Five thousand years after leaving her planet, the Alicorn Twilight Sparkle travels the depths of space on personal quest. But she soon finds that this mission is one that she can not accomplish on her own.
Twice before, Astral Plane has run afoul of powerful beings known as Celestials. When it happens a third time, he finds himself dragged into one mare's search for answers, and her friends.
Now on a hunt for targets spread throughout the galaxy, he must find ways to survive unexpected dangers, lead a group that grows crazier with every passing day, and learn to live and work beside the embodiment of everything he despises.
From the Author of the slightly Popular Fic "My Little Dragon," comes a Brand-New, Action-Packed, Science-Fiction Adventure. Tags will be changing as the story grows, and the cast and tone shift and change. Where will it all end up? Read it and see!
" There was only crew member here, though." Crew members? here
"If there gravity to hold him, he would have fallen to his knees. He felt weak, and he wasn't sure it was all from the head wound." If there was?
Interesting start, and you did the approach very strongly here.
Telepathy is a real two edged sword, and its nice to see it done right here.
You have a good start here with this. I hope you can give it a good run for the money.
6215006 Thank you. I've been working on it for a while, and I think it gets better later on in the story, but it seems like the responses are pretty close to tied between positive and negative. I guess we'll see if it picks up.
6215810 I think the downvotes are from folks who are seeing the approach you have to twilight. There are many strong twilight defenders as what seems to be an antagonist. But I love a good space opera style setting.
Well this is looking cool.
6215833 They must not have read the part where she paid his medical bills, then made a big donation to the hospital.
6216240 Thank you for giving it a chance.
I once read a book that had a cool premise but it didn't get interesting until a hundred pages in. I enjoyed it in the end. This was interesting immediately. I might consider volunteering to edit for you depending on how life goes for me over the next few days.
6216262 Yup, but to some, i can see how they might go bleh.
But a shame on you to tease her there, and not let them talk. But eh, at least its going to be fun to see whom id bet is likely a bird of a different feather here.
6216411 I have 27 chapters in need of editing. Keep that in mind before volunteering.
6217818 It's not that bad as long as I keep ahead of your update schedule. I think I'll go ahead and decide when I get home.
6217915 Once a week updates, but not the same story every week. There shouldn't really be much to edit though, my average seems to be one mistake per 2,000 words. But having any confusing points in the story pointed out would be helpful too.
Whatever you decide, thanks for the offer.
6218102 That works. I can handle that. In any case it'd be nice to remedy issues such as when you use can instead of can't. >_> I'll send a pm.
I came here for the tags; Romance, Big Mac and Rainbow Dash .. lets see if my hopes are included
6222638 Uh oh. I have another story that may interest you then.
6224042 Oooh really?
Though even if MacinDash isn't in this one, I'm liking it very much so far
6226086 The first Fic I wrote, Earth and Sky. It's funny, I started writing it as a joke because I thought the whole premise of was stupid. Look at me now, 8 stories published, the same number or more that I never did, and a few hundred thousand words of pony fiction written. All from being bored in bed with a cold.
Out of all this. I can see him walking. He'd never willingly work with the painted celestials i think. If he learned he was and tricked into it, i can see him taking a direct way out of it. with a rather direct means to the cerebellum.
There's enough subterfuge, and ones there to ensure that they are going out for the recruiting speech quite heavily. That should set some rather big warning flags..
This story seems interesting. Hope to see more of it.
The characters are interesting.
Seems like Ribbon is more athletic than expected.
Wow, I didn't expected Ribbon to be that related to RD.
OK, this is starting to get cryptic. Wonder how Big Mac ended in the future and what the new Luna's connection to Astral's past and future. Still, you earned yourself a favorite. Hope to see more of this story.
Excellent
Who are you?
What do you want?
Where are you going?
Who do you serve?
And who do you trust?
Oooh interesting
Wow, I didn't expected that the enemy would consist of fake alicorns. Still, interesting backstory, man. Hope to see more of this.
So you are going with twilight being a false alicorn. So you have luna/celestia/cadence and what im thinking is an ascended sombra?
Oddly enough, is the telepathy thing, trained or natural a bit of a genetic offshoot of cadence's line?
Ah, so mac's fully behind the group here, enough to sucker punch astral. At least you have a clear line of fire who you leave behind when crap hits the fan. Its funny, but the more they share, really the more the lot are better left to their own devices when the crap hits the fan. They haven't proven worth any trust here. Well, twilight and mac haven't. Sure, she paid the bills, But she did inflict the same. As for silver, well, jury's out there, she's just the messenger/proxy still.
Given how they are pretty willing to use him to do what they want. I dunno, I'm trying to figure why he is staying, with the choices shown so far.
Nooooo .... BibleThump ... i.imgur.com/IWcT8Fb.jpg?fb
6265988 I just realized I made a mistake in the writing. In my first draft of this, when Mac sucker punched Astral, he had his gun drawn. I forgot I changed that.
6266349 Huh?
6265988 Still, mac knows about the pistol hidden in the jacket, and he unzipped the jacket as he spun.
6266505 Glad I could help with the writing accidentally haha. But yeah, twilight and mac are painting a bit more of a very bad image of themselves at this juncture, though I get why each is doing a bit of what they are. There still is the option of walking he has, given the nature of luna's 'gift' in the ship regardless.
6266349 Iiiiiisaaaaaac! Don't go breaking my heart!
Wow, I wonder if the rest of the main 6 are still in their chambers
You say quite a bit here, but I note that astral here is going looking to be given 'the choice' and used to his full extent. Though, at least it wont sting so bad when mac decides to twist things. Looking forward to the meeting.
Great chapter
(Damn, FlutterMac
)
Man, the dynamic between Twilight and Astral in this chapter was pure gold. Furthermore, Celestia, Luna, Chrysalis, and Discord's roles in the galaxy are interesting. Hope to see more of this story, particularly to see if Chrysalis wins the bet.
Ooops, Luna you little trickster
Huh, quite the unexpected update times three.. And where times shall go, we will see.
Love how Twilight and Astral bicker like an old married couple.
It's really entertaining to read how a Twilight and Astral bond in this chapter. His thoughts about her, the pinball incident, and Twilight's reaction to Astral's new pet (Love the drawing) were funny and showed that Twilight is still adorkable.
Astright is new ship haha
need more pleas
Nice to see Granny Smith.
Man, Celestia really had it bad. On the other hand, it was funny to see Twilight and Astral being caught in a scandal magazine.
Gotta say, I didn't expected Big Mac to had been that close to Twilight in the past. Growl's giggly self when remembering how she (violently) met James was funny. Hope to see more of this story.
Growl and James story of romance suddenly reminds me of Georg's The Dance.
OMG How shall granny react to finding out Mac's alive
I love the way you write Cryssi, she's still got her "Bad" persona, but she's so likable