Cup Cake knows what the pegasus mare is doing. She can see the way the filly is swaying her flawless body around Sugar Cube Corner. She can hear the flirty tones in the perfect voice as the mare sings her siren song to Carrot...
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 2nd Nov, 2011
- offline last seen Jun 21st, 2016
The Descendant
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The Descendant
Joined 2nd Nov, 2011 ·
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Must read soon as possible...
A followup to A Sweet Taste of Cake?
That was beautiful, TD.
That.
Was.
Beautiful.
With the "romance" tag thrown around so much on this site, it's hard to find actual romance stories. This... This is what a story with the romance tag should be.
I actually feel like sharing this fic with my mom. She's a bit of a poet herself, not to mention I think she'd sympathize and relate to Cup Cake. I think she'd love it.
Although... Why hasn't Cup Cake thought of free verse?
Wow, it's been a whole year?
Delightful as usual. Love how you write family dynamics - the romance of the routine.
Awwww! This was beautiful :)
This.
This is BEAUTIFUL.
This! This is why we can have nice things after all!
I'm not ashamed to say I had to blink back some liquid pride while reading.
On the funny side: For some time I thought that the "project" was her trying to figure out a way to tell him of the next Cake in the oven.
There are no words, this was lovely
Congratulations on the anniversary of A Sweet Taste of Cake, and congratulations and thanks for having written another wonderful story.
I like the way he handled that young mare and showed his love for his wife. A very good story over all.
Awesome in the true sense of the word, not the meaning that everyone throws around these days
Marvelous
I feel like the poem could have spoken for itself and the narration in the poem should have been toned down.
Carrot is the kind of husband i aspire to be someday. Well done.
How?
How on earth do you manage to turn out such fantastic works seemingly effortlessly? You have a truly remarkable talent, good sir, one that leaves the rest of us dumbfounded with its majestic quality.
Well done.
You the stallion, Carrot
Also, this is great
If Cup cares so much about the rumors, get a DNA test done, go to Pony FedEx, blow it up to poster size and wall paper the outside of the bakery with the results, then start punching the non-believers into the wall like Seiji Sawamura. Problem Solved.
That being said, good story and you handle the whole 40 something year old married couple thing very well. It's nice to see Carrot still be a bad ass, but there should have been this scene:
Young mare: "I have daddy issues, please drive your Wonka boat into my scary tunnel."
Carrot leans down and shows off his back confusing the pegasus: "Wanna know how I got these scars? My future father-in-law beat me to within spitting distance of death with a whip. I just met you and I can safely say I wouldn't do the same for you, so here's some free cookies and get your ass the f*** out of my store."
D'aaaaaaaaw! That's just so adorable!
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw730_small.jpg
Loved it, and i really loved how you portrayed Carrot's personality, it stayed so true to his character, it's a shame they don't show more of Mr and Mrs cake in the cartoon. they are such a perfect couple.
And this is why the Cakes are the most underrated characters in the fandom. They really need their own episode.
Small error here.
Though should be thought.
There's really no praise that I can give that hasn't been given many times before, so I'll just settle with saying that you have, once again and to the surprise of none, outdone yourself.
This is beautiful and cute and wonderful, and it deserves every moment that it spends in the feature box.
A teen story tagged with the sex tag? And by the pen of The Descendant himself? What a peculiar combination...
Well, I will have to give this one the highest priority on my read-later list.
Lets see
Beginning- really happy
Middle- getting really appy
End: Heart warmed to the point of tears.
Yep, I felt good about this. Then again...it is a sequel to my favorite romance fic.
Dude, TD, I—wow, man.
You don't know how fortuitous and affirming it is to me, personally, that you wrote this. My wife and I have been having some troubles lately, and through good friends in our church and some counseling, we've come back to a place that this story reminds me of. It's the feeling of being that real man, of defending your wife's and your family's honor with your life. I feel it deeply, intimately, and totally. So few writers—so very few indeed!—actually get love. You get it. I like to think that I get it. But this story sums it up beautifully. It's more than just a commitment, it's an abiding state of being that makes the idea of another partner unthinkable.
So, call it encouragement, then. This story is an almost perfect example of where I want to be in ten, fifteen years' time.
