• Member Since 27th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen 37 minutes ago

BronyWriter


I write pony words. Millions of them. Some people actually think they might be worth reading. I am very thankful for that. Also, I have a Patreon now?

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Clear. Fly. Fall. Complete. Despite the failures, despite the distractions of Aurora Dawn and Orion, Scootaloo passes her flight test and becomes worthy of the Flock. Torn away from her closest friend, she turns to the only pony in Cloudsdale she has left.

Written for AuroraDawn's Rainbow Factory contest!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 13 )

Man I do admit, your story gives little tugs on the heart string.

Thank you for your entry! We look forward to reading it, and best of luck.

I never read any spin-off stories set in the Rainbow Factory universe, but this story makes me really curious what sort of larger stories there could be to tell in it.

I cleared,
I flew,
I fell,
And I completed

Oh no... Hope we won't hear "Meet new Rainbow Factory Manager: Scootaloo" in the future... *shivers*

I liked this story. I usually like "what if" types of stories, and I think it was a good one. It gave me a huge feels... It was interesting to see and feel Scootaloo's reaction and feelings after she passed the test and now tries to overcome Orion's loss and look like a good member of the Flock in everyone's eyes, when everything around her repeatedly shows her how Pegasi in this universe relate to "failures".
And Rainbow's speech right after Scootaloo asked her about job... that was something.

Good work!

(only strange thing: was third stage of Scootaloo's test ("Fall") skipped by plan or by mistake?)

Once again you out done yourself. I must admit I am curious to know more about the alternate timeline. In any case, Awesome Work! :twilightsmile:

I loved reading more of this story!

"We used to say that rainbows had gold at the end. Maybe the real end of the rainbow is where he is. Every time we see one, we can think of him and imagine how well he's doing."

Wow. You could starch-flatten an entire wardrobe with the irony here.

I like.

Scoots offering to help Rainbow with her job reminds me of a tumblr "ask-blog" I was really fond of in my teenager years about a "success" Scootaloo that works —you guessed it— at The Factory. Not sure how I feel about it now, but link below anyway.
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As noted above, somepony's already been down that road.

I actually started tearing up a little at Scootaloo's rationalization because of the "fourth wall knowledge" we all have. That was painful, and so well done.
Likewise with Rainbow Dash's falling out with the other elements. Only hinted at, but you knew what you were doing with it.

i wonder why no non-pegasi are trying to stop the banishment practice, it seems like it would be more of an issue somewhere so tolerant as equestria

I think this needs either another chapter or a sequel story where Scootaloo ends up working in the factory and maybe even becomes the successor. It would be such a difference from the original sequel where she is some defeated.... I'm not sure what. Prisoner? Ghost? Hallucination? Anyways, just something to think about :twilightsmile:

I like how her friends are trying to deprogram Scootaloo from the brainwashing a bit. The isolation from them is probably deliberate on Cloudsdale's part. They wouldn't want the brainwashing broken after all.

Also the story does feel a bit incomplete. Scootaloo never finds out how the rainbows are made. She never finds out why Rainbow Dash has changed so much, etc.

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