Sandbar returns to the School of Friendship for his ten-year reunion.
The decade has been kind. From Yona to Ocellus, everyone is getting somewhere in life. But if time brings change, then no one has changed more than Gallus.
Cover Art was done by RedPalette. Many thanks to her and you can find this specific piece here.
Proofread by the handsome RoMS, whose stuff you must check out.
Livereading by WoodeIfNarrator14
Originally written for 2019's Everfree Northwest Iron Author.
Content Warning: Fic features a trans character venting about the trans experience.
Chapters (1)
Mood, girl. Mood.
Kind of predictable, but a nice little story. I can’t help that notice that Ocellus is missing from the end there, though, which means that the irreverent side of me can’t help but imagine...
Ocellus: “I don’t get it.”
To his credit, Sandbar does perform his mental editing quite swiftly once the penny drops. Well, aside from the "Dude"s. To him, the term's practically gender-neutral, but to Gabriella, it has more baggage than Rarity traveling internationally.
I liked this at EFNW and I like it here. Thank you for sharing it.
9985546
😔
9985560
Yeahhhh to be fair with was written in a frenzy over the course of 90 minutes in a Seattle hotel boardroom. As is the nature of Iron Author. Glad you enjoyed it though!
9985591
Oh sweet! I didn't realize you were one of the judges, glad you enjoyed it.
9985593
I wasn't a judge, I just read the things when they became publically available. My short list was basically you and Carabas.
Thank you for sharing this. You shouldn't be forced to be an advocate simply for who you are, but I appreciate you sharing this to inform those of us who wish we didn't have to put this pressure on you.
9985593
I liked it though.
This is a great story and I enjoyed reading it.
9986147
The artists work is fantastic and i'm very glad that they let me tinker with it. Also thank you for the kind words and i'm glad you enjoyed the story!
Glad you got to vent a little bit, but MAN did I relate to Sandbar way too hard here.
I'm not someone who's gonna say being trans or LGBT is "wrong,"far from it, but at the same time, like Sandbar, I can't understand what it's like, and I never will. I think that's why this line through me off a bit.
I know you're venting, and this is something that gets on your nerves, but I couldn't help but read this as condescending. There are people in the world who aren't going to understand you, but treating that inexperience as condescending is something that I don't particularly endorse.
I'm sorry for whatever you went through that led you to write this, and I'm glad you used a creative outlet to express your feelings on it, but I hate how some people treat "not understanding" as immediate disapproval, which comes from one's own paranoia rather than another person. I've never had an experience knowing a trans person, but I do have a gay Uncle, and I was pretty anxious about asking him if he was gay or not. I mean, I HEARD it, but I didn't know the right way to approach the topic with him for fear of upsetting him. In the end, I just worked myself up and asked and we actually had a productive conversation and he and I are actually pretty close now.
My point is that some people aren't going to understand your position in life, and they may say things like "the hormones" because they don't know the proper terminology, but the people that respect you will be the ones that, once they learn that information, they'll remember it and treat you the way you want to be treated.
I'm sorry if I offended you or anything like that. I just need to stand up for what I believe in, and that's polite and civil discourse.
Well done. Pretty heavy stuff, but I'm glad it turned out alright.
The unfortunate fact of this kind of thing is that people without the same problems as you can never directly and fully understand you, but that doesn't mean they can't love and support you. If you think that isn't enough, think about why you feel that way. Why is that not enough? Unconditional love and support should always be enough. Everyone's got shit to deal with. Your shit in particular does not somehow make you less deserving of love.
I have Tourette's. It's really embarrassing and I can't help it. It's totally not fair because I know that people get sick of me, hence why I never stick around in any social group for long (including jobs, so far). I also have several embarrassing memories from school that all are related to it. But I have people who love me anyway despite the weird noises I make, me loudly talking to myself in my room (which is lined with sound insulation), and me twitching violently at times. They don't understand me, and can't, but they try so hard that I can't in good conscience act like that isn't enough.
I know I'm just a dragon avatar with some words on the internet on a My Little Pony fanfiction website's comments, but please don't discard my words. When it comes to people, you might have to dig through garbage to find gold, but that gold is in there, and it's really goddamn shiny. Find it and keep it forever. Surround yourself with it. Like Gabriella.
