Chapter 6
Daring Do was flying towards the nearest town, which to her understanding was known as Ponyville. She needed to report what she found to Celestia, but she first had to do something about that spike in her hand. The ram may have spared her, but the spike intruding her hand is not only painfully annoying but also deadly if left unchecked.
---
Ironhide followed Applejack through the orchid.
"So, what exactly am I supposed to do?"
Applejack replied, "We just need to get all of these apples harvested before the end of the season."
"All of them?" He looked at the entire field.
"Yep. Luckily, Big Macintosh will be able to help us this year. Last year a tree branch fell on him and he wasn't able to help. Trust me, ya don't want to know what all happened then."
"Okay… Estimating the time it'll take to climb up there and-"
"Climb? That's not the way we do it here."
The weapon specialist looked at her confused. He knew that it would be difficult to pick the apples while climbing the trees, but to not climb them would make it even more difficult.
"What?"
"Nothin'. Just trying to figure out how you do this."
"Easy. Just watch me."
She walked up to a tree and set a few baskets over some nice groups of apples. It then only took one roundhouse kick from her to send all of those apples to the baskets. Ironhide could only watch in amazement while trying to figure out how such a feat could be possible. Applejack looked back at Ironhide and said, "Now you try it."
"Um… Okay…"
He walked up to another tree while Applejack set the baskets under the ideal spots. He had brute strength. Surely this will be and easy task, right? He repeated the motion Applejack did, but only got a sixteenth of the apples in the tree into the baskets. He tried again with more force but got even less than he did the first time. Applejack giggled a little as Ironhide was getting a little annoyed. Having enough, the Autobot opted to use his fist this time around. He got a few more apples than he did the last times and sore knuckles to show for it.
"Maybe we try something else for you. Think you can carry those baskets of apples to the barn?"
Ironhide simply shrugged and loaded two baskets into the truck bed. He then hefted up two more onto his shoulders, giving Applejack a very good view of his muscular arms and chest.
"Which way?" he asked.
She simply pointed in the direction of the barn; too flustered to speak if the deep blush on her cheeks were any indication. She kept her gaze on the Autobot's figure (I.E. his backside) as he walked away with his Topkick following close behind, wiping away the trail of drool from the side of her mouth. From the living room window, Granny Smith watched the entire scene through a pair of binoculars and laughed at her granddaughter's behavior.
"He-heh-heh-heh-he! She's her mother's daughter, alright!"
She continued laughing as she also kept an open photo album on her lap. The most notable picture was one of a large, burly red Earth Pony stallion with a black mane wearing a military uniform and a Stetson hat holding a young red-furred with a blonde mane. Standing next to them was an orange Mare of the same type as the stallion with a long golden blonde mane; she was holding a very young, possibly newborn, filly in her arms as she had a big beautiful smile.
Below the photo was a simple sentence, listing off the names of those in the picture.
'Rambo Apple, Macintosh Apple, Applejack, and Orange Blossom.'
---
Twilight and company stared up at Canterlot castle as they approached. The citizens continued to stare at the group, mainly the towering Optimus Prime, but the group just kept walking on.
"Jeez, the way they keep staring at Prime makes me think they never seen anyone like him before," Jazz commented.
Twilight silently agreed and was curious as to why. Cadance spoke before she could ask.
"They haven't, Mr. Jazz. No one has for a very long time. Not me, not Princess Luna or even Celestia."
Everyone looked at the pink Alicorn in silence, wondering what she meant. However, before anything else could be said, the sound of shattering glass rang through the air. All heads in the area whipped towards the source to see three masked ponies running out of a store with bags in hand. Two hopped into a carriage parked right next to the curb while the third threw his bag into the cab and began to pull the carriage away as the store owner ran out screaming:
"Stop! Thieves!"
Twilight recognized the owner as Hoity Toity, the fashion big wig who critiqued Rarity's work years ago. Now it looked like he was being robbed.
"Prime?" Jazz began.
"I got 'em. Stay and provide assistance to any who need it."
"Roger that, Prime."
Optimus then dashed off after the crooks, his truck detached from the trailer and sped after the Autobot leader.
"You're just going to let him go alone?" Twilight asked in concern.
"Don't worry, Sparky; Prime is one of the toughest around," Jazz assured her.
Twilight then glared at the 1st lieutenant.
"Don't call me 'Sparky."
Shining Armor chuckled at the nickname, "Sparky."
---
The two thieves in the carriage were reveling in their success and their haul of expensive and luxurious jewelry. Laughing and cheering until one caught sight of something out the back window.
"We're being followed!" he said to his partner.
The other thief looked out to see Optimus running as fast as he could after the thieves, his Peterbilt truck keeping up without effort.
"Who in blazes is that?"
"That must be that new Alicorn I've been hearing about."
