Author's Notes: AKA "The Anvilicious Story". Inspired by this (>>13188531318853) comment. Was several orders of magnitude easier to write then Statistics.

>Tragedy

lolwut

Wow. The thoughts of a pony who looks like all the mary sue OCs here... I guess i shouldn't ignore a story simply because of how the OC looks...

That was amazingly beautiful. Sorry, I'm all out of congratulatory gifs, but would a simple thumbs up suffice?

Wow. A pony who's red and not a Mary Sue. It's a wonder. So few stories have that any more.

About fucking time we had a story that broke the norm.

EDIT: ABOUT. FUCKING. TIME.

A red-and-black OC who is actually DEEP. UNDERSTANDABLE. The stereotype exists because so many authors fall where you've succeeded!

IT CAN BE DONE! LET THIS STORY BE PROOF THAT IT CAN BE DONE!!!

Let it be the benchmark all authors grade their stories! This was a one-shot and I felt HURT by the end! I feel bad for the reviews I've given!

I've given OC after OC a chance, and they all failed. But this, THIS took my expectations, gripped them like a fucking blood clot on the heart, tore them and showed them to me. And you know what the story shouted in my face? You know what it shouted? I'll tell you:

"THESE ARE TOO LOW. YOU UNDERESTIMATE ME."

And I was elated. Gleeful. Ecstatic. Happier than Pinkie on a partying spree.

Sir...you've done us all a grand service. You took a stereotype and showed the authors out there how it's done.

I just hope more stories take this one by example, and continue to clean the name of red-and-black...maybe it's a dream...

but it's just as possible that it may become reality.

Nice, nice. If someone is experienced enough to convey emotion like you and the few, I wouldn't be so critical about everything.

You are really misled in your message. Which is a shame because your writing is pure poetry. I'll give this the good ole Texan try tomorrow. Too sleepy right now.

^ What this guy said.

Very nice story! I enjoyed it greatly. Now a question completely irrelevant to this, but how long did it take for your story to get accepted?  

Well shit...I feel kinda bad now...Bravo good sir, for making me feel.

Oh well. Wait until the next bad redxblack OC story. Then I'll get over it.

Wow, that was really good. I was expecting a parody fic of bad OC tropes but instead you have touched my heart. Well done and keep up the good work.

>>13352121335212

Don't feel bad about your reviews. You judged the character for what it was and that is that. I've read plenty of stories with good OCs. That doesn't I feel bad when I see a crummy one and point out the fact that it's crummy. In fact, it feels good to know that there are good OCs out there to balance out the bad.

That said, this has been added to my Read Later. Statistics was great stuff, so I am looking forward to reading this at some point.

>>13354071335407

It took approximately 25 hours and 15 minutes from submission to posting.

Alright. Thank you! My story has been taking forever, and my brother said that his took only about an hour. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't just mine.

China pony.

I'm metaphorical cancer!   COOL!  

>>13351391335139 saw the pic u posted and died for aprox. 10 minutes

Poor Open Cluster. She'd probably find a sympathetic ear in Twilight if she dared to share her story. Or Pinkie, who you'd think would've involved herself at least a little.

In any case, a great piece of metafiction. Don't judge a pony by her colors.

in many ways, this story mirrors our world.

it's... everywhere.

This whole red and back OC stereotype thing is kind of funny. I have seen plenty of bad OCs, but they are almost never that particular color scheme. About the only place I ever see red and black OCs are in some parody/crack fics making fun of cliche and stereotypes.

>>13351391335139

Yeah, it's the mane that counts.

That is all. So much

An excellent breakdown of stereotypes. I really wanted to reach through the screen and give a hug.

I'm going to point out a few errors here. There aren't many, so I can include some of the more nitpicky ones as well as the big ones.

Not to sound specist, but I was born a unicorn, which has certain advantages over the other species.

Their ability to interbreed indicates that unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies are not separate species. They are races or, at the most, subspecies. Therefore, "racist" would be more accurate.

it's that its a slimy elitist cesspit filled with morally bankrupt nobles who wouldn't bat an eye to one of the species going extinct if it didn't effect him.

"Effect" should be "affect", "him" should be "them", and "its" should be "it's".

Grooming would become a daily choir,

"Choir" should be "chore". Unless, of course, she was singing in a group as she did it, but that seems unlikely.

