Those who do not study history are doomed to repeat it. Those who do study history are doomed to watch other people repeat it.
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King Guto embarks on a perilous quest to seize an artifact which may hold the key to reclaiming Griffonstone's greatness. But when a mysterious hermit offers another choice, Guto faces his greatest test as King. Griffonstone's fate is in his talons.
Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns Contest II.
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Oh God, his people don't know how lucky they are for that
Heck yes! Been waiting to see your entry.
9933306
Hopefully it lives up to your expectations.
Definitely true.
I'm getting a strong Gandalf vibe from Ashmane. An enigmatic unicorn who knows what he shouldn't and talks of his rebirth? Guto definitely made a wise choice here. We'll see what comes of it. Looking forward to finding out.
For a moment I thought this was called "The Last Knight" lol
Ah, of course. Ashmane is Optimus Prime.
Wait...
A tragedy indeed. Brought down by the failings of his people and himself, dooming the kingdom in the process. For a time, anyway. Virtue shone through at the last.
Brilliant work throughout. There really never was any hope. How do you stop a foe with reinforcements in every breath of air? Thank you for a fantastic read, and best of luck in the judging.
(Also, a coveted Fan that draws forth questors and sends them to their doom... I can't but suspect this might be a metaphor for the contest. Or maybe I'm just reading way too deep.
)
Interesting premise... [click]
9935047
9935071
Thank you. Yeah, folks really should listen to the cryptic old guy who has no reason to lie to you.
As to that Fan... you know... in hindsight... I can definitely see how it could be interpreted that way, and I almost wish it had been deliberate.
Were I judging the contest, and not throwing my own hat into the ring, this would easily be in the top three, if not the winner. You've absolutely nailed the tone of an ancient fable, like Icarus or Pandora.
9937455
Thank you. Making it a fable was my intent, and I'm pleased to have carried it off. I was heavily influenced by about 90% of Greek tragedies (where the great sin is Pride/Hubris) and by the Fisher King (albeit with an empty idol instead of a Holy Grail and a much darker ending).
Fable
A gripping story from start to finish. It was an interesting experience—given that we already know the fate of Griffonstone—to watch the tragedy unfold, hoping against hope that Guto might understand. And in the end, I suppose he did. But it makes me wonder how Griffonstone would've turned out if he'd heeded Ashmane's portents sooner. Then, given the nature of griffons, there was never really any hope of that, was there?
Brilliant work throughout. Thanks for writing it!
9940166
Thank you kindly. This story was fun for me to write, and I'm glad people have enjoyed it.
As to Guto and the griffons, I think there was always hope. It just would have been a grind. Ashmane suggested that it would require the king and his followers to lay down their lives (perhaps not literally, but in the self-sacrificial sense) to show a better path. This sort of shift has historically happened (e.g. the rise of the hybrid Frankish-Roman kingdom via Clovis). It likely would have taken several generations for his followers to be anything but the minority, but it could have worked. The king of a country in days of yore had tremendous power to set the tone for how his people would live, for good or ill. It's the concept of the 'father of a nation.' The sins of the father, or the virtues, affect the path of the children.
But then, playing the 'what if' game is always filled with uncertainties even in real life. Who can say how it would have played out?
There I go rambling, though. Again, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
It is always sad to see a civilization rot, poisoned by the deadly sin of avarice.
Wind golems? Nasty, nasty business that, can't fight them at all on their own ground. Anything capable of breaking through that mess has little need at all for an enchanted fan. The only thing I can really think of would be stone or metal golems, or perhaps a sufficiently ancient dragon, climbing the mountaintop. But such an investment, by that point you'd be trying to drag an army's worth of creatures through Equestria, and that wouldn't go unnoticed.
Such a fascinating puzzle.
9949388
And if you had that kind of army, why bother getting the Fan? Yeah, when they put the Fan away, they did so rather... emphatically.
This was a gripping read. I like the balance of what was certain and what wasn’t—we know from the show that Griffonstone falls from grace, so we know that the expedition is doomed to some kind of failure, but we don’t know necessarily what sort of failure, so there’s still a degree of tension.
The griffon princes, I really like for being effective uses of fairly flat characters. I didn’t feel like they had much to them beyond what was shown in that first paragraph of them bickering, but seeing how they impacted Guto’s decisions made them interesting regardless.
This was super cool, and I wish more people wrote tragedies like this.
9957613
Thank you kindly. I tried to emulate the classical structure of the tragedy, wherein the end is known, the supporting players are often flat, and the tension lies in seeing how the pieces fit together. I'm glad that came across.
Very intriguing, excellent writing.
"I am the voice of one crying out in the wilderness, prepare the way of the Lord! Make straight his paths!"
