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Family Day.
A day in Ponyville where you celebrate your familial ties and show appreciation to your loved ones.
Spike and Scootaloo spend this day to talk about what 'family' means to them.
Written for the the 11th F-this-Prompt competition. The prompt being "Scootaloo is an orphan."
Edited by: Seventh Heaven
Cover art: CorruptionSolid
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A little cheesy maybe, but its that adorable type of cheese that you can't help but say "awwwww" at.
7292896 Thanks for checking it out!
7292909 You're welcome.
7292896 Yeah, it's not gross like blue cheese
I don't think I want to know what happened there.
Anyway, aside from the slight hiccup with the ellipses, the story flowed smoothly in my opinion. I like how Spike and Scootaloo bonded with each other, not to mention how the ending was sweet. And one of the story's greatest strengths was how it managed to address what's a grim topic without being too melodramatic. As a whole, it was a fun read and a nice story to address what is a tough prompt.
I lovely little piece. While cheesy, it is more than adorable enough to live with it, and short enough not to out stay its welcome. It is a nice antidote to the 'poor little orphan Scootaloo' stories.
I look forward to seeing how it does in the contest.
I'd say you could cook some of that cheese and make some nachos or fondue. besides that, it was pretty good. I did notice a few missing or extra comma usage, but it shouldn't take too much attention away from the story.
A nice, sweet, short story.
Bastard.
7293069 I revel in your praise.
7293000
7292979
Thanks! I wanted to write it with a more positive spin. Focus on the positive a bit as opposed to the negative.
It may have been cheesy, but I happen to like cheese.
You got the whine I'll need from all that cheese?
Very nice fic man
this work of fiction has a quality of being hasteful, and also being saccharine
You shall recieve mine token of approval and a place in my mental catalouge, good sir/madam
GOOD DAY
7292925
What kind of uncivilized rock, do you live under?!
7293261
Bullshit!
Normally, I'm not really into the whole "orphan Scootaloo" thing, but it's nice to see that she's at least taking it well. And I love how Twilight, Spike, and Rainbow are all there for her.
7293963 Yeah, the competition prompt is supposed to be over the top, so you have to work to make it good.
I decided to make it positive.
7293981
I liked how you did that.
7292979 Just visualize whirled peas.
7294230
7292979
Nothing good can come of investigating their death.
7293839 Thank you, kind male/female/other! Thanks for checking it!
peas are OP
also liked and faved
Such a heartwarming story...i love the way Spike and Scootaloo interact with Twilight and Rainbow..they really are one big happy family.
7294322 i.ebayimg.com/images/a/(KGrHqR,!jgFB93NWemSBQwT8UjkMg~~/s-l300.jpg
One does not simply mess with the green giant.
7294230 The world would be a better place.
Thanks for the cheese. I loved it.
I needed cheese for my nachos anyway. Thanks man!
In all seriousness though, this was a cute little story.
Muh Heart.
Cheesy, yes--but if we didn't have cheese, pizza would really suck.
7294750 One doe's not simple walk into a cheese fountain without green giant broccoli. Great story
7294750 my sides m8, they hurt
I loved this story! well done!
So much, I'm constipated now.
Lies! There was no Cheese here!
gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/6b298b46f4d5d98b2677397ddc6e1fafad9f926a/c=8-0-1916-1079&r=x329&c=580x326/local/-/media/USATODAY/popcandy/2014/01/15//1389800560000-weirdal.jpg
And he's not happy about it.
Good story though.
"Scootaloo...whats wrong with your sandwich?" Spike asks shakily. Bewildered, She looked down to her plate to notice that the swiss cheese has been oozing out of the sides of the bread at a constant rate. Twilight, finally taking notice teleports the excess cheese to some outer realm. But the magical interference only speeds up the rate of growth.
"Rainbow, we need to get everyone out of here!" Twilight shouts. But no answer came. As she looks to her left rainbow and the kids have already been consumed by a wall of hot cheese and pressed against the wall, malt shakes covering the floor as other customers follow the same fate. Hearing a gurgling behind her she slowly turns and greets the congregation of the restaurants many cheeses rise in a tidal wave to the point of touching the ceiling. And only at this point did she truly understand. The cheese is truth. Neither life nor death but existence itself. Closing her eyes, she submits herself to the dairy abyss. Scootaloo's last three words ringing in her mind...
7309290
7293261
Yeah, maybe a tiny but cheesy, but feelsy nonetheless. Nice job!
You have saved me, I was about to have a little party, but realized I didn't have any snacks. Thankfully all the cheese on the story fed all my friends. I o u one humongous amount of cheese.
Well, that was nice fluff, but it just really does feel too short. I mean, I'm a little bit of a hypocrite given that I've done fics of similar size, but it seems like there's only really a few crucial lines in the entire story (Spike talking about being raised by Twilight and Celestia in Canterlot and how he considers them his story), and everything else prior to that is set-up and everything after that is just winding down, whereas there could be just a little more meat to that section: perhaps Scootaloo could talk a little more about herself as well, instead of making it fairly one-sided on Spike's part and relegating the fate of Scoots' parents to a noodle incident.
My only question is would it not make more sense for Twilight to spend time with her own family and Spike to come along and spend time with his mom and aunt? Good story either way.
I was checking your page for the need of reading something cute.
Thank you, bro.
8293257
Bro, no problem! I remember when I was on a crazy one-shot kick with all these cute stories. If you haven't read it yet, I'd recommend ISSUES. It's probably my favorite of the cute stories I'v written.
8293260
I've read that before some time back. Nothing like a reread later on today.
What a gouda story. I had to read it caerphily to make sure I didn't miss all the grate moments between these characters. I will try to be brie-f, but I can't say enough how much I like this bit of cheddar.
I mean, I at least had my parents for a little bit, you know, before the accident with peas and floor waxer.
HOLY CRAP THAT IS HILARIOUS! HA HA! DARK . . . BUT HILARIOUS!
‘s cute. I like it
Very sweet:-)