So this story is kind of like an alternate version of Crystal Empire arch? Let's hope Twi and the gang can still go back to Equestria after this ordeal is over.
Hmmm. Naturally anything with Prototype's going to grab my interest, and the prose here is good enough to keep me reading. I guess the only thing that's keeping me halfway in and halfway out is the emotional reactions. Half the time - maybe more like sixty-six percent of the time - I've been happy with them. The rest, though, I can't help but feel are moving too fast. Twilight gets into the mindset of Alex Mercer faster than I'd think she should, even considering the broken empathy/lack of aversion to blood. (And I don't have a problem with that - I think it'd be necessary to tell this story at all. Otherwise you'd be spending your first ten chapters in a constant state of emotional breakdown before you could get any of the M6 to do anything... Prototypey.) It's not that you haven't written the responses I want to see, just that they're missing from some places I expect them to be.
While Twilight does pay some lip service to this all being very disturbing, I'd expect a bit more of a freakout over 'why don't I care about doing all these gruesome things.' More hangups before each questionable action that slowly taper off as the chapters progress, more times where she's bothered by her inability to feel. More on Twi's end than Rainbow's, because the latter's been awake longer. Like, the part where they were both wading through bodies and Rainbow probes Twilight to see if she's feeling anything was well-done, and I liked that piece of interaction. But I was thrown for a loop when Rainbow talked about consuming without any... hesitation, I guess, or confusion, and while Twilight does go 'wait, what' over it, she doesn't think about the ramifications of one of her best friends eating another pony at all. And that's... kinda one of those things that beggars thought. Especially when you find yourself unable to really care about it.
It might be that I just like slower build, but I feel like the characters are a little ahead of where they should be in regards of acceptance to their powers. Instinctually they've been wired to act this way, but their senses of self aren't quite there yet.
8758926 It'll be both. I'm just throwing in different powers whenever I feel it's appropriate. Also keep in mind that they don't always necessarily work the same way they do in the game.
But isn't he part of the group or whatever that made them? That's like being part of a team of cooks and saying that whatever food you've made is utter garbage.
That griffon does know he's signed his own death warrant, right?
So this story is kind of like an alternate version of Crystal Empire arch? Let's hope Twi and the gang can still go back to Equestria after this ordeal is over.
Really it's closer to consuming than devouring. There is a subtle difference.
See?
8706009
Yeah, Rainbow wouldn't really get the difference though. At least I don't think she would.
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Is this supposed to be not enough anwsers or...?
See you in the next chapter, I'll be there to nitpick that too!
Hmmm. Naturally anything with Prototype's going to grab my interest, and the prose here is good enough to keep me reading. I guess the only thing that's keeping me halfway in and halfway out is the emotional reactions. Half the time - maybe more like sixty-six percent of the time - I've been happy with them. The rest, though, I can't help but feel are moving too fast. Twilight gets into the mindset of Alex Mercer faster than I'd think she should, even considering the broken empathy/lack of aversion to blood. (And I don't have a problem with that - I think it'd be necessary to tell this story at all. Otherwise you'd be spending your first ten chapters in a constant state of emotional breakdown before you could get any of the M6 to do anything... Prototypey.) It's not that you haven't written the responses I want to see, just that they're missing from some places I expect them to be.
While Twilight does pay some lip service to this all being very disturbing, I'd expect a bit more of a freakout over 'why don't I care about doing all these gruesome things.' More hangups before each questionable action that slowly taper off as the chapters progress, more times where she's bothered by her inability to feel. More on Twi's end than Rainbow's, because the latter's been awake longer. Like, the part where they were both wading through bodies and Rainbow probes Twilight to see if she's feeling anything was well-done, and I liked that piece of interaction. But I was thrown for a loop when Rainbow talked about consuming without any... hesitation, I guess, or confusion, and while Twilight does go 'wait, what' over it, she doesn't think about the ramifications of one of her best friends eating another pony at all. And that's... kinda one of those things that beggars thought. Especially when you find yourself unable to really care about it.
It might be that I just like slower build, but I feel like the characters are a little ahead of where they should be in regards of acceptance to their powers. Instinctually they've been wired to act this way, but their senses of self aren't quite there yet.
Do they have the powers from prototype 2 to? Or only prototype 1?
8758926
It'll be both. I'm just throwing in different powers whenever I feel it's appropriate. Also keep in mind that they don't always necessarily work the same way they do in the game.
Uh-oh......Twi, RD, RUN!
But isn't he part of the group or whatever that made them? That's like being part of a team of cooks and saying that whatever food you've made is utter garbage.
8862714
I mean, people do do that when make food that is actually plain disgusting.
8862714
Well, frankenstein in that one story did the same thing.
Well... they have killed dozens of people and do not feel any guilt about that, so he is not entirely wrong...