Every Fire Burns Out

by Vynce

Dousing the Flame

You told me that if I fell you’d be there to catch me. But you can’t, you’ll never get the chance, because I wasn’t there to catch you.

Remember when I joined the Wonderbolts? I told you it was because they were my idols. I told you it was because everypony looked up to them, and I wanted to be important. I never told you that it was you I idolized, or that it was you I wanted to be important to. I always thought that I would need to be great for you to ever notice me. I figured if I could join the Wonderbolts then I’d get the chance to show you what you meant to me.

You proved me wrong, though. I didn’t need to be special, or important, or famous. I just needed to be there for you like she was, and you might have felt for me like you did for her. You gave her everything I ever wanted just by being around her, and I was so jealous. I never let you know, though. I couldn’t hurt you like that, so I’d never tell you. In fact I was always supportive of you, I even helped you plan your wedding.

I remember helping you try on every suit, you wanted to find one that complemented her eyes over your own. You loved her so much that you only wanted to add to her spotlight on a day you were meant to share. I never told you, but I think you were handsome anyway. You always have been.

I stood near you on your wedding day. You convinced your wife to let me be a best stallion in your wedding, even though I’m a mare. I remember hearing you argue with her over it, defending me as your best friend. I might’ve been so happy to hear you standing up for me against someone so important to you, that is if the word ‘friend’ hadn’t hurt me so much. More secrets you’ll never know, though.

But you won the argument, and I was there for you on the big day. I stood just behind you as I watched you state your vows, promising to give her everything I’ve ever dreamed of. I smiled, even though it hurt so much to watch. I was happy for you, I was even happy for her. I’ve never tried to come between you, I never would’ve dreamed of it.

It was just before you went away on your honeymoon that you promoted me to co-captain. I was so happy that I hugged you, the first and last time I would ever feel your warmth. I told you I was crying because I was happy, but in reality it’s because I knew that I’d never have a reason to hold you again. Maybe I shouldn’t have lied to you so much, but I only ever did it because I wanted you to be happy. I’d never burden you with my problems.

After that you left, the stallion of my dreams off to spend his honeymoon with the mare of his. You left me here alone, and those were the saddest weeks of my life. It was perhaps a dangerous obsession that made it hurt so much to be away from you, but I didn’t care. I loved you. I still do.

When you got back you playfully mocked my excitement. I told you I was still coasting off the joy of being promoted, but I think that was the first time you saw through my lie. You teased me for weeks about how happy I was, but it was so fun. I’d give anything for you to be next to me right now, poking fun about how I’ve got a crush on a coworker. I guess that was as good a time as any to tell you how right you were, but I kept denying it anyway. You were married then, and I couldn’t bring myself to do anything that might jeopardize what you had with her.

It wasn’t just you being with her that hurt me, though. I don’t mean to make her out to be a villain, it was never her fault that you loved her. There’s more things I would like to get off my chest right now. Like that time me and you were sent off on that mission with just us? Do you remember how awkward that was? It was still fun, though.

We were sent to deal with some issues overseas. Apparently the princess needed an escort for her royal ambassador to oversee some political proposals with the zebras. Pretty routine stuff, right? Guess that’s why neither of us really expected the dragon raid. They came from nowhere, and they attacked so violently. We were no match and we knew it, but you still did everything you could to drive them back. You put your life on the line to protect some stuck-up politicians, I never would’ve been so brave as you.

That was part of the reason I loved you, though. Your dedication to everything you did. It was watching you fight those great beasts that drove me to do it, you know? More lies, and I hate myself for it. I didn’t leap in front of that dragon to save some democrat, I did it to save you. I was so scared of them, I hid for almost the entire fight, but when I saw you cornered... I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand back and watch it happen, so I dove in.

You held your own for so long against them, and all it took for them to take me down was one hit, my first move and I was out. You never told me how you managed to save me and not the politician who was still conscious when I passed out. Sometimes I imagine that you valiantly came to my rescue leaving all your other troubles behind to be my knight in shining armor. Just immature dreams, I suppose. I still wonder what actually happened then.

