Hello everyone! Thank you for reading my story!

First off, I want give a HUGE shout out to my editors! I'd be lost without them. In no particular order:

John Perry has some really fantastic stories and you should all go and favorite all his stuff. He’s been a huge help for me.

The Equestrian Gentlecolt lives up to his name. He definitely knows his stuff!

werewolf435 tore my story a new one, and it is much stronger for it!

FanOfMostEverything put a lot of effort into this and it’s hugely appreciated! Everything is much snappier thanks to his help!

AlicornPriest has put some serious thought into his editing and it shows.

Bronymaster has become enough of a fan to be willing to make this story one of the very, very few he still edits for. Thanks Bm!

I also want to give a massive shout out to Kobalstromo, who has been a great friend to me here on FimFiction and is also writing an alicorn Twilight epic. His new version of On Wings of Change is just mind-blowingly-good. You all should go over there and favorite all his stories and comment that his writing is much better than mine, ‘cause it is.

I also highly recommend that everyone that writes join the Author Support group. It's a wealth of advice and aid for starting and veteran writers alike!

Please feel free to leave comments! I love seeing comments from readers!

I write in large blocks and do at least two passes through the editors. I have 40,000 words in the first block; enough for seven chapters plus the prologue. Chapters 2-7 are undergoing final editorial review. Chapters 8-11 are still being written.

I do not schedule writing or posts. My muse comes and goes. Stuff gets posted “when it’s done”. If I gave you guys a timeline, that would just jinx it, trust me on that one!

I have no idea how big it’ll wind up being in terms of words. I’m bad at predicting that stuff.

Expect some innuendo and violence and dark moments, even steamy and violent moments, but no explicit sex and nothing “gore for the sake of gore”. It also won’t get grimdark, I can’t read grimdark so I definitely can’t write it.

Standard disclaimer applies, I don’t own MLP or it’s characters, just the story and my original characters, blah blah blah. The cover art was made and is copyrighted by my wife.

Awesome story and I look forward to more, but at this point I'M SO VERY CONFUSED!!!

>>951512951512

LOTS will be revealed in the coming chapters!

I hope to get chapter two out as soon as editing is done, possibly chapter three as well. Things will slow down after that so I can keep a buffer.

.....................................

Dude... I don't think words exist for me to say how good that was... Just... Wow.

>>951535951535

Thank you very much!

Interesting concept, most Alicorn Twilight stories make the change instantaneous, it's refreshing seeing a progressive ascension instead of instant growth to the size of Celestia OR Luna, the sudden appearance of wings and a bigger horn just because.

I´m interested in where are you going to take this, although if your inspiration to write is going to be erratic I'd rather wait a day or to for each new chapter than finding myself tomorrow with chapter 7 and then waiting and unpredictable amount of time wondering when the next chapter is going to be released. I'll be seeing were this goes.

>>951560951560

Thank you!

I don't plan on dumping all the chapters out at once, only the first few as editing is done to get exposition out there. After that it'll slow down to about the pace of my writing, but I won't release any chapters in the current "block" I'm writing so I can keep the near-term foreshadowing accurate (among other reasons).

Also, the gradual ascension was definitely on purpose. I didn't want to just give her all that power, especially on an adventure story. And, as you noted, a lot of Alicorn!Twi stories do that already (better than I could do in many instances), although there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Some of my absolute favorite stories on the site do that, and they're fantastic! But I definitely wouldn't stand out amongst that crowd of established stories if I went that route.

So an "Equestria plunging in to civil war" sotry that doesn't involve Celesita being villain? Count me in

>>951587951587

Yeah, I'm definitely going for a more nuanced story than the typical "Rawr! Celestia evil now!" (Not that such a story couldn't be both good and nuanced, mind, but I doubt I could do it justice anyway and there's already a LOT of them.)

Hmm rites of ascension got the idea from this story ?

Story :3

Either way, i like the story and keep it up

>>951915951915 actually I'm fairly certain a lot of inspiration was drawn from this story, as well as a desire to explain a few things in CV's headcanon about Tia.

