The Master at taking forever to do anything.
my first 2nd person story.
Rated Teen Gore for referencing and some future events.
You are a new colt in town forced to live with Pinkie Pie. You don't want to stay long and don't want friends
Things change though when three fillies find out you don't have a cutie mark.
There are spoilers in the comments, and my other stories. So sue me.
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Now I want some comments here if this goes up. Tell me if you'd rather me make this a first person story since to me while I enjoy 2nd person fics I personally think I'm not too good at them but this would work better as a 2nd person.
A very good start for a fanfic and I can't wait and see how Pinkie will handle the guardian responsibility. I know she took care of Pound and Pumpkin Cake, but this is on a whole other level.
The 2nd chapter and I freaking love it already, I don't care what mistakes are in the fic this chapter compensates it all.
Awesome work in here if I could upvote again I would do it 5 more times.
I have always thougth that Diamond Tiara had a stupid cutie mark! I mean her special talent is to wear a tiara? What good does that do?!
About time someone set them in their place and gave them what they deserved!
Fun Fact: If the ending of this chapter seems abrupt it is because the next chapter and this were supposed to be the same. But I had no way to get to the next scene without a break and realized it was enough word count for a chapter. This will be fixed when complete and edited but for now think of this as the first half of a chapter.
I was expecting a fight between Cog and Scootaloo Family Guy style but oh well, it's your story.
761701
Sorry, idea never passed my mind since I'm not good with comedy. References possible but not comedy.
but since you sparked it....i'll keep that in mind for any future interactions with Scootaloo. since at least by my count if more chapters are not broken up I have 7 more chapters to go at least.
761957 I meant a fight like this one.
761972 okay maybe not on that scale. but considering what I set up this kind of fight is not out of place since Cog is a little kid and would see a certain fight scene I have in the wings like this.
762008 I know, but I'll still think that you will do a great job.
Side note, probably should not have come up with the ending to this chapter while listening to "Here I am" From Spirit.
Like the story so far but the "reflexive code" is kind of a bad excuse to have Cog go against his character. Whatever desire he had to help out should have been driven away because of his trauma with dad. One does not walk that off. If you want Cog to have to be nice, there are other ways to go about it.
796565 not exactly. I guess I'll have to fix this when the story is done and I make the edited/extended cut. But he never ASKS for help much because of his last guardian. In fact I'm trying to make that clear in the next chapter since before the last guardian he had he was genuinely a nice guy. The Dad is actually a cross road of him both enjoying what he does but at the same time hating his father for it and himself for wanting it.
In fact I'm going to take a little more time with the next chapter thinking about things instead of just posting after I'm done to see if I need to add anything since that has to be the point when he realizes this fact. Considering 90 percent of it will be self reflection.
Thanks for the feedback though. I'm going to take that and comments on my other stories into consideration before I start my next one since I feel the next one I do doesn't have as strong a character as these first 3 so I have to make up for it in improved writing.
753122 Eeyup, love how Cog just put those two into their places quickly.
Moar chapters please
1050454
Considering this is the one that can end the easiest and soonest out of all my stories I will comply. Still not sure if I should include filler with him meeting the others of the 6 yet since it's supposed to be about him and Pinkie but cross that after the next chapter which I'll work on after fixing the last one posted.
752881 omg its me this school year. im just gonna more harsh. oh yeah and make sure the main characters father gets what coming to him, i dont make it to easy on him.
please sir, may i have some more?
how the... wha...?
this WAS me in middle school
hey, this is a pretty good story, so don't let it end too quick.
Wow. Poor kid.
not to be a stickler for details but while Cog is in the hospital you describe his pain as "in his ARM" technically, if his injury is on the leg I'm thinking of it would be "in his foreleg".
1056140 trust me in going back over those fixed chapters there was a LOT more of that I had done. It was part of the reason I went back to reedit. I have read fics that still call it an arm for the sake of 2nd person though so I didn't think it was something to change off the bat and didn't think of it at first. I may change it after I make a new chapter to go with it.
fist also great story so far
1073643 right back at ya
Bananas
Wow this story is getting better and better with each chapter I read and it started out very interesting to begin with. Can't wait to see what happens next
Although you have done good job so far, there needs to be multiple levels to which people care for Cog for his new life(unless you're going for tragedy). I hate to say this but so far with what's been shown Cog has a good reason to think the way he does about Pinkie.
