This story is a sequel to Pamasak-Butas
Garlan, local Manila street food vendor and griffon, sells his wares well into the Christmas season. As December nears, he receives a last-minute letter from his brother Gary: he's coming to Earth along with a couple cousins to spend some Christmas bonding time with Garlan and the family.
With no choice but to accommodate Gary's antics, Garlan puts up with the visit. Perhaps something can be gained from it somehow.
+ A six-chapter fic. Updates every two to one days. Reading of Pamasak-Butas is unnecessary for this story.
+ Thanks to: Beardman for providing a working outline for the idea, Venerable Ro and KorenCZ11 for pre-reading.
Chapters (6)
Says the guy who has his brother on ignore.
A very interesting tale you have set up here. Looking forward to more.
10419527
"...first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." First thing that came to mind.
And thanks for your interest! I aim to not disappoint!
10419527 A total lack of logical consistency is not strictly a human trait. I'm afraid it's going to be a trademark of sapient life wherever we find it.
I'm going to want to punch Garlan before this is over, aren't I? Strictly no-nonsense, money-focused, and fairly stingy with the goodwill and optimism... Yeah, he's bugging me so far.
Its almost too obvious to point out, but our birdy boy really hasn’t changed since his first appearance. We do get to see the first scene play out from his perspective instead of Macario’s though. There’s even an understated establishment thay they’re firmer friends now, since Garlan addresses Macario by the same nickname the latter’s friends used last fic.
This line caught me off guard, since the Garlan from Pamasak-Butas seemed so young and aloof. Then again, Macario’s mention of college reunions indicate some time has passed. But for me, Garlan being a married father is still a surprising revelation. How fitting for a character whose initial depiction was all about emotional projection.
Blatant foreshadowing is blatant. I guarantee Garlan’s contentment gets tested before this fic is done with him.
Meeting Garlan’s family further plays up his softer side we hadn’t seen (or even imagined) in the last fic. I like his plainspoken advice to his son to “not bully anyone.” Nice subtle acknowledgment that griffons are capable of mauling humans.
We get a prompt rollback to Garlan’s icy affect once he receives his brother’s letter, though. I like the cautiously optimistic slideshow of Griffonstone’s repairs, with emotionally neutral descriptions giving the reader creeping hope that Garlan might approve of it. Then the following paragraph starts with “Garlan almost scratched the phone with contempt.”
Our protagonist is toting some mysterious emotional baggage, which will hopefully get unzipped and emptied by fic’s end. He’s frugal with his emotions, his money, and his positive opinions of others. He’s not a malicious person, but unlike Macario, he doesn’t seem like the type to pause and self-reflect. This fic is going to get ugly before it gets pretty.
I myself always struggle with crafting good similes. But I recognize a good one when I see it.
No need for a few scenes of buildup or extended paragraphs of Garlan stewing in anticipation. Just drop the dreaded brother right in at the chapter’s start. You know what the readers are all here for.
Emotional projection. Garlan stories are rife with it.
These passages are pitch perfect Garlan. Always needs a pragmatic justification for doing something sentimental.
The embarrassing cubhood stories and the innocent exchange about credit cards confirm that Gary is guiless, earnest, and starry-eyed. I don’t think he’s necessarily stupid, but for a tight-fisted cynic like Garlan, optimism is functionally the same as idiocy. Garlan is shaping up to be the antagonist of his own story.
I like the intentional hard cut from the church conversation (with its high minded topics) to the literal bloodsport of cockfighting. Life is varied in Manila, but go figure he’s apathetic towards all of it.
I was going to say Gerry, Geronimo, and Gladys were basically nonentities in this chapter, but they do each get their moments in the mall scene.
Industrial fumes are getting lots of narrative attention in this fic. Could just be imagery of the setting, but could also hint at Gary or another getting ill later on. Will keep this observation on the mental backburner.
Obligatory Flurry Time shoutout.
Gary’s ending musings about bombs, tenacity and ‘everyone else remembering their whys’, does brook introspection. So of course Garlan shrugs off the “ambitious fantasies.” There will be a culmination to this passive battle of wills. No rush to get there.
The translation of this chapter’s title was “Courage.” Strapped in and braced.
Mental note: never read your fics when I’m hungry. Your talent for describing food is maddening.
A comment on Gary’s slovenliness, or a sympathetic detail that shows he needs Liquid Courage? Depends how charitable you’re feeling. We know where Garlan sits, but the reader is less certain.
Gary’s appeal for Garlan to come home hinges on “sentimentality,” which Garlan of course dismisses directly. I think the most cutting line is “all the good griffs leave” followed closely by “we hoarded ninety-five percent of it.” Most cutting, but not most profound. That honor goes to:
There we go. The closest Garlan will get to sincerity. He’s in his safest place, at home, surrounded by appreciative friends, and working his cart. Its where Garlan is his truest self, and in an offclaw comment he confesses he’s all too aware of his own flaws. And because he blames his birthplace for them, he can’t bring himself to go back there. Its genuinely brilliant character work, made all the more poignant for how quickly the confession is passed by and forgotten. Even by Garlan himself.
