A Note On Pony Anatomy · 11:06pm May 18th, 2016
I'm in the middle of writing WTF pt. 2 right now, and I'm realizing that my writing style might cause some confusion. So, I wanted to get this out of the way, now:
There appears to be a lack of consensus on how authors should write their ponies--are they tiny horses? Are they four-legged humans? Kudzuhaiku, for example, writes his ponies basically as horses, including all the correct anatomical terms. Though I adore his stories, it always takes me a minute to parse "barrel," "dock," and "frog" into their (very roughly) human-equivalent terms of "chest," "butt," and "foot." Not to mention he caused a fair amount of stir in the comments for "The Sun Also Surprises" when he revealed that Celestia's romantic interest was 15 years old. His age has since been explained/hand-waved rather admirably--basically, 15 is just shy of proper adulthood--but quite a few readers (myself included) were screaming "OMG PEDO-LESTIA???" for quite a while.
I, however, go the other direction: my ponies are basically humans. That is, in my stories, pony ages are equivalent to human ages, use human anatomical terms, etc. I do this primarily because a) I think it makes it easier to read, and b) it's how I think of the characters in my head--after all, actual horses don't have horns or wings :P
Some quick rules (for both my benefit and yours)
* Pony anatomy is referred to using the human-equivalent terms (e.g., "chest" as opposed to "barrel")
* Forelimbs are described using whatever terms are appropriate for what the pony is doing at the moment--i.e., a pony cocks back an arm to throw a ball, but stamps their foreleg in anger.
* Pony ages--especially the onset of puberty and the age of majority--correspond exactly to human ages (e.g., they enter school at six or so, and graduate from high school at about 18)
* And, important for this story (where everybody's gettin' preggers): pony reproduction works the same as humans. That is, pregnancies last 9 months, and twins and triplets are rare, though not unheard of, and proceed relatively complication-free*.
So, yeah: as you're reading my stories, I hope that this will make things a little easier on you--my ponies have four legs and candy-colored coats, but are otherwise basically humans.
So, which do you prefer? Do you prefer writers with tiny horses, or writers with quadrupedal humans?
As thanks for reading this far, have some recommendations:
* The Moon Has A Harsh Mistress, by Eruantalon: Though this is currently on hiatus, it's written by one of my ponyfriends, and has a unique, hard-sci-fantasy take on the MLP canon. Basically: what if Twilight Sparkle grew up in a lunar penal colony, powered by Nightmare Moon herself?
* The Sun Also Surprises, by KudzuHaiku. I hate shipfics. I love The Sun Also Surprises. This one shares several themes with my own For The Good Of Equestria, in fact--Celestia is struggling to deal with her immortality, and her subsequent loneliness. However, Kudzu takes a different route: in this case, Cadance steps in and helps her aunt find a suitor. It's absolutely adorable, and you really come to feel for both Celestia and her Special Somepony. Plus, Kudzu is a terrific tease.
* Who Hijacked Twilight Sparkle?, by Hoopy McGee. I've only recently discovered Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, and I absolutely adore it. Who Hijacked Twilight Sparkle takes the world of Roger Rabbit and brings it into the 21st century--we see bits of what it looks like when television horns in on 'Toon territory, and what happens when series get cancelled. But most importantly: we get to see Twilight's side of things. Like, how does Twilight feel about the various changes she's been put through? Yes, in this case, we're talking about a cartoon actress playing the part of Twilight, but this is some of the introspection I've been wanting to see since I first heard of Twilicorn. The ending is a little sudden, but it's otherwise excellent.
Anyways, back to the grindstone! Keep an eye out for WTF 2--Ideally, it'll be posted within the next week or so!
*In actual horses, multiple pregnancies usually work out very badly for everyone involved, especially the foals. In fact, I've read a guide that suggests that breeders, when they realize that a mare is carrying twins, to kill one of the developing foals, or abort the pregnancy entirely.
My actual preference is a mix of the two, however in the end write the story in a way that feels natural to you. Don't shackle yourself to reader demands!
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I'm curious--what sort of writing style do you prefer? Like, what do you mean by "a mix?"
