• Member Since 19th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 20th, 2022

Overmare


Comments ( 16 )

Wow. Derpy had a horrible past.:derpyderp2:

This is really sweet, some errors though.
I LOVED IT:pinkiehappy:
you mind returning the favor and checking out my stories?:pinkiesad2:
thanks:pinkiecrazy:

I hope the bastard who did that to Derpy met justice in one form or another. A couple mistakes I want to point out though:

The still nearly unconscious mare lifted her head, and noticed a family face.
Shouldn't that be familiar?

The doctor loved Dinky like she was her own father,
I don't think Dinky can be her own father.

That's all. Sorry if I upset you.:twilightblush:

DDDDDAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DOCTOR/DERPY FTW! WOO

This was a great Fic. Nice job:derpytongue2:

The story was pretty good, but almost every line contained an error of some sort. :facehoof:

Enjoyed, liked, and faved. You sir are awesome!

this was AWESOME, i hope that the derpy episode has a bit of background story too:raritywink:

The story of the fic was good. A few mistakes here and there, but who cares.
There is only one thing I have a problem with is Twilight. She's an ass!
1) She's going out with Rarity and I'm pretty sure Spike doesn't know a thing.
2) She makes Derpy cry just because she wants to satisfy her own curiosity!
3) At the end of the story she tries to play the nice mare even though it was her fault that derpy was crying!

Something I liked about this fic was:

The rape scene.

It was weird...alien...strange. It depicted certain things of the act, but wasn't too explicit.
That's how I like this kind of Rape scenes, especially if Derpy is in them. I don't want to see her suffer much.
(But from the scene I got the idea she wasn't enjoying it either.)


Something you could improve:

The Feeling of the story.

The story is good. But it doesn't have that emotional thing that just forces you to keep reading it.

Sorry if my comment wasn't useful.
Keep the good work.

2274101 Spike knows. This story is in the same universe of my fic "New Discoveries", just for the sake of including the Rarity x Twi ship in there.

I enjoyed this story, although I didn't like rarity X twilight thing. also, I don't really care for derpy being raped, but what the heck, that's the whole idea of the story. nice work! :pinkiehappy:

Now out of the bath, Derpy was still a little damp after trying herself off. She sees her savoir waiting on the couch, and she goes to him. She jumps into the air, and tackles him with a big hug.

should be "drying" and "savior"

Love the story dude:twilightsmile:

2274101
2278267
Twirity is the number one cause of psychopathic dragons
E.g.
Dark Seduction
Life of a Dragon: Die for metal
A Dragon's Requiem
The Rise of Spike the Dragon

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