Thank you for writing it.
Thank you for letting me enjoy it.
PS, you got bit by the poetry bug pretty hard, dincha? Loving A&R&TPP also, btw.
Once again, Descy... Once again you hit me in the feels.
You have a great gift for painting the scenes without dipping too far into purple prose.
Carrot is the definition of a true gentlepony in this one... And, as that notch in his ear proclaims, he's more than willing to walk into the gates of hell for his Honey Bun, but ONLY her.
That nameless pegasus filly never had a chance.
Oh, wow. That was amazing. I love the Cakes and was about to go looking for some fics featuring them, when BAM I see this on the featured box and naturally, I have to read it. I loved it, and I am going to check out the story this is celebrating.
Once read a fic where Carrot was a complete asshole, glad to see another view on him.
2722256
Why would anyone write him as an asshole? He's only been in a few episodes, but in them he's nice and polite to a fault.
2722296
It was this HiE where the the human was in a relationship with Pinkie. The plot was how he ended up comforting Cup Cake after Carrot did it with Celestia, somehow Celly didn't didn't know he was married.
As for him being an ass, he was forced into the marriage after it got found out he was doing it with Cupcake so while he was polite, he didn't truly love her. There was affection at one point but nothing like this.
Why? Because that was part of the plot. Kinda like how the made trollestia even though she doesn't show that kinda behavior to that level.
Wow, just Wow.
This is wonderful and a great follow up to a great story.
I mean this in ths most unisultingly way possible, but you
BASTARD!!!!!
From the first meniton of the rumours about the kids, and Cup Cake's reaction, I thought that's where we were going!! And that blody pegasus mare......
Yes, Celestia, I understand! No, I'll leave them behind! I'm only going to take tranqulizer rounds!
No, I'm just going to talk to her, and then down to Ponyville to sort out the rest of them!
By the way, this was almost my reaction to the poem
3.bp.blogspot.com/-qi0ERhh4hQ8/T5Sc5GxjPiI/AAAAAAAAATI/jizhm6mDv1w/s640/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-manly-tears.jpg
but I read this wth my parents in the room!!!! Yet another brilliant story from an awesome author!!!!
This was one of the most beautiful and touching stories I've read.
Thank you.
Very good. Very good indeed. I confess I have yet to read A Sweet Taste of Cake (mostly because I'm reading the stories on my To Read list in reverse word count order, and I wanted to have something of yours to look forward to.), but this didn't impact my enjoyment at all, other than not getting one or two references, like "A Game of This"
For a moment, I thought it had something to do with A Game of Thrones, but then I remembered that your stuff and George R R Martin's stuff have rather little in common. For instance, I enjoy reading your stuff.
I believe the common utterance at this point is BA-ZING!
Anyway, an excellent exploration of what many would consider a cliched feeling and situation not worth lingering on (I think they would be wrong, but hey). I want to say that it goes on a bit too long at points, and it does kind of drag in places... but in a good way. A way that you can feel the moment being dragged out by the happiness of the characters.
I admit, when I saw there would be a poem, I was trepidatious, as I'm extremely picky about meter and rhyme-schemes, but it quickly became clear that it wasn't supposed to be a technically brilliant poem. As you pointed out, the structure isn't much to write home about, and the imagery, while a skillful use of extended metaphor, wasn't especially brilliant either. However, what it did come across as was heartfelt - this was not some brilliant wordsmith composing an ode, it was a middle-aged baker trying to capture her feelings in verse. And, in that respect, it worked very well.
The one thing I will suggest you do is put some sort of partition around the brief section with Gummy. While I genuinely laughed out loud at that (I don't care how serious or emotional a story about the Cakes is - if you live in the same house as Pinkie Pie, you're gonna have a bit of comedy happen), it is a bit confusing to go straight from the Cakes' pre-copulatory anticipation to him poking his head out of a tub. For a moment, I thought he was in the same room as them. That would have been awkward, I think.
And now I'm imagining them trying to do their thing while Gummy stares at them blankly. Why do you hate me, brain?
This was so sweet!
Almost.... too sweet. Things got a bit too saccharine there in the middle before they went upstairs. I get that they're in "wuv, twoo wuv" but it got really thick for a bit, to the point where it took me out of the scene. Not even the mood, just the constant back and forth:
"I love you!"
