Thriller

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PropMaster

PropMaster #1 · Mar 11th, 2018 · 4 · ·

Jesus, Regi, what a comeback story. It's solidly written, and depressing, but evocative. I'd almost venture that there's a bit of "writing what you know" in here, knowing your situation. It's compelling, if in the manner of watching something awful... you can't look away. Only watch, and wish it was happening differently. It's got quite the moment at the end, too, probably the most compelling moment. I almost think you maybe chickened out at the last moment, adding the last line after the last thing Vinyl said. I don't think that last piece needed to be there, because what was happening was extremely evident. The punch of that final statement is super strong.

Shakespearicles

Shakespearicles #2 · Mar 11th, 2018 · 4 · ·

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Regidar

Regidar #3 · Mar 11th, 2018 · · ·

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thank you~ I was really concerned about how I wrote the story, that it would be boring and melodramatic.

This is a practice in confessional writing, as transliterated through to colorful horses.

I actually hadn’t thought of it that way. I wanted to be clear, blunt. But thinking upon it, it might be so much more ending on her dialogue. The way it’s written, she gets to escape. I still managed to give her an out.

And perhaps it was too heavy projection there

Silky Quill

Silky Quill #4 · Mar 11th, 2018 · 2 · 2 ·

Hauntingly beautiful story, I actually cried a bit because of how much I related to Vinyl. Seriously, one of the best stories I've read in awhile

Comment posted by Regidar deleted Mar 11th, 2018

re- Yamsmos

re- Yamsmos #6 · Mar 11th, 2018 · · ·

This is good, Regi. You did good.

Little scary, but good.

Prof Holly Oats

Prof Holly Oats #7 · Mar 12th, 2018 · 1 · ·

Reg, this is really good! You should be proud of what you've written here

Zaid ValRoa

Zaid ValRoa #8 · Mar 12th, 2018 · · ·

Maybe my, uh, enviroment built up the edge of this story too much, but I didn’t find it that bothersome. Hell, the most shocking elements of the story are used for a character driven purpose, and play into the narrative as a whole.

Overall, I really liked it. I feel it delivers a solid punch, and I only wish we could’ve gotten a bigger glimpse into Vinyl’s history of substance abuse, as well as her relationship with Octavia, if only to get a better sense of the scope of this spiral of self-abuse and neglect.

Good story, Regi. Give yourself a headpat from me.

DAMN HAMSTER