At any rate, I love it. Good work man, it took all of two months to prep; but you finally got it out.

Cheers, best of luck, and let's see where this takes you.

Love and tolerance,

-Koba

Enjoying it so far, keep up the great work :D

It will be interesting to here more about the why of this...

Oh Twilight, you should have learned from your encounter with Discord that somethings are impossible for a good reason.

Glad I kept an eye out for it.

Sent here by JohnPerry's blog. On my Read Later list. Looking forward to it!

A well written Twilight becomes an Alicorn story?

Count me in for the long haul!

Wow, it's finally up. Cool. I'm glad I was able to help, and I look forward to more.

Well, this is definitely looking up to be one epic story. I'll be eagerly awaiting the upcoming chapters

Normally I'm not really fond of chapters that follow minor characters up until they run into one of the protagonists (who inevitably ruins their day,) but you kept it short and to the point, so I can't really complain.  Normally it's also a bad idea to go for ominous foreshadowing before you have the reader's attention/interest/suspension of disbelief, but "okay guys, we're gonna KILL TWILIGHT SPARKLE" is blunt enough to avoid that, so I can't complain about that either!

So, good job!  Keep on not screwing up—that's how it works

Sent here by both The Equestrian Gentlecolt and John Perry, and I am glad they did.

Sounds very epic indeed, and I love what you have written so far. Looking forward to more!

Wow. What an infodump. If the story is moving this fast to start, I shudder to think on how I'll keep up. Excellent work and I eagerly await the rest as it comes!

Oh, that line. "Welcome to the alicorn race." Wow. Oh wow. That just hammers it home, doesn't it? If I'd really been paying attention to the description of this story, I would have known this was the case, but I still managed to figure it out when Celestia was telling her that Unicorns can't cast magic through their hooves. She isn't telling you it's impossible to cast magic through your hooves Twi, she's saying unicorns can't do it. Oh man, This is going to get good, and I always, always love a good story about powerful Twilight. Love 'em to death. I can't wait.

This is an awesome story.

Though, I have to ask: Why is it always Twilight? Why not one of the other Mane 6? Why not a background pony? Why is it Twilight who becomes an alicorn?

Hm... a new fic idea has just taken hold.

Faved, liked, looking forward to more!

>>953671953671

Actually, there is one about Fluttershy becoming an Alicorn, but I forgot its name. And "Duties", featuring all of the mane 6 as alicorn (I think, I've never read it).

Anyway, making Twilight an alicorn is probably seen so often because it seems to be the most logical choice. Canon built Twilight up as the most powerful unicorn known about and she has close ties to atleast two, but probably all three of the alicorns known up to date. Her studious nature and huge knowlegde about the arcane would also increase her chances to somehow stumble about the secrets of the Alicorns and her positions as element of magic and all-team coordinator as well as her overall demeanor establishes her as a pony capable of a leadership position. Besides, while we did see some more stories featuring another mare of the mane 6 in a prominent position, Twilight can still be considered the main character of the show.

So, all together she is probably just the most logical choice in concern of alicornification.

>>953782953782 I know. I just wish more people tried to rationalize the others as alicorns from time to time.

>>953671953671

>>953782953782

And Twilight is more likely to have an interesting story beyond just becoming an Alicorn. While the other characters could be involved in something interesting, it is less fitting.

For example, Applejack would be quite likely to stay on the farm and continue working as usual.

A good plot is very important to a successful story, so low potential for doing such things with the others is a big turn off.

Personally, I think "Twilight is an Alicorn" is very rapidly becoming a tired trope. It's second only to "Luna is SAD," in standard approach to writing MLP Fanfiction when plot twist is required.

Still, I liked this one, so I'll give it a chance. Can I see Twilight working as a second-class (ala Cadance) Alicorn? Maybe. Certainly not as a "Number Three Royal Pony Sister Super-Alicorn-GO" controlling the weather or somesuch.

Sorry it took so long to get to this but I had things to do earlier. I barely had time to read the prologue when I woke up.