I remember I woke up in a cave. I was burnt badly and almost dead. You were there at my lowest point, and what you told me has stuck with me since. You said you’d always be there to catch me when I fall. You’ve always been there to pick me up no matter how low I was, and you’ve helped me so much I could never hope to repay you. I had my chance, though, and I blew it. I can never try again now because I messed up. For one time in your life you needed me, and I’ll live mine knowing I wasn’t there.

Everypony told me not to blame myself. They say I never could’ve known, even your wife tried to cheer me up when I should’ve been the one helping her. She lost a husband, and I was the one who was so weak I couldn’t console the pony that has lost more here than any of us. Your strength must’ve rubbed off on her, though, because she was the one comforting me. I feel so useless, so powerless and unneeded. I’ve never felt this way when you were around, even if I didn’t have you to myself. Now you’re gone and I don’t know if I’ll ever be strong again.

That’s why I’m leaving the Wonderbolts. I’m not strong enough to lead them without you, and they need somepony to be captain. I didn’t take it upon myself to choose the next captain, I wasn’t even able to do that. I just gave my letter of resignation and left, like the weakling that I am. I flew so far away that day that even I don’t know where I went. I’m still wondering if I’ll ever be able to go back, if anypony even wants me there. They don’t need me, not like you did. I couldn’t save the stallion that was my everything, so how am I supposed to be able to save anypony else?

I wrote so much more than I wanted to, all in hopes that I could distract myself and never have to write about the one thing I began writing this letter for. Suppose it’s time to stop running from my pain.

You were never meant to go on that mission. You asked me to do it, and I flaked out. You were so understanding that I wouldn’t want to go so near my parents. You never pushed me to try and make amends, you just took what I said and you took my responsibilities for it, too. You didn’t even know they were abusive, I never told you about them. You were so caring even when you didn’t know why, or have any reason to be. It’s my fault that you left, and it should’ve been me there instead. Your wife would still have a husband, and I know that nopony would be as hurt as I am right now.

I knew something was wrong, even from thousands of miles away. You know how they say you can sense it when your soul mate is in danger? I think that’s why a part of me died before anyone even knew what happened. I flew as fast as I could, I left without telling anypony why. I think they might’ve been confused at why I was in such a rush, but for some reason I knew I needed to be there. I wanted to catch you when you fell.

I didn’t, though. I flew with everything I had and I was just short of making it. I watched you die, it’s an image that will never stop haunting my nightmares. If I was just a little faster I could’ve caught you, but I didn’t. Nopony ever found out what happened, why you fell. Some suspect you were pushed, others that you tripped and your wings weren’t working, there’s even somepony who said you jumped.

I don’t know the reason, and I don’t care to. The fact is that I’ve lost you and I can’t get you back no matter how much I want to. I’ll never be able to tell you what you meant to me. I’ll never be able to tell you how just being around you was enough to make my darkest days so bright. I’ll never be able to tell you that I would give my last breath just to see you smile.

Most importantly I’ll never be able to tell you I loved you. I really do love you, now as much as ever. I won’t stop, even when my cold body is I've left behind, I’ll love you. When the whole world has stopped turning, I’ll still love you.

I'll be with you forever, Soarin, even if you never know it. Next time you fall, I promise I’ll catch you.

Comments

[Vynce]

Another fic written as the result of a short conversation. I wanted to make it longer and sadder, but I had so much trouble writing it. I had to kinda jump to the ending, so I'm sorry for that. This one was not easy at all for me, I was only able to spend an hour on it, most of which was me trying not to cry. Don't you judge me lol

[DbzOrDie]

touching

[Rainy Meadows]

Ow... right in the feels...

[Goholite]

Wow... ok... wow...

[BadOCsAndRabidFans]

This was beautiful. Just beautiful. Don't be sorry for anything, except for the fact that I'll probably never stop crying. Allow me to favorite, like, and start watching you. Here, take a few crying ponies to show you how awesome this is.

