With great power...

by Charade

With great power...

~~~~~~~~

To my faithful student Twilight Sparkle,

You know that you are my most trusted pupil, and that I would never lie to you. Please believe that this is the truth. Still, I have not been completely honest with you, and about the real responsibility you took on when you became the element of magic. I have with held part of the truth because I wasn't sure you and your friends were ready to know. I regret waiting so long to tell you, but now I can wait no longer, you and the other five MUST come and see me right away.

~ Princess Celestia

~~~~~~~~

**--------------------**

Yesterday

The moon shone brightly overhead as the magnificent ruler over Equestria stepped out the door to the balcony.

"Sister, What art thou I mean- what are you doing up so early? Dawn is not meant to come for a few hours." Luna said puzzled. Normally at this time the sun princess was out like a rock. Something must have really been bothering her.

"Luna... I've been thinking. The elements of harmony, I think we should tell them the truth." Celestia looked to to be in deep thought, it was so weird seeing her big sister this unsure about something.

"Art thou certain they are ready to hear such news?" Asked Luna, realizing afterwords that she had done the whole 'thou and thee' thing again.

The radiant, white alicorn took a deep breath. "Honestly no. I had wanted to wait just one more year but..." She shook her head "...they all must be noticing by now, and Twilight is a very smart mare. If we don't tell them now it wont be long before they figure it out on their own."

**--------------------**

4 years ago

"Yeeeee-Haaaaw!" Applejack's exclamation of joy filled the air. SPLASH!

A second "Yeee-Haaw!" Belonging to Applebloom soon echoed it. SLASH!! Well how do ya like them apples? I made a much bigger splash than you!" The younger filly boasted.

"Pfft, dream on! little filly." retorted Applejack.

"I can't believe you're pulling as much as Big Macintosh! You're getting really strong, sis!"

Applejack suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable. She let herself sink a few feet deeper into the water. "Oh well, sugar-cube it only seems that way cuz' Big Mac just isn't as young as he used to be." She bit back the urge to add 'And for that matter, neither are you'. Her cream colored sister was almost as big as her, yet applejack hadn't grown an inch.

*is something wrong with me?*

**--------------------**

2 year ago

Fluttershy sniffed and stifled a flood of tears. The softhearted mare could hardly believe this was happening to her yet again. It seem so recently that she had held Angle bunny's daughter in her hooves for the fist time! Yet now here she was, standing over her make shift grave on the edge of the Everfree Forest.

The entire course of the small bunny's life had played out along side Fluttershy's...So why did seem as though it had gone by so quickly?

**--------------------**

3 months ago

A rainbow blur streaked across the sky, abruptly making a ninety degree turn west before stopping directly in front of a white pegasus stallion. "Soarin, you slow poke! Have you been slacking?"

Soarin chuckled softly, "No Rainbow, I think I'm just past my prime." He sat down on a small cloud.

"Impossible, you were the best flyer the wonderbolts had, well that is until I joined." scoffed Rainbow dash.

"I was going to wait a little longer, but I've decided that tomorrow I'm going to announce my retirement."

Rainbow dash opened her mouth to protest but Soarin spoke again. "I'm getting old, Dashie. I just can't fly like I used to."

"You CAN'T be getting old, its only been...um..."

"Dashie, its been over six years since you joined the wonderbolts."

No, that was impossible! Had it really been that long?

**--------------------**

about an hour ago

It was a typical day for Twilight as she used her magic to flip though 3 different books at the same time. She paused for a moment to look up at a boiling beaker of blue liquid before scribing something down on a scrap piece of parchment.

"Whatcha doing there, Twi?" Ask a now adolescent Spike. The young, purple dragon was a lot taller nowadays with well defined teeth and claws.

"Hm?" The study obsessed pony was to engrossed in her research to fully register the question.

"Um Twi? Hello?"

"Hmm?...Oh, sorry Spike. I was just studying the magical properties of the poison joke. Its really quite remarkable! You see the way it works is-"

Spike cut her off with a loud belch of green fire. A scroll bound with a red ribbon materialized with a flash of light from the green haze and promptly feel to the floor.

"A letter from the Princess?" Twilight mused as she used her magic to pick it up.

**--------------------**

In the personal bedroom of their princess, the six elements stood in a semi circle around the sun goddess. All of them waiting patiently, with the exception of Twilight who was pacing back and forth nervously.

Celestia took a deep breath. "My little ponies, as I'm sure you're all aware, tonight marks the tenth year since you became the embodiments of the elements of harmony. This gave you the power to defeat Nightmare Moon and even the god of chaos, Discord. What I've never told you is that it also gave you something more. You six are the only non-alicorn ponies to unlock the full power of the elements of harmony, you did this when you defeated Discord...You had to otherwise it would not have been enough power to seal him away again."

Yeah? So what? We kicked a god's butt!!" Interrupted the brash rainbow pony, whom immediately received a 'shut up' glare from Twilight.

She pause for a moment, as if still putting the next words together in her head. "Because you each embody your respective elements so well, you were able whiled every bit of power they had..."

