AN: No way! This got featured?! Thank you so so much! This really means a lot to me!
When Spoiled Rich runs into the difficult case of no longer having any staff working in her mansion, she understands that she herself doesn't exactly know how to take care of herself. And with a little issue coming up in some three days, she's going to learn the hard way what her character has brought upon herself.
An arrogant mare can remain arrogant for quite some time - the question is, what gets her to open up her eyes?
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This is an entry into the Ancestral Tribute Competition!
Author's Note: I saw this competition but ended up joining too close to the deadline! Kind of how the theme of a three-day time limit is in the story, I myself had a similar thing where most of this fic was written in three days, separated into three parts which I wrote in what I estimate to be eight hours total. I don't think I did a superb job, but this was refreshing and I hope enjoyable!
Also, this is my first attempt writing comedy - ever!
On that note, I also attempted to write this fic like an episode of MLP, kinda - to an extent. I thought it'd be a nice way to guide the process.
Why Spoiled rich, when there are so many other interesting characters that qualify?
Well - if choosing from the best parent was going to be a painstaking process full of struggle as I couldn't possibly choose a small enough number to fit into the entry...
Why not try my luck with a...not-so "best" parent?
Really wish we had seen something like this for Spoiled Rich in the show.
11394929
It's really fun to try and "reform" some of the mean characters, so yeah, I totally agree.
This story was a wonderful read. It felt like it could be an episode if mlp was aimed at slightly older audiences well done. bonus points for making me feel sympathy for spoiled
11394996
Thank you so much! I guess I'm still perfecting my ability to make "E"-rated work! And yeah, it's fun to coax sympathy for the unsympathetic!
11395018
It's e just not e enough for Hasbro I could see disney doing a story like this though.
11395018
I said that more as rib at Hasbro then anything
11395043
Yeah - but I think the O.G. show writers were able to do a lot of good with the limitations they still had imposed on them!
11395045
We would not be here today if it weren't for those writers so I agree
I admit, I was pleasantly surprised by this story. But then again I'm a sucker for even terrible characters having some measure of redeeming qualities.
11395186
Same! Glad you enjoyed it!
This was good a good read, Thank you for making it.
11395569
Thank you so much!!!
👏👏👏 Standing ovation. I've been too sick to write my own story and the flu ate up my writing time, but I hope that you are one of the winners. Take it to the moon for me, Mokoma!
The story was funny, warm, entertaining, interesting, unique, deep and magnifique! Nice job with the story and developing Spoiled Milk/Rich - nice job with the world building of a pony we barely know using inferences and past info from the show! And the new characters as well - awesome job with them - especially Grease and his neice Feather - I wish they were real!
11395018
Nice job - this long story never dropped my attention while delving into Spoiled's past.
11395599
AAA this is one of the nicest comments I've ever received on my work! Thank you thank you thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed this fic! And I'm glad my original character input worked out, in the end!
Thank you so much for this!
Also, your profile picture is one of the best things I've ever laid my eyes on!
11395635
:) You are so welcome! And thank you, it's the cutest thing really - my two favorite franchises combined with the cutest of hats - themselves! Have a nice day!
11395647
You too!!
Lets be honest, if shes doing what I think she's doing with the Pool Colt, its only a matter of time till she gets caught and divorced.
11395853
Those pools gotta stay clean!
Now this is a great idea for a story. Someone who's so used to being waited on all the time learns how hard things can be when they have to do it on their own. This would have been a great episode.
c.tenor.com/YJMolkl_d-gAAAAd/tenor.gif
11396166
Eeee! Thanks! I don't know at what point, but I did decide to try and do what I can to make it more like an episode halfway through writing.
11396258
The poor colt can't catch a break!
That was a good story.
11396294
Thank you so much!!
Great storytelling skills, it felt like I was there in person.
Any chance for an epilog? Maybe a sequel of some sort?
11396654
Thank you! As for a sequel or epilogue I'm unsure. I would have to have an idea for it and for it to have some substance. The best I could come up with an epilogue was the bit at the end.
Great job with your story! It had a lot of heart put into it and I love how you made your own version of Spoiled's backstory. Well done!
11396733
Thank you so much! I'm usually a bit afraid to take my own liberties when it comes to canon characters, but I thought there was no harm making things somewhat..."vague but with some sense of direction". Appreciated!
She considered it consuming the souls of a thousand unicorns every day as more of a feature than a bug.
Completely unbelievable. Spoiled would expect her maids to have all of that memorized after the one and only time she'd ever actually tell them. (I do especially appreciate the negative three pumps of coconut. And how there's no room for actual coffee.)
Definitely better to hint at this sort of thing rather than come out and say it. Have a little faith in your readers' ability to pick up the subtext.
I'm not following this sentence...
Huh. That makes two entries thus far with a reference to Equestria's longest conga line. Go figure.
My issue is the disconnect between having nothing and knowing nothing. Yes, her self-sufficiency may have atrophied after being waited on hoof and other hoof for years, but not knowing how to look after herself when she had no one to fall back on... how did she last long enough to snag Filthy in the first place? And how did she manage to do so with basically no redeeming qualities?
Citation needed.
I do like Spoiled's arc here, but the backstory doesn't feel like it has enough support. There's not enough to build the bridge between the mare we see on the show and the one in this story, and thus I just can't muster the sympathy I'm expected to. Plus, the emotional beats get too heavy for what's meant to be a screwball comedy. Still, there are definitely some good bits here. A bit more insight into Spoiled's journey and this could be very good indeed. As is, thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
11396840
Thanks for the feedback, it's really helpful! Sadly I saw the competition really late so I didn't really have much time to re-read and check. Still, glad I was able to make it within the time limit. Thanks again for this!
Interesting story with a lot of heart. I think you did wonderfully! Great work!
(Have to ask just cause the series is fresh in my mind-is the mare with the wizard hat who wants to impress her marefriend a reference to Luz Noceda and Amity Blight? (The Owl House))
11397164
Thank you so much!!
(Oh no that was just a reference to Trixie and Starlight, eheh)
That was great :)
11397232
No problem! It's a great story!
(Oh, whoops-forgot they existed for a sec. Sorry! But they're cute too!)
11397309
So glad you liked it! Thanks!!
My only regret is we did not see rich and dimond tiara reaction to the humbled spoiled rich
11399191
I would have liked to include that! Sadly, this was one of the rules of the contest - that the involvement of the child of the character was to be kept to a minimum.
11399212
Fair enough maybe do it for a sequel someday
An oddball ghost happened across your fic and read it. Have a review!
11441710
oh my gosh oh mygosh-- Thank you so much for your review!!! This was a really sudden and unexpected surprise, so it really made my day! Thank you so much for your awesome feedback - I was grinning the whole time while I read through it!
Spoiled was probably one of the worst characters in the show in terms of personality. The others are the Canterlotian aristocracy (Prince Blueblood and the like).
I don't deny some level of curiosity to how a mare like her ended up in Ponyville of all places and married.
As to her name, particularly her maiden name, one Fandom theory I'm rather fond of is that her family's trade was cheese related. From that, we can guess that her getting that diamond ring didn't go over well with mummy and daddy.
I enjoy a more uplifting take on Spoiled's future. Thanks for the warm fuzzies!
11444066
If memory serve swell, there was a theory that she had some kinda milk-related job, like a milkmaid or something like that. Yeah though - it's fun to write about the "worse" characters!
11463324
Thank you so much!!!