Mang Fermin, local Manila street vendor, has died in his sleep. Macario, one of his regular customers, now has to go to work without seeing him and taking a bite of his wares as is tradition. At least there's a new guy with his own food cart, though he's not exactly from around here....
+ A four-chapter story. Daily updates are expected.
+ Pre-read and proofed by Venerable Ro.
+ This is an entry into Admiral Biscuit's Labor Day Challenge/Working Ponies Contest Thing (PoE) bookshelf. Huge thanks to the Biscuit for being the one that pushed me to the edge to write a fic like this.
+ Disclaimer: The photo used and modified in the cover, "[Philippine Day] BBQ", was done and is copyrighted by scion_cho under the CC-BY-2.0 license. Access the original photo here.
Fascinating. This carries a great sense of place, a good balance of explaining things to the reading outsider and the blase attitude that comes from describing your daily life. And that's saying nothing of the drama of some random extradimensional alien taking the place of a beloved pillar of the community. Looking forward to more.
Really intriguing. This caught my attention when the title seemed vaguely familiar to me, but it was only when I was scrolling up again did I catch the description and realize that it had some Filipino elements in it. I was surprised to see something with tagalog in it here in FIMfiction. I'm glad I did. Salamat. Na-enjoy ko basahin ito.
That said, I'm looking forward to more!
9997144
Balancing the worldbuilding and the blasé attitude wasn't that easy. I had to remember two things: Macario wasn't a tour guide, and just letting him narrate his life wouldn't be of much help to non-local readers. I'm glad that it's worked out so far.
9997192
Magandang umaga! It's wonderful to see another Filipino on this site. Warms my heart, really.
I have seen Tagalog on this site once before, but it was used as a magic incantation by Princess Luna, kind of like how Latin words are used as magic words in the Harry Potter series.
At, walang anuman!
Excellent world building. Definitely looking forward to the next chapter.
It was a pleasure to help out with this, I'm glad to see that folk seem to be enjoying themselves!
9997555
Thank you! I hope it'll be fun!
9997711
Yeah. Thanks for the help! It is indeed fun to write a story that other people enjoy. Many stories gave me that joy (or if not joy, then some other great sensation like being thoughtful), and I want to spread it to others by the grace of God.
Huh, a story with Filipino elements. Neat
A story with Filipino stuff? Ooo, interesting. I'm gonna read it soon.
Man, this atmosphere is so interesting. As some commenters have said before, this worldbuilding is absolutely stellar, and I adore how this has been set up. The intrigue and the mood is just so incredibly prevalent that I can't help but have a need to see where this ends, if not so I can continue the journey that's been crafted so far. All that is to say; this is some marvelous work.
9998425
9999174
I'm glad that the novel premise/setting hooked you in!
9999282
Thank you for that. It took me a long time to realize that building up mood and atmosphere in a story was important, and I couldn't just worldbuild by throwing this or that detail here and there. It's good to know that hard work's being paid off.
Macario and Skittles sitting in a tree...!
9999319
I read through what's there and so far it's so emotional! And knowing that I've been to almost all of the places mentioned in this story is something fun! This was such a good read and it makes me wonder of the resolution that's gonna happen in the last chapter.
9999838
Given how jeepney seats are structured, it's him, Skittles, the other two ponies, and everybody else sitting on the tree.
10000605
Thank you for the read so far! With the last chapter finally out, I hope that it will be a good experience for you.
This was a good story to start from, but this last chapter was an interesting treat.
There's something a touch surreal being an American reading a foreign (Philippine) narrator talk to a character that's foreign (Griffon) to them discussing characters (Pony) that are foreign to them. Looking at things with four degrees of separation like that is.. intriguing.
10000827
I take it you don't know the old kids' teasing rhyme then?
I was teasing that I ship Macario and Skittles, despite everything to the contrary.
I'll say this: I'm a bit dismayed by Garlan's pessimism regarding ponies, despite thoroughly empathizing. I can only imagine how Equestria must seem to him after that bit of conversation. And yet, I can't help but wonder if he's also glossed completely over Equestria's history. Especially with what must have been a fairly dramatic crisis in the wake of Nightmare Moon's banishment, I can't help but wonder if maybe Equestria has already been through and recovered from the kind of situation he's used to, and so all he knows is the Equestria that finished clawing its way back long before his existence.
It's easy to forget how people got to where they are when you feel there's great disparity between their and your current situations.
There it is boys and gals. This is where I cry.
