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Why Didn't Ah Stay at Th' Farm? by FanNotANerd Report

66,621 ( 81,497 )

A...minor accident at Sweet Apple Acres sends Big Macintosh to Ponyville in the middle of applebuck season. At first, things seem fine. But then some of the mares begin acting a little...oddly.

Then very oddly. Turns out every other stallion skipped town for a very good reason.

Special thanks to Bronius Maximus for the preread. And, of course, there's DoctorBrony's live reading.
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Comments ( 324 )

#1 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 7 hours ago  
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:rainbowlaugh:

That about sums it up.
#2 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 7 hours ago  
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>>48446
Eeeeyup.
#3 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 7 hours ago  
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>>48446

And I meant that in a good way.  I really enjoyed the story, although I had to try and keep myself from laughing too much.
#4 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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Best. Fic. Ever.
Ricochet (guest)
#5 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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As much as I seriously hate the idea that these ponies go into heat... this was amusing. :pinkiesmile:
#6 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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DAMN! :eeyup: is a P.I.M.P BEEYYUUTTCCHHH!!!
#7 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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>>48470 I second the motion. Even if a pimp should not spend most of his time fleeing sex.
#8 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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lol
#9 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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Big Mac = king of swag. All that he needs now is a large hat, a floor length coat and a pimp cane. and maybe some running shoes.
#10 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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lol this is great:rainbowlaugh:
#11 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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:flutterrage: HE'S MINE BRATS!
:twilightangry2:NO, OBVIOUSLY, HE LIKES INTELLECTUALS!
:raritystarry:NO, HE LIKES UPPER-CLASS LADIES!
:pinkiecrazy:Kikiki...MINE!!!
:rainbowlaugh:HAHAHA!
:eeyup: My God....
#12 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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:flutterrage: HE'S MINE BRATS!
:twilightangry2:NO, OBVIOUSLY, HE LIKES INTELLECTUALS!
:raritystarry:NO, HE LIKES UPPER-CLASS LADIES!
:pinkiecrazy::Kikiki...MINE!!!
:rainbowlaugh:HAHAHA!
:derpytongue2:MURRY ME!!
:eeyup: My God....
:trollestia: Problem?

NOW 20% WORSE FOR BIG MAC!!!!!!
#13 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 6 hours ago  
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omg.....AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
laughing at the end loooooooooooooooolz
TTP (guest)
#14 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 5 hours ago  
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:rainbowderp::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::trollestia:Nuff said
#15 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 5 hours ago  
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The hell man, first a beautifully written sadfic, and now a beautifully written comedy?  You sir are a pony of many talents.  Hopefully the next will be a shipfic!  Or a Grimdark....  :pinkiesick:  Anyway great work!  Best wishes.
#16 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 5 hours ago  
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i like it when people roleplay in comment pages

They make me look like an absolute not-a-faggot


btw this shit is cooooooool and shit.
#17 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 5 hours ago  
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>>48551How about a clopfic? :twilightsheepish:
Vallorn (guest)
#18 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 5 hours ago  
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this fic made me 20% more jovial. good show old chap.:moustache:
Anonbrony (guest)
#19 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 5 hours ago  
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Only one way out Big Mac.
#20 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 5 hours ago  
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AJ is messed up.. She was TRYING to get him set up! She's sick!
#21 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 5 hours ago  
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>>48565  If it is sappy and romantic I am fine with it.  :eeyup:
random name here (guest)
#22 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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this sums up pretty much every fanfic involving big mac i've read
#23 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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That, my friend, was bloody excellent. It was very well written and, quite frankly the idea of every single female going crazy for one male always appealed   to my twisted sense of humor.
#24 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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Bwuahahaha X-D
#25 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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And then Celestia walked in.
#26 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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>>48585:pinkiegasp:I thought that that might have been the case too!
#27 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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>>48585:pinkiegasp:I thought that that might have been the case too!
That guy from that thing (guest)
#28 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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If I where big mac I'd be diving into that crowd.:raritywink:
#29 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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At first I thought, ":rainbowhuh:, Rainbow Dash, aren't you supposed to be LOYAL to your friends and not betray them to a bunch of sex-crazed mares?"  Then I realized that those "sex-crazed mares" were Rainbow Dash's friends too, that she was closer to them than to Big Macintosh, and that therefore, she owed more loyalty to them.:moustache::trollestia:
:eeyup: :eeyup:, you should have just stuck with Fluttershy.  Now there is really only one thing left to say.  "Death by SNU-SNU!":trollestia::rainbowdetermined2::rainbowwild::pinkiecrazy::facehoof::twistnerd:
#30 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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Oh, and this was Awsome!  Please keep the :rainbowlaugh: coming!
#31 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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Big Mac's face when he opens the door at the end:
Herpedy derp (guest)
#32 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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>>48646
Nice futurama ref, I was thinking that too :rainbowlaugh:
#33 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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Funny, and fun!
#34 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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well fu-
I guess he' scr-

