While working on a spell to see if Pinkie and Applejack are related, Twilight discovers that she has a little sister: Scootaloo! But how is this possible? And, more importantly, how will this affect them?
Featured 11/6/17
Chapters (8)
Darthvalgaav
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I am interested to see how this going! Like to read more! Can't wait to see the next chapter!
Dun dun dunnn! Velvet will be sleeping on ze couch for the forseeable future methinks.
i believe the fecal matter hit the rotary oscillating device. how are they sparkles going to get out of this mess.
well the shit has hit the fan
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Well The-Thing-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named has hit the.... the... Ummm... Fan.
I am completely unsympathetic of Scootaloo's plight. Her attitude makes me want to punch her in the face. There's no real explaination for her behavior at school and her obsessing over dash is borderline creepy. There's nothing wrong with the story itself, but the way she's acting bugs me. I get that her life's probably been rough, but there really isn't any detail for me to piece together why she's acting the way she is. You have a good plot here though and I do look forward to seeing how this all plays out, Well done Darling
Its a bit weird if Velvet managed to have a successful affair without begin discoverd if it resulted in a pregnancy. But I guess we will find out about it soon enough.
My, my, my... You have my attention, let's see how things playout as the drama begins to unravel.
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Give it a few more chapters to see how things play out a bit first
Uh Oh
8533618
For the visible aspects of being pregnant there is always an illusion spell. But for the craving and morning sickness and the mood swings those can be hidden with really good acting skills (like she just want to try new foods or she has a mysterious month long illness that requires seclusion). Then for the delivery she could say she had to meet someone for a job or somehting in ponyville (beacuse thats where the orphanage is). It would be difficult but not impossible.
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Maybe, but feels like a lot of work for a foal just to give it up to an orphanage. Why not just make an abortion if that's the case?
I think there might be something else than an affair that is in the works here. But I guess we will se.
this is going to go bad,
for some reason i can see Scootaloo being the daughter of twilight and some random guard she had one night stand when she was younger, and end up pregnant but somehow kept it hidden or give up the foal.
I hate to do the Grammar Nazi thing, but it’s “bated” breath, not “baited”. That last sounds like Twilight, Spike, and Scootaloo collectively mixed up the tackle box with the lunch box whilst on a lazy fishing trip.
That said, I like where this story is headed. Scootaloo sounds almost like a younger me in school, embarrassing as it is to admit. Still, once the shock wears off, it would be a pretty interesting report to write on her older half sister.
Oh, but Twilight Velvet is in the doghouse. Sparkle tried so hard to keep this a private conversation...best laid plans.
Excellent intro, very nice work.
Well now, this is an interesting premise - and one indeed has to wonder how Scootaloo came about. Given her age (and assuming the spell worked properly ... but then again a "regular" DNA spell turned up the same result, so I guess that's double confirmation of it being true), Velvet having an affair indeed seems the most likely option. It's hard to imagine how else Scootaloo could have ended up at an orphanage. Granted, it's difficult to imagine how Velvet could have hidden her pregnancy as well, illusions or no (especially from Night), but I guess she could have taken a "trip" for a few months or something.
Anyway, I can't wait for Velvet's response the next chapter. Actually I'm surprised Twilight reacted as calmly (and cordially in the letter) as she did - I honestly expected for her Castle to explode in a cloud of magical acceleration as she crossed the distance from Ponyville to Crystal Empire in ten seconds flat, make a second crater upon landing, then beat her mother's door down before shaking the answers out of her
One thing I'm unsure about is how you wrote Scootaloo though - she is coming across as incredibly unsympathetic right now, and doesn't feel very faithful to how she is portrayed in the show either. It's very hard to connect this ... brat ... who is whining about not getting the cool 'sister' she wanted (especially considering it's all but guaranteed that she's getting out of the orphanage real soon one way or another, once Twilight gets her head in the game) to the actual in-show Scootaloo who actually likes Twilight quite a bit and is as ecstatic about Twilight Time and spending time with Twilight and have her teach her things as the other crusaders, and is as dejected as the others when she thought they had bucked up and their Twilight Time was over.
I mean, sure, she likes and idolizes Dash more. But actively screaming how Twilight isn't her real sister, when from all things that we have seen Twilight would probably be her second choice after Rainbow Dash and would likely still get her plenty excited? Yeah, it's hard to connect your Scootaloo with the canon one ... you should probably tread carefully with her, unless it's your intention for Scootaloo to be rather unlikable.
