• Member Since 26th Jan, 2018
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

thedarktome


Most stories will be based around Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Sci-Twi, and Scootaloo!

T

Rainbow has a lot of things going for her. And she should. She has friends, family, she's one of the Elements of Harmony, and she has her best friend Fluttershy. But what would happen.......if they all didn't want to be around her anymore? Even Fluttershy?

*P.S. Twilight is not a princess in this, even though it is after season seven. Just thought I'd put that in there.*



How do you guys like my new cover? I think it looks great and portrays the image of the main character very well! Tell me what you think in a comment!


URGENT AS OF MARCH 28th, 2018!!! Read Here NOW!!!

Chapters (36)
Comments ( 271 )

Oh joy. Adaptional Jack Assery instead of an actually good plot device. Skiiiiiiiip.

One nitpick I have for this story?

The Element of Loyalty is RED, not BLUE.

The only one of the Elements that is blue is the Element of Laughter.

And that's Pinkie's.

I think you might want to do some more research BEFORE you post a story like this.

Fun Fact. According to some sources, Rainbow's house is called the Cloudominium.

8776469
Thanks for letting me know. I've been having trouble with that.

8776858
It'll probably be up at around 5 PM EST. I'm actually enjoying writing this story! I never know what I'm gonna put in it, I just let what I see in my mind happen. :scootangel:

8777503
:rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: :rainbowlaugh: Sorry for the lateness of the chapter. I didn't realize my other fanfictions were going to take so long to complete. It'll be up between seven or eight

Ok I just finished your latest chapter and I must say I'm loving it so far, yes I'll admit in the beginning it was rather ehhh mediocre but up to the part of RD leaving really caught my interest. I thought this was going to be one of those short stories where RD runs away and after a while she returns due to some big event or coming threat only to forgive her friends for the sake of taking on the threat or event, but after those next few chapters I was like wow on how long it takes the pegasi to do their job or how they couldn't function without RD due to her being the manager of the team there, and how she reinvented herself and just blew up on the paint scene. I also figured something out, all of this is Twilight’s fault, now now before all of the Twli lovers out there get the pitch forks let me explain myself, that whole mess with the magic spell could have been prevented if she waited for all of them arrived (RD included) and then do the spell but no she wanted to test out the spell without letting RD know about her performing said spell hence the chain of events on which occurred. I BET RD will be pointing that out in the later chapters. There is however one thing that I disliked and that's on 6th chapter where Tia goes along with Twilight on finding who it PS really is, would of thought she would have said something on the line of “No, whoever she was in the past is for her to reveal, as she said she is not some threat to any pony so there is no reason to treat this as if she is, so we will respect her privacy, but I would like you to continue to reach out to her and show her how precious friendship truly is.” or leave after PS leaves and then have Twilight try to find out who she is,but I think you have an idea on how that will turn out, either bad and have PS tell off all who are involved or something else, regardless keep up the great work.

8778938
Can I just say.....I love how you were able to figure it out so far without actually reading too much into it. Most people don't do that. I applaud you.

8778998
Thanks! Another chapter up by seven! :scootangel:

"I know she said not to go digging," Twilight said, finally breaking the silence that lasted a minute and a half. "But I'm going digging. From what she's told us there is a pony trapped in her body."
"Sounds like the Elements of Harmony need to come back into play," Rarity agreed. "But what exactly are we looking for?"

It feels like they read into that too much. Seriously, it's not like there's two physically different ponies in there. That's just how some minds (albeit, maybe not many) work--they form a sort of double personality under stress, or when they get upset or angry. This kinda becomes a moot point, what with the whole scene at the end of this chapter, but if it weren't for that, I would say the Elements are so not necessary for this. No matter you might want to believe they are, Twilight, magic and the Elements are not always the answer to everything.
I'm in no way an expert in psychology and stuff similar to that, so I could be wrong, but I still think the Bearers are planning to go too far, because THEY don't know about what happened in the last scene.

8778938

I totally agree with you. RD might've been the one who distracted her, but Twilight was the one who didn't warn her not to. And it's not like RD crashed in; she walked in through the front door with no knowledge of what was happening.
I also think Celestia should've stopped Twilight from digging. Seriously. Some respect for your little ponies' privacy?

I'm really enjoying the growing relationship between Pencil and Buff. I wonder how it will be affected once the reveal of Pencil true identity comes out.

You've improved in your writing and its shown. Nicely done my friend! I'm really looking forward to the next chapter.

8781039
Thank you very much. I'm trying to make it as good and vivid as possible. New chapter up now!

I wounder who it could be hint hint

Comment posted by WhitewolfStormrunner deleted Apr 14th, 2018

8781354
Thank you for telling me. I'll fix that for you.:twilightblush:

8781423 Okay, thanks.

But you mentioned it being blue in another chapter (can't remember just which one, atm), so you might want to go back and fix that, too.

8781548
Thanks for letting me know. I'll apply some corrections later on this afternoon.

8781608 You're very welcome; always glad to help a fellow writer.:twilightsmile:

Great chapter! I like what you did with the small Twilight and dark magic bit as well.

