• Member Since 28th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 days ago

Craine


An old writer polishing his ways, giving feedback, and helping fellow authors. Nothing more.

T

Equestrian magic has undergone yet another change. This is nothing new. Sunset Shimmer and her friends had always taken this kind of challenge in stride. Now, however, things are different. And Sunset Shimmer vows to find out why the strongest friend she'd ever made has missed an entire week of school.

This is a foolish, terrible decision that sets in motion everything Sunset is woefully unprepared for.


And we're BACK in the game!


Rated "Teen" for suggestive themes, inconsolable teenage hormones, and heavily implied sex.

Enjoy!

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 25 )

Sunset knew she was staring. But she couldn’t snap out of it, even when her roaming, wandering, desecrating, pillaging, awestruck eyes finally settled on the sheening washboard of muscle that was Applejack’s abdomen.

Lol, Sunset loves musclegirls.

Ok, sweet LORD you have my undivided attention here.

Damn those abs tho :pinkiegasp:

That’s a lotta muscle from spending most of your day on farmwork.

And Sunset loved strength. Power always found ways to just… make her want. To reach greater heights. To challenge. To conquer and aspire. To fail and to succeed. To lead and follow those who thought the same. To grow.

Makes sense.

Sunset is a better person, but her ambition and drive for success would still remain.

“Rarity’s too good for you.”
A distant cough, a hard scrape of metal against wood, and Applejack’s work sputtered to a halt. Sunset Shimmer couldn’t help but smirk as that blonde head lifted.
“What’cha just say to me, sugar?”
Sunset lost her nerve, hesitating with a nibbled bottom lip. That same planet-busting jolt savagely torched all her fears.
“You heard me. Someone like you? You don’t deserve her.”

Her tact for manipulation also has remained as well.

I can't wait for the next part.

See's the cover photo. Jesus christ!:twilightoops:

I’ll hand it to you. This was not what I expected, after looking at the cover image. Nice work on subverting my expectations. I look forward to the conclusion!

This was deep, painful, and hugely impressive. Well done.

This had a good mixture of emotion, caring, and sensuality.

Well done.

Are you ever gonna write a sequel? I want to know how the other Rainbooms will be affected by the growing magic.

Holy shit that was a ride.

...Well, that was a ride. Heartbreaking, so sensual and so sweet.

Well done sir, well done.

Wow... Sunset & Amazon AJ were so incredibly done here with how much emotional they got with their argument

That was an phenomenal way to end the story & to kick off Sunset & AJ's relationship!

P.S. Can you tell me who the artist is, who made the cover art please?

Holy cow, loving it and I can see potential for so much more!

9748743
Eeeeeyyyyyy.


9748960
Right?


9748979
I know. Isn't magic just wonderful?


9749513
Oddly, I hadn't planned on Sunset's 'Rarity jab' to highlight her manipulative side. A welcome accident, though.


9749790
:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:


9750930
Subversion is a powerful writing tool, I think. Though, I feel I've revealed that point a tad slowly here. Gotta crank out a few oneshots to get my flow back.


9751035
Your praise is very welcome. Glad you enjoyed it. I sure as Hell did.


9751048
Funny, that. I have a sequel outlined, but the manuscript is currently in limbo. Figured I should write a few oneshots until I'm ready for that. Getting back in the groove can be... challenging.


9751069 9751131
Best roller coaster in in town


9751336 9751402
Thank you, tons. I'm not sure if the argument seemed force. I'm also unsure if I added too much filler to compensate. Also, I found the pic on pintrest (the full pic is just wonderful).


9752380
Thanks. Sequel's in the oven. Just gonna write some oneshots to scrape off the rust.

Craine...

9753965
Okay, what did you type to find the photo?

Congratulations, this is the first Applejack pairing that I can truly get behind. Applejack and Rainbow Dash are 2 of the more difficult characters to work with when creating a shipfic in my opinion and this one was done masterfully.

9754845
Actually Appledash is something I see like this story's sunset in a way. RD being all brave bravado finally trusting AJ enough to open up. Cause RD can be written a few ways but my favorite for biased reasons in the Loyal to a fault character who would never betray her friends but is secretly terrified her friends aren't as loyal as she is. There was a line from Stardust that I really liked.

From Dash's letter:
After reviewing the content of the letter, I have to also comment on the character of the letter itself. Just based on the wording combined with information provided by Twilight, the abrasive wording is actually a subconscious attempt at self-sabotage or a way to reassure herself that her friends are as loyal to her as she is to them. She is proportedly a paragon of the virtue ‘loyalty’ so she is expected to be so with her friends, but I suspect she’s painfully aware that her peers aren’t held to that standard.

Without meeting the subject in person I can only speculate, but she strikes me as one who covers up her own fear and insecurity with her boasting and showmanship. If my suspicions are correct, that holding the status of paragon may act as a compulsion to that virtue, it would only compound the issue.

From Fluttershy's letter:
From what I understand she was the victim of bullying at a young age, and is extremely attached to Rainbow Dash as a longtime (and likely only) childhood friend.

This would sugguest a bit of a symbiotic relationship between the two. Rainbow Dash needs Fluttershy because her childhood experiences ensure that the latter will always stay loyal to the former. Fluttershy needs Rainbow Dash because the latter is so forgiving of the former’s perceived shortcomings and failings.

9754156
Artist is "invisibleone11"

9786036
Thx buddy, I found the link! Click here for the full pic! :pinkiehappy:

I'm not normally one for breaking up canon couples (and let's face it, human Rarijack is a canon couple,) but this is still a fantastic piece. The unique circumstances of the evolving magic, the gripping back-and-forth, the oscillating power dynamics...

In all, an excellent read. Thank you for it. Though I do fear what's become of the other girls based on Sunset's summarized assessment. (I fully expect Pinkie to have already sent Rarity an apology text, cupcake basket, and invitation to the Sorry Applejack Broke up With You, but at Least She's Not Fleeing in Shame party.)

I must’ve missed it, what caused AJ to change?

I'm back again I've read this a couple of times since I last posted but holy hell if it still ain't a kick in the gut.

Just read this story...... Again....... And I still wish there was more to it.

Login or register to comment