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By mix I mean a mixture of anatomy terms. like using frog for the soft inner part of the hoof but chest to indicate the chest area. It's a way to keep terms a reader may be unfamiliar with simple while injecting terms that have no humanoid equivalent. You can also serve a dual purpose in showing Little Ponies as something other than horses or Sol 3 ponies. Sort of a context reminder that while these being are equine in shape they are four-legged sophonts and not just strangely-colored talking horses.
But advice from me is a mixed bag, I suck as a writer, go on, read the two chapters I have up if you don't believe me.
Myself, I tend a lot more toward describing ponies with horse anatomy. They don't look like humans, and we've seen them acting like no human would act (e.g. picking stuff up using their mouths; running on four legs); why should we describe them as humans? And to some level, this applies to their culture, too. The lack of hands and presence of cutie marks (to pick only two examples) would've had a huge impact on things. In my stories, I like introducing pony-unique figures of speech - e.g. brainstorming is "walking the meadow"; "on the one hoof / other hoof" leads to a third "on the rear hooves."
But on the other hand/hoof... the show does show an uncanny resemblance to modern earth. Specifically, it shows or assumes ponies have something very near human social and moral norms and structure. A lot of authors have tried to show ponies as being a lot "freer" about their sexuality... and it never clicked for me. It seems to violate far too much of what we've seen go on onscreen. Then, there was one other good fic which happened to mention that most animals in Equestria reproduce asexually... and that, too, violated the spirit of what the show shows us. If authors like you take this farther and write ponies as "basically humans," then - as long as they don't go too far and include too much specifically modern American culture - I can't object.
And thanks for the fic rec! My non-ponyfic novel* has been going pretty well, and I'm hoping to get back to The Moon Has a Harsh Mistress later this summer.
*In which I am totally close-mouthed regarding the ages of both the protagonist and his younger sister, to avoid raising the concerns you've described in your post. Really, medieval peasants rarely married before 20, because they needed to be able to support a family first. But then, so many people would assume I'm unjustifiably importing modern cultural norms...
It should be noticed that horses have both a chest and a barrel. The chest is the area just below the neck facing frontwards. The barrel is the ribcage and the area behind the forelegs. They are two very different areas.
The dock isn't actually the butt... it is the base of the tail. It is full of nerves and it is quite sensitive. A horse will be your very bestest friend if you can earn their trust and then give them a scratching in this area. Just be careful around mares as scratching them can make them randy and then they don't want to be friends, they'll want something else from you.
And that can be awkward. Telling a big, bossy mare "no" is damn near impossible.
Fun fact: horses flirt by biting.
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Oh geez--you haven't worked with horses yourself have you?
Sounds like you have a little experience with that sort of thing...
And I didn't know that about the dock. I thought you were just reacting against the use of "flank" (IIRC, side of the abdomen, forward of the hip) as "butt". But that provides some really fun connotations, too...
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The dock is actually an erogenous zone on mares. When mounted, the stallion rubs his belly over the area where the dock connects and it arouses the female. Makes her receptive and frisky. Horses will roll over on the ground to get that sweet spot above their dock scratched. Once a horse gets worked up, both stallions and mares, they will then proceed to masturbate like crazy. Mares will find something to rub themselves off on; fence posts, trucks, tractors, stall walls, and any unfortunate people they crush up against the wall, pinning them in place and using them to get off. Stallions will bob their penises up and down against their belly, slapping themselves, and after they blow their load all over the dirt, they will fall down and roll around in it, because the smell drives mares crazy. Nothing quite like brushing out sun dried stallion spooge that's caked on to their pelt. Yep. Fun time. Or having to hold a mare still and pick splinters out of her mare parts because she thought a fence post would make a fantastic lover.
secondhandhorsestuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/horse_anatomy_-_dock.jpg
And yes, I've worked quite a bit with horses.
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Oh, holy cow. That's... that's more information than I was expecting...
and it also makes sense why you use anatomically-correct terminology, too. I don't know how much experience you've had, but it sounds like it's second nature to you.
In my case, my family had horses for a while, but I only really interacted with them when I fed them in the mornings. Which is why I still have a hard time wrapping my head around it (my fault, not yours).
Ew, gross--but, more importantly, is pelt the proper name for horse fur? "Fur" sounds strange to me, and "hair" doesn't quite fit either...
