When you were a foal you ended up with front row seats to a momentous event. Unfortunately that same event caused you brain damage enough that to this day you can't keep both your eyes open for long and the one eye that can see perfectly fine is unable to process color anymore.
Freshly broken up with yet another mare you return to the place that cost you your sight with little going for you other than being a weather Pegasus. Your boss as it turns out would be the last pony anypony would expect you to get along with at first. But since she doesn't know and you long since forgave her it should be fine... at least until she decides you're her newest prank victim.
(AN: I'm considering putting Derpy in here but not sure yet. Also after the first few chapters updates will be PAINFULLY slow, at least while I'm working on my other stories. Fav at your own risk)
Just the summarization makes me pissed at Rainbow.
I call four more chapters until Rainbow finds out.
(faves at own risk)
I shall give this try! *faves to read later* Well off to work! Haha
Should be 'Coach'. Also, there should be a comma between 'Besides' and 'like'.
Again, there should be a comma between 'Besides' and 'I'.
Should be 'propose'
Something seems a bit off with the way you worded this sentence. I get what you were trying to say, but the way you put it seems a bit weird. Perhaps try something along the lines of, "The hum of your wings grew louder and louder, and the wind swept by quicker, as you tried to increase your altitude."
Should be "an odd-looking ball". And since this ball is already moving, the second highlighted statement should be changed to "was going."
Since "eyes" is the plural form, change "it" to "they".
I demand MOAR.
Maybe about 20.... 30.... ish.
2293197
Thank ya kindly. Especially the Purpose part. Would never have thought to look into that without a spell check since grammar is more of a weakness for me.
With a message like that, it makes it a real turn off to really even read the fic. Fav at your own risk. Not the kind of message you should broadcast mate. I was interested when I initially read the summary, that is until I saw that note, and then the story length. I think I'll put a read later for this one and come back to it when you have more done. Peace!
Is it just me or are there a mass of references in this chapter?
2294354 I kinda figured I had too. My followers know that although right now it reads I have 7 stories, two of which are cancelled, I actually have another 5 I just deleted off the site due to how long it takes to update without such a posting.
When I pay attention to a story it gets updated between weekly and monthy, but when I don't it could be well over six months.
I just didn't want readers to really like this like the flutterdash thing I wrote, only for me to stop for 3 months, post a chapter that did nothing to further the plot and then delete it because it would be another 3 months till the next update.
the line is there more for me so i don't feel bad about followers who stick around because at least I warned them before hand that it would be so and thus I'm not compelled to cut it off completely.
2294428 pretty accidental if it is, I'm so used to writing my main 2nd person where I actually named that OC's pet Waspinator and recently made a Rise of the Guardian's mention with references to other stuff that I sort of barely notice when I make ones to the show anymore.
Nice
2294833
Well I accidently put a Dishonoured reference in so...
2292455 Ok now your creeping me out. Reading that same stuff I read or plan to read.
2295189 Heh, I love to read so I'm always on the prowl for good or new fanfics; 1,417 favourites so far. It should say something about me haha.
2295212 Well considering I have stories to read and time to kill we pretty much like the same stuff.
Liking this alot... love 2nd person stories and cant wait for chapter 3
i dont know what it is about disability fics they just give me really deep feelings and its fun
aw hell, i predict rainbow dash seriously kicking herself if she ever figures it all out.
This is a brillent premise. I can't wait to start reading!
I know another fic that has a similar name.
Except the guy who wrote it sucks.
You are better at writing.
And he is completely jealous. :3
Rainbow Dash is gunna feel like shit when he tells her about his 'condition' and how it was caused.
Just thought I'd help by pointing that out for you.
2297124 Katawa Shoujo up in this bitch.
2306119 please don't remind me about that game. First time through I got Emi so it was the really really awkward scene in the shed that I cannot unread.
2306119
No) 
Played it... passed it... replayed it... done every route... (except kenjis cos...
I'm good either way honestly, chunky means more story but more time, while the opposite holds true for short bits...
Im still waiting, waiting for the moment that Rainbow finds out that she did this to him; his condition I mean.
2310380
I get the feeling that's not going to happen for a while, still
2310588>>2310380
That's the original plan, but Morfonious knows already how well I actually keep to that. For all I know I may just find a way to make it more interesting to have her find out next chapter. Just depends on what is best for the scene and right now there just isn't a reason Rainbow should know or even look too far into it until she's closer friends with "you" than she is now.
Other than this sentence, there was nothing cringe worthy in this chapter. Keep 'em comin' fresh and hot, like a Cinnamon Bun.
I just can't wait until RD finds out what happened to his eye.
well, this is getting interesting, Rainbow is going to be so guilty when she learns she caused the eye condition.
Eyeshield ftw
2327482
This has already been said a few times... I think we all know.
Well, then there should be a pegasus flying in freeflow, just like Panther.
2340653
Actually, I figured by now some of the readers would have figured out WHY "you" fly like that. But I guess I have to make it a bit more blatant in the next chapter when I figure out a slight hump about where to go with it.
2341945
Flying in an Eyeshield-esque manner is a good way to fly, but it's not exactly great in turning. You know, all those straight lines and sharp turns. And imagine all the g forces.
It's not that I have something with "me" flying that way, as it is reasonable and within the confines of cartoon and (possibly) real physics. Putting physics (kinetics, flight dynamics) into the mix, maybe flying at very high speeds renders pegasi unable to bank efficiently.
I'll live with this.
Keep up the good work.
2345901
Not exactly, I was hoping to have it out sooner but I don't have it done yet so it will take time. The short answer is that "You" suck compared to other Pegasi at turning because your so fast in a straight line. The reason Rainbow and Lightning can turn better despite being even faster than you is because of those pain meds I alluded to twice before.
So in a way "you" are more prone to G force since Pegasus wings are magical.
2346188
Those flipping meds mess up everything.
See ya then, this chapter is excellent cliffhanger :P
This is interesting. Continue.
The drug situation kinda reminds me of House.
Keep on going.
well.........next chapter won't be fun.But it'll be funny to me.
That's cool.
Yep, this one is waaay better. I like the ending.
Hm. It will be very dramatic when Rainbow learns she caused our eye problem.
The beginning paragraph really confused me. I'm guessing it's the memory of what happened after he got brain damaged. Also, he kissed RD? Or did RD kiss him? Meh, I can't remember. Know why? 'Cause I actually cracked my skull open when I was either 10 or 8. Can't remember. I wonder what that means.
2583346 it seemed that RD kissed him
Well, okay then....
I don't remember what issues the eyes have anymore. Is he blind? Does he see black and white? Is one eye the veteran of a BlendTec blender?