This story is a very nice story about Clear Canvas. She loves being artistic and loves selling her paintings. This girl lives in the one and only Canterlot!
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ClearCanvas
Joined 17th Sep, 2012 ·
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Alright, well, review time. I already edit a story part time, so I'm not going to do a huge "sentence by sentence, word for word" look at what was wrong, lest I bash my head into my keyboard midway through. Just going to give you some general tips/pointers. Alright, here we go.
1. Grammar. While not nearly as bad as a lot of fics that have ended up on the front page as of late, it's still something you could improve on. A new paragraph is always to be started after a new speaker.
Could be changed to:
Continuing with the grammar theme, commas should be added (unless using other punctuation besides a period) at the end of quotation marks if you're speaker's action is not a full sentence by itself.
Can be changed to:
On to the simple things. You omitted a few period where periods belong (not going to bother quoting simply because this review is going to be long if I use an example each time. Quotation marks in some places also got omitted. "Your" was used when "you're" should have been, quotation where an apostrophe should have been, first paragraph wasn't indented, and so on.
In conclusion: 2/5 mustaches
2. Spelling. Thank Celestia this wasn't an issue. Pretty much everything was at least spelt right. (Except one minor thing in the cover picture. "Mabye" instead of "Maybe".)
In conclusion: 4/5 mustaches
3. Storyline. Uh oh. This is an extremely opinionated subject, thus I'm not going to get too deep into it or include it in the average rating I give. This is also where I tend to get into rants and/or raves. Remember, any objections/compliments are just mine, and should be taken with a dump truck of salt. Anyway, on with it.
It seems as of right now, we're simply following the OC (self-insert or otherwise) along on their small little journey to and from Canterlot. Nothing too exciting has honestly happened, and I'm having trouble thinking how this story really stands out from any other "OC in Equestria" stories. No interesting plot/characters, no emotional twists or turns, but we are only one chapter in, so we'll have to wait and see how the story develops. If, though, you were going to have your OC paint art throughout the story, I will pass. But again, this is just me. I'll give it a rating, but it's not going to be included in the average.
In (my) conclusion: 2/5 mustaches
4. OC since the story is OC related. This one is going to be averaged in.
Not too shabby. No "Mary Sue" self insert, color scheme ain't bad (hooray for no red and black demon-spawn thing), and she has a decent amount of character. However, she could still be improved. A bit more character development could be tossed into play, and some emotions (not just sadness/anger/so on) could be added to the mix. We haven't truly been.. connected to the OC in terms of thoughts/feelings, and thus I (and again, I) find it hard to really care about what happens to her. But, again, not too shabby, and she ain't "the son of the devil", so hey.
In conclusion: 3/5 mustaches
Average rating: 3/5 mustaches
Final thoughts:
This isn't too bad, and I hope to see you improve in the future. Also, this review took me about 30-40 minutes total to write, so APPRECIATE IT.
1313267 I'm sorry, I'm just 9 years old. Thanks for the advise.
More dislikes....... it okay I guess.....
Waiting for the future.
1321701
My storys kinda suck too. givem a read.
I actually liked it Its not the grammar and other stuff (okay maybe the grammar) Its the heart.
Domestic Pymgy I want more advise! You really helped me! Thanks a lot!
1326852
Anyway, I'll see what I can whip up, but it won't be for a little while. Got some nonsense in life to take care of. 
Sorry. I didn't see your comment. Reply to me next time so I see it easier.
1342916 I can wait for 3 weeks if I have to. Take all the time you need.