9986372
In a lot of states in the USA, you can still be fired for being transgender and no other reason. But sure, it's all about celebrating hedonism, eh?
9986372 your bedroom floor is carpeted with semen-stained photographs of Ben Shapiro, isn't it
it's okay, this is a safe place for civil discourse. you can be yourself. (:
9986372
I’m not gonna deny that people like those exist. There will always be people that try to manipulate the situation like that. We can’t just generalize all transgender people like that.
We need to make sure we treat anyone with as much respect as possible. That way, if they blow up at you, the burden of proof is in them to explain why. In this situation, the cooler heads will prevail (hopefully).
9986372
Sir, if this were a battlefield of ideas, you'd be Italy.
9986279
I agree that the way that Gabriella responded to Sandbar about "the hormones" was a little rude since he obviously just did not know the correct terminology, but I also think that it was an understandable reaction based on the amount of stress she is feeling in this situation. She's likely feeling a lot of dysphoria from not passing and being seen and heard by everyone in the room, incredibly awkward due to Sandbar's confused reactions and their past friendship, vulnerable due to not being sure who around them might be prejudiced and is likely on edge waiting for someone to do or say something cruel, and possibly even a little guilty for having changed from what her friends knew her as before. It's an extremely hard situation to be in, and while it might be a little confusing and awkward for Sandbar it's a thousand times worse for Gabriella. As I said at the start, it was a little rude, but looking at it from her perspective I can understand why it would be difficult to remain completely polite and civil, especially when you never know when someone like Johnny Walker is going to swoop in with some bad faith arguments and misinformation. This happens more often than not unfortunately.
9986429 You have two published stories on your profile. One of them is fetish porn in which a protagonist roleplays impregnating his sister with a shape-shifter who has assumed said sister's form. You wrote this for money, which you failed to win.
I feel like a guy who does that probably shouldn't be casting stones over sexual degeneracy, but hey, judging by your combination of "I don't understand why people think I'm a bigot," and "let me tell you why Big Gay and minorities are destroying civilization," self-awareness probably isn't your strong suit.
9986443
No, you wrote it for money. Which, I note, you failed to earn. I think the stated reason was that your degenerate incest fetish porn wasn't incestuous enough (since the protagonist was only pretending to creampie his younger sister), but I like to think it's also because it's written at approximately the ninth grade level. Maybe you should have cried for help from an editor?
it's called mockery, you dipshit. I don't care about engaging with your talking points. I care about finding creative and entertaining ways to point at you and laugh.
9986372
This is literally the stupidest comment I've seen anyone spend time on in, I think, months. "pro-nouns"? Jesus, dude, are we scare-quoting the word pronoun now? Did you not learn what those were in middle school and in your blind bigoted panic you've decided they're some new SJW language-weapon? Dysphoria as a form of schizophrenia? Says fucking who? Who fucking dropped you on your head as a child and made you this incapable of rational thought?
Don't pretend like you think its a sad thing that some fictional group of "real" "transsexuals" are ignored because of an equally fictional denomination of fake "trend-sexuals". Own your own twisted foolishness without being a coward about it. You don't know anything about trans people except your own innate and unquestioned feeling of disgust, and are attempting to intellectualize and justify it through building narrative that casts that feeling as a rational and measured response to some form of wrong-doing.
9986578
why are you even here dude. Why did you even comment, wasting your time and everyone else's who might accidentally read your comment before realizing it was a semiotic black hole, actively stripping the meaning from everything around itself as the sound of "well ackshully..." echoes painfully outwards ad infinitum as a warning
9986578
This. I'll never understand what it's like to be gender dysphoric because I'm perfectly comfortable with my biology, which I'm immensely grateful for, as coming to terms with my bisexuality was difficult enough, even with the support and understanding of a loving family. What I can understand is that it's a severely stressful and emotionally taxing existence, compounded further by the already hormonal nature of human beings and legitimate social and political bigotry. I prefer to approach things from an analytical and scientific point of view, but mouthpieces and vehicles for commentary like this story help me to understand the personal side of transgenderism and gender dysphoria. It helps give gender dysphoria a face, to understand it's not just a diagnosis, it's a real person, just as human as the rest of our species. Or Griffon, as it were.