Still I think you'll pull it off, good luck.
1090644
Next chap will be the real test if I can make it work.
Still deciding between 2 ways to go with it from here.
739983 please, keep it clean. I am really sick of clop fics. I havnt read it yet but i read the first few comments, so once again, please, no clop. (and regarding the first few comments, wtf who would want filly clop?!)
1102771
Exactly why I was confused. Don't worry about that though. The story used to have a sex tag because of a character history and not in story. Got rid of it after those comments.
1103285 i thank you for not going to places better unseen, and btw, i read the story up to here and just absolutly love it!
(Author’s Note: I wasn’t sure where to go really after the last chapter. I did have the ending set but this is the first in a series of chapters I never planned for in advance. The other option was just having Cog trying to work out things with Pinkie learning to be a good parent. But since I’m not one I felt it was better for some of that to be off camera/panel so to speak. I do have more planned for Pinkie to do to show she’ll be a good parent but this I feel was a decent cop out. Also I put up the draft because my proofreader was so busy with his own writing and the story he signed on for I decided to post this one up so please point out any issues.)
Ok I'll bite is pinkie a prostitute now?
Why... Just why...? God im geeting the feeling shes now prostituting and im now reading with disgust... God its like seeing a a blind deaf kid on a train track and the trains about to hit him, you know whats gunna happen and you cant do anything about it or take your eyes away...
1155054 thank god, and sorry bout that... Just alot of fics i been reading (and a few new ones) started turning a bit dark...
Pinkie's a stripper? IDK.
1175966
Yeah, A hostess, right? Sorry, I get a little confused sometimes
But being a hostess doesn't explain the welts on her neck. I was just all like 'Wat? Welts? I think you mean hickeys' When I read that.
1175978 Then you had the exact reaction I wanted you to have. but I also think it's funnier if you know that she is actually a hostess when the next chapter is all about Cog trying to get Pinkie to confess what her job is. there is an explanation for the welts. and I hope to make is seem just as much Pinkie only as I can.
1175995
Hmm....I KNOW! XD, A hostess for Bachelor/Bachelorette parties?
that song.... oh sweet celestia that song is pure evil.
oh and nurse redheart can eat a dick
1155054
But you can still have serial killer dads?dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_unsuresweetie_flip.png
1257632 it's the rape vs murder argument. which is funny because the dad is both.
short version is since it is Pinkie Pie I can't make her something really dark of her own choice. So for example if she needs to be raped for some reason, that is fine, but if she decided to sell her body to a point she WASN'T having fun all the time doing it, that is not okay.
That's why I don't have her be a prostitute or something, Pinkie would never keep a job she would have a bad time in.
1257717
Depends on smile volume if you ask me, but definitely not this job you're right. I just hope she's ok
This is both a Draft and only part 1. I had nothing else released on any story this week so I put this up.
My editor has this and we do have part 2 done but until it is fully edited I'm not posting that and when I do this part will be edited to reflect it.
comment anything not obvious if you wish so we can keep that in mind to add into part 2. good day to everyone.
it is certainly interesting o.o and i dont know if this is a feeling of fear or sick amusement im getting from the whole situation with pinkie and his history (either way its leaving me feeling rather sad that i cant help either) :(
I really wanna know what was at the bottom though..
Well here you all go. I'm not 100 percent on this chapter but when I finish the story or come back from a possible hiatus in the future I will likely fix it and change it up as I like. Input would be helpful as I think I rushed things too much.
So out with the old arc, in with the new.
But that's the end of this for some time. other stories are a calling.
Cog! Get your shit together bro! Your allowed to have emotions sheesh!
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw7826-262250_144427932366108_1310509861_n.jpg
This one I'm not combining after completing. Unlike before this one can work just fine without the next part to make it seem like a full post. Plus I wanted to get a post out of the way before going back to my newest story, then returning here again before the month is up.