"I love you!"
"I love you!"
"I love you!"
I understand you're trying to get across that their love makes them feel like teenagers again, but this doesn't read like lovestruck teenagers, more like angsty tweens. Next time, we'll get a scene of them on the phone: "You hang up first." "No, you hang up first!"
Also, bro, do you even scene break? Put "hr" in between some [], to get this:
Or, some dashes, asterisks, something! With out them, the whole thing is kinda jarring, jumping from smexy poni tiems, to alligator world domination to flying pegasus colts.
Overall, a whole lot of effort for a simple premise, but that's your bag, isn't it? Taking the simple and making it grand and artistic. It was very well done, if not a tad over-the-top at times, but never too out there. I'll give this a fave.
I've been staring at this comment box for a while but I still have no idea what to say. I just... Whoa.
Carrot is a freaking hero.
Short, touching, and heartfelt, as good stories should be. You should be commended for such honest and uplifting work.
There are no words. Only mustaches. Take them all and it will not be enough.
Jeez, somebody went a little downvote-happy in the comment section
The only problem I really had was Cup Cake saying 'don'tcha know". I couldn't read this without imagining her with an Irish/Scottish(?) accent, or as a cow. You know, like the one in A Friend in Deed.
Great story regardless! I still need to read A Sweet Taste of Cake.
2722346
Doesn't sound like a great story.
I hate saccharine stories.
I don't like stories that keep changing their narrative focus.
I also hate poetry.
But I love this. I love this so freaking much. It is small, and genuine, and very, very warm. It is a precious little lovely story, and maybe just what I needed right now. I'd love to say more, but I can't really. Just know that this story contains everything I avoid in a fic and it still kicks ass.
There are a few things that irked me. The part with them climbing the stairs took a little too long (I found myself skimming quite a bit of it, although the bit about the stair groaning was great), and I felt there was also quite a bit of unnecessary repetition in a few others parts, such as Cup Cake being nervous about the temptress (which worked well pacing wise, but could have been more diverse), and when she was writing her poem (I am pretty sure you said she was done twice). Still, I don't think that removing some of that would really improve the fic.
2723151
Frankly, for a HiE clopfic it was pretty good. The writing itself was solid and the characters were done well. The main problem though was that it just had too much unfaithfulness going on.
You had the human being worried about how Pinkie would react to him forming a relationship in one chapter and then you got him banging several other mares and adding them to his herd before even talking to Pinkie in the later chapters.
*Reads description*
Twaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
Made me cry.
Take a star and a like.
Not bad. Not bad at all.
Timing bro. I've always felt like I've been the odd man out due to my views on relationships. It's nice to see honor and monogamy treated as a given rather than an exception. Of course, "timing" wouldn't really be applicable there, given i've been with my wife for a decade now.
However, seeing as we're creeping up on fathers days and I just found out I'm about to be one (first child) you pretty much levelled me with a tactical feels nuke. Great work as always TD. Keep on with yo bad self.
Poetry's not my thing, but I do enjoy stories about the Cakes.
Cup's the only pony that can light Carrot's stovetop, just like he's the only pony that can preheat her oven.
My oh my. This made me watery for a second. I'm quite pleased and contented with your story. Please, do keep it up, as you MUST earn your right on my watch list ;)
P.S. I was half hoping Cup Cakes revealed she cheated on her husband
Personally, I'd have thrown the floozy out so fast it would have made her wings hurt.
Excellent story, get the fave, the like, all of it.
how could i not fave this Descendant , i was at a lost for words so i didn't leave a comment before, but, i still don't have much to say
the way you handled the conflict, the feelings portrayed from Cup, the execution, and my god that poem i almost cried reading the poem, that took me by surprise, it would have been the first time i cried reading poetry
not all epic stories needs the world saving, the dark adventures, or the breath taking of a revolution, i only have read about two of your stories (but no education for a couple of months so i will devour your stories
), but what i love is the way you capture the struggle of the problems in the most human/pony way possible, i became a fan when i read "the talk" once more you reminded me of why i loved your style so much 
P.S. you are awesome