This Ain't Compendium: Hangover

by Xfiles90210

III. Ponyville's Town Square

Ponyville’s Town Square

Nikolai was walking slowly as he was kicking a small stone. He was tired of looking for the others and he was just wandering around. The ponies, after noticing him, began to whisper when they recognized who he was

“The fuck do you want?” he yelled at them when he noticed he was being looked “fucking horses”. The ponies around saw him either with fear, disgust or even strange. After a few moments, they all walked away from him; all of them but one peculiar Pegasus.

The drunken Russian looked at her as she was clumsily flying house to house to deliver mail. He rubbed his chin for a few moments and then he sighed. “Guess Nikolai will have to ask for help” he thought, he approached to her and yelled “hey you!”

The gray Pegasus with golden mane and yellow eyes turned to him, smiled and put her left hoof on her forehead, saluting him. “Hey mister, how can I help?” she said with a smile.

“Do you know about some...” he stopped talking as he noticed her eyes. He stood silent for a moment and then asked slightly upset “well, where are you looking at?”

“I don’t know what you mean, sir” she replied

“Your eyes, they freak me out” he took a step closer to her “it’s like you look at me and my soul at the same time... like second wife”

“Oh, that” she said embarrassed and sad “my eyes used to be normal, but I just don’t know what went wrong”

“You better fix them, they’re creepier than monkey zombies” he said as he looked at the bag she was carrying “so, you got vodka in there?”

“What’s vodka?” she asked confused.

“Never mind” he said disappointed “okay, have you seen two bastards that look like me? But uglier”

“I’m afraid not, sir”

“This sucks harder than fifth wife” he turned around “If you see them then tell them fuck themselves... and go back to teleporter”

“Oh, I got a better idea” she said as she flew to him and collided, making both fall to the ground.

“Ow, you just hurt little Nikolai” he said after he spat grass “and that hurts more than it sounds”

“Oops, my bad” she said and she helped him to get up.

“Now what the fuck do you pretend?”

“You can come with me, sir. I know Ponyville like the back of my hoof” she smiled widely as she was standing in front of him and showed her left hoof.

“Now that’s...” he thought “erm.. I lost my train of thought again” he shook his head and then he scratched it “oh wait. Now that’s not a bad idea. Better than nothing I guess.”

“Woo-hoo! Let’s go” she said as she begun to fly clumsily to the next house.

“Ookay, thank you... erm...”

“Derpy is my name and deliver mail is my game” she replied excited.

“You must be kidding” he said skeptically.

“No, I’m not, look!” she showed him an ID card and he took it.

“Hello, my name’s Derpy Hooves” he read and turned back to the Pegasus “what’s up with that kind of name? Is like calling me Drunkity Drunk”

“Nice to meet you Drunkity” she said a she extended her hoof, clearly not getting his sarcasm.

“Are you stupid or just fooling around?” he said upset “My name’s not Drunkity, my name’s Nikolai”

“Oh, sorry Nik” she was still extending her hoof.

“Whatever” he looked at her and ignored her hoof “so, are we moving or not?”

“Right away, Nik!” she replied happily as she saluted him again. Then, she put a letter to the mailbox and proceeded to fly to the next house. Nikolai sighed as he followed her.