- Member Since 24th Sep, 2014
- offline last seen March 28th
Wandering Pigeon
I came here to eat breadcrumbs and indiscriminately shit on cars. And I'm all out of breadcrumbs...
Wandering Pigeon
Joined 24th Sep, 2014 ·
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Who made the picture?
This was adorable
8925661
That was courtesy of Hodge.
8925667
Glad you liked it!
8925671
Hodge is such a great MLP ABDL artist
8925681
Oh yeah he is. Can't believe he went all out and did two pictures for this fic.
8925684
Damn
[X] BEST PRINCESS EVER!
[X] Pooping Herself is an Improvement.
<LoL!> I can see something like this happening if Starlight never made her way over to help with 'A Royal Problem'. Princess Luna deciding to use her powers.
This was all very well played. I like how she handled the nobles, too. Very fitting given how she showed them how she really felt and now she'll be spending years trying to regain any sort of positive relationship with them.
Feelings eventually do get out. Luna just helped Celestia get them out in more ways than one. :)
This was a fun read, I wonder if Celestia just start a new fashion trend amounts the nobles?
8925708
Depending on how the survey results come back, Celestia might consider making the diapers a regular thing. Might.
8925715
Celestia's in for a rough couple of
yearsdecades at this rate. Nobles have long memories.8925730
I'm doubtful many will consider it. She'll have to make it mandatory if she wants them to come around.
???????????
Wonderful story!
Hopefully poor wittle Tia will get used to her new life. I'm sure while Luna is working hard, Twilight could foalsit her!
I vote "
kindavery cute", can't say she is the best princess since Luna is my favorite princess but Celestia in her foal attire wins in cuteness for sure!Also, good job to Hodgepodge!
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I think Celestia might throw a temper tantrum if Luna actually gets Twilight to foalsit for her.
She'll warm up to the idea, I'm sure.
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That would certainly be cute, but I doubt Hodge and I will get around to a sequel to this, unless he gets an idea he really likes or something.
Always exciting when you release a new story! Super cute : )
8927073
Thanks! I'm always a little nervous when I release something new, so I'm glad to hear you liked it.
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Would it be alright if we do, like, fan continuations?
As usual, it was solid. The start, while feeling a little wanting in terms of justification, was easily the strongest part of your story. Luna's subtle manipulation of the dream without resorting to cliche'd methods like hypnosis was handled well, as well as the psychological trap she laid for when Celestia woke up. However, a few elements kept it from surpassing previous work of yours.
For starters, typos continue to make themselves comfortable in your story; it seems as if they've grown accustomed to not being chased out with the eraser-ended broom. Have you taken to reading your story out loud during editing passes? It could help a lot with spotting look-alike words that don't quite fit.
Descriptions were a little repetitive at times, and sentence structure lacked variety, resulting in a somewhat dry experience (notwithstanding Celestia's performance, but I'll get to that in a moment). For instance, I just did a Ctrl-F search for 'like' to see if you had used similes in the story and came up with little in the way of them, besides half-points for time-related ones (which were repeated several times). A cursory skim didn't reveal much in the way of metaphors or other notable writing techniques, either (besides the alliteration on the newspaper picture), but feel free to correct me on that count.
The weakest part, as you might guess, was the ending. My mind keeps coming back to the term 'character assassination', although I realize that's quite harsh. However, Celestia (and, to a certain extent, Luna) clearly has her personality twisted to fit the needs of the story there; there's a tonal shift for her without nearly enough material inbetween to justify it.
In part this is due to the characters never really pausing to consider the consequences of their actions. Celestia's reasoning that it's a dream works for some of the time, but I'm quite certain she would know what a 'wet dream' is and not tempt fate on purpose. While I could understand if Luna disregarded the consequences of her actions due to her pettiness and lust for revenge, the fact that she never even pauses to think about them feels out of place and a lot like "Getting to the part where you jack off"-syndrome.
Obviously, public embarrassment is a large element of the story, but I feel the use of a large crowd results in a sense of unattachment or disinterest in the reader as there wasn't a strong emotional connection in the scene. I feel a similar story, but with the other princesses instead of a large crowd, would have made for a stronger narrative that would have also been easier to retain suspension of disbelief in. Celestia still thinks she's in a dream, but the other princesses have been informed by Luna that it's some sort of stress management therapy and for them to play along with her 'foal act', thereby giving Celestia less reason to question the reality that has been presented to her.
