- Member Since 11th Feb, 2014
- offline last seen 1 hour ago
CrimsonWolf360
My passions consume me https://ko-fi.com/crimsonwolf360 or https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4398966 if you wish to help them consume me further. Also I have a discord now https://discord.gg/BvKqTMEnjN
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A mature Tempest story that isn't just an excuse to ship her with Twiley? Thank you, God!
Very nicely done!
Heh, I just posted the first chapter of my own Tempest fic a few days ago. An interesting interpretation here, though I do have a few critiques. First off, the references to, I think, your other story are not necessary, it doesn't contribute to the story at all and I'm pretty sure is spoilers to those of us (ie, me) who haven't read it. The jump from third person narration to first person, though understandable considering the perspective, is rather jarring. Also, I'm just thinking besides the 'crap' that Tempest dropped in the middle of the story and perhaps some of more visceral descriptions during the fight, and maybe even with them, I think this story would be fine with a T rating rather than an M one, though don't quote me on that. Still might be an idea if you want to make your story more approachable and not hidden away behind the mature rating. Also:
You're having some issues with this sentence.
Anyways, my 2 cents. Still a good read, though things haven't really been resolved at the end. But that means there is still certainly more room to develop Tempest.
9442425
Well, since you don't follow me, I'm not surprised you don't get it. I explained before that the goal is to create a story universe where everything is connected, much like the MCU. So, I feel that the reference was very much needed as it cements this story as part of that universe. As for the rating, I just wanted to be on the safe side with that. My writing is more for a mature audience anyways. I really don't know what you're talking about with that sentence either. And lastly, yes, this story will be continued in a sequel that will incorporate The Discovery as well. Like I said, when I'm done, they'll all be connected.
9442469
Oh, I understand the desire to make an interconnected setting and what not, it's just that this particular story works just as well as a stand alone. Having an Easter egg or an off handed comment would be fine, it's just that in this case the reference is blatant enough to be distracting from the main focus of the story, which is Twilight and Tempest dealing with Tempest's issues. Sorry if I sound like an idiot who jumps into a story in the middle, as I said earlier I'm writing my own Tempest fic and been reading others to compare. If this story was meant to continue on in another story and tie more closer to your other story, perhaps this isn't really meant to be a one-shot? *shrug* Just offering suggestions.
Also you really don't see what wrong with that quote? The 'I' needs capitalized, and it's spelled 'Appleloosa' and 'Sandwich'.
The rating thing was just a thought, it's up to you really. Either way, it's a good look at Tempest and I may look at your main story at some point.
9442534
Ah, thank you for clarifying. I must've just read over that.
Only one chapter? I expected more.
9444788
Sequel?
9445167
Yes, please.
do you wanna know how I got these scars
Well...damn, that got pretty heavy there. VERY well put together man. This was probably one of, if not, the best Tempest related story I've read on here. I really liked her as a villain in the movie but (like you said) her reformation was just too quick. So that's why I really like the characterization that you added to her character in here. Well thought out
OH! And what is this I hear about David (Sky) and Mid getting married AND are on their honeymoon without us knowing?! I demand a spin off story or sequel regarding those events MISTER WOLF!
AND MAKE IT SNAPPY! (Or if that's okay with you, that would be nice pretty please? 
)
Keep up the good work my good man
9451531
I'm so glad you liked the story :D
Dont worry, I'm working on more Sky and Mid stories at the moment. It'll just take some time since I want to finish it before I start uploading. Theres also some more 1 shots in the works.
What's the DSU?
9790396
It's just the acronym for "the Discovery Story Universe". Basically, every story I've written has taken place in the same universe, starting with The Discovery.
The bright blue lightning caught him off guard and knocked him back. He did a complete somersault and landed on his back. His helmet fell off in the motion, and revealed his face completely. I saw two bright emerald eyes staring back at me as he processed what just happened. His blue coat gave way to white feathers on his head, and there were two distinct cobalt feathers jutting out of the top of his head. What really caught my attention was how terrified he looked...
-Classic mistake Tempest, don't ever, ever knock off the helmet/headgear. It let's you see that there's a living being underneath, instead of an enemy, that's why the only way to kill someone with a blow to the head is a headshot via a rifle, quick and easy, and you don't have to watch their eyes dull.
Great story!
I completely agree with how you portrayed Tempest's reaction after killing that guard. Soldiers forced to kill or be killed often experience guild afterwards, so I think that reaction would be completely natural for Tempest. She doesn't strike me as a psychopath.
Also, I've had the wallpaper version of the cover image in my wallpaper collection for quite a while now. Nice getting to know the story behind it (I've just now gotten around to read it
)
9972628
Thanks. Glad you liked the art and story :D
Well, I guess "near future" for me became about five months but finally got to this. I really liked this story and the backstory that it gave to the character of Tempest. Even though I knew it was inevitable to happen in the movie, I did feel that her reformation was rather sudden and abrupt. Yet, if she had already been sort of fed up or doubted the means she was going through to get her horn back, I could see getting betrayed as that final straw. Gonna be checking out the sequel to this soon. May also need to do a quick re-read to refresh myself on previous stories before getting to the current one being updated.
10016655
Glad you liked the story 😁
Please do read the sequel as itll keep you informed for the story currently being updated 😊
Also 5 months lol. I've been there
Wow. I really like this backstory for Tempest. You added so much to her character. Everyone has their reasons for their actions and you portrayed that very well here. I agree that her reformation in the movie was a bit forced. Add this story in, however, and things are much more believable. Thanks for sharing.
10221054
Glad you agree. I'm really proud of this story and how it turned out :D
That was a great character dissection. You really made Tempest a deeper character that I previously viewed her.
Interesting deepening of the character. good job.
10783349
Thank you :D
somewhere between tool's "Invincible" and "7empest" i cna't help but feel for tempest