All we can hope is that whatever happens, whether he ends up staying on Earth or returning home, the visit he acquiesces to eases his hardened heart a little. Again, I have to praise your ability to make a defiantly misanthropic main character someone we wholeheartedly root for.
So drunk that not only did he forget Garlan’s birthday, he forgot that griffons hatch from eggs and therefore aren’t actually born.
I like how quiet this chapter is. With Gary’s departure, Garlan is left to keep his claws busy cleaning and mind busy reflecting. This is the longest, realest look we’ve gotten into how he thinks and feels. My favorite detail was his quiet pride in being a “pioneer, a griffon making bits ina place no other griffon had done so.” He has a bit of that starry-eyed aspiration his brother does. Its just directed toward the future instead of the past.
Ginger’s mention of language was surprising. It had been my assumption that Ponish, English, and Tagalog were all unified for the sake of story streamlining. Ginger admits she “doesn’t speak a lick” of Earth language, so she must be very lonely indeed. Those four visiting relatives gave her the most conversation she’s had in who knows how many years.
Speaking as someone who also owns zero property, yeah. This line connects.
Pleased to report that this reveal hits the reader just as off-guard as it caught Garlan. Griffons wear brave faces and trust others to be brave too. But everyone has a breaking point. And we leave Garlan chewing on the side effects of his admittedly noble goal of maintaining a stable life for his family.
I appreciate how much trust this chapter’s opening has for the reader. There’s no emotion in the descriptions of Garlan “calling others out,” observing his married couple of customers, or staring after the schoolchildren across the road. The opposite actually; the narration says “everything became mechanical.”
Then comes the first italicized flashback, where emotions are out in full force. We see Garlan’s usual cynical shtick, but with more anger than apathy, given the line “Could be going insane now, surviving as the only sane griffon left in this pigsty.” The flashback ends however, with the five fledgling customers he got. On the surface level, Garlan is remembering a happier memory of Griffonstone, showing that his hometown is pulling him back. But on a deeper level, its relevant that the group of buyers are young, eager to pool their funds for a group purchase, and most importantly, happy to hang around afterwards. Garlan remembers this moment because its evidence that Gary is right about Griffonstone. The town is indeed salvageable, but the older residents need to be there as guiding role models. There’s even a numbers game aspect, with the five fledglings in the flashback outnumbering the four members of Garlan’s family here on Earth.
From there, money becomes a stand-in for Garlan’s resolve. He refuses to swindle the woman when given the opportunity and he forgets where he left off counting after Gary appeals to him in the second flashback. I personally think the scene with the priest was too on-the-nose, but immediately after the talk of faith and miracles comes the line “it would take a miracle for him to return.” Clever.
My last fic had what, six ponified rock band names? This singular pun is better than all of those combined. Especially with the chaser of Garlan giving Ginger a “peck on the cheek.”
If we ever end up doing that collab you were toying with, this chapter will be my bookmarked reference for Garlan. Its an impressively robust character showcase. Eventful and varied enough to be vignette all on its own.
A random thought occurs: Equestrians don’t wear clothes, so luggage must be pleasantly light for them. Toiletries, sunhats… that’s probably it.
See what I said back in chapter two: Garlan likes pragmatic justifications for making sentimental choices. The key difference between this chapter and the early ones is he’s relaxed instead of begrudging.
This sendoff chapter hits all the needed beats. Parting encouragement from Macario, jet lag giving way to wonder for the kids, and it only dawned on me halfway through the descriptions of Equestria that this is the first time I’ve seen the place depicted in one of your fics (give or take [url=one old Snippet where Limestone meets her time traveling younger self. Your descriptions of settings are second only to your descriptions of food. I especially liked the “seapony pranksters” splashing the boat, since it highlighted Equus’s mood of playful wonder.
Griffons of course, live outside of the fun places.The mood gets less kiddish and more resolute when Griffonstone looms, and we get the appropriate role reversal of Ginger feeling cold feet and Garlan assuring her its just nerves. Really shows their respective character growth over the fic’s development. Gary himself is the same as he ever was, but his reintroduction as a fistfighter reassures us that he has plenty of gumption to back up his softhearted dreams.
Really, ‘reassurance’ is a good encapsulation of this entire fic. Every relevant character gets a much-needed helping of it in their own ways. The reader does too, because even though the story cuts off right before the festival gets underway, we didn’t need to see it actually happen. Faith in the future is lesson learned. Very nice fic. Very nice indeed.
I'm not sure how to feel about Gary. He reminds me of relatives in my own family in Mindanao and Luzon. But I feel sorry for him because he clearly loves his brother and yet Garlan seems... Garlan.
I had to prevent myself from crying ugly. This was an emotional chapter, and so were many others before this one. I hope it turns out well for Garlan and his family. But, anyway, this is a good fic and I'm happy to have read it. It wrenches at the heart in a good way. As a Filipino, it really touches on family and home. Somehow, I can see griffons as I see fellow Filipinos.