In essence, I'm ambivalent to gender dysphoria and trans people. It's harmless, and they do deserve to be recognized as legitimate people. The problem, as you state, comes from the attitudes. Look anywhere on any social sharing platform that exists in the modern era and you'll see that anyone who doesn't understand is condescended to, belittled, treated with cold disregard, and told we'll never understand what it's like, that our "cis" thinking prevents us from ever understanding(as exhibited by Gabriella in this story), with a very rapid escalation to aggression following very close behind. Anyone who disagrees faces severe attacks on their character, baseless assumptions and allegations, and vitriol. Instead of approaching each situation with an aim to educate the person who does not understand or agree the dysphoric regresses into an antagonistic "us vs. them" mentality and potential allies are left with a bad impression that may lead them to disregard transgenderism as illegitimate. Or worse, lead them to work against LGBT acceptance and understanding. What potential enemies gain is even worse, as they can point to this behavior as being indicative of all trans people. When the attitude has become "I don't care about your opinions, I care about finding creative ways to make fun of you" then why the Hell should the average person care about your issues, or take them seriously?
9986372
People shouldn't have to constantly justify their existence, especially to armchair psychologists who hides their lack of knowledge and empathy behind mere "opinions."
9986578
Reread your comment and think about its implications. You're saying trans people shouldn't be defending themselves against crude and downright misinformed accusations. As I said with persona non grata above, people shouldn't have to justify their existence to others. That's what the West is about.
You're doing a disservice to yourself by associating with Johnny. He's accusing people of *being different* and consequently being a societal problem--that's political ideology. And political ideology is how you forget that behind names and labels, there are people. Actual people. Empathy and good faith should be more important than politicking. Don't be Johnny.
Okay, so, now I'm kind of glad I didn't type out more of my irreverent addition of Ocellus just sort of not getting what Gabriella was going through, but for completely different reasons than what Gabriella's probably used to, since it probably would have just been used as fuel for a shitstorm fire rather than taken as the comedic aside I would have intended it to be.
I'm going to make one point because it involves misleading statements and those piss me right the Hell off.
9986429
I wanna touch on the "millions of Muslims" bit. At present there are about three million Muslims in the United Kingdom (here meaning England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland), or about 4.5% of the UK's total population. While that is in fact "millions" of Muslims, I feel that when you said "millions of Muslims" you meant to imply some great wave of Muslim immigration that makes up a statistically significant number of people, instead of, well, just three million people in a country of over 65 million. Its misleading, is what I'm driving at. More to the point the vast majority of those Muslims are people who have been living in the United Kingdom for generations and are just as British as Boris Johnson.
Oh, if you'll permit me a little bit of future sight into what I anticipate your counter-argument to be, as of 2018 there were about 126,000 refugees in the United Kingdom total, about 45,000 pending asylum cases, and just 125 stateless persons. I don't know the 2019 numbers but I imagine they're broadly similar. All these totally together amount to just .2% of the United Kingdom's total population, so, again, a statistically insignificant number if we're talking about something like ability to exert social pressure. In metric terms, you could seat every one of those people in two Wembley stadiums (seating capacity 90,000) with spare seats left over.
My point being...if you have a point you want to make, fine. But maybe in the future we make that point without misleading statements that seek to portray Muslims as some vast, numberless, invading horde when really it's not remotely like that.
Sources:
Number of Muslims in the United Kingdom and population of the United Kingdom
Number of Refugees and Asylum Seekers in the United Kingdom
EDIT
Oh, some more future sight. There are about 8.5 million immigrants total in the United Kingdom, which is about 13% of the population. This is comparable to America's percentage of immigrants, which comprise about 14% of the United States. About one-third of the UK's immigrant population (2.9 million people) are natives of other EU countries. The three largest non-European sources are (in order) India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh.
Sources:
Pew Research
Foreign-Born Population of the United Kingdom
9986730
Thanks for the comprehensive teardown there: I didn't have the time yesterday to really dig into how terrible Johnny's comment was, so thanks for fighting the good fight.
What a shame. I actually enjoyed this story and the way you wrote it. I dealt with something like this with one of my friends a few years back when they came forward in our little social circle. It didn't end in group hugs, but everyone had a better understanding from that day on. We're still friends and very close, and that's why I enjoyed this story.