Pencil could easily defeat him, already realizing the limits of chaos magic. It could only affect a real pony. But just like what she told the Elements, she was the shadow of a pony. A different look and attitude. But she still had pieces of Rainbow Dash. Loyalty, stamina, fighting, and the most important asset of all, speed. Not to mention all that built up anger.

Maybe Discord can only mess with a 'real pony.' But he's still the Lord of Chaos. So powerful even the Princesses couldn't defeat him without the help of the Elements? He can just animate nearby objects, and make them interact with her. Any indirect magic should still affect her, regardless of whether or not she was 'the shadow of a pony.'

"HOW DID SHE DO THAT?!" Twilight yelled, watching as it floated over joined the other elements in circling the mysterious heroine. She floated up into the air before the elements went faster and faster, creating a rainbow colored blur around her body.
"Goodnight Discord!" She yelled down to him through the suit before the light fired towards his form, making him yell in defeat.

Um. I don't think that's how the Elements work. There's a reason they're called the Elements of HARMONY. All the Bearers have to work together to make them work. Plus, I think it's pretty safe to say that RD and the Bearers are no longer in harmony. And RD is technically only connected to the Element of Loyalty. She doesn't really have any control over the other Elements.

Why do I have this sneaking suspicion that this whole new identity “Pencil Sketch” is gonna go too far and Dash will hurt the others the same way, or even worse than how they hurt her? Technically Sketch did save Twi and them from Discord, but it wasn’t out of concern for their safety. Also, with Sketch solo taking care of Discord in both combat prowess and (somehow) using the Elements all on her own (still not entirely sure I buy that as RD and the others aren’t currently in harmony with each other), that would have left Twi and the others utterly humiliated in front of... everyone. Time will tell. Curious for more.

Dun Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.............
Clifhanger!:pinkiegasp:

OK I can totally say that I was not expecting her reveal to be this soon but ehh now it's time to see how they'll react to this, of course they'll be mad and apologize but you gotta put this for RD/Pencil Sketch,to me it'll have a great effect to her point.
"You're sorry..?" The mare chuckles but then shouts "You're sorry!"
all of the elements flinched at her little out burst as she continues in a normal toned level,
"Of course you're sorry, every pony who's hurt some pony is always sorry after the deed is done, the problem is did you learn anything from it, obviously not"

"I'm not sure. Probably just leave her alone. It depends on what she uses it for. But that would explain why she was able to detect my scanning. It pierced through her aura of dark magic, making her feel it! THAT'S IT! " Twilight turned around and faced the group. "She felt my magic because it pierced through her layer of fark magic, causing a shift! And she felt that shift!"

In the second last sentence, I think you meant to say dark, not fark.

"Hello, again.....egghead."

Lol

8783073
Thanks for letting me know! It's been fixed! :scootangel:

I think Scootaloo is gonna have a big role to play yet. In becoming Pencil Sketch, Dash pretty much abandoned her.

"That what I'm best at ISN'T magic and that it's something else!"

"Twilight, I think you're just stressed over Rainbow," Applejack said calmly, patting the spot TWilight was just sitting on. "Have a seat and calm down."

"No!" She trotted towards the door and opened it, letting in the hot heat of the day before walking out with a goal in mind. To prove Pencil Sketch wrong. "And where the heck is Rainbow?!"

Uh, isn't that kind of a good thing? If Twilight's already skilled at magic, and this means that she'll be EVEN BETTER at something else, then just imagine how amazing she'd be doing that something else.

8784125
Since Twilight is obsessed with magic, her studies in magic, and Starswirl the Bearded, she has practically laid down her whole life for it. But for her to discover that there's another talent out there that she is far better at, she takes it as an insult since she's worked on magic her whole life, only to find out that she's better at something else she doesn't even know about.

It's pretty deep and complicated.

8784252
I can understand that. But if Pencil's whole idea about Cutie Marks is true (personally, I'm in favor of the idea that they're based around what they love most), then I hope Twilight will see the other side of it. Because then she'll be great in at least two things.

Rainbow needs to forgive her friends I sure they feel like crap
Also you can’t end a friendship over this ether

Can’t wait for more!!!

PLEASE tell me that this romance isn’t going to last long....

“This will not end well...”

Do what you do best and be honest, AJ. This is gonna end horribly... for Twi and them. Seriously is Twi trying to get hers and the Elements’ reputations ruined? :twilightoops:

Excellent can't wait for more:trollestia: Twilight screwed up big time. And I bet when the ponies and Celestia hear about this they not going to be happy. Pencil Sketch way about she talk about cutie marks makes sense and I believe the ponies will follow her lead. That just my opinion. Anyway excellent chapter:moustache:

"I am a mage! And you can't tell me I'm not!"
"Then why are you taking it so hard if I can't tell you you're not?" Twilight ran over and bucked, completely missing before Pencil teleported the both of them outside in the backyard, where she landed on the grass and Twilight landed in the pool. "Maybe you need to cool off." Twilight teleported next to her again and hit her in the face, forcing her face to the side.
"You cannot tell ponies who they can or cannot be, Rainbow! That is so offensive!" She yelled, ignoring Pencil's protests.