Any way, now that I've read through this I have to say you did a really good job with it. The characterizations were well done and rather believable. NMM in the prologue still confuses the ever loving buck out of me, and while I have theories, and I'm positive that the prologue is there at least partially to get readers to start making theories and WMG's about that, you do an excellent job of keeping us in suspense and only giving out just enough information to build upon those theories but not enough to confirm or deny any of them. I find that to be an excellent way to both capture a readers attention, immerse them in the world your building, and to screw around with people like me who sometimes over analyse things like this. Honestly I usually don't get very analytical with stories, including those from games and movies, but when I do I find myself going along and enjoying the story more.

TL/DR: this story is awesome and you should feel awesome.

Holy crap 64+ people hit that fav button I am just utterly blown away!

First off, thank you everyone for the compliments! I'm a feedback glutton and positive feedback is my fuel!

>>954119954119

Yup, I want people guessing! And I'm like that too. Whenever I'm real into a story I try to make my own head-canon as to what'll happen next episode/issue/whatever and I'm almost never right! But it's sooo much fun!

>>954047954047

I kinda is, but I still love it, which is why I wanted to try a more unique take on it. I hope I succeed!

>>953917953917>>953790953790>>953782953782

There are some others that try to alicornify the rest of the Mane 6 but so far Twi's been the most interesting to me. Probably because she's so damn adorkable!

>>953572953572

The show itself is fast and loose with continuity and usually doesn't have the production time for a lot of worldbuilding, so I have to rush out a lot of exposition at the start. [sings] "Exposition, exposition, rush it out A-S-A-P!" [/sings] I try to make it interesting using heartfelt stories from Celestia and [spoiler]. This does mean I'll have to ignore future episodes that Joss me, but oh well.

Also, soon there's going to come a time for show instead of tell!

>>952329952329

Truth! Go read this guy's story, people!

>>953438953438

I'm glad my story overcome those stumbles! It means a lot coming from the author of Sharing the Night!

I haven't seen any Twilight is alicorn fics where the change is gradual, you have my fave for that and good characterization. I'm looking forward to more world building too, I like what I've seen so far.

A question- Celestia seemed quite upset, but from the way ascention works here, shouldn't she be expecting Twilight to become an alicorn? Celestia took her as a student because she was ridiculously powerful from the start. Why wouldn't she warn Twi about it well ahead of time to prevent panic and magical disasters?

>>955361955361

Image: http://i.imgur.com/yJ3y3.png

So Equestria and the Spoilers for Season 3 are the only nations left with Alicorn protectors and the other pony nations have been on their own for 4000 years.  One of those nations envious of Equestria's wealth and good fortune is the most likely candidate for the fic's antagonists.

>>955431955431

Actually... well, some of my response I can't yet say because of aforementioned

Image: http://i.imgur.com/yJ3y3.png

BUT, I will say this: don't assume ANYTHING in season three or later counts in this story. It goes purely off of one and two. If the two conflict, my story assumes said episode(s) never happened. There's no way I can go back and re-write stuff when I get Jossed, 'cause there's a LOT of world building that will be introduced will inevitably be in conflict with later episodes, I just know it.

HOLY S####!!! Two chapters in (prologue included (obviously)) and this is already freaking epic. COUNT ME IN!!!

Much more engaging than the first chapter, I have to say.  I guess this could explain a few things; I mean, it must be awfully difficult to murder a pony who is flying through the air on flaming hooves (if indeed this is even the same night)

"Screaming like a little filly and flailing one’s legs about is not one of them”

Kinda nitpicky, but the 'and' here feels at odds to the usage of it as a singular action ('one of them.')  "Screaming like a little filly while flailing one’s legs about is not one of them," would be my suggestion.

"[...] a warning of what the Unconquered Sun was capable of."

Exalted reference?

