- Member Since 14th Apr, 2018
- offline last seen Jul 12th, 2023
Centurion Pike-Wall
Vini, Vidi, Volume Enim Mansi. (Translation: I came, I saw, I stayed for the stories.)
Centurion Pike-Wall
Joined 14th Apr, 2018 ·
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You forgot to put ‘do’ after loyalty in your short description, I’m only saying this because when people consider reading a story, they look at the grammar in the short and long descriptions to judge how you write, and having just a single error in a description can turn some people away.
Other than that though, interesting story. I didn’t read the original that this is supposed to be a rewrite of, not sure how that was compared to this one. Also, I’m not exactly a fan of Rainbow Dash, with few exceptions. Despite that, gotten me interested in this story, well done. I’ll be keeping an eye on this one.
I like it
so in the previous chapter when Rainbow confronted and attacked Cadence, Chrysalis must have swapped the real Cadence for her erasing her memories in the process or she's playing dumb and faking being in a coma
9364959
All will be revealed soon.
Wouldn't it be interesting if when they try to get RD back they ultimately end up teaming up with Chrysalis because....
TIREK have taken up nearly all of the magic, and since (theory) the changelings feed of the magically charged emotions like love, they team up with the ponies to not starve.
Since the elements are fractured/broken, they're not sent to help the empire when it appears. Thus Sombra conquers the empire and starts a war where ponies safe worth as slaves, but changelings are not (due to reasons...). This force the changelings to join forces with the ponies or face genocide.
When they finally find RD, what will she think...
Are they there for their own salvation or their guilt.
Is there any loyalty left at all or have RD made new bonds of loyalties?
Btw... looking forward to the next chapter!
9378350
Hmmm...Interesting. Very interesting.
This is all on Celestia's head, for being a ruler of Equestria she made so many mistakes., Sunset, how she handled sending the elements to do all the dirty work, and now the wedding and finally how she handled all this.
I hope in the end she steps down when it all revealed. I hope Rainbow turns her back on Fluttershy, as she destroyed what friendship she had.
you know I hope they realize how much they bucked up
The Mane Five think Dash is lying too. And you’ve officially lost me. Bye everypony, have fun being imprisoned and enslaved once the Queen destroys your kingdom.
Enjoy karma Mane Five Backstabbers and Sunbutt. I hope Rainbow Dash gets a better new life away from a doom kingdom.
9385544
Have you read the title?
In all due reality, things will get better for her. It will be a while, but it will happen.
9385765 Yes I know the title.
..........clipartmax.com/png/middle/290-2907148_big-macintosh-eeyup-big-mac-mlp-eeyup.png
Just as I thought. Well, goodbye Equestria. Hope this country as a whole had a wonderful, peaceful life. Because, the next time we see you in this story,
Alright, not sure if I will enjoy the Interluds, but I think you where writing pretty good.
Okay I noticed this a bit later but I guess there is not harm in coming in late since this is more or less the same anyway.
Well I see and try to fit in some time for the chapters, I just hope this feels fresh enough to not feel like work when I read it.
I just took a short reading break lately because I somehow wasn't really in the mood to read the big amount of stories I had read before, yep something like that let's keep it at that.
edit: Well the first chapter starts rather interessting again, I guess I don't remember so much from that.
Oh I think I remembered something, I hope this won't go exactly in the same direction with the never ending suffering. I think at some point I expected her to be able to settle down somewhere and maybe have their adventures there, at least if there should be a sequel in which maybe the next big thing could have happened.
I hope this was really Chrysalis and she just managed to fool the others. That and I hope them being mean to Rainbow later will not be some kind of evil magic, but them really being assholes. I still want them to learn their lession that they could or should have learned last chapter by maybe hearing about Rainbow a few years later again.
So far it's nice but I can'T stop reading till I know what is going to happen to her I guess.^^
9364962
While I thought about that too, what he suggested I mean, I hope it's Chrysalis faking it.
Resisting Arrest?
I think she was knocked out and tossed in their not asked or something like that.
Nice, now I'm just expect to be angry abour the other characters not defending her but that is not bad, it's the....good kind of hate?