Twilight stepped forward, Unsure what to think. "But Princess, what does this mean for us now?"

Celestia met her pupil's eye and closed her own. "The Elements of Harmony were originally created by an alicorn who sacrificed his life to give us the ultimate weapon against evil. Each piece of the elements of harmony contains one sixth of his life force...W-When you defeated discord you took on that full life force...."

Twilight's eyes widened as she was the first to understand, her jaw hung open

Celestia bit her bottom lip and finished with: "...to put it simply, you are all going to be alive...for centuries. If I had to guess, I'd say you all probably haven't even aged one full year since you beat Discord."

Everypony nodded in understanding, it all made sense now. Everything around them, every pony around them, had been changing, growing. Meanwhile they stayed the same. Never changing, never growing older, or stronger, or weaker...stuck in a slow moving current of time."

"Uh so Twi...one sixth the life span on an anicorn, how'n the hay long is that?" asked Applejack.

Twilight, The only one of the six well read enough to even guess at the number shook her head. "A-Apple jack...If this is true, you're going to live long enough to see AppleBloom's grand children die."

"Well this is good, right!? I mean this means I'll get to be a wonder bolt for like...over a hundred years!" Exclaimed the cyan element of loyalty.

"I agree, dashie! Sure it will be sad to see all our other friends go..." The pink pony's voice drifted, nearly losing its happy charm for a moment, only to cheer right back up when she said "..but we'll have each other, and now we can be best friends-" *Giggle* "-FOR-EV-OR!"

Twilight looked up at Celestia, eyes wide with surprise and awe. "Princess, is this true?"

"...Yes Twilight, Every thing I have told you is the truth, You will likely all live even longer than spike..." She started to cry a little. "Twilight, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to put this much responsibility on on you or your friends, and I feel terrible for having kept this information from you... I just hoped that..maybe I was wrong..." She sniffed and wipe away her tears. "Its going to be hard, Twilight, watching every one of your friends and family die and grow old, while you stay young and healthy year after year..." Celestia was clearly remembering her own childhood, her own life. "But you have to press on, no matter how hard it gets, because with great power, comes even greater sacrifice."

Comments

[RamboPilot]

That's a sad one, typical 'immortality is a curse, not a blessing'.

[EbonQuillTheScribe]

919842 "Immortality is a gift, but not one without its consequences."- Cassandra Clare 'Clockwork Prince'
Immortality is a hard thing to live with, it makes you understand through the eyes of centuries how fragile life really is.

This is sad and somehow i saw this coming from the first bit of the story. somehow ur a little too predictable but it was over all a touching tale

[Diamond Sparkle]

Sad but well written.

[Y1]

Well that was reasonably interesting, though I don't think it took full advantage of the concept. Basically it could have been sadder. I liked it well enough but it seemed like it could have been much greater. Though I do love that cover art. Where did it come from?
I just feel that someone could take this concept and blow minds with it. I suppose "duties" did something a little similar with AJ's chapter but I want to see this idea of out living what you love taken to the absolute end of it's potential.

[Ecthelion_Yuda]

It could have been longer, but it doesn't need to be. Very well written, have a like and a favourite

[Ebonysdagger]

Never have understood the whole 'immortality is sad' thing myself but I do kind of like the concept. Instead of them all becoming alicorns they are just ageless which works for me. Outliving Spike is the only real shocking concept I found in the whole thing really.

[EchoWolf31]

I liked it, although you can do so much more with the idea. But it's still good.

[Sliverfish]

images.wikia.com/potcoplayers/images/4/47/Meme_-_Clapping.gif

[MrJHutson96]

Fave'd I shall wait on your updates like an eager colt.

[mbpony 512]

Woah, still I would have loved to see Rarity;s and Pinkie's reactions to learning the truth.

[Livi-Love]

This is a very interesting concept that would have been nice to see expanded. I would have liked to see Rarity's reaction but overall I really liked this. There are some grammar mistakes though.

[dartmaul15]

funny idea
give us a followup story where everyone they love are dead

seriously, this was a great oneshot. it was a bit short, and it had a lot of unused potential, but still very good
thumbs up and a star

[Charade]

919907
I was somewhat afraid of that.

920680
Thats my first clap gif reaction! Thanks!

920289
Thanks, and the image is by Equestria-Prevails on Deviant art.

[Fareseed]

920289

It did. I am still not done reading Duties. Immortality is a blessing and a curse. It have a great price.

But immortality is not the same as invincibility or invulnerbul. They may not be able to die by age, but they maybe can die by something else.

[Y1]

920917
Actually I seem to recall someone saying in duties that it was outright impossible for an alicorn to die. Something about Luna being completely destroyed and still being fine after about a thousand years.

[Charade]

I had meant to imply that they are all going to live for a 'very very long time' not 'forever' there really is no canonical estimate for exactly how long an alicorn lives except that its well over 1,000 years, exactly how long it IS (and therefore how long 1/6 of that is) is open to speculation.