damnit, i can't find the words without making a pun about his situation
v (guest)
#35 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 4 hours ago  
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Big Mac: aw shit...
Thatoneguy (guest)
#36 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 3 hours ago  
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That was amazingly amazing.

Just let it happen, Big Mac. Just let it happen.
#37 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 3 hours ago  
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So much win!!
MC
#38 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 3 hours ago  
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WHOOOO!!!!
Poor :eeyup:, screwed either way.... Wait.
(pun not intended)
#39 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 3 hours ago  
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When It got to when Rainbow Dash opened the door, I actually said,"Oh shit." That was seriously a great ending.
#40 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 3 hours ago  
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...at least it was Lunaughty....it could be worse, it could be Molestia?!:trollestia:
#41 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 3 hours ago  
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:derpyderp2:

...

:ajsmug:

...

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
Woot (guest)
#42 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 2 hours ago  
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I love Rainbow Dash's part in this, just perfect. :rainbowkiss:
#43 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 2 hours ago  
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...good thing big Mac had his benches veil o wait he didn't I told him to buy one but no he had to get 4 pairs of boots why mac WHYYYY...:eeyup:
DreamerofDragons (guest)
#44 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 2 hours ago  
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Oh No!  poor Mac!  ... what happens next?  
#45 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 1 hour ago  
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Grand Master Pimp Macintosh :eeyup:
DS
#46 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 1 hour ago  
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Me at the end
nyeh (guest)
#47 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 1 hour ago  
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I don't think we recognize just how fuckin' alpha big mac is.....
#48 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 1 hour ago  
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>>48513 Eeyup:eeyup:
>>48782 I second that motion!:pinkiehappy:
#49 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 1 hour ago  
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Sounds like:eeyup:forgot to take his swag off.
#50 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 1 hour ago  
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Oh wow, this is hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:
I can't wait for the next chapter.
Anonymous (guest)
#51 Chapter 1  Posted 24 weeks, 34 minutes ago  
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This...this made me laugh so hard. Excellent. Just wondrous. You need to write more comedies. =D
#52 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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>>48551  In a way this is a shipfic.  Probably not what most people mean, but technically its Bigmac and Everypony.
#53 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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This shit hilarious


#54 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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This was hilarious xD Poor lucky Big Mac
Mario (guest)
#55 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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:rainbowlaugh:
That is all.
#56 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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The moment :eeyup: said "Oh, no." I said that. Out loud. Everyone looked at me. Now I am the crazy man with the long hair. :ajbemused:


Great story, it was very, very funny!

You sir, are great.
Fox
#57 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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I can only imagine what Fluttershy will be thinking when she looks back on that day.. Also, did Applejack just send her brother out to be gang-banged?

I await the direct sequel quite eagerly.

#58 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Send this to EqD. Now. They need to see this work of genius.
#59 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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embrace you destiny, :eeyup: , the gals of ponyville need you!
#60 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Is it weird that the comments are even funnier than the story.:derpytongue2:
#61 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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>>48513
LMAO!
#62 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Very well made story on a simple concept. It is scary that the situation is so similar to a zombie movie...
#63 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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rainbow dash doesn't go crazy because she just stares at the mares that are felling heat. i see what you did there
#64 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Poor :eeyup:
Fantaray (guest)
#65 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Mac is now Gary Oak. Swag.
#66 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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This fic is just an...
EPIC WIN!!!!!!
#67 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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>>49102

Yes.  Do this.  Now.
Mr. Unsmiley (guest)
#68 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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For the love of GOD, please update soon! This story is hilarious so far, and there aren't nearly enough harem-fics out there!