"Well, lose him!"
One pulled out a crossbow and took aim. Prime saw the arrow before they even fired. Everyone watched, as if someone turned on slow-motion, as Prime dodge the first shot and his truck ran up a ramp for a jump. He then leaped over the second shot with the aid of a table at a café. While still in mid-air, Prime's Truck split open and attached onto the red Alicorn. Once he landed back on the ground with his armor now almost completely unfolded on his body, Optimus rolled forward to dodge a third arrow. Once back on his feet, his armor totally unfolded, Prime then snapped his battle mask over his muzzle. He then decided to try his new wings by giving them one strong flap, sending him into the air and onto the roof of the carriage, denting it with his weight.
"Pull over!" Optimus shouted as he pulled out his barrage cannon and shot out the left front wheel.
Optimus jumped off just as the carriage then rolled over and crashed. The thief pulling the carriage was hurt but not too badly, either way he was out of the fight. Another one was knocked out inside the carriage when it flipped over, his injuries seemed light. The last of the thieves was still conscious and managed to climb out and fall onto the ground. He crawled towards his fallen crossbow after catching sight of it on the ground. However, before he could even touch it, the weapon was crushed by a hoof in red and blue painted metal. The thief looked up at the owner, one Optimus Prime, towering over him and he was ready for round two.
"Uhh… I surrender?" the last jewel thief said.
"Wise decision"
They were then flanked by a platoon of royal guards. Prime put away his gun after recognizing some of the guards from earlier.
"You certainly have a way of making an impression," a familiar feminine voice said from behind Prime, making him turn around.
The fillies all bowed but the colts were too entranced to follow suit. For walking down the street was Princess Celestia, looking even more radiant than ever. She seemed to have a glow about her that left any and all colts in the area speechless; a testament to her royal stylists.
(A/N: I have no idea on how to make her look really good so bear with me, please.)
Optimus, however, appeared to be the only one unaffected. No one was quite sure if he really was and was hiding it well or if he really had no interest in that way.
Celestia kept her gaze on Optimus and noted how his armor looked on him. This was the first time she had seen it out compared to the first time she saw it folded up as a truck. She was intrigued at how the armor could be compacted into something so unassuming. When she saw the battle mask still closed on his face, she had to admit it suited him well. The mask then retracted, revealing his handsome face once again, causing her to blush slightly.
"Princess Celestia," Prime greeted with a nod.
"Optimus Prime, welcome to Canterlot," the princess returned the greeting with a small curtsy.
"I apologize for any trouble I caused," Optimus said, looking at the guards picking up the band of crooks.
"It's quite alright. You did stop a few criminals from escaping. Anyway, Twilight said in her letter that you wish to speak to me about something regarding a relic you lost?"
"Yes, that is correct."
"Then let us go to the palace so that we may discuss it more. Twilight and company are already waiting for us there," Celestia offered.
Prime nodded as he, the sun princess and two guards headed off back to Canterlot Castle.
---
Gilda was wandering about Ponyville, many of its denizens quickly moving out of her way.
'These ponies are as lame as they were the first time I was here. Still, I could use something to eat. I wonder where I can find something cheap?'
Her vision was suddenly blocked out when a piece of paper was almost slapped into her face.
"Hello!"
"Who are you?"
"Oh, just a filly handing out flyers for Sugar Cube Corner. We're promoting our newest product; won't you give it a try?"
Gilda looked at the mare that was holding the flyer in front of her. She had a white fur coat and a familiar purple mane and wore dark sunglasses, yet the griffon could not quite remember where she had seen her before. She then looked at the flyer in the mare's hand:
'The Menasor, the largest ice cream confection in Equestria. Do you have what it take to conquer this beast? The lucky customer who can eat this entire sundae in one sitting will win a big surprise. Available only today at Sugar Cube Corner. Absolutely free.'
Gilda liked the free part and took flight towards the bakery. When she was far enough away, the mare took off her sunglasses revealing her to be Rarity and then a familiar red Autobot faded from nothingness into existence.
"Mirage to Sideswipe, target has taken the bait."
---
"Roger that, Mirage. You two report back to base," Sideswipe replied into his comlink.
"Is it ready?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"Oh yeah. Ladies, allow me to present 'The Menasor."
The CQC expert revealed his creation; a giant ice cream sundae with six scoops of different flavors smothered with thick chocolate sauce and huge cherry on top. Pinkie was fighting every single fiber in her being not to dive into the frozen treat.
"I know what you're thinking and believe me, this one you don't want to eat."
"Okay, what does it do?" Pinkie added.
"You'll find out. Trust me, it's gonna be quite a sight."
