Lost Memory: The Day I Saw The Mask
I yawned sleepily as I plodded down the hall. Another long night, and I hadn’t been sleeping well as-is. Especially since Loonie had started hassling me. I would’ve put up more of a fuss if I’d known that—
I froze, then ducked behind a pillar. I counted to five, then peered around it.
Dr. House Call was backing out of Luna’s room. He said something to her, but I couldn’t hear the words. He stepped away, then, slung his old-fashioned leather bag over his back. He pulled her door shut, then turned and walked away.
Only, the door didn’t close. The latch didn’t catch all the way; instead, it popped back open a few inches. But Dr. Call didn’t notice; he just kept walking.
I let out a breath, long and slow. He scared me--I thought he was Luna. I wasn’t looking forward to dealing with her at any time of day, but especially not while I was hardly awake myself…
But still…
I crept forward. Ever since Loonie had come back, she’d been… well, the newspapers said reclusive. I prefered secretive, myself. I don’t know what she was trying to hide, but she played her cards very close to the chest; she rarely spoke about herself, and, when she did, she was slippery as an eel. But, most of all--she kept the door to her chamber closed and locked at all hours of the day and night.
But here it was, wide open, and not a guard in sight…
I crept closer. I glanced up and down the hall once more, then turned and peered inside.
It took a minute for my eyes to adjust. But slowly, shapes began to rise up out of the darkness: a wooden rocking chair, a basket of thread lying next to it. A narrow, hard bed, almost a military cot. A full tea service, complete with steaming teapot, on a small table.
And, sitting at her vanity, Luna herself.
I stared. It had taken me a moment to recognize her. For one. She was naked--no clothes, no shoes, no collar (there was nothing wrong with that, just… I’d never seen her without at least a nightie, at least not since she returned). And she had her mane down, too. It was beautiful in the dim light, spilling halfway down her back like a silver-blue curtain. But most of all, it was the way she sat: she looked defeated and sad and broken--nothing like the old battleaxe I knew. I’d always known she was elderly, but this was the first time I’d ever seen her look old.
She sat that way, staring down at the ground, for several long, awkward moments. Eventually, she looked up, slowly, and met her own eyes in the mirror. She held her gaze for just a moment, before jerking away. Without looking at herself, she lit her horn and picked up a silver brush, then began to brush out her mane in silence.
She brushed for several minutes--longer than she needed to, I think. Then she switched to brushing her tail. When she had finished with that, she stretched her wings out, one after the other, and examined them carefully, checking to see if any feathers needed preening. She folded them again with a sigh, the lit her horn again. This time, she pulled her mane into a ponytail, tied it off with a dark-blue ribbon, and wrapped it up into a neat bun. She opened a small drawer and pulled out a pair of her pince-nez spectacles and put them on her nose.
Luna--and she was starting to look like Luna now, finally--took a deep breath. She sat up a little straighter, then looked herself in the eyes again. She set her jaw.
And, though her horn stayed dark this time, what happened next was magical.
As I watched, thirty years melted away. Oh, she was gray and wrinkly as ever, but the way she held herself, she became tall. Strong. Proud. She had changed from bone-china to steel, by pure force of will.
Suddenly, she stood, the movement quick, fluid, and decisive. When she turned to go find her dress, I had already disappeared.
I scuttled into the kitchen a few minutes late, but no one looked up. I snapped on the stove, and gathered up the pancake ingredients already waiting for me. I tried to concentrate on what I was doing, but it wasn’t until after I realized I’d used blueberries to make a grim face in the batter, wearing pince-nez spectacles, that I hesitated.
What, exactly, had I seen in that bedroom?
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Interesting....
Hm
Woah. Interesting deleted scenes. You say some of this might be foreshadowing stuff in later fics, eh? Guess I'll have to remember these...
If you don't mind, not going to do typo patrol this time. Sorry.
Fascinating extra glimpses. And I have to agree; "foundering" is a great piece of pony vulgarity.
Again, it is a very good flashback chapter with great foreshadowing.
8697798
8697765
Yeah, I'll admit that this one is a little more abstract than the others. Basically, this was intended to hint at a conflict popping up later.
8697903
HOW COULD YOU
Seriously, though, don't worry about it. I appreciate everything you've already done--and, now that I have a couple hours, I plan on catching up with your edits from the last few chapters :)
8697786
Believe it or not, "Arms" is the anatomically-correct term for a horse's forelimb. Evidence.
In either case, I prefer writing my stories with more human-like anatomical terms, because I feel like it makes them easier to read. See also.
8697565
I'm sorry you had that experience. But thank you for sharing.
8695798
Hehe, I get it now! And, you're providing some great ideas for a scene I have in mind...
