Not telling Celestia that you've become the dark aprentice is going to cause some serious trouble when she eventually finds out. Oh hell, I can see that this is going to get very complicated, very fast.
So, since it appears Twilight isn't going to tell Celestia about the Dark Apprentice thing, I can say that it will probably happen at the WORST. POSSIBLE. TIME!
I admire your use of the sexy discretion shot. A lot of writers seem to think that once they've decided to write a clop story, they have to show every single little detail.
The most large and exotique molds are presented for thy perusal in yonder bad dragon catalogue, p. 224)
Somebody's been abusing the space/time continuum
“Was that something about deontological ethics?” Twilight asked, narrowing her eyes.
"I don't want no deontologists in my car."
SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE. Oh Celestia...
This chapter totally cracks me up. BTW, I really love your characterization of Luna. Characters who are simultaneously a) not villains, and b) advocate aggressively pursuing what you want (and provide a workable example themselves), are just way too rare.
I was half expecting the slip when Shiny confirmed that Celestia had called the Dark Apprentice a whore, for Twi to be hurt enough to blurt out "So I'm a whore?"
I really like this story so far, i was kinda worried that after making naughty with Luna everything will dissolve into smut but hooooo did you prove me wrong. It kinda feels like reading romance reports but with less drama and much more naughty humor me gusta. Aaaalso... "Dear Princess Celestia, So I slept with your sister last night and it gave me magical powers..." That line totally made me keel over
Luna in this reminds me of Romance Reports in a very good way.
Also, I read the blog post from 2 weeks back or so, and contemplated posting this there, but 'eh'. I don't know whether or not you're still demoralized by the negative feedback you got, but I wanted to give two pieces of advice that have helped me with handling negative feedback since long before I started writing. 1) Try your hardest to seek people's approval, but once everything's printed, don't care whether or not you receive it. The drive is the most important part, and for that you want to put the negative criticisms out of mind while you're writing. 2) Learn to sort useful criticism from useless criticism. This goes beyond ignoring people who flame you, this goes to being able to accurately judge whether the constructive criticism is in fact useful, or that their suggestion would cheapen or worsen your story.
Just.. No. Talk about shattering the immersion. I was enjoying it up till the bold print saying 'bad dragon catalogue' which, no matter what the reason you put it in, is such a maddening thing to do, that I refuse to continue reading your works.
"SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE" from now on every time Twilight decides to go something naughty I will see this pop up in my brain.
Not telling Celestia hmm this can go good, bad, sexy, and awesome + every combination of them.
When S.A. finds out that will be like a house falling on your head, and if Cadance is there at the time by Luna's plot there might be a lot of fun if Twilight decides to demonstrate what the Dark Apprentice is (Cadance might find that the fun has been doubled)
So I slept with your sister last night and it gave me magical powers...
The whole bit with Shining was hideously amusing, but that line right there? Written language itself was created so one day that line would exist. I totally lost my sh*t there.
1273414 And then Celestia does precisely what she is doing in your avatar.
so is this stock chapters you have written a while for hold, or are you on a role and getting this out?
Something tells me she's really going to end up regretting not writing that letter.
The whole thing with shinning armor and Celestia seems a bit contrived.
Not telling Celestia that you've become the dark aprentice is going to cause some serious trouble when she eventually finds out. Oh hell, I can see that this is going to get very complicated, very fast.
the last part killed me. "SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE." rofl
here i am about to close my browser and go to sleep after reading a 37 some odd chapter story and what do i see? a little 1 next to a star
curse you for writing something that keeps my interest over my bed
more please!
SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE Go Twiley
More
if thats okay
Dear Princess Celestia
I am not a whore.
Your Faithful Student
Twilight Sparkle
Pinkie Pie. You. Are. Fucked.
So, since it appears Twilight isn't going to tell Celestia about the Dark Apprentice thing, I can say that it will probably happen at the WORST. POSSIBLE. TIME!
That said...
"SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE"
Best. Line. EVER! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
Oh, and your update speed is great! Hope to see another one soon!
loved it, I saw pinkie coming in a good way. Keep writing
SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE!
Lols were most definitely had.
I admire your use of the sexy discretion shot. A lot of writers seem to think that once they've decided to write a clop story, they have to show every single little detail.
ACTIVATE
The most large and exotique molds are presented for thy perusal in yonder bad dragon catalogue, p. 224)
Somebody's been abusing the space/time continuum
“Was that something about deontological ethics?” Twilight asked, narrowing her eyes.
"I don't want no deontologists in my car."
SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE.
Oh Celestia...
This chapter totally cracks me up.
