Rainbow Dash lies at her deathbed with Scootaloo close by.
eh 2/5 man, Could have used a bit more details around RD's deathbed and maybe an explanation why she wouldn't tell her straight out why she was her sister.
I'm not gonna down vote though because i'm not a dick
keep up writing though. we only get better with practice
Manly tears were shed...
AWWWW sooooo cute
But there are a few parts that go on to fast or it feels like some parts are missing. Like after Scootalo reads the note from Rainbow Dash she doesn't even pause to think about it.But a very good story over all.
Manly tears were shed... R.I.P. Rainbow Dash. You will be dearly missed.
Whats with people making stories about everypony dying?!!!!
Very touching though
What did just say?
You might want to fix that xD
My only problem is that realistically, Scoots would been a little pissed that Rainbow never told her she had a family. And orphan would be. Not to mention, now that Rainbow is dead, she'll never know why her parents abandoned her, or what happened to them. Et cetera et cetera.
*Cough* Had a part 2 planned *Cough* To explain anything confusing *Cough*
Sorry what? I have a bad cold
Also, I'm currently busy editing it with my editor fixing up all the errors.
I see, looking forward to it. :)
SO MANY MANLY TEARS!
I'll give it a read when I have more time
You have a good understanding of the elements of a good story, but the problem is how rushed it feels. To improve from here, I'd suggest really delving into how and why things happen. The way the story is now, Rainbow Dash looks like a bit of a dick for keeping the birth certificates hidden for so long, but if you gave Dash a reason why, then it could completely change the perception of the story. Keep writing, and always thing about why things happen! You're sure to improve!
I have to agree with coments 1 & 11. Other than that the story was beautiful. Job well done.
I didn't even make it halfway through the story before I started to cry.
I hate myself for reading stories where my favorite ponies must suffer. But I can't help it...
Anyway, nice story. I had feels and shed some tears. But to be honest, it felt as if it was rushed. Things happened too quickly which made it hard to hold on to the intended emotions. Overall, a great read though :)
Yup, rushed is the right story for this, because it was. I couldnt write it anymore once my own feels kicked in, so I had to cut it off.
I plan on writing a proper sad fic involving scoots and rd with that one wallpaper I made. It should be good.
dayum. this is really hard to read after suffering the loss of my favorite uncle a few months ago. but why did you say that pinkie died? wtf.