"Finally, I have you right where I want you, you little rat! Prepare to learn how it feels to lose your head over something!"
Nick sweated nervously as he stared down the burning sword pointed at his face. Fear crept up his back as possible escape routes flew through his mind, knowing one misstep would mean his death. Celestia and Luna weren't doing any better, one passed out from the pain and the other bleeding from deep wounds that would never fully heal. Truly, this was the trio's darkest hour, their lives hanging by a thread…
"Be it our turn yet, Sparkle? We intend to use the barbarian's Steel thy soul ability to ignore our constitution check."
Twilight looked up from behind her gamemaster's divider. "Sorry Luna, it's not your turn yet and you already used Stoke the rage, and until that wears off in three turns you're stuck with it. Celestia, make a death saving throw."
Dice clattered across the table. "Sixteen."
Nick groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Yeah, that's great, but I'm the only one with a turn before the Sultan of Blades moves again, and he has a reaction prepped, so I'm done for even if I try something." He slammed his head down on the table, rattling a few pieces to and fro. Twilight's Ogres & Oubliettes games were always tough but fair, and it seemed she had gotten the better of them this time. Ten weeks of leveling up, down the drain.
"Are you four done being boring and non-chaotic in here yet? I can smell the rule-following all the way from Fluttershy's and if this keeps up… well, I can't exactly file a complaint since I'm allergic to bureaucracy, but rest assured there will be serious consequences related to a certain chaotic pony and a certain waterfowl ending up in your kitchen."
Most of the table quizzically turned to look at the new arrival, confused by the draconequus's non sequitur. Only Celestia truly understood the severity of that threat, and made a mental note to duck-proof her cake stash. One incident was enough.
Nick wasn't in the mood to deal with Discord's antics at the moment. "Don't you have anything better to do, you giant flying pool noodle? I'm trying to figure out how to get out of this situation."
"Do I have better things to do? Yes. Am I going to do them? No. Hello, princess purple drillhead!" Discord's head extended, stretching out like putty and arching over the table such that he was staring her right in the face, albeit upside down. "Who's winning? And what inning is it?"
"Discord! Remove thy wing from our face at once! We-" Luna was silenced by a feather from the wing in question shushing her. This only served to make her even more irritated, channeling her anger management classes to avoid slipping inti the Royal Canterlot Voice and blowing all the figurines off the table.
Twilight, on the other hoof, was having exactly none of Discord's antics. She glared back at him. "If you want to play, sit down and obey the rules of the game. If not, let me finish my session, please." Discord responded by sticking his tongue out and licking her muzzle. "Ew! Discord! Out!"
"Fine, fine." He snapped back to his normal size, slinking up and down like an accordion, before smiling at the group. "Good luck trying to fail, friends! The only thing that can help you at this point is a spirit and a letter!" With that odd pearl of wisdom dispensed, a pearl engraved with that message literally falling out of his mouth like a pez dispenser, Discord swiftly and promptly exited through the ceiling fan.
"Spirit and letter… try to fail…" Nick mumbled to himself, deep in thought.
"Nick?" Twilight shocked him out of his reverie. "It's your turn. Do you need a minute? Discord can be pretty distracting."
"I'm gonna make an attack roll. Specifically, my rogue skill Assassination."
"Art thou insane, Nicholas? The odds of that working are-"
"I aim to hit anywhere except the Sultan of blades, and elect to fail my roll. Ergo, I miss my target, hitting the sultan. Twilight, I roll 5d20 for damage to him plus an extra 2d20 since he's an equine target, right?"
"Wha- but-" Twilight tried to sputter put a response. "You can't do that! That's against the rules!"
"You let me voluntarily fail an attack roll last week to miss and intimidate a prisoner. I don't see how missing my strike at 'anywhere but the sultan' is any different, miss I-always-follow-the-rules."
"But-but-but-but-" The gears in Twilight's head spun at high speed. By all accounts, he was right, and given her strict adherence to the game rules, she all but had to comply. She sighed. "Ugh, fine. 7d20 damage. But never again."
"I'll hold you to that, Sparky. Maybe this'll finally teach you to lighten up on the rules." The dice clattered across the table twice as Nick rolled. "Desperate attack perk, I roll twice and take the higher damage. Let's see… I got 63 for this set…" Twilight grinned. It'd be close, but she could still- "...and 93 for the second." Twilight's stunned silence was all the answer he needed.
Um Celestia, I think I heard a quack coming from the kitchen. More specifically the gaint safe like door.
And I think I heard a stallion saying something about boom and potions.