But then you went and did selective censoring with comments ie. Deleting. Even if someone is a dick, deleting comments isn't a way of dealing with things. It leaves a very bad taste in everyone's mouth because it shows people with power can't handle the pressure. I wanna look past that transgression, I really do. But with this being the first story I've read of yours... I was actually looking forward to reading more, but You know what they say about making first impressions matter...
9986838
i deplatformed transphobic comments from a fic that trans people will likely read. i am not mandated to offer those poster a safe space to spam their vitriol.
9986838
People with inflammatory comments that are not even about the story itself aren't owed a platform by the people they are disparaging. They can do that in blog posts.
9986849
To play a bit of Devil’s advocate for a moment, you can block the user without deleting the comments, thereby denying a platform for hate speech while still keeping plain the reason for that denial for everyone to see and judge.
Your fic, your decision, I’m just keeping everyone informed of all available options
9986423
Yes, that is true. Gabriella's body language definitely indicates why she would act that way. However, just because that can't dismiss of the fact that it as a little bit rude. It's the same logic as, "We understand why you decided to slap that person, but you can't just go around slapping people."
Also, it felt like such a break in the conversation. before this, Gabriella seemed very shy and anxious, but this comment makes it go from that to slightly annoyed or fed up, just doesn't really match the tone of the conversation.
9986860
Thank you for your positive contribution to human kind, Mr PhD in social sciences.
9986849
You missed my point about censoring though. I got no problem with you blocking the person and stopping them from spewing said vitriol. Censoring the problem where you have broken up comments is what my biggest gripe is. If you're gonna censor something, censor everything so people coming to this story don't get mixed opinions.
Just my opinion though. It's your fic, and you're the one with power.
9986860
Lad if i wanted a circle jerk, i'd just... set one up at Everfree or something. Way easier ways to get a circle jerk than writing a fic and moderating the comment section.
(Spoilers for the story below)
Okay, so I honestly expected the Trans Path of this story to be either a) Gallus (who I'm not very familiar with as a character admittedly) reveals they were ftm from an early age or b) Gallus is non-binary and has a hard time explaining it to their friends. I really should've guessed it was mtf, I guess, cause like 95% of all trans stories, pony or otherwise, tend to default to mtf, and offline the vast majority of people I know equate "trans" with "transwomen".
While this comment got pretty vile with a lot of its derailment, there were some points buried in it that I will have to mention. (And I regret not being able to throw an ol' cyberbully in the way of a certain deleted twat but eyy what can you do.) Most of the people in this comment section - as far as I can tell - are not trans. Not in the slightest. Your story simply states that it relays some of the trans experience with an oddly universal assurance. I'm not mtf. I'm ftm, mostly out, on HRT, and so I know a lot of the experiences that go on in this story. I also have So Many Goddamn Cis Friends, but unlike most trans stories (fictional or otherwise) I've always felt more alienated/not fitting in with the trans crowd, even for stuff as simple as not being an enby or mtf. So, some things in this story were very much "I feel most trans people get this, no matter what side they are" but others didn't and it really did feel like more of a personal ventfic- not that there's a problem with that, and I did enjoy it. That might be because I started transitioning somewhere in the middle age of most people I know/know of or just because I'm the trans guy who is more comfortable around dudebros and frat friends than my own trans sibs.
tldr I get some of this shit way more than comment section gremlins, and I'm ultimately glad to say this would be a good addition to the LGBT group. However, like I mentioned there are some issues in the story and with how it's told. I know there's already a griffon called Gabby, but I'm gonna be calling her Gabby. I couldn't imagine what about this simple-looking story could've gotten you a lot of downvotes in such a short period of time (in my writing/reading experience, enbies, non-femme or mtf, questioning will get more downvotes especially when coupled with a controversial theme like suicide or something). I was roughly 3/4 into the story and enjoying it quite a bit when it really started to stumble, so I've highlighted the bits where I felt it did and why.
Gabby did make a big choice in going to the event and coming out. I get that those are hard. I sometimes still have to try and pitch my voice just deep enough to say I'm not a gal if I'm in certain crowds and cringe whenever I realize I'll probably have to write the friggin' pronouns on my nametags when it's just so short of being obvious and why can't I feel less fucked up and look less fucked up y'know?
