- Member Since 9th Feb, 2017
- offline last seen Yesterday
the7Saviors
I am a self proclaimed horror and dark fantasy fic writer. You want darkness, death, and despair? You've come to the right place. Also an eternal Twilight Sparkle and avid Lovecraft fan.
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the7Saviors · 68k words · 315 7 · 3.4k views
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Well, you got my interest, let's see where this leads.
Ooooo, me likey. No seriously this is really imteresting. I never played Prototype but I heard it was good, so this is really my first experience with it.
Faved and followed the moment I saw the cover art and knew what this was going to be a cross-over of. I am not disappointed.
Oh it's a Prototype crossover... I'm slightly annoyed by this, but none the less it's good so far.
Really good. A couple of grammar issues, nothing big just a few missing words. Really enjoyed it. Imma add this to my library. I would like it, but for some reason it won’t let me.
8703202
Thanks for letting me know about the grammar. I'll get that fixed. And don't worry if you can't hit the thumbs up. It's the thought that counts.
8703201
If it helps, the story is completely original and is only going to resemble the game in the very beginning.
I mostly just wanted the Mane 6 to have badass virus powers.
8703230
Nothing against Prototype or anything, it's just that the stories people write fucking suck, so I have hope that this will be decently good, first chapter's good though...
8703255
Ah, I see... well thanks then I guess. I'll do my best to keep the quality going.
8703259
Please do!
Sounds interesting. Oskar Osäker: True Omnivore never hit it off with me, but this one just might, as far as prototype-based thingies come. Lets see where it goes.
Excellent! Let's hope that this story about ultimate lifeforms continues according to your plan.
8703255 There's a good Prototype story called Shards of Impossibility. It's a Prototype/Worm crossover were Dana and Alex find themselves in a world full of superheros and villains. My description is shit but it's worth the read.
8704287
Sounds interesting, but I haven't finished WORM yet so I'll have to hold off.
Extra quote there
You have certainly caught my attention, please moar.
8704453
Thanks for the heads up and I'm already working on the second chapter.
That griffon does know he's signed his own death warrant, right?
So this story is kind of like an alternate version of Crystal Empire arch? Let's hope Twi and the gang can still go back to Equestria after this ordeal is over.
nice work
8705625
thanks
For those who don't know the reference here....
Anime the reference points to: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gurren_Lagann
Video the reference got it's inspiration from most likely:
Or maybe this video:
Hopefully the author corrects me if i'm wrong. But i don't think i am
8705705
your welcome looking forward to the next chapter.
Really it's closer to consuming than devouring. There is a subtle difference.
See?
Talk about freaking out!
I'd probably react somewhat similarly, but jeez!
8705823
Both videos are epic but I'm referencing the original video at the bottom.
8706009
Yeah, Rainbow wouldn't really get the difference though. At least I don't think she would.
8706091
Touché.
Missing quote
Missing capitals
Is this supposed to be not enough anwsers or...?
See you in the next chapter, I'll be there to nitpick that too!
No typos, atleast I didn't find! <o/
8706084
You mean the latter of the vids?...
Don't blame her, Rainbow, she's just starting to learn her Spiral Power.
8706799
Yeah. The more recent video that came out didn't cross my mind when I was writing the chapter originally.
8706836
More like viral power!
...I'm not sorry.
Based on Prototype, yes?
Now that leaves one question, aside from "what happens next?": who ordered the use of the virus why?
Also, nice use of the wire deathtrap, wires have so much potential as a weapon, yet are completely underused most of the time. I do hope the mane-wire-tendrils[they need a better name] become Twirus' favourite weapon.
8708815
Yes.
8708824
All questions will be answered in time. Also you might want to put a spoiler tag on that.
Just sayin'
Also thanks by the way. I was thinking about how Twilight would try to utilize the virus if she was a sadistic killer. This is what I came up with and I think it fits her. She's a resourceful mare though (at least in my headcanon) so I think it'd be a waste to have her focus on just one method of murder.
I was grinning by this point. I have to say, the fact that Twilight resisted ripping him apart immediately is a credit to her integrity. Ya gotta know that mister Mercer wouldn't have held back.
LET THE REIGN OF THE ELEMENTS BEGIN!
And at long last.... the song the fit the occasion for Twilight made angry
And right before the enemies are dead, they shall hear one last lullaby
How dark will this story get?
8708992
I don't know yet. But if this chapter was any indication, it's going to get pretty dark.
I just have this strange idea of the mane 6 doing some sort of fusion with the virus and being literally unstoppable.
8709032
Oh, I'm not going to make them unstoppable per se just... well... you'll see.
I can kind of see it though. Twilight did take a knife to the face and came out of it no worse for wear.
8709038
Please don't riggety rekt me sir
No typos that I could see again! <o/
8709032
I never play PROTOTYPE but it would be interesting to see each of the Mane6 develop unique power.
... could this virus upgrade Fluttershy's 'Stare'?
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/578/894/397.gif let the fun begin
8710114
Oooh I didn't think about that! I'm sure I can fit that in somehow though. Yep, already coming up with ideas as I type this.
Alright, color me intrigued (not literally, that would be weird).
I know you said you got the idea for this at least partially from legionary's story, but I have to admit that, at least so far, yours is much better. I particularly like the attention your paying to the characters' mental states and emotions. You're doing a fantastic job of really bringing the characters to life and making them feel like real people instead of just words on a page. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this.
Also, I loved the way you handled twilight's little bout of insanity here. She was still Twilight, still Princess Celestia's student of friendship, but taken to a very dark extreme. Even there at the end, she still offered him a chance. She just made sure there were some very dire consequences for when he inevitably said no... Given how often Celestia seems to play the chessmaster role, knowing everything that will happen ten steps before it actually does, I thought that was very fitting.
8712156
Thanks!
When I write a story I try to focus on consistency and believable characters so I'm glad you were able to pick that up.
Also would you mind putting a spoiler tag on the latter half your comment? That's something I'd like to keep as a surprise to new readers.