1. Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
  2. offline for 3h, 6m

I should probably put something here, shouldn't I?

Featured In16

  • ...

Sometimes, all we need are a few stats to shed some light on a subject.

First Published
30th Aug 2012
Last Modified
30th Aug 2012
#1 · 148w, 1d ago · · ·

Authors Notes:  AKA "The Padding Story". The cover image provided the inspiration for this story.

#2 · 148w, 1d ago · 18 · ·

praise jesus, you made numbers interesting

#3 · 148w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

This is one of the most unique piece of writing that I have ever read. Very fine work, keep on writing.

#4 · 148w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Pretty unique way to tell a long story in a short way :pinkiehappy:

#5 · 148w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

My face is leaking. Brilliant, I say. Also coincides with my headcanon!

#6 · 148w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

I like my numbers.

This story has numbers.

I like this story.

#7 · 148w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Definitely an interesting way to show this kind of story. I liked it. :pinkiehappy:

#9 · 148w, 23h ago · · ·

It's very great story, and reminds me one story of great sci-fi writer Lem... But I lost name of this novel.

Anyway, great way of showing thousand years of Celestia's pain.

(And it gave slightly robotic, GLADoS-like feeling)

#10 · 148w, 22h ago · · ·

You forgot:

Six thousand, nine hundred and seventy-three acres of forest permanently made uninhabitable due to the magical backlash of our last battle.

Great fanfic!

#11 · 148w, 20h ago · 1 · ·

Sometimes the best stories are the simplest ones. You have done a superb job writing this... words can't really describe what I think. Thank you for sharing this.

Celestia's Paladin

#12 · 148w, 20h ago · · ·

Beautiful.  I'll see you on the featured section, hopefully.

#13 · 148w, 20h ago · · ·

>>1187384 Ditto.

Great fanfic, but I also think you should have mentioned the Everfree Forest there. Fave'd.

#14 · 148w, 19h ago · · ·

dear internet:

go ahead. try and call Celestia a troll. make a bananas joke. I freaking dare you.

this was amazing. it's difficult for a mortal mind to comprehend just how long a thousand years is, but this certainly gives us a basic idea. good grief.

I'm curious how much research and calculations went into making these stats realistic? Off the top of my head, I've got no idea how many laws are passed each year, or how many criminals are convicted, etc... you really must've gone full Twilight with this. I commend you.

#15 · 148w, 18h ago · · ·

GOOD stuff!! emotional range = :derpyderp2::pinkiegasp::fluttercry::fluttercry::twilightangry2::facehoof::pinkiehappy:

#16 · 148w, 17h ago · · ·



In hindsight, I really should have added something about the Everfree Forest but I was too worried about padding the story out to 1,000 (I never want to have to write out numbers again) words for it to even cross my mind. Yes, I see the irony.


Thank you for reading it.


The hardest part was trying to figure out how many leap days are in a 1,000 years (I calculated 143) due to all the rules (every 4 years except for years divisible by 100 and that rule is excepted for years divisible by 400). Everything else was educated guesses (i.e. "How many seconds in between conversations?" 60x60x24x365,243=31,556,995,200. Leap seconds were not included because I said "screw it".)

#17 · 148w, 17h ago · · ·


But WOULD there be leap years in Equestria? Remember that there, the sun goes around the planet, so 1 year could be exactly 365.00 days, not 365.23 days as there is here.

Another fanfic theorizes that their planet does indeed rotate, but at a rate of 1 revolution every 365 days, allowing for the seasonal tilt and the rotating of constellations.

#18 · 148w, 17h ago · · ·

God. This fic is amazingly simple, yet it says what need to be said.

It's nice and unique.


#20 · 148w, 16h ago · · ·


For all we know, one Equestrian year could be 500 days long; it's Like Reality, Unless Noted.

#21 · 148w, 16h ago · 1 · 9 ·

I remember when there was a rule stating that stuff uploaded here had to be stories. Guess they missed one.

#22 · 148w, 16h ago · 1 · ·

Truly awesome. I love stories about the fall of Luna tha6 focus on Celestia's guilt and shame. WAY too many Tyrant-lestia who write it being a cold, harsh thing she did. Imagine having to banish your own sister to 1,000 years of solitary confinement because you failed to see the signs. Heartbreaking in the best ways.

#23 · 148w, 16h ago · · ·

Another like for thee.

Oh noes, I see some rumblings about the numbers. Lemme grab some popcorn and watch. :pinkiehappy:

#24 · 148w, 15h ago · · ·

Very rarely does a story grip me enough to have to read it out loud. Congratulations for making such an amazing story.

#25 · 148w, 15h ago · 1 · ·

I am amazed how you combined the cold, hard numbers with the swirling emotions, bringing those numbers to life. Looking at it, I can see that the smallest of things can create the greatest of difference, right towards the end. Top marks! :twilightsmile:

#26 · 148w, 14h ago · · ·

>"Six million, eight hundred and fifteen thousand, two hundred and fifty-one calories consumed trying to fill the emptiness you left."