The problem is that Gabby is still surrounded by friends. The way she comes across is that she's tired of the whole song and dance, the unearthing-coming-out-reminders that she's a different kind of hen, and sometimes that's the worst possible thing. (thanks dysphoria) There's never anything to suggest that she thought anybody would be transphobic to her, and since this *is* a reunion event I'd imagine there would be somebody around to help her out if she felt unsafe or threatened.
She conveys her frustration well in her first few exchanges with Sandbar, and he's so amazingly sweet at trying to learn the ropes and help her out. Gabby and Sandbar are good at explaining and working through her first shows of frustration and aggression, but then she does this. It just hits a point or two where she comes across as blatantly bitchy to someone trying to help her - and a close friend who she feels safe confiding in and everything. Explaining something that someone with a different experience has a hard time understanding is something that really counts on attitude, and she basically mocks Sandbar here. What for? Because he's cis? Like most of the population (going with how this is a dive into realistic trans themes and that trans people are still like less than 5% of the pop iirc)? It's shitty, especially when he didn't mock her in an underhanded way or make a cis """"joke"""" or whatever. He probably just didn't know the right name for her hormones. Plus, he also alternates between calling it a medicine specifically because it helps her. That's the most normalizing thing, having someone just call 'em meds.
This story is about being a good friend to your friend, no matter the life changes they go through. Sandbar being the POV character makes it clear that this is meant for people who want to read about things from a friend of trans people's perspective, and it has the trans character basically mocking them for trying as they come out to their friend who is trying to help them. She could also try and tell Sandbar where her boundaries are with questions or politely decline to answer some/tell him it makes her uncomfortable. I sometimes have to do this, and it would be a good thing to see a story that teaches this. After all, you can't expect a trans person to be the Walking Talking Trans Everything 101 in your life too. Maybe I should write something like it i dunno.
I wanna smack someone every time they do that dumb-sweet seeming little "oh what gender do you identify as" thing because it's honestly worse than getting the ol' deadname thrown around. So this. I fucking get this. Trans I may be, but I'm still a dude. Gabby's frustration here is clear, but after she said this it would have felt a bit better if she addressed at a later point in the story that she still understood what Sandbar meant and gently corrected him (maybe before her other friends showed up?).
ow my heart ow my trans life
9986385
That's an incredibly asexy history joke ya got there. 👀
9986858
It's Gara's call to delete what she wants but tbf they were fun to laugh at
9986858
This comment here probably touches the most on some of the things I wanted to say, but on a narrower scope. A lot of the gulf between your story and your *actual* readers here seems to be that some of the minor turns the story took did feel mocking - even to me, a trans person - in the face of a positive idea about helping your trans friend, and that Gabby was in a safe space (and reminded of it) to help her friends understand.
9986882
> Censorship
Censorship is a state or corporate policy, Gara is just a person who doesn't want a comment section clogged by politic-peddlers and other insensitive drivels.
A comment section isn't a bigot's platform. It isn't a bigot's human right to have access to it. Their freedom to spew stops where people don't want their saliva spits to land.
Trying to avoid echo chambers shouldn't be a race to the bottom of a barrel of distasteful ideas. And yet a lot of people in this comment section have been scrubbing its wooden bottom with a shovel.
9986892
Again, to play Devil’s advocate, if that were the case then my comment upthread about the number of Muslims actually in the UK should be deleted, since it’s off-topic to this story and extremely political. By retaining it can be perceived as Gara favoring one view that was both supportive of them and attacking someone who wasn’t; while also banning even looking at another that isn’t.
To be clear: this is not necessarily my view, and it is 100% Gara’a choice how to operate their own comments section. I’m just serving as a sort of Loyal Opposition here.
9986900
oh... i mean i'm allowing leftist comments to remain, why would i delete those?
9986901
ih1.redbubble.net/image.458471959.0777/ap,550x550,16x12,1,transparent,t.u1.png
i had to do it
9986881
Now I really don't like taking up comments like this, especially when it begins to fall under the category of "Not Story Related" but if you really wanna continue this back and forth. Hit me with PM's.
