• Member Since 10th May, 2018
  • offline last seen April 15th

DmitriTheWriter


Come in, and experience a world of bewilderment!

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For thousands of years, many have yearned to outpizza the Hut. Many have died in pursuit of this goal, and many more have gone mad.

Rainbow Dash may be the one to finally do it.


Now has a reading by StraightToThePointStudio


Now has another reading by TheMajorTechie

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 51 )

... What the actual f**k are you overdosing on? And can I have some?

A delicious crackfic. Well done.

I feel even sadder that I just can’t eat Pizza Hut’s mozzarella. :raritydespair:

(P.S.: I love this, hope it gets featured like the masterpiece it is.)

Regular show seems to be something you based it on. Good job
pbs.twimg.com/media/BGZouQjCMAI_VE9?format=jpg&name=900x900

Dash should've avoided the noid.

Amazing crackfic, it may even outpizza the Hut.

Don’t tell them I said that.

If I was drinking anything when I read this story I would have likely drowned my poor phone lol XD. :rainbowlaugh:

Tune in next time for the sequel: "Nobody Out-Hutts Pizza the Hutt."

Hilarious, Just hilarious.

TheFrozenWarrior1, 5th June 2021

So, Rainbow Dash, a pony who definitely can't cook, makes better pizza than Pizza Hut.

I find absolutely no inaccuracies whatever in this highly important historical narrative.

10847452
Gah, someone beat me to it.

10847919 Well, after her house got bulldozed, Dashie could probably use a hut.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

I- I don't believe it!

This got the first laugh out of me in months, and I don't mean a lol, but an actual belly laugh!

This was absolutely amazing crack, thank you for publishing this story!

Pizza Hut: We will have our revenge!

Chrysalis: Get in line rookies.

Tirek: We got first dibs on getting revenge on ponykind.

:rainbowlaugh: Where's the Happy Meal?
:facehoof:
:moustache: After the Equestrian Franchise Wars every thing was named Taco Bell
:raritystarry: Why is Spike wearing my mothers tacky couch cover?
:rainbowhuh: Where's my toy surprise?

"Ok but can you stuff an entire pizza into the crust OF A PIZZA!?"
:rainbowdetermined2: "Twilight..."
:facehoof: "I'm on it"

will there be a sequal where the Hutts come in to punish rainbow dash for out Hut'in their earth franchise

10848753 I see that you are a man of culture!

Before he was even finished screaming, his body collapsed itself into a single point in space and then vanished from the physical plane.

Ya know, the same thing happened when I only ate one Pringle and then closed the can.

This is so stupid. Take my like and fave XD

Out pizza the hut... bunko who?
Are you fucking insane?

Dumb, fun but dumb.

Now you just need to figure out a way to get rid of The Noid.

Twilight has good taste in pizza.

How to out pizza the hut: go to almost any pizzaria in New Jersey and New York that isn't one of those large franchise chains. Leave it to the professionals.

Pizza hut employee: STOP! You cannot outpizza the hut!
Tony of Tony's pizzeria: Hey Joey, take your bat and turn this mook's face into bolegnese.

Now this fic is able to Outpizza The Hut any day at any time with how amazing this is! This crackfic is just such a good read and so many laughs are to be had with this! Hope ya didn't mind, but I simply had to make a reading of this pizza-y fic!

Audio Linkyloo!: https://youtu.be/uJLXwzMYFIw

(I don't mean to offend anyone with this comment in any way!)

10851263
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

This is the first time one of my fics has gotten a reading! I absolutely do not mind, thank you so much! I may not be able to view it yet on account of being broke, but I'm sure it'll be great when it premieres on Youtube!

10849580
this but its usually tendrils of darkness clawing out of the shadows until you eat another pringle

Lou Malnati's outpizzas the Hut

This kind of stupidity is perfect for coming down from heavy fics.

This is such pure chaotic gold.

what did i just read

Completely accurate. The Hut is easily out-pizza’d once you can evade their slogan enforcement corps. It’s why they’re so well-trained and well-armed.

Wow. This story is so random... I am surprised that my computer didn't explode when I downloaded it.

i got a google form thingy sayin' you want ur stuff read

have my auditory garbage :V

This is the best shit I read since Burt stopped writing

Wish I was that good

10850494
I think imma write that

10941984
EEEEEEEEEE

I had completely forgotten that I even did that. Thank you so much for reading my story! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

This story is hilarious. Like the idea of pizza hut trying that hard to keep you from out pizzaing the hut. Also love that Rainbow Dash is the one to try it. Anyway enjoyed it.

Achievement unlocked: Outpizza the Hut
Description: Create and cook a perfect pizza without getting interrupted by other people
Reward: Two bits, a popsicle, and a very delicious and well-cooked pizza :rainbowdetermined2: :pinkiehappy: :twilightsmile:

I re-read this, and have decided to build a DnD character based off of this concept.
So far, I'm thinking Paladin, whose sole goal is to out-pizza the devils who traded Pizzas for the lives of everyone in his village. However, these devils have a monopoly on the Pizza industry, and they will do anything to maintain their grasp on it.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This was dumb…
HAVE MY FAV!

Rainbow Dash quickly ran out of cupcakes to throw, and the croissants and danishes wouldn’t last much longer at the rate she was throwing them.

You need a different job to prevent this from happening to you:

Sometimes, I indulge my stupid ideas way too much.

Nah, it's perfectly fine!

Good story!
I enjoyed reading it.

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