Thanks, but please don't send me cash "tips." Instead, support this charity: The Fletcher Street Urban Riding Club.
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It was a surprise that Dash offered a kiss as a prize at the charity auction. It was a surprise that the colts were as "enthusiastic" as they were. It was a surprise that Dash didn't leap on the colts and beat them for their comments.
But, the biggest surprise of all was which one of her friends bid on her kiss... and why.
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Interesting...
Commence Reading!
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/034/b/a/sweetie_bot_by_ponyrake-d4okla5.png
Edit: Will write full review as soon as I arrive home!
You know, I'm having trouble coming up with words that truly describe my feelings. It was an amazing read, and you captured the emotions exceptionally well, like you always do, so I'm just sitting here feeling a wide range of emotions. Anger at the colts, shared confusion at the middle, and having a dopey smile on my face towards the end. All in all a very good and enjoyable read.
Dang, I'm honestly kind of angry at those colts.
But very proud of Spike.
Spike may not have bought a date with Rarity but I think he just earned it.
I love the conversations between Dash and Twilight and between Dash and Spike (and Twilight), very nice look at Dash's and Spike's feelings.
Excellent ending!
My only criticism would have to be the bit about Twilight's new cutie mark. Based on what we see of her in EQG, Twilight's mark as an alicorn is the same it's always been.
This is the third time I've almost shouted, "YES! THIS IS HOW A GUY IS SUPPOSED TO ACT!" while reading your fics, TD. The other two times being "Tangled Up in Blues" and "A Cup of Joe".
Well done, good sir, extremely well done.
Also, yay for Caboose-isms!
Oh, I found a typo somewhere but I'm too lazy to look up exactly where it was but i belive it was where Spike is explaining how a stallion should act that he says something like "..,isn't?" when I belive it should be "..,isn't it?".
Also, great story. Loved it.
// Sphex
Glad to see people are thinking about and enjoying the story as much as I did. Happy to have played my part in making that happen!
3175938
Darn it all! Looks like my editing skills weren't flawless! Argh.
wow total worth the stupid password thingy ... why did we had to use it again ?
3175026
Yeah, I saw that you were looking for more stories for your group, but I had promised myself that I would never enter a contest again, so I only sent this to my fan club when I knew it had been scrubbed by my editors. Even though it isn't "real shipping", if you'd like to add it to your group when it goes up, that would be great, and I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
3175079
Ah, yes... if I've managed to take my readers on an emotional roller-coaster ride, then I've done my best!
3175116
Then I have done my job!
3175132
Heh, I would say so, but that's a different fic entirely.
3175215
That's a good point about the cutie mark with six stars. It was just in the "fireworks" above Ponyvill and in her eyes, huh. Yeah, I just went back and looked at her in EqG again (that scene with... him. Gah!) and she still only has the five stars. Makes me wonder what it's all about. I'll fix it in the story.
Part of me is still gagging at the thought of "Flash Sentry... the Element of Love", though, in all honesty.
3175221
What can I say, Zap... I'm an old-fashioned kinda guy. I was wondering how long until RvB started to subconsciously make its way into my stuff!
3175347
Thanks!
3175583
I'm glad that you feel comfortable approaching me with these issues, John.
I can answer your first concern by saying that I feel that I don't think I portray Dash s trying to emulate males, but that she didn't ever really see the "girly stuff" as part of herself. I'm in full agreement with the show's premise, as you pointed out, that being a girl means many things. It is entirely natural, though, to wonder how others view us. As I've said before, I worry constantly about how my fellow gun-owning, Republican-leaning male associates would view me if they knew I watched a show for nine year old girls. Are my concerns about wondering about how others might view my masculinity, and how Spike thinks others view his, any different from Dash wondering how others view her femininity? Isn't it a double-standard to say that it isn't?
For the second concern, I can only say that it was not my intent. Spike views himself as a protector because that's what he wants to be, and therefore it's how he views his "imaginary dad". I'd like to think that Rarity and Twilight's action's in the first chapter showed that they could be protective as well.
As always, thanks for your input. Now that I've gotten this out of the way, back to Zenith!
3175709
Yeah, it would have gone to some very dark places if that had happened, places I'm not willing to go in my fics.
3175938
Glad you enjoyed the story, but now I have to spend the rest of the night I would have spent writing Zenith to find that one error!
3176168
Jut to view an unpublished work!
3175979
Thanks for your help, Argon!
3177484
Any time! In regards to that error, by the way, just open up Chapter 2, hit Ctrl+F, and search for "isn't?". You should find it right away!
Every Spike story you write I love more than the last, yet they all are my favorite in some way shape or form :)
3177540 also at one point uses "woory" rather then "worry"
Amazing story Descendant. Your portrayal of Spike has always been a favorite of mine and you did a great job with Dash too.
Plus the double middle finger. That was a great touch.
The only downside is that I can't add this to my favorites.
3177540
I'm sure that would work on a PC. On a Mac? Not so much!
3177593
That's quite the conundrum! Or is it a paradox? It's something... and I'm glad it is.
3177928
I guess it is just a difference between our head canons, in the end. I also view Dash as the strongest of the female leads, and driven, but I don't view her as infallible. I understand your point of view, though, and I thank you for sharing your insight as always, John.
3178763
I'm glad you are finding these things before I submit it!