9986901
I was responding specifically to the idea floated by RoMS that you didn’t want politic-peddlers. I peddled politics but my post remains.
Full disclosure: I am 100% pro trans rights and gay rights and so forth and so on. But I’m also a very strong believer in the intrinsic freedom of speech and the right to say what you want. BUT I’m also a bit of a conservative/righty when it comes to things like property and so in that vein since this comments section is your property (basically), I don’t feel a right to tell you what to do with it. BUT then again it’s your comments sections but not your comments, and by allowing comments at all on this story you are implicitly allowing any kind of comment to my way of thinking...
Long story abort we’re at what for me is a weird and uncomfortable intersect of my beliefs. I’ll just close with saying that deleting comments isn’t how I would have handled it even though I completely oppose what Johnny Walker and others were saying and doing.
I liked the story :)
I read the story! It's a very sit-down-and-get-it-done-in-two-hours story, really.
This is literally going to be the first time I ever make a comment in Fimfic and comment on someone's grammar, but I feel you had a little too many ellipses in there. At points it felt like there were three, four per paragraph; probably an exaggeration, but it's what it felt like. I'd consider cleaning that up a lil' bit, adding some variety and so on.
As per the story per se, this is that rare kind of story that at the same time explores a concept and also doesn't. I've seen a bunch like this, and they obviously come from a place of understanding the subject matter -- in this case, Gallus being a trans woman -- at a personal level. So it talks about Gallus being a trans woman and it does so in an accurate way, and it explores it through a very specific kind of interaction that seems to be very common.
But it's also Just That, if that makes sense? The story doesn't do anything else regarding like, a conflict, or a plot, or anything except for the very basic exploration of the idea that comes from "here's how this plays out every time, the end". This is literally a story about Gallus being a trans woman, and all that happens in it is that Gallus is a trans woman. Nothing else is done with that idea.
Which doesn't mean the story is bad, but it does mean that it's going to resonate a lot with the people who can relate to the situation, and the people who can't are going to have trouble finding anything to say. "That certainly seems like it would happen" is the reaction I personally had since I'm cis as hell myself; I saw how the situation developed but then I didn't have much else to grab onto.
So yeah there's not much else for me to say, since I can't fully relate and can't judge how accurate or absolutely to the point this is, on account of I'm not reading it from the same place of understanding you are. This is borderline a genre nowadays; I've seen it very often with depression, where a story about Dash Being Depressed has nothing in it except that it has Dash in it, and she's depressed.
But that's precisely why people who've been through that like them, because it Puts It Into Words. It explains something they've experienced in a way maybe they themselves couldn't. What this kind of story goes for is less like, readers wanting to cheer for the characters and see what happens at the end, and more a shared sense of closeness between reader and writer -- "I've been there, it's the same for all of us", etcetera.
It's catharsis by way of exploration, in other words. So, yeah, I don't really have much to say to this regarding constructive criticism. I'm not the audience, and that's perfectly fine, I think.
Anyway now to get it off my chest.
9986838
"Transphobia? That I can understand. But, deleting comments? So I can't read the drama? God, that's where I draw the line."
Y'know, maybe we could all fucking read the story, see what it's about, infer what the expliticly transphobe comments said to the author, to her face, explicitly about her gender and what it means to be trans, and then wonder why Gara deleted those comments. Gee. If only there were a reason.
But yes no deleting comments is always wrong, because hey, I have never been harrassed that way, so it's probably not that bad, right. Come the fuck on.
9986913
This whole comment section has been a long tangent started by transphobes who used the premise of the story as a pedestal for their bile. Nothing here is story related, and it sure didn't start with Antsan.
9986914
Gara isn't infringing on anyone's freedom of speech by deleting their comments here. Gara isn't a state or a powerful institution (yet) out to silence anyone.
There is a different between denying them the platform of this comment section and denying them a platform.
Come on, RBD. Gara does not owe the bigots the opportunity to discriminate, disparage, attack, deny her. They can do in their own corners but not here. This is not a freedom of speech question. Gara isn't exercising state power or a monopoly of violence to silence an opinion, she's exercising her right, even obligation here, not to be dehumanized.
People invoking freedom of speech to do precisely that are perverting the meaning of speech, the meaning of freedom to do so.