8696043
Thank you very much for the high praise! I hope I can continue to throw you for a loop
8696210
Likewise, thank you! I'm honored
8697394
Thank you! I know a couple series I feel the same way about ("The first book was so good! Why'd you have to ruin it with more??") and it makes me really happy to be on the other end
So.. Is this it..? The End..?
Wow... this was riveting, and painful. Very deserving of the drama tag.
After so long of a descent for poor Cece, I find myself wanting to see more of things getting better. We didn't get to see her friends after the Grand Galloping disaster strained their relations, and we still don't know how her interaction with Luna will change upon the latter's return. We see that she tries to grow more responsible, but we don't yet see if Luna will loosen the leash in return. And we never got to see her finally bare her demons - her mom, and the responsibility that's crushed her since she was freaking twelve - to anyone. Wrapping everything nicely with a bow would have been unrealistic, but good heavens, she needs a psychologist.
All the same, thank you for this impressive story.
8718480
A sequel is already in the works--and a major focus of said sequel, if and when it gets off the ground, would be to show a little more "Slice of Life"--show Cece actually being a Princess, her interacting with the M6, and so on. So, hopefully you'll get some of that soon--but no promises until it's done.
8716193
Thank you very much! I really appreciate the compliments
8718894
*Purrs approvingly.*
derpicdn.net/img/2016/7/14/1200956/large.png
This is my approving face.
8697903
I am slightly ashamed to admit that I have, finally, caught up with Typo Patrol. Got caught up in life for a bit--but now it's done. As, always, thanks so much for your help!!
8721757
You're very welcome! Glad I could be of help.
This fic has been sitting in my "to read" list for a bit, and I finally got a chance to sit down and enjoy it.
I was blown away by the quality of this story. I love the way you wrote the characters, and the unique personalities and viewpoints of this AU.
In conclusion, I loved the originality of this, and can't wait to see what else you come up with.
8722039
Aww, thank you very much! Glad to have you on board!
8732481
In this universe, alicorns are essentially normal ponies, but with some extra bells and whistles. Alicorns age and die like the rest of the populace.
Does that help? TBH, it all should become clear if you continue reading.
8733499
I have been wondering. What happened to Cadance, Moondancer and Spike? Great story btw.
8733740
I.. kinda forgot about Moondancer. I have plans for Cadance and Spike, though--but it'll be a little while before we see them.
8746864
I'm so glad you liked this one! And that I was able to get you right in the feels
I must say--you're not the first to say that you can't remember your parent, either. I initially wrote this just as an odd little quirk that felt right for her--but I must have done something right, to see how it's affected multiple people.
If I was a female alicorn
, then this story would be about me.
Good, but very abrupt ending. If it wasn't for the 6 month time skip at the end, the entire story would wrap itself up in the span of about 4 in-universe hours.
8788993
Huh....
The more you know, eh?
8789401
I'm glad you liked the story! And thanks, as always, for the typo patrol!
Interesting idea about Twilight helping in Nightmare Moon's escape... that might appear in the sequel
8814404
I'm glad you enjoyed it! You're not the first to share that sort of experience--though I admit, it's not something that's happened to me. Nevertheless, I was really worried about that chapter, and I'm glad it's resonated with so many people!
This is fascinating. I was a hesitant with the "teenager drama" aspect at first, but the story quickly proved to be so much more than that. I just adore this AU, and just how much potential there is in it.
Having read this in one day, I must say it was most enjoyable. Kept me wanting to read, keep pushing forward, keep learning more.
Celestia, the character, was an absolute brat, but not unlikable, which is a very fine distinction. Luna, despite being the antagonist (kinda), was likable and logical, not making completely unreasonable demands. There was a good back and forth between the characters that made it immensely enjoyable. The side characters, though not getting much limelight, still went through their own arcs. Twilight and Blueblood were beautiful to watch as they became better people.
The world was great to explore. It was close enough to Equestria to not get the audience lost, but was far enough away to allow for world building. My favorite chapter was the reciting of the lineage of queens and what each accomplished. It was delicious in terms of history and lore for the world that just spiced up the story. That's not something you could have in the canon world.
The writing was also good. Plenty of variety in paragraph and sentence structure, dialogue that fit with the speaker, and the grammar was immaculate. This was just a well crafted story, and I applaud you for writing it. I'm mad I didn't find it sooner.
This was a very, very enjoyable story. I love the universe you've built and the ways you reinterpreted the characters -- I'm normally a bit wary of the more extreme sort of AUs, since after a certain the divergence between the original and reimagined characters gets to a point that I can't help but wonder why use the original names at all, but the writing and characterization were so solid here that they easily overrode my usual reservations. In point of fact I already read and liked some of your other stories, but this is the one that made me decide to follow you.