I decided there was only one place left for me to go. Ponyville, a small town located several miles from the nightmare on the side of Mount Crumpit that is Canterlot.

This should be one sentence with a colon between "go" and "Ponyville".

Miss Sparkle's my only in person customer.

It should be "in-person".

well, at least you tried to use an interesting idea, but the execution was a bit overdone. It was trying to get to that point where it makes the readers feel what you're trying to convey, but then it went beyond that into more of a parody than tragedy. There were so many points where I just stared at the screen wondering if you really wanted me to buy what you wrote

>>14686041468604

Hence the "Anvilicious Story" nickname. It is really overdone, to the point where it's almost impossible to believe that the ponies of utopian Equestria could be such raving racists/specists. That's kind of the point though. As it's a metafic, the other ponies are reacting the way most readers do when they see a "read and black OC".

sequel please :D

>>14691651469165

then I think tagging it as a parody/comedy would work better than trying to pass it as Tragedy

because it seems you failed, the intent seems to be lost by how many people are going "Oh my feels"

actually, check Twilight Sparkle: History's greatest monster to see how to successful do what you attempted to do. It would help to rewrite it in the future

>>14704531470453

On the contrary, the intent was for it to be [Tragedy], cranked up to an unrealistic eleven, but [Tragedy] none the less.

>>14704761470476

that's called parody, not tragedy. As mentioned already, it fails to convey a sense of tragedy when people have to force themselves to suspend their disbelief to allow your ideas to have any hold

the way other people are calling this fic is that you got mad that somebody didn't like your OC. That's the other way people see this idea developed

>>14705021470502

It's actually really funny you mentioned the "me being mad" thing because I thought the same exact thing when I wrote it. It's not true, of course, neither Statistics nor Ascend have any OC's in them (well, Ascend will eventually) and I actually really don't like OC's in MLP fanfics (especially when they get into relationships with canon characters).

A parody is meant to make fun of something. This isn't (of course, you might still find it funny). Based on a quick glancing at Wikipedia, Satire might be a better word for it, but I'm not a literary expert.

Black and red OCs don't get any love?

Dainty Dish knows that feeling, but got over it. Way over it. Being indirectly endorsed by Lockheed Martin helps with that.

As I said on Spacebattles, it is really easy to imagine the ponies acting like they do in this fic (I can't really imagine a situation where a bias against black and red ponies would develop, but logic rarely enters into bigotry), and it does make the reader feel a good amount of emotion. However, it suffers from a lot of "show, don't tell." The fic would have been a whole lot better had we gone through Open Cluster's life with her instead of just having it be summarized for us. Now, there have been some fics that have managed to make that style work (for instance, All-American Girl's first chapter is comprised mostly of an interview between a newswoman and a pony OC), but the thing that they usually have going for them is length and detail, this fic does not have that.

If what you're really going for is an uber-tragedy then what you should do is write take this chapter and rewrite it as a bunch of chapters. Start from Open Cluster's youngest years and move on through to Ponyville, telling each excruciatingly painful moment for her in great detail. That way the tragedy is all the greater because we've grown attached to her through all the time we've spent with her, just like Sailor Nothing!

Huh? Red and black?.. What's the problem with red and black? Is it like the "stereotype alicorn god-being" problem?

>>14987701498770

Most bad OC's are of a weird color combination (usually darker colors like gray, black, dark blue, etc.) that contrast too much with the bright, cheerful colors of the canon ponies. Red and black is one of the most common. Hence its use.

>>14989141498914

So in a world filled to the brim of pink Neon ponies it's the ones who would probably look the most natural in the real world that get the bad rap.... Funny

Well that was sad.

I feel like this could have been longer, and much more detailed.

>>13352121335212

your comment freaks me out, i dont know why bt it makes me think your having a soap opera with your heart and you rip your heart out

>>15923051592305

I do it for fun.

>>14989141498914 Crap, now I'm really paranoid about my first OC being gray.  Good story.

This was funny in a poke-at-the-fandom kidna way, but i also felt for the character at the same time.

This was hysterical.  The fact that you used a ponycreator for the cover was the icing on the cake.

>>14701681470168 YES. SO MANY.

Whyyyyy.

okay, get back in here and write chapter 2.