Ditzy Do(o) and the Temple of Tlaloc

The Tenochtitlan Basin is not the safest place to be in the best of times. That's why the world's greatest adventurer Ditzy Doo always carries her towel with her, just in case. But when her sister, the hapless postmare Daring Do, disappears on a trip through the Basin, and the world is on the brink of annihilation, it's up to Ditzy Doo to save the day.

An entry for Reunions: A Swapped Role Writing Contest

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 5 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 5
- Newest First
- Oldest First

bahatumay

bahatumay #1 · Jun 30th, 2021 · 1 · ·

"Agh! This muffin is made of ow!"
Probably my favorite line I’ve read today.

Kaze_of_Griffonstone

Kaze_of_Griffonstone #2 · Jun 30th, 2021 · 2 · ·

Incredible. Meeting all the criteria for the contest and still being a fun adventure featuring best pony. I wish you all the luck in the judging.

Shilic

Shilic #3 · Jul 1st, 2021 · 2 · ·

Of course Derpy's the worlds best adventurer, she remembered to bring her towel! She's on hoopy frood, to be sure.

RDT

RDT #4 · Jul 14th, 2021 · 2 · ·

Hello, I am one of the judges for the Reunions Swapped Roles contest, and I'm going to share the scores that I gave this story along with the comments. Note that I was just one of three judges, so these comments do NOT reflect what the other judges thought of the story.

Quality 3 / 5

D’aww. Silly pony gets herself in and out of situations with perfect cartoon logic.

Grammar is mostly good. Fourth wall breaks are fun.

It’s a story which doesn’t take itself too seriously, which I can appreciate, but I feel like it could have been more daring in introducing more and more absurd situations in the end (instead of sticking so closely to the canonical order of events).

Roleswap originality/utilization 3 / 5

Ditzy’s personality is stereotypical, but that’s to be expected for a non-serious comedy story like this. The way she deals with each obstacle is in character and fits with the story.

That said, all of these felt like pretty surface-level developments. I would have liked to see more character development for Ditzy Doo.

Daring plays a very minor role here, so there’s not much to say about her other than that she wasn’t out of character.

Prompt utilization 1 / 3

There’s not much exploration of reunions in this story. Yes, they do reunite, but you don’t talk much about it. Doesn’t hurt the story in any way, but it does count against the scoring.

Anonkris