(WARNING: THE FOLLOWING PRANK IS HIGHLY DANGEROUS AND IS ONLY MEANT TO BE USED IN WORKS OF FICTION. DO NOT, REPEAT, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ATTEMPT THIS IN REAL LIFE.)
---
The griffin landed just outside the bakery she had been to not 20 minutes ago. She saw Pinkie at the counter and walked up.
"I'm here for the Menasor."
"Okie dokie lokie."
She looked in the back then serenely and calmly said:
"ONE MENASOR, UP FRONT!"
Not five minutes later, a familiar yellow unicorn came out carrying the largest ice cream sundae Gilda had ever seen. After setting it down at an open table, Gilda quickly snatched and ate the cherry in one bite. However, it suddenly felt as if she swallowed a pint of lava.
"You feel that hot, burning sensation down your throat?" a silver unicorn said from the kitchen door, "That's because I put enough Capsaicin in that cherry to rival a Trinidad Moruga Scorpion pepper."
She then grabbed the spoon and proceeded to shovel the dish into her mouth in order to extinguish the burning sensation.
---
Lancewing (Blue and White Anthro Wolf): Time for some Fun Facts.
Azure Dragon of the East (Blue Anthro Dragon): And we will be explaining the substance Capsaicin.
Lancewing: Capsaicin is an active chemical found in most species of peppers belonging to the Capsicum family. It's mainly responsible for giving you that "ZING!" feeling in your mouth whenever you bite into something spicy.
Azure Dragon of the East: How much of it determines how spicy it is and the amount of heat you feel is measure by the Scoville scale.
Lancewing: A good example would be the ever familiar Jalapeno pepper, which has a rating of 8,000 at most.
Azure Dragon of the East: Now, that may seem pretty impressive, right?
Lancewing: Well, it's not. The Trinidad Moruga Scorpion pepper mentioned above has a rating of 2,000,000! That much is found in one other thing: Law Enforcement-grade Pepper Spray. It'll send any aficionado of spicy foods running to mommy.
Azure Dragon of the East: Who says you can't learn anything from fan fiction?
Lancewing: And now you know.
Azure Dragon of the East: And knowing is half the battle.
Chours: G.I. JOOOOEE!
Lancewing: … Seriously?
Azure Dragon of the East: Sorry.
Lancewing: *presses "Play"*
---
After Gilda had finished inhaling the giant frozen dish, she turned to Sideswipe; glaring at his smug face while sweat still ran down her face.
"A spicy cherry, that's your big prank?"
"Nope. The cherry was actually the bait."
The griffon then felt a strong discomfort in her stomach followed by a loud gurgling sound.
"That is real prank."
Gilda then ran out the door.
"Enjoy your surprise-a!" Mirage called out as he and Rarity returned to the shop.
"I don't get it, what just happened?" asked Rainbow Dash.
"I had Bumblebee mix a good amount of Castor oil into the chocolate sauce. Enough that it would become a powerful laxative."
"What's that going to do?"
"The body can't use Capsaicin in any way so it's treated as waste and when it leaves the body, you are going to feel it. Add a laxative to the mix and it is going to go through her quickly. To put bluntly, Rainbow, the worst part for her is not when it's going in…"
The griffin ran through the streets of Ponyville searching for an open restroom. Luck appeared to be on her side when she found a vacant restroom after she ran for two blocks. Without missing a beat, she dashed in and locked the door. Gilda sat down on the porcelain throne and waited for nature to run its course. However, just as it had begun, her eyes shot open wide.
---
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
The griffin's piercing scream of agony echoed throughout the small town.
"It's when it's going out," Sideswipe finished.
The girls winced at that.
"She is-a going to need to sit on ice blocks for a few days."
There was then a sudden shout of "Incoming!"
Daring Do was coming in for a crash landing. Everyone darted out of the way as she dove right into Sugarcube Corner and crashed just before the counter. Everyone looked at their mystery guest.
"Holy Celestia, It's Daring Do!" gushed Rainbow Dash.
"Who?" the two vocal Autobots asked.
"We'll tell you later. Right now, she needs a doctor!" Rarity exclaimed as she rushed to help the fallen mare up.
The three Cybertronian ponies joined in and picked her up and rushed out the door.
---
It was hours later at Ponyville hospital. Daring Do found herself in a bed with her injured hand wrapped in bandages.
"Thanks for the help," she said.
"Ms. Do…" the doctor began.
"It's actually Dr. Do"
"Um… Yes, Dr. Do. Tell me, how did you get this spike in your hand?"
"Oh. That. Well, it's kind of a long story."
"Well we need an explanation as to how it got into your hand in the first place."
"Figures… Anyway, I was ordered by Princess Luna to investigate the site in which a streak of light landed…"
Flashback
Daring Do was struggling to get free from this Grogar character's grasp but the ram's grip was like a vice. He then traced a finger across her jaw as he said:
"It has been a long time since I've had the pleasurable company of a mare…"
She really didn't like the sound of "pleasurable company" if his tone was anything to go by.