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From a world building standpoint, making a world based on the behaviours of civilised, intelligent horses is a challenge. They're NOT humans. At all. They have different behaviours, different anatomy, different psychology, different biology, and taking all of these things into account when making the world they live in makes for better storytelling. WHY would a talking pony do something... what motivates them? What compels them to action? What would a conflict between their instinct and their reason cause them to feel, to think, and how would it make them react?
Having ponies as human analogues makes for lazy writing. I use this example a lot, but here's a question: Why would a pony go to a strip club? Really? It is such a common trope in so many stories. The ponies go to a strip club to watch strippers and drink beer.
But WHY would they do this? They're naked most of the time. This is a human behaviour. What motivation could a pony possibly have to go to a strip club? Or even own a strip club? Wouldn't getting dressed in clothing be more in line with a deviant behaviour?
By stepping outside of the human perception, one has the opportunity to improve as a writer and try something new. It takes more imagination and creativity. Why continue with the same old same old when we have a chance to try something new that could make us grow?
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Ah, that... that makes a lot of sense, actually. Hm. I might try that sometime...
Personally, I'm coming from the perspective of reader response. Part of this might come from my own writing background--my first major in school was Computer Science, which hammered into me that what your programming code actually does should be self-evident: that is, the best code is easy to understand, as well as functional. I think that's bled over into my fiction writing: I try to keep my writing relatively simple and immediately comprehensible.
It's the same reason why I try and avoid high-falutin' vocabulary (unless I'm using it on purpose, e.g., to make someone sound like they're faking intelligence)--that is, I try my use easy-to-read vocabulary that doesn't dumb down the writing. It's also reason why I drop the (very) occasional human swear in my pony stories: human readers have an innate visceral reaction to "Oh, my God" that "Sweet Celestia" doesn't trigger, canon be darned.
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That's something that always bugs me. "Hell."
Ponies don't have a hell. They have Tartarus. So... why would a pony be saying the world "hell" over and over? What meaning would it have? The language needs to be consistent with the world they live in. There is no hell, so there is no conceivable means for it to exist as a swear word.
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I agree. Which is why I use them very sparingly, and only for extraordinary emphasis (e.g., in the fic I'm currently working on, Pinkie almost goes insane with fear, has a breakdown, and lets slip an "oh god").
On another subject entirely--I feel like it's not entirely clear what Tartarus is in context of the show? The name is taken from the Greek underworld, but Celestia appears to use it as an extra-dimensional(?) prison, rather than as the realm of wicked dead.
That's neither here nor there, of course--just a little oddity I've noticed.
(FWIW, in my headcanon, Celestia named the prison after the place)
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But why would it have any relevance to her?
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It's not--but, in this case, that's not the point: instead, it has relevance to the reader. By using a swear that triggers an emotional response, I'm hoping to help the reader feel her distress, rather than just reading about it.
For comparison: in another scene I'm batting around, two characters will get into a shouting match--and, though they're very loud and angry, their argument is ultimately more funny than traumatic. So, in this case, they'll use pony swears exclusively--"Buck you" and "Sweet Celestia" won't trigger that same emotional response, which will allow the reader to get by without that same "oh gosh, they're really serious" response. Or, that's the hope anyways, not having put it to paper yet.
Perhaps think of my sparing use of human swears it as a deliberate fourth-wall breaking, done in service of the emotional experience of the narrative, and not just because I can't be bothered with ctrl+h "hell" --> "Tartarus."
...does that make sense what I'm going for? I know it's not how you like to do things, but I hope I'm explaining myself adequately, at least.
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Oh, I get it. I understand it.
But when I read about somepony saying "Oh God" or "Hell" it jerks me out of the story. 
So much so that sometimes, I just stop reading. I've quit reading several fics that I actually liked a great deal simply because there was so much language that was just too out of place. It was jarring to have the words "Oh God" just tossed around willy nilly.
Telegraphing to the reader with the words "Oh God" is an example of telling vs showing. When you have a pony say "Oh God" you are telling the reader to react now. It works in practice, but wouldn't it be better to draw them in through showing?
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Oh, doing plenty of that. This comes at the end of about four pages of her slowly losing her mind--it's just (intended to be) the last twist of the knife.
And, I would argue that using speech patterns and quirks of dialog (rather than explicit exposition) to establish character/state of mind would be showing, not telling--though I suppose we just need to agree to disagree on that point