Also, not sure why but I felt there was some awkwardness about giving the last alicorn aside from Celestia and Luna a name, or Celestia's usage of it.  It could just be that the title of "Lord" gets used by all the wrong people though, or maybe I don't have the feeling she would be using the title?  Maybe I just  felt like he should have been introduced with a "his name was" rather than just slipping it in, I really can't say

Anyway, a couple of hiccups here and there, but overall it looks interesting so far.  I like the idea of Discord separating all the nations by growing the world—though it tested my suspension of disbelief when it was implied that ponies hadn't figured it out yet.  Mathematicians have known the circumference of the earth since around 240 BC and didn't need to leave their country to do so, so I'm not so sure about that.  Math, how does it work, right?

>>953671953671

>>953782953782

There's also one with Rainbow Dash as Celestia's daughter, which is one of those things where you look at them side by side and go "...well OBVIOUSLY."  I liked the original one-shot more than the sequel that another author did, but it's neat enough.

>>954047954047

This might seem a little ingenuous—me being  an author of a certain other alicorn Twilight story (at least, I am when I actually get around to updating it )—but I'm a firm believer that any concept can be executed well.  A good concept can attract readers and provide an author with a myriad of opportunities, this is true  Also, as a representative of the subject matter, the concept certainly can and will define your audience.  Ultimately though, a body of work has to stand on the quality of its writing to be considered good by those who DO read it, and the concept—along with the quality or number of others who have used it before—become less important in the wake of the actual content that makes up the story.

TL;DR: Concepts are like book covers, comic book art or kittens—attractive, but ultimately irrelevant.

>>955379955379

Image: http://mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw4878-d99.gif

>>955724955724

Thank you for the feedback! It's an honor to get such detailed thoughts from you!

And there are going to be references ALL OVER this story! (Including at least one already-written one to Sharing! Another Sharing one got a bit too obvious so I had to tone it down. It's not as funny, but I want to try to make them somewhat subtle, not just a meme dump.)

Glacien is named specifically because

Image: http://i.imgur.com/yJ3y3.png

Ah crap, that's right, I can't reveal that yet X) Well, there's a reason!

As for the size of the world, I was worried about that and it's a weak point I haven't been able to shore up 100%. But, in-story, there are additional difficulties that Equestria has that Earth does not. For one, the position of the stars keeps changing due to Luna's influence. (And there's a thaumatological (sp) explanation for that even when she's gone, too. In fact, there's a reference to it in chapter one! See if you can find it! ) Another problem is that even at great heights the sheer size of the world makes figuring out the curvate rate tricky. The globes are actually a mis-mash combination of past maps and what new geographical data than can uncover. Two more issues are, well...

Image: http://i.imgur.com/yJ3y3.png

You all CANNOT POSSIBLY IMAGINE how much fun I'm having with this picture :D

Anyway, thanks again for the feedback Cast-Iron!

I like this explanation for alicorns.

Leads me to wonder if pegasus ponies and earth ponies are incapable of ascending, or it's just that much harder because their natures are expressed in much less blatant forms.

Very interesting, I like how you've got things for Spike and your pacing is quite nice.  Celestia's sad stories are sad enough, and momentous, but they're sad, not whangsty, and I like that a lot too.

Write on!  

I did read OWOC and my only complaint about the first version was that it was taking so god damn long for Twilight to grow those wings. Plus she's freaked out about the feathers like holy shit did you never go through puberty you silly mare! *pant* *pant*

Anyhow. Came here because of Equestrian Gentlecolt. I've been craving for a good adventure fic for a while now and this looks like it might satisfy this itch. Ponies, especially Twilight, ascending to Alicornhood has gotten pretty bland for me, but this might actually go someplace.

I will keep an eye on this good sir. Have a good one!

>>955361955361

You might also ask why she never taught Twilight proper self-defense magic (She doesn't use a dedicated combat spell until the changeling invasion) when she expected her to recover the Elements of Harmony.  Sure she didn't stand a chance against Nightmare Moon directly either way but the elements were still in the heart of the Everfree Forrest and its denizens were likely to be stirred up big time by the unnatural night.  One random pack of Timberwolves or a Hydra that had nothing to do with NMM could have ended everything.