Touché.

Also, Twilight, trying to buck Pencil, hitting her, yelling at her, ignoring her protests, attacking her for stating her opinion? None of that is going to help win Dash back. If there was a chance of relationships being mended before, I'd say there's absolutely none now. Zero. Nada. You've pretty much burned all the bridges (and in this case, there was a single, fairly flimsy rope that was serving in place of a bridge)

On a related note, Twilight could now be legally thrown in jail, if Pencil chose to press charges. She has counts of assault, trespassing, breaking-and-entering (though considering she teleported, it's not quite "breaking"), and there's probably an Equestrian law somewhere that states that Unicorns may not use their magic in a harmful manner to others. Plus more that I might have missed.

"Not ta' mention stupid!" Applejack yelled, stomping her right hoof. "We're trying ta' bring Rainbow back and if she attacks her, we'll only drive her away."

"Well.....this is just perfect!" He yelled, throwing down his duster and walking over to Twilight. "Do you see what you just did?! We wanted to get her back, now she doesn't want to see any of us! AT ALL! All because you, with your stubborn mind to not leave ponies alone, decided to go over and confront her on her views! You're a freakin' extremist, Twilight! Your brother is so gonna tan your hide. Realllly bad."

I rest my case.

I think Twilight's problem is she is focusing on the 'Magic is not my best trait!' thing, rather then actually listening to what Rainbow is saying. Rainbow isn't 100% right, for some ponies their special talent may in fact be the thing they love most. even if they do have other impressive skills outside the mark. But that doesn't mean the mark is the end all be all of a pony and they should still appreciate their other talents as well, instead of pigeon holing themselves into one type of career and nothing else due to their mark.

Looks like I’m playing Devil’s Advocate here but Twilight’s frustration actually is justified. She lives for magic; she’s happy with her cutie mark and what it means in her life. Pencil Sketch is basically trying to tell her that she shouldn’t be happy in “settling.” In the grand scheme of things, with as much influence as Pencil would have being the famous millionaire painter she’s become, her views have potential to tear Equestria asunder along ideological lines from which it may never recover. She knows that, so points to her for not truly wanting that to happen. I’m still not exactly rooting for her though.

Now, Twilight, let’s talk about trespassing and assault...

Hm.. Do you plan on upping the rating..? Looks like its moving towards T

8811896
Maybe, I'll have to see if there will be more altercations in the future. I'm not saying it won't but it's fifty fifty.

There are only two things I have a problem with Spike being mistreated in the story.
1

"Okay, let's see." She levitated the books over and dropped them on Spike's comic, making him gasp in horror.

"Twilight....my book-"

"It's okay, I know this is hard to find but, we can find it together, Spike," she interrupted, definitely not understanding where he was getting at.

2

Twilight looked at him oddly, cocking her head to the side in confusion. "Why were you in there?"

"Pinkie keeps thinking I'm a mole and is trying to whack me-EEP!" Spike dived back inside the hay right when a wooden sledgehammer landed where he was not even seconds before. "Twilight, stop her!"

The purple unicorn just stared before going back to the situation at hand.

She doesn't seem to care when she dropped the book on his comic. And doesn't help him when Pinkie Pie was attacking him.

The only good thing about spike in the story when he told Twilight off.

Well.....this is just perfect!" He yelled, throwing down his duster and walking over to Twilight. "Do you see what you just did?! We wanted to get her back, now she doesn't want to see any of us! AT ALL! All because you, with your stubborn mind to not leave ponies alone, decided to go over and confront her on her views! You're a freakin' extremist, Twilight! Your brother is so gonna tan your hide. Realllly bad."

I'm sorry but if Twilight keep this up and being rude to him like this I have a feeling that Spike will go with Pencil Sketch who will give him a chance after hearing his side of the story and become her assistant and without a doubt help her spread the word about her belief about the cutie marks.

Please don't judge me it's just my opinion.:moustache:

What I would like to see is showing how Pencil Sketch's paintings are starting to affect Equestria. She paints to bring inspiration to other ponies and encourage them to do hobbies or jobs beyond what their Cutie Mark is telling them.

Remember this line?

"In other words....your cutie mark shows you what you're good at, NOT what you're best at," Pencil continued. "You have to find that on your own, like I had to. I bet all of you have a hobby that you've never actually pursued because you think that your cutie mark is the only thing you can do. But I bet, somewhere in those smart minds of yours, you can achieve at greater things. You know it."

"Of course! That's why my sales haven't actually gone higher than they are!" Fancy Pants exclaimed. "Because I'm limiting myself!"

Small spoiler from season 7
There was a time in the show where Rumble didn't want to get his Cutie Mark because he thought after getting it, he'd be stuck doing that same hobby for the rest of his life and never explore other abilities. I can see him as a good follower to those paintings.

I want to see effects like that with other ponies, have the CMC, or the other Mane Six see how that's affecting other ponies' lives, whether it's a positive effect or a negative effect.

8830180
Good Idea! I'll add that to the plot! It'll take some time though.

won't lie, walked into this one with zero expectations... Walking out begging for more...:heart:

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