Regarding Luna, who seems to be a bit of a contentious character given the other comments I've glanced at: she was an absolutely unbearable ass for most of the story -- it particularly irked me that she acted so prickly and offended when Nightmare Moon was brought up, in a way that implied she felt she was wronged and insulted by anyone mentioning something that was entirely her own fault to begin with; that would be, to be quite honest, a bit like a serial robber getting high and mighty whenever anyone mentions they used to beat people senseless and rob them blind for a living -- and her reaction at the end towards something Celestia had objectively little to no control over was... well, utterly uncalled for, to put it lightly.
That being said, I felt that her general complaints had merit. Celestia is the ruler of her nation, and that comes with heavy responsibilities -- it bugs me a bit, I have to admit, when works try to keep characters in positions of authority as "one of the guys" (like Twilight was for the first couple seasons after her ascension, for instance). It is absolutely right, for a large number of reasons, to humanize authority figures and show them as being people like the ones they rule, but by the simple fact that you are now someone with significant authority over other people you are going to stand separate from them. People are not going to see themselves and the ones who govern their country and their laws as standing on equal footing.
Further: Celestia does have the right to look after herself and her well-being, but that has to be weighed against the simple fact that the lives and well-being of tens thousands or hundreds of thousands or even millions of people, depending on how big you have Equestria, depend on what she does and how she acts. The impact of a monarch not doing their job is going to be far more severe than that of a clerk or schoolteacher or grocer being inattentive or daydreaming. Put it this way: it's easily agreed that a parent's duty to their child will generally trump their desire to relax and enjoy themselves when the two come in conflict. Rulership of a country is, in a sense, that magnified.
Which isn't to say that Celestia can never take time for herself -- she absolutely can and should, obviously -- but the point I'm trying to make is that she needs to weight this against her other responsibilities and that her position is always going to set her apart from her subjects, and I genuinely do not think she comes to this realization for much of this story, if at all so far.
I suppose I see Luna here quite a bit like how I see Pharynx in "To Change a Changeling" -- generally right in the basic message they're trying to get across, far too vicious and aggressive in how they're actually trying to get it across, and dealing with profound personal issues pertaining to not feeling a sense of belonging in their home anymore and of being scorned, detested and feared by everyone around them.
Implying at least one more sequel after Velvet's Promise? Excellent news!
We made a good choice, here. :)
Ok
I have to admit that this kind of story, drama and such is not my usual fare... At least not if it is not part of the larger story.
Still I have to say that it was one of the most interesting things on FimFic I've read so far, and it kept me glued to the seat.
You've made an excelent point and very unique idea... so definitely upvote and fav from me
And I will check the rest of your library
Oh holy cow! This is what happens when you go on vacation for a week! RIP my inbox...
I'm going to try and reply to everyone's comments here shortly.
8950795
Thanks very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
And, yes, there are plans to carry the potential for this story a little further--check out my RCL interview, if you haven't already.
8984207
Wow! Those are some really fun memories! I actually played trumpet for a bit, too, but I was never any good at it...
8984994
I'm honored that you enjoyed this so much! I'm not sure I'll be able to answer all your comments, but I wanted to answer this one: yes, Cece probably could have got a private tutor, but, as she hints at later, the social aspects of going to a public school, being in band, etc., are more important to her than the actual education.
8986747
Thanks! The italics represent Celestia's memories--when she's narrating something that happened in the past, it's in all italics.
8986820
I hope it lives up to your expectations!
8987354
Yeah, this Twilight isn't good at dealing with stress anyways, especially social stress. Suddenly hearing that you have to be a public figure, in addition to everything else, wouldn't help
8987934
Hehe--I just picked that formula off an online quiz site. Thanks for the solution, though!
8988072
Thanks for the compliment! I hadn't thought of the Alicorn Amulet--but that sounds like a great idea! There might be room for it in a sequel!
8988118
Wow, read it all in one day? Now that's dedication!
And thanks for the compliments, of course!
8988136
Luna's behavior in this chapter is, in part, a defense mechanism. When she hears that they're in Canterlot--i.e., that her plans more-or-less failed--she attempts to take control of the situation, at least in the way that she can. The idea behind this chapter is that Celestia is beginning to realize that her cold, demanding demeanor might actually be an act, at least in part.
8988148
I was going for: Celestia feels that Luna is going to blame her for what's going on, regardless of whether or not she actually had anything to do with it. And Luna's emotional enough to lash out at anyone nearby, which just so happens to be her.
8988513
That's kind of the hope. I wanted to pique everyone's interest in this first chapter, and I thought that having the previous Princess die would be the way to do it.