Fantastic resolution! I loved it very much! I would love to hear a fanfiction reading of this someday!
10000895
Globalization!
Seriously, though: come to think of it, I've never thought much about the degrees of separation when it comes to reading stories. Or, at least, I don't think about reading/writing stories that way. Maybe it's because I usually don't go beyond two or three: a Filipino reading someone's story, or a Filipino reading someone's story set in a fantasy world complete with its own history and lore.
10001249
Ah, I know of it, but only the first two lines. Didn't know there was more to it! Thank you for sharing the complete lyrics!
I agree. It's a lesson he (and, to be honest, I) must learn.
Still, Garlan may know about that but finds that it doesn't relate to him. The aftermath of Nightmare Moon's banishment was a thousand years ago, and the ponies living today don't have to face the afflictions nor the responsibilities of the ponies suffering said aftermath from long ago. As far as Garlan knows, the ponies of today are just lucky to be born in the right place and at the right time.
10001332
If I'm remembering things right, you're the first one to tell me that one of my stories made a reader cry. That alone warms my heart. Thank you for this, and you're welcome for what I hoped was a good story.
In the book Tom Sawyer, the author says "Work consists of what we are obliged to do, play consists of what we are not obliged to do"
In other words, "Some jobs suck worse than others, but ALL jobs suck. They give you money to do it because you flat out wouldn't do it if they didn't"
10001796
That goes to show a key difference when it comes to the average pony and the average human (and maybe the average griffon) interacting with work. Ponies are likely to enjoy the obligation anyway because it's easy to get paid performing their passion (it helps that Equestria relies heavily on friendship and good bonds), whereas humans have a more down-to-Earth view of work as a way of sustaining one's self, whether it's one's passion or not.
And thank you for spotting those pesky errors! They've been fixed.
I am seriously loving this. How easily you capture the atmosphere of Manila is amazing!
10025461
Thank you! I hope that you'll enjoy the rest of the story.
Finally got down to reading the last chapter. Again, you capture atmosphere so perfectly, and that’s not an easy thing to do. The ending was great - tying up that loose end with Fermin and Garlan that began the story.
I do wish I could see more of this world - which feels so real to me with Manila and jeepneys and street food because they’re all so familiar, but at the same time is so surreal and foreign with ponies in it - but overall I’m very satisfied with how it ended. Nice work! Salamat ulit.
10034492
It's good to know that you've enjoyed the ride. I don't think I'll be coming back to this kind of thing anytime soon considering this was meant to be a self-contained story with no sequel hooks whatsoever, but, sometimes, that's a good thing.
And, walang anuman!
I feel weirdly called out.
I have to love Tart's speech. Somewhere in Equestria, Pinkie Pie shed a single tear and nodded in approval.
Thank you for the mental image of breezie Indiana Jones.
Brilliant work, especially the contrast between ponies and those not endowed with magic butt tattoos. I figured this would end in fishballs, and it did so in a thoroughly satisfying way. Thank you for one of the more unique experiences on the site.
10046827
That wasn't intended as a call-out to you; it was intended to show how optimistic ponies could be to others with the power of social media. (The same goes for Tart but outside social media.) However, now that you pointed it out, it sounds like a succinct summary of you in stories' comment sections.
And, you're welcome, and not just for the breezie Indiana Jones. It's good to know that the work on the story paid off and that such an out-of-the-way fic got good at all. Lastly, thank you for riding the story along.
10001796
Some jobs don't suck. Otherwise, people who are already independently wealthy wouldn't be doing them. And a lucky few people amongst the rest of us would still be doing their jobs even if they were independently wealthy, because they believe in their job's purpose.
10067701
Some jobs have fun aspects but when you HAVE TO do something on a schedule whether you feel like it or not....like I said, that's why they give you money to do it
This site doesn't pay writers, it's a hobby not a job but even so some writers have Ko-fi or Paypal accounts. This site ALSO has a heck of a lot of unfinished stories
9997841
As a fellow Filipino, I gotta say, nice work
This was an excellent read. You paint a super-vivid image of Manila and the everyday life there, the ponies are cute (if also on the verge of annoying), the main character's tension with Garlan makes perfect sense, and the climax of the story does not disappoint. Also, fried fish balls!
Notes taken throughout reading, with a more coherent write-up at the end.
I had to tab out a few times to check whether I was missing anything regarding the bilingual turns of phrase. Pleasantly, I found the story to be written with monolinguals heavily considered. The chapter titles have thematic meanings to them of course, but aren’t strictly necessary to enjoy the subject matter or emotional arc.
