After Apple Bloom and her friends get bullied one too many times by Diamond Tiara, the Mane 6 decide to step in and teach the spoiled filly to be a better pony.
After Apple Bloom and her friends get bullied one too many times by Diamond Tiara, the Mane 6 decide to step in and teach the spoiled filly to be a better pony.
What took them so long?
I'm struggling to find something positive to say about this story so far, as you have a significant number of issues. You have a significant number of mechanical errors, your pacing is much too fast, the characters are extremely out-of-character, and certain plot elements just make no sense. I suppose your premise has promise, but I think this would need a complete rewrite to do it justice.
I feel like this would be better if the characters were actually in-character and didn’t curse so much.
That said, maybe you could do a bit where Apple Bloom endures a bit of humiliation at school or something. If Diamond really did send the picture out to everypony in Ponyville, maybe that bit could demonstrate how quickly it spread to everypony.