The Mustang is a powerful warrior, who was created to protect Equestria. It is said he can travel through different worlds stopping evils in any dimension. Unfortunately, the power of The Mustang was lost to a different universe a long time ago, right before the outbreak of Nightmare Moon. That's where I come in...
A little to fast paced and also have some mistakes but otherwise good. And just to clarify, I have bad grammer so I can't spot all the mistakes. And A Watch to keep it going.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know a 'Twilight Sparkle.'" (O_O) The plot thickens...
All I can really say at this point is find a proof-reader. I saw a few problems with puncuation, spacing, and some of what you said would be better in italics. Other than that, meh. To each his own. Let's see where you go wit dis. (However I will add at this point it's all very...confusing. Yes, that's the word)
I love the concept, but yes, its a little fast, you should try slowing it down a notch in the next chapter
I'll make sure to slow it down and I think it's fixed
P.S. this is the first time I wrote anything for fun
I would like to know if you guys want this to have romance or not.If so,then who?
... With the clearly non-existent editor. :3. Also. FIRST! (Author comments don't count! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra_smile.png )
This chapter took 8 hours to write, and I got 5,000 words from it? Awesome!
1381143
Now keep doing that and you get alot of happy people:D
1390571 I would, but I've got a football game to go to, and I don't think the people in marching band would like that.
Interesting, thought you would make him an alicorn. Thats what everyone else does.
But do continue really enjoying your writing style.
And do try to make the chapters as long as this one.
1438366 If they were all this long, I'd probably get sick from sleep deprivation.
that was great
1439743 Thanks. Did you see the references?
1272933>>1272986>>1273004 For your sakes, I have rewritten the whole chapter. Read it now!
1485064
I has read it. Tis much more appealing. Good fer you!
1487615 Thank you.
I didn't remember ever reading this, but now I do
You did well to fix it up!
1500710 Tank you
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Applejack_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png
1695890 Is that because they're human? Or I'm referencing a game?
1696920 you're refferencing a game?
1702619
Yes, Skyrim
1702637
1702782
Yeah, next chapter I'm going to include everyone's favorite shout.
1702798
[youtube=0yv4BFfWoro]
this?
1702881
Maaaaybe
Love it
1709466
Thank you
Keep it up.
1833465
I'll do my best with an iPod
1833850 Add some zap!WITH A CAPITAL Z!
Might as well check out who is the one replying to my comments on slenderman.
1865525
Thank you very much
1865549 Too bad I still have to finish one story but after that I'll try to read the other 3 chapters in this story, in the meantime have my mustache
1865566
Again, thank you very much
A skyrim MLP omniscient-character human crossover? I approve. Nice story.
1914287
Thanks
I think you should stop actively using links in sentences. Instead of
you should use
and link "a glare". But that's just personal opinion.
1920306
Will fix
Apple bucking
1928755
What about it?
1928755
What about it?
1931027 you said a "vote" thats my vote Apple Bucking season
1933198
Thanks for voting then!
I shall vote "Griffin the brush-off".
Btw great fic.
1964417
Thanks, and thank you for the vote
Hey look! I finally got round to reading this!
I'm liking it so far, gonna keep reading. In the meantime you can have an upvote, a favourite... and one of these things -->
1981983
Thank you very much
1964417 add mine vote to "Griffin the brush-off"
I vote for Griffon The Brush-Off. Show Gilda who's boss!