I should have read this sooner, it makes for a perfect Advent reflection. Simply marvelous my friend.
This needs more views.
Once I started I could not stop, the story held my attention that well.
As with everything that you have written, this was an enriching experience. Thank you and God bless!
9985407
Being that it is currently Advent, I would say the timing is perfect.
9985487
Danke and likewise.
A wonderfully serious piece. Thank you for sharing.
10005800
Thank you for the praise
10005805
You're quite welcome!
What an impressive story Antiquarian. This telling of lust for wealth and power. Most today and of old are only after that, but is possible to gain wealth and praise by giving all that you have just as Ashmane had explained.
In the end he was not wrong in his saying that Gillian's child will help restore Griffinstone.
10009853
Glad you liked it, thanks!
Wonderful tale. Definitely has the feeling of an ancient tragedy.
10013971
Thank you!
I wrote a critique/review of this story. It can be found right over here.
Also, here is a list of all the (minor) typos I found;
10070267
Danke!
Now this is a good tragedy.
Yep, this is definitely intriguing. Ashmane has some secrets. And even if it's annoying that the rest of the griffons are so thoughtless, it's satisfying to have the narrative following one of the two who has a brain.
Wow. Yes, this is truly compelling.
I started off trying to figure out the mystery of who Ashmane might really be. (Stygian?) But as he talks on I'm caring less about who he is and more about what he says. There's wisdom in those words.
This pony is in the true tradition of Biblical prophets. Including having his words ignored by foolish kings.
I had the good fortune to have scrolled such that the paragraph ending "she will bear your wife's name" was at the bottom of my screen, so I was able to pause and make a prediction of Gillian's wife's name, to be confirmed when I scrolled to the next line. Indeed Gilda does not have an easy life, but labouring to spread compassion among the thoughtless is worth it for the final reward.
Back here in the past, we know Guto's choice is foolish - indeed, so does he. We knew from the start his quest was ill-fated: such is the irony of prequels. But we have a cryptic sliver of hope for Gillian, and for one last choice that Guto is going to be offered.
10081911
The original script called for Ashmane to reveal who he truly was, but that ultimately proved to be more of a distraction than an aid. I hint at what sort of pony he used to be at several points along the way, but never explicitly state it. I might go back and make a story of it, but if I don't the original plan was: Ashmane was the last fool to wield the Fan. He was one of a number who sought to conquer Equestria - he repented of his evil before the end, which is why he lived to find redemption when the Sisters defeated the would be conquerors.
10081935
Thank you. I'm glad that tone came through (and glad you got to have that little fortunate name reveal).
The writing, as they say, is upon the wall dear heart
9949033
And stupid.
Like, Celestia is, like, literally right there. And more then likely happy to tell them of her most memorable 512th birthday and how nice the weather was before the chucked the baby and bath water of nature in the slow grinding gears of bureaucratic malfeasance.
10104586
Fear and presumption are the key ingredients to dumb decisions.
10104660
And then there's just... stupid. Like, what, did they think the person that was sitting on the throne was a trick or they grew them like mushrooms? Keeping a politician in the dark and feeding them shit, how apropos
Big oof, Guto. :B
My one question is, should I have picked up on Ashmane's true identity, or is he meant to be a cipher?
10292736
His identity before becoming Ashmane is largely irrelevant beyond the general hint that he used to be lost, perhaps chasing the same sorts of idols and power as the griffons, before he found his true purpose. Thus, he speaks with the authority of one who once was lost but has been found. The original concept called for him to be a lot more specific about the sort of pony he used to be (hint: not a good one), but it proved to be more distracting than helpful, so I left it a mystery. If I ever do a follow-up, I might reveal more, but for now it stands as is.
10292824
Okay. :) Just so long as it's not a puzzle I could have solved in this story.
Saving and Faveing this story. You really have a talent for writing powerful stories without falling into the traps of exaggerated emotions or bloodshed merely for its own sake.
As to Guto...I have a feeling that even if he had given credence to Ashmane's words, his bloody minded and lustful sons would not, and Guto's reign would be brought to an end. It's quite a wonder that the sons had not attempted to bring their armies to Equestria's shores before this story takes place, perhaps they respected their father and liege, but cocks(bird wise) such as they more likely never attempted such things out of fear of Guto's wrath or out of laziness or scorn for the pathetic herbivorous races.
On a final note have you ever read the fanfiction "Before the Storm: The Rise of Firefly"? It has a similar tone in regards to Pony/Griffon relations and the author does a pretty good job of painting a vivid picture of a war with emphasis on the good and evil of both sides.
10810842
Thank you kindly; I'm always happy to see this story get new viewers, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.