Well like when you see a main char fighting a Villain and actually hate what he had done but of course not the anime or the auhtor for it if you know what I mean.
I think I liked it more when she was kind of hunted and stuff like that. Now it looks like you want us to forgive the main six easier in the future.
I hope you didn't got the idea you did something wrong just because we where against the main six or Celestia for the memory deleeting thing. I like it when they feel like a good Villain but when it's still not to much. I'm always excited for the moment when they get to feel what they did was wrong.
Will there be any scene at all where they have to interact with her again ?
In some situations I'm never really sure if I like how the stare is used, like when they talk as if it really has that magic stop (paralyse effect.) One example would be is when she would be able to use that on characters from different worlds or the evilest villains.
9386326
I just hope her living a better life won't just be 2 chapters of the story or that there is a second book to the story.
She could have said something like "in ten years when your old enough I will be at the borders to Equestria and wait for you if you still want to follow me.", or something like that.
I think I forgot to put a spoiler over one of my earlier comments but I'm not sure if it's needed since you have both stories online.
i will take a look when I'm finished.
I thought a guide was supposed to escort her but they just teleport her somewhere she won't remember or have any kind of knowledge from which direction she came from?
It's like "Here is your `"I hope you survive gift basket", just without anything to eat and stuff like that right?
I don't give a dam that Chrysalis may of had a hand in this, i hope Rainbow bucks Celestia and her former friends hard!
Her dream was taken away forever, i hope the elements and Celestia lose a great amount of respect and status in the end.
I'm still not the biggest fan of Faust being everywhere in the stories, but it's only a small thing now.
Nice chapter, good to see that it seems lika Luna was on her side even if I'm not sure if she really is, she seems at least more willing to listen and aknowledge the good in Rainbow.
I like it that she is not her typical fanfiction self and that she does stuff different than her sister.
I still hope this comes back and bites the elements or Celestia in the ass later.
9406333
I agree, that was as if Celestia would order her death because she accidently ate the wrong piece of cake which was meant for Celestia.
I don't mean the author should change anything with that, I just hope that they kind of get what they deserve at some point. That was what I already waited for in the original.
9406333
Oh trust me. I have a huge, HUGE hunch that sooner in this story, we'll see Equestria as nothing more than a reduced, changeling-inhabited wasteland with either forced or corrupted pony salves to the Queen and her subjects. And as for Celestia and the element-bearers; for me, it will end for them as much as you'd expect in these kind of stories: with them locked a dungeon/cell, completely drained of their powers, leaving them to wonder how and why they failed so miserably. Till then, I've have popcorn on standby.
oh please please PLEASE having Chrysalis gloat over the princesses and Shining and Cadence and the mane five over how she turned them into stupid morons so easily.
9421083
Only time will tell.
So, It appears after Rainbow attacked "Cadance", Chrysalis used the real Cadance to trick all the ponies, thinking she attacked the real Cadance and is now feeding the rest of her love after she took the form of Celestia herself? Chrysalis,
coubsecure-s.akamaihd.net/get/b173/p/coub/simple/cw_timeline_pic/66a2f087d5c/e852c0a38f63c4696dfe5/big_1499058993_image.jpg
You magnificent bastard, I READ YOUR BOOK!
Anyways, take it away, Bender.
cdn.dribbble.com/users/458522/screenshots/2375875/futurama___bender___dribbbler.jpg
Welp, they're boned. They are so strongly boned.
9421394
No, actually. I made this as clear as possible i thought, but oh well. The changlings are leaving. They stole a great deal of love, but for now, to avoid being caught, they are leaving under the distraction of Rainbows trial.
As for what Antenna did to Celestia, she manipulated her with magic to make her more susceptible to suggestion; that suggestion being to basically screw dash over. Sorry for the confusion.
9421471
Oh I get it. In other words, Chrysalis and them left to avoid getting caught since they were at great risk, put the real Cadance in place and have one of her subordinates manipulate the real Celestia into thinking that Dash actually attacked Cadance herself when it was her...Like I said, A magnificent Bastard. But in the end, it doesn't matter. Hope Equestria enjoy their time having a princess in charge because, soon a queen is going to be taking the throne. And not the happy, peaceful type.
