The calm light of the moon illuminated the dark hallways of Canterlot Castle. For most of the the ponies, this meant the end of a successful, productive day. Only the night staff and guards remained, giving the whole palace a unique, mystical feel that only the night can truly provide.
Yet a certain someone was not happy. Laying in bed and staring at the ceiling, Nick groaned. "Ugh, I should not have had all that coffee earlier to help Celly with decoration ideas for Nightmare night. I'm gonna throw my whole schedule out of whack... thank goodness I dont need a real job here. If only I had some music, maybe I could sleep. Wait a minute, music..." a grin crept across his tired face. It might take all his energy to even get out of bed, and halfway to dreamland wasn't the best time for it, but there was pranking to do!
And so, the human set off into the bowels of the castle storerooms to find what he needed. It took about an hour of digging through old artifacts and documents to find the prize he desired. "Ah, here we are! I wonder, which of these is going to be the most useful here..." then he looked to his left, and his eyes widened. "Hello, what have we here..."
What a day! Celestia sighed into her bedsheets as she felt her stress leave her tired body. After putting up with nobles all week, it was finally friday night, so she could get some shut-eye. She curled up with her teddy bear and closed her eyes, a soft smile on her face as she drifted off to dreamland...
Suddenly, a massive blast of noise shook her out of her relaxation, shaking the room slightly as the unknown sound reverberated through the room. It was so startling and loud that Celestia nearly had a conniption thinking the kingdom was under attack again.
Celestia nearly fell flat on her face as she scrambled out of bed in a panic. Getting to her hooves over the cacophony of noise, she rushed forward and forced the balcony doors open, knocking a vase backwards from the force of the swinging frames.
The garden below was a mess. Much to her confusion (and likely to the upset of the ponies that cared for the gardens), the entire garden was covered in rainbow, glow-in-the-dark silly string, and it was EVERYWHERE. In the trees, under water in the fountain, even over the castle walls.
"What in tartarus is going on here?!" She exclaimed.
Looking down below, she found the reason her night had become so disturbed: One very familiar, irritating human with the one she thought she had buried so deep in the castle it would never be seen again: The 'quadruple-barreled, chaos causing turbo-tuba', as Discord had named it during his first reign of chaos.
Nick, however, seemed just as confused as she was. "Whoa! What the heck, this thing shoots silly string? I just thought it was a marching band tuba with two sound projectors instead of one! Oh boy, this is gonna be fun. Time for a concert! And a one, and a two, and a-" Nick took a deep breath and blew into the mouthpiece again, the four bells (where the sound comes out) began to rotate and spew silly string again as very bad, off-key tuba music played out of them. More and more silly string coated the garden as Nick paraded around, clearly pleased with himself.
Celestia flew down, ignoring the silly string getting caught in her fur and mane. "Nick! What are you doing? That is an artifact from the chaos wars, it is- in good grief, you can't hear me! NICK!" She didn't like having to pull out the royal canterlot voice, but she had to in order to catch his attention.
"Huh? Oh, hey Celestia! Look what I found! This thing is so cool! Look at how much fun it is to spray glowing silly string everywhere, the garden looks like a light show!"
"Nick..." Celestia brushed her now glowing mane out of her face. "That was created by Discord in order to... uh... well, mainly cause chaos and annoy Luna and I. Please stop, before you end up ruining the garden more than you have!"
Nick shrugged. "Oh, lighten up Celly. What's the worst that could happen?" As soon as the words left his mouth, the bells began to rotate, blasting horrible music and shooting glowing silly string straight into the sky in massive quantities, easily covering the entire castle before the 'song' ending triggered a final explosion of glitter glue to soak the entire garden, its occupants included, in neon plaid glitter.
"You had to say the trigger phrase, didn't you, Nick."
"Oh. Uh... oops. Hey, how is the glitter plaid? That shouldn't be possible."
"Discord."
"Fair enough. Guess a quick dip in the moat is in order... need to clean off anyway. I think I'm ready for bed now."
Celestia breathed a sigh or relief. "Thank goodness. I was hoping this would end fast. Why even use this, anyway?" She inquired, lifting the instrument in her magic.
"If I can't sleep, noone else can either."
As the pair carried the tuba back to the storage vaults, they passed through the throne room, recently cleaned by the staff in preparation for the upcoming Grand Galloping Gala. Nick smiled. "Hey, Celly?"
"What is it, Nick?"
"What's the worst that could happen?"
As the tuba started up again, primed to ruin the throne room, Nick dashed off, cackling maniacally. That night, a single, infuriated scream woke up all of Canterlot to join the human in his insomnia.
"NICK!!!!!"
Fimfic needs a Discord emoji. What's the worst that could happen?
I was laughing maniacally throughout this whole chapter
9243488
Really? I felt this was one of my weaker chapters. I want that tuba though.
9243539
Oh it was, I was still laughing maniacally throughout the whole chapter though
I want that tuba too... as long as the silly string doesn't smell like rotten eggs when it comes out of the tuba
9243561
Of course not! It smells like lasers!
9243566
Does the tuba sound like baby piglets riding a unicycle?
to help Celly woth decoration ideas [with] and Gott mit uns would I like to have that tuba at a
hoofballfootball game.9243570
Only on wednesdays
This was...... BUETIFULL
9243579
No, all of YOU are beautiful for bothering to read the garbage I write. Thanks, though!
9243576
Then when does it sound like a panda reading brass eldritch abominations
The shenaneganery is strong with this one... And the story is great.
Nick and Discord tag teaming against the sisters in a prank war. That would be hilarious.
9243780
Nah Nick backstabbing Discord by letting him think they'll tag team the sisters when they're in on it for one massive prank against him instead
oh my fucking GOD DAMN i Can't fucking breath please please make more chapters
9244067
You can't breathe? But then who's gonna handle the clarinet of unlimited shenanigans?!
Still, I'm glad you all enjoy the story. Not sure WHY you enjoy it, but... among as you're happy, right?
I hope Discord will appear in at least one chapter. But this chapter is sooooo funny, and I want that tuba as well.
9244409
Oh I'm well aware of the respiratory cleansing abilities of CS gas. Shit's brutal.
9244451
the whole thing was hard to breath but the last the clarinet of unlimited shenanigans part i went almost catatonic i felt like i couldn't move i was laughing so hard all i can
9245195
...I'm not sure whether to apologize or not... sorry?
9245201
no need it is the best thing to happen in a while looking forward 2 the next one
Dreamland*
That ending was hilarious
So is it two or four?
9488497
Yes.
How can it be both you ask?
It's Discord, making sense is the one thing he hates doing.
9488510
Though he is not as allergic to logic as pinkie as where ever discord goes you know there is going to be chaos where as pinkie...yeah she avoids logic like the plague
Human biography will be one huge Prank War...
Nice