On another note, how come this hasn't made it to Equestria Daily yet? I never would have found out about this story if it weren't for the banner at the top of the site.
#69 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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That was...Interesting. 5/5 O_O
#70 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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I know why he is runing away from the horny mares.
:eeyup: :heart: :moustache:



I'm sorry. that was a bad Joke, but come on someone had to tell it, I could not stand that no one made that Joke.
#71 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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I know why he is runing away from the horny mares.
:eeyup: :heart: :moustache:



I'm sorry. that was a bad Joke, but come on someone had to tell it, I could not stand that no one made that Joke.
#72 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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I know why he is runing away from the horny mares.
:eeyup: :heart: :moustache:



I'm sorry. that was a bad Joke, but come on someone had to tell it, I could not stand that no one made that Joke.
Ice
#73 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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I was kinda hoping for a chapter 2 but I saw it said completed shame it's really funny
#74 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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My brony, you've successfully turned what would normally lead to a badly written clopfic into a work of comedy I cannot fault, I salute you XD
#75 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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It is official. Big Macintosh is now the royal sex slave :eeyup::trollestia:

>>48565 Yes. clopfic needed. I must know what happens to big mac in his new role as sex slave :pinkiehappy:
#76 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Nicely done sir.:moustache:
#77 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Trolldash? Wonderful. That was great.:rainbowlaugh:
#78 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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#79 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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HAHA XD OMG that was brilliant ^_^
Reminds me of so many monty python skits.. @_@
Ice
#80 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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>>49089 I thought it was just chance until I saw your comment now I'm worried
#81 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Please, dont stop this story, i absolutely love it, especially the "Maaaaacintosh" line:twilightsheepish::eeyup:  
#82 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Echoing the above: if you haven't submitted this to EqD, do so! It's a wonderful one-shot, easily above-par the standard submission quality. It deserves some exposure.
#83 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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>>48825 <---that's what I think.
Derp (guest)
#84 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Boss
:derpytongue2:
Lacio (guest)
#85 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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LOL! dat ending!

well done! really entertaining and fun to read. :)
RD sure is a bitch in this one. xD
#86 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Wow, Et tu Rainbow?

Story is hilarious. If there is another chapter I can't wait, if there ain't then it was a great story. There's only one way to end it now. and that's with a

eeyup:eeyup:
#87 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Well at least it could be worse.
Trying Not To Pun (guest)
#88 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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This is twisted,
Seems like Applejack wanted him out of the house for a bit...
Friggin brilliant good sir.
#89 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Vegeta! What's the counter say about the view count?

It's OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND!!!

Now that that's done with, I'm still in shock that this is so popular. Thanks a lot, everyone.
#90 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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I laughed so hard at the "I'll do anything" "Anything" "yes anything" part sooooooooo good:eeyup: also why no Luna emoticon:rainbowhuh:
#91 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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cool story !!! it was funny :rainbowlaugh: but it taked me like an half hour to read it because i am from chile and im not good  understanding phrases like :“Besides, Fluttershy’s been eyin’ you. Might be worth goin’ after.” but the story its completely awesome!!!
Huh? (guest)
#92 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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At first I was like: :rainbowhuh:
Then I was like: :twilightoops:
But then I was all: :rainbowlaugh:
Then finally I was like: :derpytongue2:
Somepony (guest)
#93 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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hahaha will there be a part 2? :eeyup:
Foxbadger (guest)
#94 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Lol, if I was the only man in a country full of horny women... Honestly, Big Mac has GOT to be gay.
#95 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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:eeyup: is going to be a lucky stallion. but yea, he should stayed with Fluttershy:fluttercry:
#96 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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I would have laughed my ass off all the way through, but then you had Rainbow being "into" Applejack. Blegh. That killed the entire rush I had.:ajbemused:

I started laughing again soon after, though.

Luna has a thousand years to catch up on? o3o Oh shit... Mac's got his work cut out for him. :rainbowlaugh:
#97 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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"Yes! he thought back. Anything!"

Oh, Big Mac, you should've seen that coming! That was my hardest lol in the story. Funny concept of a story you made, simplistic yet entertaining, well done.
#98 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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:coolphoto:
#99 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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*WILD APPLAUSE*

A very funny fic!
Joe (guest)
#100 Chapter 1  Posted 23 weeks, 6 days ago  
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Hey, who knows? Maybe, with all of these good reviews, maybe that wish will come true. By the way, awesome story.

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