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There is also the issue of physical contact with her husband, especially if they share a bed (which they probably do), never mind physical intimacy. Illusions would indeed suffice for keeping strangers away, but Night really ought to have noticed unless their relationship has been pretty cold for a while now. Or went through a cooler phase, I guess.
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This is one thing I feel I should address. Yes, Scootaloo is coming across as bratty, but please look at it from a child's point of view. I stated that she does like Twilight, but fears more what she is going to loose. More will come to explain her behavior because she is my favorite member of the CMC.
I feel like the fecal matter is about to hit the oscillating air current device because Twilight Velvet asked her husband to read the letter...
What I find interesting is that everyone's assuming that Night Light doesn't know. The only thing we have about that is that Twilight doesn't think her father knows. His reaction at the end of this chapter is silence, not anger.
It's very possible he was aware of his wife's indiscretion and still decided he loved her enough to stay with her. There may have been plans to pass off Scootaloo as a younger sibling, but the kibosh was put on that when she turned out to be a pegasus. With Twilight as Celestia's personal protegee and Shining Armor in the guard, it could very well easily be kept quiet. If any neighbor noticed, it may have been passed off as a miscarriage/stillbirth.
But I agree that Scoots is kinda off-canon. We know she loved Twilight Time, and all three Crusaders get along well with Twilight. While her image of Twilight at the Sisterhooves Social may be accurate (and funny!), it's still pretty harsh.
8533816
I'm trying to see things from her POV, but it's still not really looking too good for her
I mean, she's likely days away from getting out of the orphanage, she will get to live with her actual family whom she knows cares about her (I mean, it's Twilight we are talking about here), she'll get to spend more time with Twilight (which we know she doesn't generally mind at all), it's not like she will get to see Dash any less (let's be honest - she doesn't really see Dash all that often anyway :P) ...
I mean, I'm trying to see what exactly she is supposed to fear losing, but I can't come up with much. That she's likely to end up running Sisterhooves Social with Twilight instead of Dash? And if we are being fair about it, Twilight is probably the third most physically active member of the group anyway, AJ and Dash aside, and has become a pretty good flier who likes the activity - another thing Scootaloo is likely to appreciate and a potential bonding point.
Sure, Twilight's neither as cocky nor brash as Dash, which is what obviously appeals to Scootaloo, but she's not a Fluttershy either - and we know Scootaloo actually likes learning things from time to time. And it's not like Twilight would lock her in the castle or spirit her away to another city, so ... I am wholly unsympathetic to Scootaloo's imagined "downsides".
And she is an orphan at this point. Imagine how this complaining makes her look on the background of all the other abandoned and unwanted foals, many of whom will likely never get adopted, will never get to know any of their family or that they care and will never get to know the warmth of their own home until they are old enough to be forced to move out and make one of their own in whatever form that takes. To many of those orphans, being adopted is probably a dream that will never come true.
Meanwhile, Scootaloo is going "Man, this sucks! Why am I about to become sisters with a Princess who, turns out, is my actual family and a quite caring pony! She, like, likes to read more than I do! Why couldn't a cool pony adopt me instead of my actual family!". That's incredibly unsympathetic from someone in Scootaloo's position. It's coming across as very petty. There are likely dozens of orphans in that very house who would kill to be in her position.
I mean, I guess (and hope) that this largely the initial shock of the situation talking and that Scootaloo will behave more calmly when the situation has had some time to sink in and the emotions to settle. But the current Scootallo? Who is all but screaming in her head that Twilight isn't her sister and she isn't going to accept that because she didn't get the cooler pony? I'm afraid I see nothing to be sympathetic with here, for now.
This is... I don't even know what to say to this, there's actually a little bit of an irony... interesting fic so far.
8533908
Well there are other reasons for her to act this way that I can't share. Only point out that other characters have noticed a change in behavior.
8533816
It's not a matter of a child's POV, she's OOC. If that's what you intend, then perhaps some form of explanation as to why this is not the Scootaloo the audience is familiar with in the coming next parts of the story will help.
8533954
I will do what I can without spoiling something big
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Honestly I'm surprised by these comments. The beginning of the chapter is hitting us over the head that Scootaloos obsession with Rainbow is getting worse. Heck, her friends are pointing out that she's acting differently. Something is clearly going on with her that might explain why she is acting like this so I think it's a bit too soon to be screaming OOC.