"But first I have some questions. First off, who is your ruler?"
"Um, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna."
A glimmer of recognition flashed in the Ram's red eyes. He began to chuckle at this.
"Celestia and Luna? As in the youngest and middle daughters of King Quasar and Queen Borealis? Those little brats?"
This statement confused the Honey-Gold Pegasus.
"King and Queen who?"
"Figures... Anyway, I have a message for you to deliver to them. Tell them that Grogar is back and I will not stop until the last of the Alicorns have fallen."
"Wait, what? No ropes? Sorry, I'm just used to being tied up at some point with something sharp aimed at my head or some other body part."
"Allow me to accommodate you, then."
She then screamed in pain as the demonic ram drove an iron spike through her left palm. The head of it was capped with a bizarre insignia.
"Take that to your 'Princesses' as proof of my return and my eventual victory."
The Pegasus mare glared at the giant ram for his action and his arrogance.
"I'd start moving if I were you. It'd be a waste of me sparing you if you stay here glaring at me until you bleed to death."
Reluctantly agreeing with the ram, Daring Do ran as fast as she could out of the cave and down the mountain.
Flashback End
"And that's how it happened."
The three mares looked at one another then Rarity approached the doctor.
"Excuse me but do you still have the spike that was in her hand?"
"Yes, it's right here," the doctor replied, handing the mare the spike which was now wrapped in cloth.
Rarity thanked the doctor and rejoined the others.
"I'm going to go talk with Spike and see if he can get this to Twilight," she said.
"Okay, Pinkie and I will see if we can find out anything more," Rainbow said to the fashion pony.
While this was going on, Sideswipe, Mirage and Bumblebee had a bad feeling. They felt this before, around the time before the Decepticons began the war. They knew something big was going to happen. The questions though were when and what?
---
A/N: Before anybody raises a stink about the Rambo thing, let me clarify that there is a type of apple known as a Rambo apple. The creator of the John Rambo character got the name from the apple so if there are any similarities between him and this character in the future, don't be surprised; they spoofed everything else, anyway.
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MOAR!
This chapter, I like it. Another!
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkd1jzC3EE1qdhut1o1_400.jpg
MOAR
great story, hope next chapter comes soon
*An insane smile that puts Pinkie's to shame can be seen*
Fucking amazing, just add bloody rainbows and we're set.
3103693
Yep, that is correct.
I love this. Looking forward to more.
This is an incredible story, but I cant help but wonder about the lack of new chapters. Well, I think that the author has his reasons.
when is the next chapter for this coming out I really want to know what happens later in the story.
Please make more!
You gotta make another chapter man, I've been waiting forever!
I support the ship Primlestia if a.) Princess Celestia becomes a Cybertronian ( Autobot ) or b.) Optimus Prime becomes a pony.
Good work
Update
Rest in peace.
that's it?
Waiiit. He used his BARRAGE CANNON, ON A CARRAIGE, MADE OF WOOD? The TF wiki site says that his barrage cannon rounds (Live action movie Optimus) Are PLUTONIUM TIPPED WARHEADS... HE JUST USED A MINI-NUKE ON A WOODEN CARRAIGE. That's Overkill
Possible ending to information part, as they finish explaining capsaicin the NBC logo flies across the screen and the chorus sings "The more you know"
Are you gonna update. I think this is the best.
Will you continue this
3104279
Is this story a lost cause or do you have a case of the writers block?
I think the authors are taking their time.
Last time I'd asked one of them if they'll update the fic soon. He answered they're might considering a rewriting due to how advanced the show has gotten.
Huh.... neat, you learn something new everyday..
8636095
Fear not, the Bots will find a way to deal with that guy.... If only the author could be able to update his fic soon.
I'm literally GS rn XD
"It is said the filies goes to sleep with the light on because of the Boogeyman,
And the Boogeyman goles to sleep with the light con because of Optimus Prime."
....
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
transform and roll out the next chapter you two.
I love this story and look forward to seeing more of it
8990558
Don't worry, it'll get an update soon I'm sure.
Maybe if asking his co - writter Azure how things are going (try to find him in DeviantArt as Azurelong).
i want to see this story grow
I love it please continue
MOAR
Will this ever get a update or is it dead
More please the story is just to good to be dropped like that. Come on I've got a fever and the only prescription is more chapters.
9959131
Only time will tell. Let's be patient and wait if this fic gets an update or not. Actually I'm more interested to see the Dinobots as well in this story - that would be crazy!
9366043
Optimus Prime: Getting every mare's interest without knowing it.
Pardon the rudeness, but how long until we get the next chapter in the storry