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How to be a better pony...kinda

After Apple Bloom and her friends get bullied one too many times by Diamond Tiara, the Mane 6 decide to step in and teach the spoiled filly to be a better pony.

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Comments ( 3 )

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Starlight Nova

Starlight Nova #1 · Apr 17th, 2023 · · · To be better ·

After Apple Bloom and her friends get bullied one too many times by Diamond Tiara, the Mane 6 decide to step in and teach the spoiled filly to be a better pony.

What took them so long?

Starswirl the Beardless

Starswirl the Beardless #2 · May 2nd, 2023 · 1 · · To be better ·

I'm struggling to find something positive to say about this story so far, as you have a significant number of issues. You have a significant number of mechanical errors, your pacing is much too fast, the characters are extremely out-of-character, and certain plot elements just make no sense. I suppose your premise has promise, but I think this would need a complete rewrite to do it justice.

gamernerd717

gamernerd717 #3 · Jun 3rd, 2023 · · · To be better ·

I feel like this would be better if the characters were actually in-character and didn’t curse so much.

That said, maybe you could do a bit where Apple Bloom endures a bit of humiliation at school or something. If Diamond really did send the picture out to everypony in Ponyville, maybe that bit could demonstrate how quickly it spread to everypony.