In the end, it's a story idea I've been playing with for a while myself (although extending the charade into waking reality was a nice twist I hadn't considered) and I'm glad to see someone did it. Looking forward to your next story.
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Yeah, both Hodge and I are cool with it
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Glad you were able to get a little enjoyment out of this fic, regardless of some issues. Sorry again for the typos. I know I must be sounding like a broken record in regards to that, but I keep letting them slip through. I'll have to try your idea to read them aloud and see if that'll help stop them.
As for the ending, yeah, we definitely stretched the characters for the sake of the plot in a couple of places. I want to argue that it's justified since we were leaning more towards comedy, but I feel it would need to be more over the top and jokey to really earn that. I do like the idea of keeping the crowd smaller with just the other Princesses, though. Might have to use that for a future fic.
Thanks for all the advice and criticisms. Hoping to apply them to my fics in the future.
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Sweet, let me think of a plot
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I don't think an erotic dream would lead to wetting and or crapping her bed
BEST PRINCESS EVER!
8928266
A wet dream is in reference to thinking of peeing or other water-heavy dreams as well, not just sexual fantasy.
8928113
Do you have an editor or proofreader? A good one is hard to find, of course (as evidenced by all the stories in this niche that give thanks to several proofreaders but are insults to spelling checkers everywhere), but a dedicated pair of eyes is always useful. The writer can gloss over their own mistakes easily, after all.
Rule of Funny isn't a justification, but it can be used to distract from a plot hole or poor writing (I've abused it myself several times, most notably in Teeny Tiny Twilight to cap off the story abruptly without a true conclusion). Being frank, though, the Comedy tag doesn't feel deserved as I honestly didn't feel like you made any attempts at humor, beyond what was scenario-derived material that was circumstantial at best. For that matter, the Random tag is most certainly out of place (and really is a trap tag to add, as it devalues the story under most circumstances). Humor is a fickle beast and highly subjective, of course, so take that as you wish.
You turned a meme into an abdl fic.... It's beautiful...
8928664
I've got a few people I can ask for my next fic for proof-reading, so I'll see if they can help out.
8928795
Who would've guessed memes make for a good diaperfic idea?
8928664
Oh....that makes a whole lot of sense now that I think about it
That image is really small and even the pop-up is no larger. I had to zoom in to 200% to read it. Maybe that is something you can fix?
8930728
The pop up for me seems fine. Try this link: https://cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/yiaj-1526303522-407842-full
8930822
Not the pop up of the cover but of the newspaper article in the chapter.
8930844
Newspaper's already as big as Fimfic will make it. The pop up should be a decent size for that one though, so I don't know why it's giving you trouble.
8931067
They are both the same size. But one contains the text and the other does not.
8931091
For me both contain text and one is larger. I really have no idea what you're doing to get that.
8931138
?????
I think we are not understanding each other here. The pop up of the news article isn't any larger than just how you posted it. The cover is indeed much larger but since it doesn't contain text that is sort of irrelevant. I can only read it by massively zooming in and I don't think that was the intention.
8932939
I understand that's your problem, I'm just saying I don't know why that's happening to you. The pop up of the newspaper gag has been working fine for me every time I've tried it, and I haven't needed extensive zooming for the text to be legible. I'm not sure if it's the size of your device that's the problem, or the way the image is being opened or what, but I'm just not sure if it's something I can correct from my end.
I'd love a part 2!
Welp, Luna is dead.
8964845
Or at the very least banished to the moon.
Sequel is need it. More babying celestia!
Well played Luna...well played...
Love it
Kind of cute, ... but EXTREMELY DISGUSTING when Celestia messes her diaper. YUCK!!!
Been a while since this was made, but I’d still love to see a sequel following Celestia after she did that. Maybe the day or a week after that paper was released to the public?
Haaah, that was brutal XD. Seriously, my hat goes off to Luna for that prank XD.
Luna the goddess of trolling. My hat gose of for her
well this was a interesting start to da stowy