BTW, I really love your characterization of Luna. Characters who are simultaneously a) not villains, and b) advocate aggressively pursuing what you want (and provide a workable example themselves), are just way too rare.
1273126
This. It has all my yes.
I was half expecting the slip when Shiny confirmed that Celestia had called the Dark Apprentice a whore, for Twi to be hurt enough to blurt out "So I'm a whore?"
That endinng
AAAAWWWWW YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!
Sexy Twilight activate indeed . But somehow.....I get the feeling she's going to fail spectacularly.
"Are we alone"
"yes"
4.bp.blogspot.com/-L9OXvQSZYyM/T4QS5w7gLMI/AAAAAAAACYE/Ni6yPPuGaEU/s1600/ten+commandments+charlton+heston+movie+moses+STAND+BACK+I+GOT+THIS+MEME.jpg
I really like this story so far, i was kinda worried that after making naughty with Luna everything will dissolve into smut but hooooo did you prove me wrong.
It kinda feels like reading romance reports but with less drama and much more naughty humor me gusta.
Aaaalso...
"Dear Princess Celestia,
So I slept with your sister last night and it gave me magical powers..."
That line totally made me keel over
SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE.
Aww yeah baby.
1273127
Literally.
"SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE" I lol'd
OD DEAR GOD YES!
I was surprised it updated so quickly, but I'm not complaining, loving this story.
In other news, totally called the Shining Armor and Celestia thing. Keep up the awesome work!
My most consistent throught as I read this chapter was "man, this story is weird"...
1273126
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/034/706/winternet.jpg?1318992465
well to be frank twilight now emodies her namesake she is the student of the night and the day, hmm... the results well be interesting
Oh you, Twilight.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
[youtube=2036tCmnsv8]
All though, now that I think of it, utilitarianism(blame Chrome's spellcheck) fits Twilight to a T.
1273126 LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
That is all.
Sexy Twilight Activate...someone put that on a T-shirt!
Activated indeed.
Sexy Twilight can only lead to wonderful things. I wholeheartedly approve of this.
Luna in this reminds me of Romance Reports in a very good way.
Also, I read the blog post from 2 weeks back or so, and contemplated posting this there, but 'eh'.
I don't know whether or not you're still demoralized by the negative feedback you got, but I wanted to give two pieces of advice that have helped me with handling negative feedback since long before I started writing.
1) Try your hardest to seek people's approval, but once everything's printed, don't care whether or not you receive it. The drive is the most important part, and for that you want to put the negative criticisms out of mind while you're writing.
2) Learn to sort useful criticism from useless criticism. This goes beyond ignoring people who flame you, this goes to being able to accurately judge whether the constructive criticism is in fact useful, or that their suggestion would cheapen or worsen your story.
How that letter should have went if Twilight maintained her aggressiveness after talking with Shining :
Dear Princess Celestia,
I Dont appreciate being called a whore.
Your 'Faithful Student' & The Dark Apprentice
Twilight Sparkle
Loving the story keep it up!
This is getting good, Keep it up im excited to see more
SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE
best.
bad dragon catalogue?
Really?
Just.. No. Talk about shattering the immersion. I was enjoying it up till the bold print saying 'bad dragon catalogue' which, no matter what the reason you put it in, is such a maddening thing to do, that I refuse to continue reading your works.
1273126 it must be written this way.
Fucking loving it so far. Keep up the fantastic work!
Oh god YES! Moar, right now!
oh gods yes
"SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE" from now on every time Twilight decides to go something
naughty I will see this pop up in my brain.
Not telling Celestia hmm this can go good, bad, sexy, and awesome + every combination of them.
When S.A. finds out that will be like a house falling on your head, and if Cadance is there at the time by Luna's plot
there might be a lot of fun if Twilight decides to demonstrate what the Dark Apprentice is (Cadance might find that
the fun has been doubled)
1273533
Are you bucking kidding me? If that's what it takes to put you off a good yarn, so be it. The rest of us will sit here and laugh our flanks off.
1273127
I rather think that is the POINT.
Best line ever.
The whole bit with Shining was hideously amusing, but that line right there? Written language itself was created so one day that line would exist. I totally lost my sh*t there.
1273414
And then Celestia does precisely what she is doing in your avatar.
Well Twilight is gonna have a nice night now isnt she
THIS CHAPTER IS SO AWESOME IS APROVED BY LUNA IT HAS TO BE!
A new chapter 2 days after the other one? You, good sir, are truly awesome.
and..... SEXY TWILIGHT ACTIVATE!!!!! LMAO
That might possibly be one of the funniest things I have ever read. Anyway, good chapter, hope the next one comes just as fast.