and enslaved Equestria due to the inability to find a replacement Bearer of the Element of Kindness in time. Celestia and Luna were taken as his personal slaves and concubines while Twilight wasted away in isolated imprisonment, like the rest of the Elements of Harmony. Shining Armour died in the guerilla war that gripped the nation for decades. Cadence, soon after her husband's death, fled to lands unknown, never to be seen again. Currently, a War To End All Wars is being fought between the tyrannical forces of King Sombra and the insane host of Discord. Millions have died since Sombra invaded and there is no hope or end in sight.
You deserve not 5...but SIX moustaches. Very nice
Ohmygoshthatissosad
Poor and naive Fluttershy...
Sadly so is life. Eh... I hope she will recover and one find someon ein your parallel universe 
Poor Fluttershy. She, of all ponies, doesn't deserve this.
This story is just excellent.
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The feels... They are strong with this one
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Imma liking this already.
The calm before the storm.
Imma watching this.
I always use images to convey my thoughts.
1444577
I would have done the same............
I'm cornfused... What did he do to her, exactly?
1459887
What he did was use her. To her he was a great stallion who would always be some great love perhaps sire a generation of frail winged scardy ponies.
To him she was an easy lay on his way out of town never to be seen or heard from again.
I was hoping that she's go
on him and leave him whimpering, but i guess it wasn't meant to be...
Great fic by the way, really nice buildup to that end.
Now i'm off to sharpen my axe.
That's it, I'm building the Pony Punter 9001 and punting this fuck straight to the moon.
drunken raep tiem
Excuse me whilst I go get my gelding tools. And a large hammer.
I knew that asshole was going to use her and leave like a coward! But still, good story.
I think I need therapy after this fic...
Guys tell each other to that sort of thing so you can get more confidence resulting in more fun times. However, you never know how much hurt you can cause so I will never do that. Then again those guys are out there getting laid and I am reading MLP fanfics...
That last paragraph kind of startled me a little. How did you get inside my head?
Oh boy, this was a threat. Sad and tragic, without devolving into emotional porn, or painting some kind of terrible destiny or villains. The gradual emotional detachment of the writing during the end worked out great, and frankly, it leaves me speechless. One of the best stories in the fandom, no doubt.
Poor Flutters
Excellently written story though, grabbed my attention and didn't let go until I've finished it.