But as the readers you are welcome to take the story anyway you please, however long you think it is.

[Fareseed]

920932
The other part of my comment was not related to the story. That is how I see it and why I seperated it from the first part of the comment. I know that they culd not be totaly obliterated from excistens, only extreamly weekened to the point of a extream long time recovery period. They can not simply stop excisting in that story. They was bound to the world as Celestia and Luna was bound to the celestial bodies in the sky. But I for myself sees immortality, invulnerbility and invincibility as different things.

[Fareseed]

920947
I call that semi-immortal.

[Y1]

921007
Ok fair enough, on that point I agree with you. Those are three different things.

[Fareseed]

921065
So differend, yet so easy to mix into one.

[shutaro]

The idea is not that new, but still, nicely done.

> it all made since now.
sense

> come even greater sacrifice.
either "come even greater sacrifices." or "comes even greater sacrifice."

[Charade]

921126

Thank you, fixed.

[Hyper-Insomniac]

Dammit I've read way too much sad shit today.....NEED HAPPY!!!

good job btw.

[Deleth]

Very good. Marked as incomplete so I think I'll keep an eye on this, love the concept.

[Charade]

921203

lol, its bitter sweet. They still have each other.

[Deleth]

Oh never mind It is marked as complete lol. Mind if I use this idea in an upcoming story I'm going to write?

[i_am_the_jam]

Odd, I thought Applejack was fully grown already.

[Carmine]

There's just... too many errors and awkward sentences in this to read it. Flush out your scenes more, make sure you use proper punctuation, and maybe this fic will be better. As such, though, I am giving it a downvote.

Good day.

[PatRoison]

Though short, this is a nice bittersweet story. I thought it was fitting that Twilight told Applejack that she would live long enough to see her baby sister's grandfoals die. That really made the long life feel less like a blessing since family is so important to Applejack, I imagine that she's not looking forward to having to bury her baby sister or her brother.

[SixTales]

Why didn't you add Rarity and Pinkie Pie

But overall you did amazing It's great that people

are coming up with emotional stories keep it up

Fave

[Charade]

921302
Sure go for it!

921358
I've been told that the way I do dialog is technically wrong by like 'English teacher' standerds but I use the same rules I remember learning form school.

[Dashed_Brony]

While I enjoyed reading this, I have a few pointers.

What I found nice about this fanfic
- It was interesting. We actually go to see their perspective over time.
- The story in itself is decently written
- The characters seem to have gotten the right personality traits, compared to the actual character they are supposed to be.
- It was depressing enough to actually stirr some emotions.

The downsides...
- We didn't get to see everyone's view of how it has changed. Rarity and Pinkie pie have both been left out. While it might be harder to point them out, Rarity literally didn't have one say in the story(She may not be my favourite, but she deserves a spot, just like the rest)
- It was too short. Far too short. I didn't even feel like 'The ending' was a true ending.
- While I usually leave grammar alone, I found multiple typos in this. Some seeming to be done more on purpose than others. A well-read fanfic, despite not only relying on grammar, usually has it all fixed. My tip for that is read through your fanfic at least once before you finally decide to release it.
- As mentioned, it was sad. Sadly, not quite depressing enough. It lacked any direct say from the others, or their feelings on it. Rainbow Dash seemed happy about it, so did Pinkie Pie. Would be nice to see them suddenly regret that thought...

Overall, I'll give it a 6/10.
While not original, it still has its own peculiar touch, and that makes it unique like so many other fanfics. They have their author's signature, one way or another. Nobody ever seems to write entirely alike.
It did, as mentioned, have its sadness trait, so that's a bonus.
It has potential, bonus points.
The potentials weren't fully used, minus point.

That's my full review on it. Don't take my critisism for hate, I enjoyed it full-out, like I usually do when I first sit down and read something. The list of good/bad is basically a keep/remove list.

Edit: While it does not fall entirely in my taste, I give this a like because you A. Have potential and B. Despite not entirely, the parts I did enjoy deserves a like.

[FALG]

I agree with "dashed_brony", the story was well written, but lacks some points.

Still it was a nice story, and (besides) I'm definitely sure some other people will write their stories based on this one, you can be sure of that.

PS: There are some points in orthography you missed, like when you say Fluttershy's name for the first time, it's written "Fluttery". And when Twilight was surprised at the news Celestia gave them, it says "he jaw hung open. Other than that, just lacking capitalizing names, but that's it.

[Charade]

931694
Thank you, typo's fixed

923788
Thank you for your feedback, after all I'd like to get better. I feel like i'm juuuuust teetering on the edge of something really great I just need to get better! I had a Rarity chapter in mind but I felt it was too much like Rainbow dash's story. Over all I guess I should have taken more time. Still! I did learn a lot from writing this! Its my most popular story so far so I know I got some stuff right that I didn't before. XD

[enamis]

it was meh. have a like.

[FALG]

933216

No prob, and sorry if it sounded harsh somehow.

[Rakaziel]

Again a very cool idea, and with a well thought out background.