This is getting exiting..
There's no enemy more dangerous than the one you make by betraying a friend or loved one. Good luck Equestria... you'll need it.
I REALLY want to see everyone realize they fucked up by not believing Rainbow and that Chrysalis tricked them but I know the author is gonna take weeks at most before revealing.
Sad but necessary
9426183
I want the same, I like what happened so far, but such a scene would make everything much more satisfying.
However I really want them to try to get her back once maybe, but Rainbow not trusting them again.
Maybe in a far...far future, but for a long and I mean long while, I would like Rianbow to make them noticed they really fucked up, just like you said.
Don’t worry, Dash. You won’t go to Tartarus. But, they will. Soon, they will know what it’s like to have Tartarus on Earth.
I love to Rainbow return the brand to Celestia and Chrysalis, Celestia be easy get some dry ice and col burn the mark.
It'll be funny if or when they find the spells on everypony and come crawling to rainbowdash for forgiveness.
That’s it?
9429930
Well, for this chapter, yea. Why?
9429933
Well the ratings are disabled so I figured this story had some kind of extreme content you were getting flamed for. I didn’t expect an entire chapter dedicated to RD waking up, feeling mad and describing the weather.
So Celestia also ruined her body with a not removable tatoo?
I also hope everyone that did her wrong, needs to face the music sooner or later.
9429938
Oh, if you were looking for that, don't worry. That's coming later.
I kinda want to see how the Mane 5 are doing. Twilight would have to remember the time they had between her and Rainbow while she was tranced right? Otherwise it would be her crying on Cadence and seeing the green glow from her horn then suddenly in the alley behind Donut Joes. Wouldn't that raise a few suspicions considering Shining Armor was facing similar problems and he actually had a barrier up? Also what about the fact that Twilight knew something was off about Cadence beforehand, and reminder she knew Cadence pretty much all her life as a cheerful, peppy, alicorn with great advice. So to just suddenly turn into a snobby, uptight bitch without a second thought? Very peculiar.....
I really think the seeds of doubt and guilt should come into play here. Considering that Rainbow was the most loyal out of all of them even when she acted like a idiot and still defended her friends.
Also, HOW WAS HER TRIAL STATEMENT IRRELEVANT TO THE CASE?! Seriously Celestia did you have your own head stuck up that cake engorged ass of yours that you forgot that everyone has their right to say the truth and that all comments and answers should be considered evidence?! What the ever living fuck is wrong with you?!
If Equestria falls in this then Rainbow has to come save their sorry asses I'll be glad cause then they'll realize their mistakes and by then a simple sorry and ask for forgiveness is out the fucking window.
Sorry
needed to vent the issues..
Oh my god I fucking love this. Exiled fics are my fetish
9433570
what dash went through is called a kangaroo court. the whole thing was a show for the public.
9433570
I think that the best thing now for the story, is to firmly establish RD new life in this outlawland.
This way, when we come back to those left in Equestria, and their POV, it will be a natruall point to have a timeskip if the Author wish to use it.
For the Equestria crew, the could have one chapter dedicated for the immediate aftermath where they are still are set on RD's guilt.
Next - where the fallout between those who belived in her guilt and those who didn't.
Third - A new problem rears it's head towards Equstria.
(alternativ...where doubt starts to set in on those who belived in her guilt. And they start to properly research the event.)
Fourth - Timeskip to RD, and soon she hears about the Equestrias new problem. Not her problem...
The changelings get affected be this new problem and Chrysalis more or less tells the Equestrian crew they needs (all of) the elements to fix this.
To get them agree to restore the elements, she admit to how she set up RD.... the big Fallout starts to set in. They try to search for RD.
Good chapter.
I haven't read this yet, but the title intrigues me. Is it from My Chemical Romance's "Welcome To The Black Parade"?
9438821
Um, no. Never even heard of them.
Ohhhh boy she need more food soon. will she become omnivorous or carnivorous .
Well that escalated quickly
Meh.
Things are getting interesting
9444827
What do you mean?