3178965
Just wait until tomorrow! If it passes moderation, you can Fave it then!
3177484
hey TD are you going to add a chapter with the date with Rarity ?
because the story is pretty deep for just 2 chapters and i'm a bit curious what part Rarity plays in Spikes made up little familie ...
soo pretty please !! ooone more chapter
edit: do i sound like an addicted ???
You know, this story made me realize (once more) that while women did their whole emancipation thing, male role models are pretty much the same as they were a hundred years ago. Be a soldier, or be the breadwinner for your family.
Not that I begrudge Spike his decision, for a dragon whelp boy thingy guy he did pretty well with his imaginary dad, I just wonder how much real choices he actually had.
Also I missed Carrot Cake in the list of names, his commitment for his kids makes him a pretty decent dad, I think.
3179863
You sound pretty needy, but I totally get that. A little third chapter about Rarity rewarding Spike for his propriety would be very welcome.
3178763
My self-esteem as an editor/proofreader is falling apart at the seams! Oh well. No one's perfect, I suppose!
3179498
Oops. Guess I was being too presumptuous. I'm sure you'll figure it out regardless!
3179498 command F on macs!
3179863
It would be a whole story by itself! I don't remember off the top of my head if you've read it or not, but my story On Pin and Needles deals with the same issues, except from Rarity's perspective.
3180884
That is an excellent point... and I'm horribly upset at myself that I didn't include Carrot Cake. That's why I sent this to my fans first!
3181302
I learned something!
From Chapter 1:
I'm a little confused about whether or not these are errors or not. Does Spike have multiple hearts? Is "bashing" a typo, or just fancy archaic english? The whole sentence seems a bit confusing to me. Anyway, this story was awesome, just like all the rest of yours. Especially the part with the "Hyper-Rude Gesture of Maximum Offensiveness," that was great. I'll favorite this as soon as you officially release it.
3182623
If I remember right from some of his other stories, T.D. does envision Spike to have multiple hearts. As for the "bashing" thing, it's referring to Rarity bashing her gavel to try and calm the room. It's a bit awkward, but I didn't mark it as an error in editing because the I found the term to have a sort of pseudo double-entendre that added a bit of authenticity to the story.
In layman's terms, it sounded good to me!
3183341 Ah, cool sentence bro, thanks for the clarification.
Beautiful story!! I can’t add anything to it, it’s just perfect the way it is. Spike is the best! Thank you for this exclusive read T.D.!
3182623
Argon did a good job of explaining but, yes, I've always written Spike with two hearts, just to remind myself that he's a mythical creature. I'm glad you liked this one!
3183613
I thought I'd do something nice for my Fans!
How do you manage to write so much?
Glorious as always, my friend.
I actually thought he was gonna call Dash his 'dad', being his role model and all that. Eh, can't get every guess right.
Amazing story.
3184376
I see what you did there
You can never have too many spike fics. Excellent story dude.
Dammit Descendant! You have to let me finish your other story BEFORE you put out another one.
3185004
That's where I thought it was going too!
This was the cutest freakin' Spike story ever!
Spike, you are my hero!
Spike is very complex here. Nice job. He has so much untapped potential.
whoaaaaa..........simply.........whoa............I mean..........whoaaaaa..............AWESOME!!!
And now I have to change my headcanon. Obviously spike can substitute for Rainbow Dash as the element of Loyalty. Twilight had it right all along.
Feel good feels, Mr. D.
3175132
Absolutely!!!! That is awesome for Spike to do. In one fell swoop, he stole the show from all those bastards with balls, saved Dash from almost certain humiliation, got the eye of Rarity and Twilight, and got the eyes and admiration from an entire Filly Troop, not to mention that cute nuzzle from Scootaloo
. At that point, who cares that he essentially gave the entire room the double middle finger (or middle claw, it is Spike after all
).
Twilight, you have no right to even think about punishing Spike for that. The ends justify the means here. No punishment for me. Way to go, dude!!
And this is for chapter 2:
When I got to the pussy part, I was like 'JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE HELL!?'
Then I saw that she meant her cat, and I breathed a sigh of relief.
Right after I had stopped laughing about it.
Great story.
Huh, so Soike's mental was questionable even before Zenith. Or maybe that's just a dragon thing.
I thought he was actually shouting at himself to act in the first chapter. Nah, just at a figment of his imagination, totally different.
Another lovely little story
. Do you plan to make this a thing with every one of the Mane 6?
Hit upvote - 83 changes to 94
This is not enough upvoting. I must hit the button more.
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His eyes were literally blazing
3179498
3177928
Descy, bro, I have to agree with John here. It's a sweet story but I can't see Dash being insecure about her femininity. If ponies have a human correlation than the athletic body type for both sexes is by far the most desirable possible. If ponies are more equine in mindset then this is doubly true. Dash even boosts her own confidence during MDW by reaffirming she has an awesome body.
It could also be argued that tomboys in general are more secure in their femininity since they do not feel the need to focus on and artificially enhance it.
But like I said, forgiving the slightly off (not OOC just "off") characterization of Dash, it's a really sweet story.
This is why I love Spike. He may not be the most coolest character, but this little guy will go to hell and back for his friends. Some people hate the little guy calling him just a sidekick but he has earned the title of knight more then anyone.
Awesome story! So deep~