8988918
Hehe--I think you're the first to say anything about that! For the record, the school mascot is the Canterlot Great Apes; I have vague plans for Cece to attend a homecoming game in the sequel, so we might see a little more of them soon
8989783
Hehe! Yes, "foundering" is my personal favorite pony-swear. Refers to a particularly nasty medical condition (IIRC, when a horse's hooves start to fall off) and it just sounds profane to boot.
8989937
Thanks for the detailed analysis! FWIW, in my head, Luna's harshness comes, at least in part, because she's projecting her own guilt. That's also why she hates when people mention Nightmare Moon--it physically hurts to be reminded of her greatest failure, which she masks with cold anger.
And, yes, I have plans to take this story all the way through season 4--though season 2 is kinda kicking my butt ATM. Still brainstorming, though.
8990332
I... hadn't thought of that, actually. Probably badly; one social recluse, plus one extreme introvert, would probably mean lots of awkward silences. Perhaps Twilight had to force herself to speak to Flutters, especially since she probably felt the exact same way.
And I have plans for Spike to appear, but not for a couple fics, yet.
8992441
I'll take that as a compliment. I've always admired writing that hits me in the feels, so to hear it's making you sad makes me happy, in a weird, twisted way.
8993272
Thank you very much for your comments! I'm glad you liked the story so much!
8994100
I'm glad you finally tried it, and that you liked it, too!
8995108
Hehe, I'm glad I could surprise you! And, of course, I'm glad you picked up on that foreshadowing :)
8996833
Possibly; in my head, Cece doesn't like being Princess, but also doesn't see an alternative--it's been her entire life, even before she was crowned. Thus, Luna's demand that she renounce the Peytral would be like telling her to eat her own hat.
9000792
[Deep bow] I am honored, sir. I'm glad you enjoyed it, both as a reviewer and as a plain ol' reader!
9001359
I'm glad it worked out! I hope the rest of my stories continue to please!
You can has review!
Now, this was a rollercoaster of feels.
I think you've earned this watch of mine more times over than anyone would care to count, but I hope it means something. A little thing, given back for such an emotionally epic fic.
Thank you for this experience.
-Eric
I was slow to read this at first, but I found I rather enjoyed it. Keep up the good work
9579514
>"Mearas"
Ah, the too-dense pony pun. I have a couple of those--for example, I was very proud of "Qilinese" for Chinese, at least until the Kirin episode dropped... (same pronunciation, different spelling)
> "winking"
I don't get it, and I'm not sure I want to. Knowing that it refers to something sexual, it sounds positively pornographic
Either way--thanks so much for reading, and I'm glad you liked it! Let me know if/when you're ready to beta-read the next one :)
9603562
The CHS in the Human World gets a horse; it's only fair the CHS in the Equine world gets an ape :)
9605010
i guess that makes sense
9908659
I'm glad you're enjoying this story so much!
For what it's worth: the mechanics of the Peytral are explained a little better in the next story. Basically, when she took the Peytral from her mother, it became hers, and it stays hers until she dies, even if she takes it off.
9908674
Ahhh, okay! Good to know! (Also for some reason I'm not getting notifications??? I only knew you replied because I saw your response in the last chapter.)
9580162
It refers to... a particular display by a mare ready to mate / in heat. Bit smoother than "bucking" which always sounded dumb to me.
9941360
Oh, I know what it means, at least in the sexual sense. I wasn't sure if that's what he was referring to, though, because it didn't appear to fit the context.
9983551
hehe, I'm glad you're enjoying this story so much!!
This story is incredible. The characters you've created are convincing and loveable. Instead of being linear, you sprinkle little memorable yet unalike scenes. They flow well together and I never thought you were telling us details that didn't relate to the whole. You had me on the edge of my seat and I never wanted to stop reading! I started following you after your story "To Be Kind" but am looking forward to reading through all your wonderful stories. Thanks you for sharing this with us!
10791385
Thank you!
10794491
My ponies are, indeed, quadripeds. However, I prefer using the human-equivalent anatomical gems for readability's sake.
10794790
In that case, it might be worth adjusting a sentence here or there to explicitly refer to using magic to hold sewing needles, fish in pockets, and work trumpet valves.
Horses (and ponies in-show) can sometimes hold on to things using what on a human would be the crook of their wrist, but that's about as difficult and clumsy as it sounds (and describing it would still help the reader, if that's what they're doing). They can also be pretty dexterous with their lips (which is why quill-writing by mouth was a thing for non-unicorns in the show). For hooves alone, even with the "sticky hooves" cartoon convention, it's not just like trying to pick up things or type with your feet - it's like trying to pick up things or type with your feet with your shoes on, as the hoof wall is one solid piece.
In any event, thank you for writing the fic; I enjoyed reading it!