>>955995955995

That always did bug me! I have a flimsy explanation with... well, that's spoilers too.   But I can't hope to resolve all the Fridge Logic in the show, it's a kids' cartoon after all.

This is a very well written piece of work, and I really look forward to reading more of it. I do have to note that the TITANIC size of Equestria's world (It's bigger than Jupiter! ) creates some... interesting results with gravity. Celestia weighs about 14,309 pounds or 6490 kg on a planet that size, assuming it has an Earth like density. It by no means detracts from the story however. The more you know...

>>955995955995

I actually thought she was taught to defend herself, she uses a miniature version of Shining Armor's shield spell in the Discord and Gabby Gums eps, and the Ursa didn't give her much trouble. My assumption was the Changelings were the first mooks she encountered that she didn't have a problem damaging. The manticore and ursa weren't really malevolent, they were just wild animals, so I assumed she wouldn't want to damage them. The dragons are intelligent, even if they're brutes, and they cooperate with each other enough to migrate together. Attacking one might lead to a crowd of pissed off dragons descending on the antagonist. The hydra was a direct threat, it would have made sense to use combat magic on it, but then, in that ep she seemed to have forgotton she could teleport too

The only time Celestia withheld really important information (as far as I can tell) was in the Nightmare Moon intro eps, and it made sense there. If Twilight had gone into Ponyville looking for ponies to wield Elements of Harmony, instead of looking for friends, she might have tried to force her friendships and failed to forge real bonds.

I can see your point though, we don't really know what sort of preparation Twilight received for her role as an Element, and my last argument on the Celesita/NMM disclosure is a bit weak because she had years to send Twilight out to make some friends but still waited until the last day

>>956465956465

This would be true! The grav WOULD extremely high, but remember, this is Discord and crazy magics we're talkin' about here. Logic doesn't need to enter into it

In fact,

Image: http://i.imgur.com/yJ3y3.png

Damnit X) Must write more! So much I want to saaaaaaay but can't because of spoilers!

Also, thank you for the compliment!

Thought it would be more appropriate to reply here. Bear with me please, it's going to be a long comment.

Firstly, you're welcome for the fave. I'm already liking this story because of how it seems to be pacing itself nicely.

Rather than this: Transformation-->Shock-->Adapting-->Resolution

You have this: Shock-->Transformation/Adapting/Ominous world-shaking conflict-->Resolution

A nice variation from the overnight transformation that seems to be the norm for this type of story...about purple magical unicorns obtaining magical powers beyond comprehension. Maybe "norm" isn't the right word to use...

Also like how you had Celestia flat-out tell Twilight she is ascending into alicorn-hood (that's a word right?). Nicely decompresses the situation, so that we as readers and Twilight herself now have a vague idea of what is to come so that the story can move on from there. Twilight gets to deal with the initial shock almost immediately into the story, and we can (presumably) get into the flow of the rest of the plot and the big conflict alluded to in the summary. At the same time, because you are making this a more gradual change you managed to avoid revealing the rest of Twilight's transformation and we get to come along for the ride as she deals with said changes as they occur.

Backtracking a little now. Loved seeing Luna in the prologue. It was a little disorienting since it dives right into an assassination attempt on Twilight with no context but it certainly serves its purpose as a prologue in grabbing attention. I particularly like how you didn't really show what it was Luna was doing to that mercenary, letting our imaginations take the vague descriptions you gave us and scare ourselves with thoughts of what Luna can do when she's feeling protective.

And now my favorite part of any epic story, the worldbuilding. Oh, the worldbuilding!

Glass Desert? Loved it. Well within Celestia's power I imagine and a terrifyingly impressive display of power and sacrifice on the part of Celestia's soldiers.

Discord expanding the entire world to try and get the upper hand in an ancient war? Very cool. Considering in the show he demonstrated he could wrest control of the sun and moon from the Royal Sisters, mess with gravity, and just about anything else he puts his mind to, expanding the world certainly sounds within his abilities.