I admit I spent much of the first chapter asking myself Where Pony? I’m not accustomed to slice-of-life stories, nor fics that take place in a human world from human perspective. Having finished the story though, I understand the leisurely pace; the presence of Equestrians is a colorful novelty that keeps splashing into our protagonist’s normally gray days. Once things get going with the recurring pony trio and the establishment of Garlan’s food stand, a rhythm settles in that earns the story’s hefty word count. Hefty for my short-story-inclined sensibilities, anyway. Special tangential mention of ponies and United Nations. Reminded me of Supermarine_Spitfire’s AU where Flurry Heart is the perpetually stressed diplomatic liaison between Earth and Equestria.
Of course this is all setup for the inevitable griffon comparison. The reader has their own preconceptions about humanity and this scene establishes how Ponies operate. Griffons however don’t act like either species.
The encounter between the ponies and the protagonist’s younger sister made me realize what the fic is winding to. Macario wants a kindred spirit of his own, and is currently projecting that onto Garlan. Whether the griffon in question will meet expectations remains to be seen.
Again, can’t be sure what’s ‘truth’ and what’s more of Macario’s emotional projection. The constant chickening out of interacting with the griffon is contrasting more and more with the trio of tourist ponies, and the fever pitch can only be permitted to climb so high before its released.
I do very much enjoy the dual worldbuilding going on here, both the trial and error process for vendors and confirmation that non-pupated Changelings try their fortunes on Earth instead of Equestria. I’m proud to say I did already know that Balut was a dish, but I’m a little less proud to disclose that I learned about the food from an episode of The Nutshack. My guess is that show isn’t the Philippines's proudest export. Ah well.
And here we finally hit on the crux of the protagonist’s inner conflict. After ruminating on the safety of routine, he grapples with Garlan being the new routine that has replaced the elderly man Macario used to know. Saying hello to Garlan is the emotional equivalent of saying goodbye to Fermin. That’s the big block in Macario’s mind.
We get one final feelgood pat on the back from the pony trio, and the meta comparisons the reader makes with the inevitable Garlan encounter tip over at the Cutie Mark guessing game. Griffons don’t have Cutie Marks, so this sequence won’t be repeated. But as it happens, we can appreciate the amicability of the ponies.
When a character’s vocabulary fails them, their emotions speak instead. I like this two sentence summary of a restless night.
The last day’s lack of pony trio, worrisome incident of Garlan chasing off a thief, and candid absence of a sick friend from work does a lot to heighten the tension. I don’t generally read slice-of-life stories, but I can tell when the mood is intentionally ‘off.’ The inclement weather from the story’s start even kicks up again, bringing us full circle.
And the long awaited inital interaction with Garlan is… fine. Not eventful, but not disastrous. Macario does get a karmic reward of the pony trio reappearing after he bucks up and finally goes through with the task though. That would normally be enough for closure, but when Macario is left out in the literal rain all alone, Garlan loosens up and lends some small-talk.
Garlan’s “like a ghost” line sums up the entire fic: you never know what innocuous interaction will make or break a person’s day. Friendly chit-chat on a jeep ride, bakery deliveries at office lunch, or a street corner snack vendor whose cart lends regularity to an uncertain chapter of someone's life. I’ve yet to read the sequel, so I don’t know whether our two leads ever become solid pals. For the purposes of this story however, it doesn’t matter. Cario got his closure, and Garlan found someone to confide in.
As far as this fic is from my regular reads, I can still confidently praise its strengths.
It's interesting to see these ponies from the perspective of someone to whom they are merely a pleasant, momentary distraction when compared to the mundane necessities of life.
At the end of the day, a job's a job. The way Skittles talks, if you have a job you don't like, then you can just strap on your job-helmet and launch yourself from the job-cannon straight into a well-paying job which you love.
Not every human is magically attuned with the ability to find fulfilment in their work. Passive income's the dream, but for some people, the best that they can do is try to find something which they're not only good enough at to get paid for doing, day after day, but also something which they can stand to do, day after day.
That being said, I think maybe our protagonist Macario had gotten into a rut with life and Mang Fermin's death and replacement has upset the routine of his life and he might be coming to realize he's not actually content with things. The ponies talking to him each morning probably aren't helping his equanimity either.
The first person perspective was handled very well. It gave a closeness to the story that would have been lacking otherwise.