Twilight Sparkle goes in for her first physical after ascending to an alicorn.
Nurse Redheart was not prepared for this by any stretch of the imagination.
Written for FanOfMostEverything as part of my 100 Followers 'contest'.
Featured on 12/21/2017 while I was sleeping!. APPARENTLY, I STRUCK GOLD WITH THIS ONE. Woo! Thank you all!
Spanish/Español: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/La-fisiologia-del-equus-alicornyus-937900145 by SPANIARD KIWI
-GM, master of contestants.
Heh, that was nice. Can't think of anything else to say, so... yeah.
Maybe instead of a cinder block she should have brought an anvil to see if she could make a dent on it.
I quite enjoyed that.
Oh thank celestia, faust and everything else she didn't boop the nose, booping the nose would be very bad, yes very bad indeed.
That's a good Nurse Redheart, you get the buck out of dodge while you can!
the wing laser cracked me up
8622036
it seemed nurse redheart was also cracked up at that as well.
8621889
I would MUCH rather take a chunk of cinder block to the head than a shard of ANVIL!
Great little piece on a practical problem. One of those things that makes you wonder. Only thing I might have changed is the laser trigger: I get that each side triggers a different aspect, but we've seen Pinkie Pie use Twilight's tail as a trigger for the gatling gun shots. Other than that, no remarks, have a like!
The contrast between what she says and what she thinks is what I believe really creates the humor for this piece.
8622239
The tail was for the gatling laser. Which, as we saw, were blunt-force blasts. The wing-laser is for precision cutting attacks, as demonstrated.
8622300
Ah, yes, the mystical powers of the Swiss Army Unicorn Horn. Forgot about that
8622312
Imagine what we'll have to do to see the wide-angle thermal laser! I'm pretty sure this Alicorn version of the Swiss Army Unicorn Horn comes equipped with one.
New Princess Twilight Sparkleâ„¢! With Magic Beam Actionâ„¢ and Kung Fu Stompâ„¢!
Tremendously glad that you went with my idea and turned it to something this amazing. Thank you for it.
8622338
Apparently, the idea was pure gold, so thank you. This has blown up in the greatest way possible!
-GM, master of PREVIOUSLY...
nooooo red heart it was chance to be something great you just had to get over your fear and you could have gone far kid
8622334
"Hang on, lemme just... okay, left ear is down, right wing is up, and if I can just get my tongue far enough on your right ear..."
Cue Death Star laser.
That's totally how it works, and no one can prove otherwise
If Twilight could function as a laser gatling gun before, what is she now? A bazooka with bullet shields?
I... I have done something I haven't done in a long time while reading a fic. I laughed out loud. My sister actually asked what I was doing from the other room.
I loved this story 11/10 lasers - ign
This w as a pleasant little time-spender. Thanks for writing it.
Oh, Nurse Redheart discovered the controls to the Twiligun Mk. II!
I imagine that if Pinkie Pie had a medical degree (not saying she doesn't) she would be able to tell exactly what's going on intuitively
8622673
She didn't find the safety catch yet, though.
They dont understand the laser thing either.
8622530
Wilco!
Wait until she gets as old as my OC Alicorn then the really odd stuff starts happing.. Like cause villains to attack Equestria every time sneezes, whole kingdoms to randomly disappear and reappear a 100 years later because of itch.. Ponies disappearing for 1000 years because of winking around.. etc,etc..But serious now.. That was funny but it left me to wonder. How normal would Alicorn health be..?? Oh well it was fun in it's own twisted way
why is red heart often depicted as hating her job?
Poor Redheart...
But I can at least say she has the mind of a scientist.
imgs.xkcd.com/comics/the_difference.png
Thanks for the silliness.
I'm guessing the enlarged throat is to assist in cake-glormphing, but I have no idea what's going on with the glow or the hum.
8622864
I like to think she likes her job. It's just that, like all medical professionals, when something unexpected comes up it's just asking for a disaster. This was just a bad day for her.
-GM, master of comeupance.
8622941
fair enough everyone does have a off day
It'll be a long time until they figure out that alicorns physiologies are modeled after action figures.
I feel bad for the department once flurry heart is born..... or when Candace is pregnant with flurry heart
8623042
.....Flurry would sneeze and vaporize the poor nurse ._.
8622794
It was always worth a chuckle, seeing the Death Star using a Grass Valley Group analog A/V production switcher to blow up a planet.
8621889
Reminded me of this Far Side comic with the tennis ball:
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8f/9d/51/8f9d510976f160b4344cdc20b7edb0ac.jpg
8622782
I'm pretty sure we don't want to know where that is...
lol. short but very nice. have a like and fav
THANK YOU for remembering Twilight has Earth pony traits now!
Redheart: "It's okay. This is just the usual Ponyville-stuff. After working in the local hospital for years I got kind of used to it."
: "That's great!"
According to the show that should usually happen while moving the tail, not the wing.
8623140
I mean she blew through how many floors of the crystal castle with that one sneeze? Heaven forbid nurse Redheart is in the line of fire!
Genuine question: why is this advertised?
862334 while true, Twilight was also a pure unicorn during the wedding battle.
8623481
Is it not something that people do? I see it on a lot of stories at the end of the description, they have it say when they are featured and have a little personal message on it. I guess I did write it in the heat of the moment, but hey, I was excited!
EDIT: top now edited to sound a little less braggy.
-GM, master of squares.
That's quite a bit of chaos for a pony who is essentially the Princess of Harmony. Next up is Physiology of Discordiae Ille Qui Pulsat!
8623504
Yeah, some authors do that. Particularly with their first story that gets featured. (I know I did.)
It's less common on one-shots, but I've seen them quite frequently there, too. Don't worry about it.
I mean, if it's a long story, and you add a line for every single time it gets featured, people might think you're a bit ego-centric, but that doesn't matter in this case.
If you feel it was a significant achievement, or it was sufficiently surprising to you, keep it there.
How you manage to convey this in such a mundane feeling manner just sells this line for me.
8623244
Somewhere near the seatbelts.
It turns out all alicorn powers emanate from a mysterious orb in their chests. Later, this happens...
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/2/15/244414__safe_artist-colon-aaeiou90_twilight+sparkle_alicorn_crossover_end+of+evangelion_end+of+ponies_end+of+the+world_female_goodbye_immortality+blues.png
But it was all part of the plan...
fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/168/3/f/it__s__the__pose__by_sweetiebelle_fim-d3j4lyf.png
Faust-dammit, Celestia!
8624205
Gendo Celestia was something I didn't know I needed in my life.