>"One million, one hundred and ten thousand, two hundred and thirty-nine meals eaten alone."

That's just over 6 calories per meal :rainbowhuh:

>"Four million, seven hundred and eighty-three thousand, two hundred and four alcoholic drinks consumed to numb the pain."

That's  about 13 per day

Interesting take and format!

#27 · 148w, 14h ago · · ·


The calorie number isn't how many calories she's eaten overall, it's how many she's eaten while depressed over Luna. (Like how people eat ice cream when they're sad.)

As for the second one, um, oops :twilightsheepish:. (I'm surprised you didn't notice how many sessions of Parliament she's attended.) Looks like revisions will be in store (and I can add that little bit on the Everfree Forest too).

#29 · 148w, 13h ago · · ·

I haven't felt this involved by an Excel spreadsheet about ponies since I read the Best Pony Survey at Bronycon. :twilightsheepish:

The juxtaposition between the cold, calculated facts and Celestia's personal inputs regarding the data was oddly effective. As you read line by line, top to bottom, you really understood how much grief she went over, having calculated such an exhaustive list, each marked by her emotional input. Yet the very end, the change of tone and rhythm as she is redeemed, was very powerful. It was different, but moving all the same.

Just have to ask: other than the scientifically-specified values, how ever did you come up with all those numbers?

#30 · 148w, 13h ago · · ·


As lame as it sounds, I simply guessed. Some of them I used math on (i.e. "How many meals had she eaten" 365,243x3 and then I added or subtracted a few to make it seem more realistic [how often do you really eat three times a day?]) while others (like the "hours of radio listened to") I guessed based on generally how long radio would have been around for (say a 100 years) then converted that into hours (876,000) then grabbed a small, random number (13,284). Other times, my guessing failed miserably (as Bulbasaur pointed out above.).

#31 · 148w, 13h ago · · ·

I don't know why I did it but I read this story immeadiately after reading I Miss You, and while listeneing to Viva La Vida on repeat.

Saddest thing I've ever done.

And I'm not including any emoticons because they cannot even come close to portraying the sadness I feel.

Thirteen thousand, two hundred and eighty-four hours of radio listened to, trying to forget your screams of hurt and betrayal.

One blue stuffed alicorn which I stained with my tears.

These two lines...

Combined with Viva La Vida...

And Reading "I Miss You" beforehand...

My feelings are going to be locked on "Sad" for hours.

Excuse me. I need to go and let some of those feelings out.

Good story, by the way.

That was when I ruled the world...

#32 · 148w, 12h ago · 2 · ·

Is it wrong to want to hug a magical pony princess and say that everything is going to be okay to her?:fluttercry:

#33 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·

Being immortal sucks if your alone. Though I would wonder how she could even attempt to kill herself.

#34 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·

It's a new way of looking at things, I'll give you that.

#35 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·

that was beautiful. if i knew how, i would post the picture of sweetie staring into the bright light. :derpytongue2:

#36 · 148w, 12h ago · 3 · ·


These statistics painted a pretty vivid story about all that happened in the thousand years of Luna's Banishment.

It just approached it in an very unconventional fashion.

Have a good day, sir   :rainbowhuh:

#37 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·

>>1189687 earned you a fav on this.

author: *takes most boring thing to people and writes a story that puts a real perspective on life"

if you think about it.

#38 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·

A great concept and near-perfectly executed.

#39 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·

What a great story, but now I have a strong urge of doing math.

Also, I have a question. I might be wrong here. When you wrote:

"One million and three sentenced to jail time or temporary banishment.

One million and two's sentences lasted less then one hundred years."

Was the one sentence supposed to be Discord?

#40 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·


The one sentence was Luna.

#41 · 148w, 12h ago · 1 · 2 ·

Wait, so where exactly is the story in all this?

#42 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·

Quick, somepony put the "I'm still alive" sung by GLADoS!:trollestia:

#43 · 148w, 12h ago · · ·

Saw the title, Intstantly reminded me of this quote.

"One death is a tragedy, A million is a statistic"

#44 · 148w, 11h ago · · ·

>>xTSGx Oh. I thought you were talking about after Luna's banishment. It makes sense now. Thanks. :ajsmug:

#45 · 148w, 11h ago · · ·


Are you sure all your figures add up? Some of them seem a bit large.

#47 · 148w, 11h ago · 1 · ·


This is Princess Celestia recounting the loss of her sister, things that happened in between, the prep work she did to regain her, and their reunion.

#48 · 148w, 11h ago · · ·

I saw this in the featured box and wanted to make that old joke: "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics."

Then I read it.

You have acquired a like.

#49 · 148w, 11h ago · · ·

A new and interesting take on things! :twilightsmile::heart:

#50 · 148w, 11h ago · · ·

>>1190710 Yep, Though it sometimes is credited to Josef Stalin

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