And by the look on your face, I should probably be scared.
I love how Twilight's reasoning for trying to 'follow the rules' immediately backfires on her.
Perhaps they should have Spike be the Gamemaster next time so that Twilight doesn't try this again?
ORLY? This I must see!* (pokes Discord's middle with a pin coated in extract of Congress... immediately the draconequus begins to break out in hives... of actual bees... and clutch at his throat, gasping for air)
Kewl! (Alondro watches as Discord writhes on the floor in agony, recording the process of draconequues anaphylactic shock for SCIENCE!!)
*One draconequus was severely harmed during the making of this comment. Fortunately, he was immortal. Unfortunately, that meant he just suffered an unceasingly miserable divine immune reaction until he received an injection of Libertarian Reforms.
Two chapters in one week?! We are blessed!
Lol no idea what is happening but it sounds really funny
9872738 I'm just helping Arca create the perfect mane growth potion. I'm pretty sure adding some of Cousin It's DNA to the mix is the solution.
7d20 damage for one attack? Wow.
9872834
Well how much damage should lopping off a guy's head deal? 1d4?
That's happened to me too when I attempt to join a new D&D group or session at my local Comic-Shop, it either is too busy to play or everyone else is unable to join or play; we never seem to manage getting past level 3 before we all call it quits or move on to new things.
9872796
I'm trying to get back into the groove of things. I can't promise chapters every other day like I used to do, but I can still work on uploading more frequently.
how many pages backstory had the guy 300+ or something...
9872854
The correct answer is "not enough pages".
I do not know if you know roll20 but that’s a good site to search a party. There’s also the D&D Adventurers League, an ongoing organized play campaign, where you can create your character and bring that character to games anywhere D&D Adventurers League is supported. Everyone should have a chance to play a character beyond Level 5!!!!
Nice to see Nick figuring out What discord is suggesting and I'm guessing 93 on a 7d20 is pretty high to boot.
Twilight is a bad DM for trying to win at O&O.
9872846
Thank you!
…………….. I am very lost...…… what happened before hand?????
9872958
This chapter in a nutshell:
-Scene opens in the middle of a D&D session, Twilight is the dm but is a stickler for rules
-Discord shows up, clues Nick into a way to cheat without breaking the rules, then leaves via a light fixture
-Nick exploits loophole, Twilight Reeeees
-End of chapter
9872977
……………………………. i'm still lost. it's like listening to shelldon from the big bang theory.
I really want to get involved in D&D as well.
That un-named pony and duck isn't chaos that's guaranteed destruction
As a DM for the past 5 years I can verify that keeping a game together is hard, longest runner I’ve had though was a 2 year campaign that met bi weekly, so it’s totally possible, you just gotta strong arm people into coming sometimes, alternatively the shortest group I’ve had was a single hour so really it’s a roll of the dice on what your going to get, if you can’t find a group to join and your creativity from writing can spill over I feel you’ll have a wonderful time DMing, should you find you have the time
I'd love to get into D&D, but that requires a group...
9872854
320, including Stage Directions and flawless German. And the author only knew 2 words of German.
Discord... A DM's worst nightmare.
discordapp.com a DM's best friend!
He rolled D20s? Really?
9873486
By all accounts though that backstory was channeled by the author from some other eldritch source of frustration and insanity to beat an unbeatable game... and I think we just figured out the actual source
9873181
Some of us get lucky. I've been part of a group for over seven years now, though we've changed campaigns a couple times in that period. Right now we're about 3/4 through Dungeon of the Mad Mage, then we're starting up a new campaign with a homebrew world.
9872977
Have you thought about joining on Roll20? There are always several games running there you might get lucky and find one you enjoy!
9873625
He burned that shit, the world doesn't need that kind of evil.
THEM DEM MUCKLED ALICORNS TOOK MAH WEE MEN.
9872860
7d20. Minimum: 7 maximum 140. Rough average of about 77. 93 is on the higher side, but could be worse.
9894576
So twilight goofed big time.
Nice.
9894703
Seeing as I don't recognize the acronym, I'm going to tenetivly say "no"
I mean, if you're interested in playing D&D type stuff with Ponies, check out Ponyfinder. An entire setting with the normal pony races plus more. The Discord server for it has a channel where you can post that you're looking for a game too, if you don't mind playing online.
have you ever considered specifically looking for a group running high level adventures? I used to have a group that always started at level 10 and campaigns would go to level 20.
I mean I’ve got a .pdf of the white box... But I don’t think that’s the version ya want.
I love Discord when he is a true friend by annoying another one