Other alicorns? Kind of ambivalent on this one. I'm generally of the opinion that having many alicorns in a story detracts from the nice duality of Celestia and Luna but I have seen it done well (The Immortal Game aka Ponies Make War being a prime example). At the same time it is clearly established that the alicorns are mostly gone in this continuity so I can't really object to something that isn't there. Although you did mention one specifically by name so I'm curious to see how he and the other alicorns' impact will play out.

I'm eagerly looking forward to the next chapter. Out of curiosity though, may I ask if this story is currently completed and is simply being posted chapter at a time? Some of your prereaders' blogs alluded to events later in the story (no spoilers) that makes it sound like you have the whole thing more or less written out already.

Best regards

Alfalfa Falafel

>>956788956788

Thanks for the feedback, and you pretty much hit the nail on the head!

It's not very spoiler-y, so I can do ahead and say that you shouldn't worry about me tossing in overpowered gary-stu/mary-sue alicorn OCs that muck things up. I know that puts people off, it puts me off too, it's not going to go down like that, period.

This story isn't anywhere NEAR done. I've written 65,000 words and it's not even remotely near done. But, I've got a buffer going. I work in large blocks to maintain consistent near-term foreshadowing. I don't have every detail of the story planned out like Koba has his, but I have high-level long terms plans fairly solid. The big events I can foreshadow at any time. The smaller details aren't always known until a few chapters before I start writing them, and even then they can change. Working in blocks lets me make the right foreshadowing and set characters up to react the way I need them to. I will never post a chapter in a block that isn't done, because stuff is too fluid then.

To give you an idea, the first block encompasses the prologue through chapter seven, and is about 40,000 words. Even then, a LOT of stuff happens in those 40k words. That block is mostly done, the remaining chapters are just on the last editing pass now. The major events aren't going to change at all.

The initial writing of block two is... eh, half done? It's really, really hard for me to estimate this stuff so don't quote me on that. After that, it goes through the editors, I fix stuff, and then they edit that. THEN it's done and ready for posting. While I wait on editors to look at a block I normally start the next one.

That's my process I'm doing this as practice to write original fiction eventually. FimFics gives me a wonderful community to practice with and great characters to start on.

How long will the whole story be? Pfft, I HAVE NO IDEA!

-Cv

>>956856956856

Thanks for explaining your process. I have tried my hand at writing a long fanfic (not MLP) and made the mistake of attempting to chug through it all and post each chapter as it was written. As you can imagine plot holes sprung up like mad, threads of half-formed ideas ended up left dangling and eventually I had to scrap the darned thing because there was no way I could resolve it in a satisfactory manner. Maybe that works for some people but it didn't for me.

So kudos for being far more prudent than I and taking this "block" approach to writing

40,000 words in the first block alone? No idea how long it will actually be? Music to my ears good sir! I do enjoy a nice long epic tale. But I assume you already have the end in mind, at least in general terms? That way you know what everything else is building up to.

Again, looking forward to your future updates and thanks again for taking the time to reply.

Best,

Alfalfa Falafel

>>956885956885

That's EXACTLY the kind of thing I'm worried about. I hope to have "episodes" or "missions" that can be relatively stand-alone but each has a tiny piece or three leading up to the major crescendos, with the last few in an arc dealing with said crescendo. This SHOULD, in THEORY, minimize major plot holes.

The best way to avoid them is to take Koba's route and plan the whole damn thing out down to the minute, but I'm too indecisive to do that. Stuff changes too quick, I'll be making plans for eternity and never writing. It just won't work with me. So, I have the major players in mind and what they'll do, and I'm filling stuff in around that. I'm also carefully planning stuff already written, which helps find conflicts. Worst case (if this works as it should in theory), there are some OCs that go sadly under-utilized.  

-Cv

Tentatively tracking, mostly because TheEquestrianGentlecolt was recommending this. Let's see if it descends into the usual Infinite Power Wank or not.

>>956923956923

Fights and action will happen and will fluctuate in power and intensity over time - but not all obstacles can be smashed so easily with power alone! A sledgehammer has an awfully hard time attacking a shadow directly, after all. All you do is wind up damaging the floor!