Speaking of screaming, Scootaloo is not doing that at all. Just tossing and turning in bed after something major has been dropped on her and she has a somewhat legitimate fear. She likes Twilight but is afraid of losing RD as her honorary big sis. She's still a kid guys.
On another note, I kind of like this idea of Scootaloo not fully embracing something like this. We could get resentment towards Twilight since Scootaloo was the one abandoned in the woods. It a welcome change to all the vanilla stories we get when something like this happens
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Excellent to hear. Looking forward to more!
Well... this was unexpectedly great, looking forward to more
8533816
Loving this story. As someone who comes from a family that's big into genealogy, I like how the spell works and the motivation for crafting it.
Looking forward to its next installment.
Unless I misunderstood the spell, it pointed to Scootaloo only having one sibling. Twilight. Both sharing Velvet as the mother. Does this mean that Shining comes from a different mother or is adopted himself?
Questions. Questions.
Unless I overlooked the part where Shining was also mentioned in the spell, in which case ignore me.
Retention is almost always worse off for everyone involved. I know that it serves the plot, but you should be aware that having Cheerilee bring it up as a punishment characterizes her as a bad teacher, I'm not sure if this was intentional.
Ouch this sounds like Twilight Velvet will have tons of explaining to do.
Uh oh. Somepony’s in trouble.
more
hoo boy, thats one conversation thats going to end in tears.
Twilight and Scootaloo are secret half-sisters ; Velvet has had a foal with another stallion : Night Light is reading the letter...
What could go wrong?
I am interested. This fanfic looks good!
Please continue
Oh, poo. The Vigoro has hit the mixmaster.....
Oooh i'm loving this, can't wait to see the drama unfold.
mmhh go on.
why did scoot go back to the orphanage? thats super weird to me, as i'd think two of the sparkle family finding out in real time they have a little sister standing next to them, a princess of equestira would have no trouble with the caretaker.
Night Light: "Umm... Twilight, my dear... y-you remember when I said your mother was 'Adventurous', r-right?"
Twilight Sparkle: "Yes... what does that have to do with her being pregnant with another colt's child, though?!"
Night Light: "Well... truth is, she and I were drunk one night, and thought it would be a good idea to get involved in a threesome."
Twilight Sparkle: "Gasp WHAT?! B-but... who was-"
Night Light: "Designated Driver. He was also drunk."
Twilight Sparkle: "Wait... your designated driver was drunk as well?!"
Night Light: "...Yes."
Twilight Sparkle: "Then how did he drive-"
Night Light: "How else do you think Scootaloo ended up in an Orphanage?"
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She's trying to stress to Scootaloo how important this is.
8534663
True, she a princess and could do that. But think about how awkward this is for both of them at them moment.
Well, this is interesting. Granted I'm a little surprised by this, if only because well Scootaloo doesn't share any phyiscal resemblance to Twilight or her mom, so that makes the relationship thing seem a little weird. Granted ponies don't always look like their parents, I mean Pinkie's entire family is predominantly grey while she's bright ass pink....then again that raises more questions than anything else.
Still the idea of Scootaloo being Twilight Velvet's secret love child is certainly an interesting idea and I'm more curious to see what happened and more importantly her defense. Cause ain't no letting this down gently, no that bomb didn't just get dropped, no it got NUKED! Subtly is officially out the window on this one and things are gonna get hairy
Still you have my intrigued by this concept and I'm eager to see where it goes.
Throwing a few questions...
1. Cutie Marks are really IDs?
Do the cutie marks tell the pony who they were born from? because there’s a big likely that somepony else as the same cutie mark as well since most talents are normally have the same thing.
2. Huh she has a twin out there somewhere? I wonder if it’s Rumbo
3. Don’t let this story die because there’s a story just like this back in S4 days were Shining Armor was the Father of Scoots
If you made a comment half as long as the story go... uck yo ef
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Even if Mark's aren't completely unique they probably don't repeat many times in one generation and having a parent/child pair match is insanely unlikely.
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That sorta already been done but less one night stand and random guard and more relationship with Shining Armor and Celestia didn't approve so she did memory wiping and altering and stole the foal and put her in an orphanage because she didn't want anything getting in the way of her plans.
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If Twilight doesn't give Scoots a hug and a room in her castle then I will be quite cross with her.
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The paper flitted to the ground as Night Light's magic faltered, the shock too much for his concentration.
He stared at Twilight Velvet with slack-jawed horror, and spoke but two words...
"She knows."