[Karackas]

Can't comment, can't see past the tears....

[TheBoxfromMetalGearSolid]

Very touching. The ending was just a bit quick, but I think overall the pacing was excellent, and nothing was lost. Good job! I wish I could write as well as you do.

[Pia]

Ouch.
I wish I could just give her a hug.
When you aboard the hug train, it makes no stops..
I loved this..

[Vynce]

1050934
1050947
1051076
1051126

Thank you, guys. I'm glad you enjoyed (if that's the right word to use here...) the fic

1051093

The ending was quick indeed, I was only a few paragraphs in when I decided I needed to just rush through it. This was dreadful! I'm really happy you liked it.

[Brony of Truth]

That was a spectacularly heart felt story.
Probably the most deep and emotionally moving story I have ever read.

[Vynce]

1083544

Thank you, I do my best. I hope you liked it.

[wildberk]

Whelp mate. You did good. real good. I didn't cry during MLD or Dreaming of me, this got me DANGEROUSLY close. All to relevant to me. The fact that you wrote this in a hour is very impressive.

Ok the first person perspective was a real nice touch. It was really touching. Pacing is really good. It was like enjoying a slow burning cigar or watching or fire slowly die...only to be snuffed out suddenly.
Uh a few grammatical errors here and there but it was good.

I personally loved the soul mate in trouble part. Hit my right in my feels. I'd give you a 9 out of 10

[Vynce]

1090443

Thank you! Those grammatical errors I was honestly expecting; my pre-reader didn't want to linger on this fic too much because we both knew how it was causing me issues, so this one actually came in with no edits. This was all one shot, wrote it and put it in so I didn't have to deal with it anymore lol

[wildberk]

1090489
Not bad amigo. You got some talent when you force yourself to do so. I proof read for a lot of people so let me know if you want another one.

The only thing that bugged me about this fic was Spitfire was portrayed so weak. I mean it was nice to see this more insecure side to her, but it doesn't match up with the series.

[Vynce]

1090513

I would love another proof reader if you're up for it.

Yeah I agree there. I normally try to stay on canon or at least give a reason why I'd stray from it, but this one was just too bothersome. I actually had that same thought while I was writing it, but I couldn't go back and change it. I stuck as close as I could get in my other fics at least lol

[Rabuiods]

1039394
My heart...it is now broken. This was very great story, well done!

wildberk told me to check you out, so here I am! I can't recommend him enough, he is an awesome proofreader!

1090443
Boy, when you said we were opposites, you weren't kidding.

[Vynce]

1099640

I'm glad you think so

He is indeed, so much has already become painfully obvious, but a good kind of painful. It's unfortunate for me though, that the only one he's proofread so far is the one I have difficulty returning to lol

[ryde55]

all i have to say is........ that this has to be the most heartbreaking fic i have evar read

good job i found a few spelling mistakes but thats it so other than that good job

[Vynce]

1220886

Thank you very much.

You want to send me the spelling errors via PM so that I can fix them? Completely up to you, you're not my editor and not obligated in any way.

Thanks again

[Fury of the Tempest]

... An interesting way to see things, but so sad...

[Secret_Shadows]

Instant favorite, Instant follow, Instant thumbs up.

This is one of the few stories that has ever made me actually shed a tear. And I am usually emotionless, this story is amazing, 5 out of 5. Fantastic.

[Gallifrey]

Very feely. Made me almost cry on the train this morning it was so sad. Well done!

[Vynce]

1793986

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it and I apologize for any inconvenience it caused you on the train

[The Princess Rarity]

... not gonna cry... not gonna cry... not gonna cry...

[SolidFire]

This was a very sad story. I am not sure though, what earns a story the "Tragedy" tag? This was excellent, I look forward to reading more by you in the future. Keep up the great writing!

[Sour_Spot]

Oh my god... WHO PUT ONIONS HERE!!!!!

[vinviasshine]

This is so sad