Just so you guys know, this chapter was never intended to be written. It's a product of the massive demand for a continuation. So, here you go. Go nuts.
Big Macintosh struggled wildly against the chains of magic binding him as the moon princess crept closer, a horrific grin plastered on her face. “Can’t we talk this over?” he pled. “Maybe have dinner first, a walk under the stars…at least pretend you ain’t gonna just…you know!”
“Oh, Macintosh,” Luna sighed. “You have no idea what it’s been like. To bear the cold of the moon for so long, without the warmth of another to share…the warmth of another stallion…”
The stallion jerked his head back involuntarily as the alicorn stroked his cheek with a tendril of magic. “Sshhh…” she whispered, winding the magic around his muzzle. “You talk too much.”
“Mmph!” Macintosh mumbled, shaking his head. Wake up, Mac. Wake up…
Luna closed the distance between them and dragged her tongue up the side of his neck. Macintosh flinched away, shivering. Despite his terror, he actually found himself getting a bit aroused by all this…
The moon princess licked the side of his neck again, and started planting small kisses on his jawline, moving closer and closer to his mouth. The red stallion beat her to the punch and turned his head to the side, kissing her square on the mouth.
Luna visibly shuddered at the contact, wrapping her forelegs around his shoulders and moaning into his mouth. She quickly released the tendril of magic holding his mouth closed and forced her tongue past his teeth, dueling with his own.
Rational thought lost to a sea of hormones, Macintosh tore himself away from her lips and began trailing kisses down her long, elegant neck. The midnight blue alicorn moaned again at his touch, and began pushing him toward the far end of her chambers, where her four-poster bed beckoned…
Both jumped as the door to Luna’s chambers slammed open. The moon princess immediately leapt away from the stallion, glaring at the intruder. “I said no visitors!” she snarled.
Macintosh shook his head, where normal thought processes were finally overpowering animal instincts. What the hay was I about to do?
Luna’s snarl cracked on her face as the intruder stepped farther into the room, revealing none other than Princess Celestia. “Luna!” she snapped. “I thought better of you!”
Luna took a tentative step backward, trembling. “I’m sorry, sister. But this season is especially bad. I forgot how hard it was to-“
“I’m not talking about that,” Celestia scoffed.
Luna blinked in confusion. “You…are not?”
The Regent of the Sun cast a sidelong look at Macintosh, a sultry grin spreading across her face. “I’m talking about keeping this spectacular specimen to yourself.”
The stallion’s animal instincts returned in full force, practically salivating at several particularly visceral images of what could happen…right before he shouted them down. After the fun would come awkwardness, followed by mistaken feelings, followed by a massive, debilitating headache. He’d been through all that with Lyra during a slight overindulgence on hard cider, and look how that had turned out.
But a potential three way between a pair of immortal goddesses was just so tempting...
Luna glared at her sister. “That’s not fair! You always got everything first! I want this one for myself this time!”
“Sometimes we don’t always get what we want,” Celestia snarled, lowering into an attack position. “Sometimes we just have to compromise.”
“I’ve got your ‘compromise’ right here!” Luna yelled, hurling a spell at her sister that left a vibrant afterimage on Macintosh’s retinas. The stallion shrank against the wall, trying to present as small a target as possible. All right, then, he thought, feeling strangely lucid all of a sudden. Stress hormones tended to do that to him. That's why I shouldn't stay.
The solar princess deflected the spell into a nearby wall, shaking the stonework and obliterating a Ming dynasty case that was unlucky enough to be in the way, and replied with one of her own. Sparks of magic sizzled through the air as the two sisters dueled furiously, hurling spells of steadily increasing ferocity at each other.
Finally, Luna deflected her sister’s spell and stopped, panting. “What are we doing?” she gasped, aghast.
Celestia relaxed, letting the magic in her horn die down. “I…I don’t know. Our feelings got the best of us, I suppose.”
Luna glanced around, surveying the destroyed room. “I don’t even know what to say.”
She glanced back at her sister. “Let’s promise to never fight over stallions again.”
“Agreed,” Celestia said. “I’ll just leave you two to-“
The alicorn glanced around the room, eyebrows furrowing. “Wait. Where’d he go?”
Luna stared for a moment at the spot the stallion had previously occupied, jaw hanging open. “This is all your fault!” she finally sputtered. “If you hadn’t barged in, I…I…”
Macintosh squeezed through a window, panting, as the sounds of a magical duel once again resumed from inside the princess’ quarters. He pushed off from the wall and landed heavily on a slate rooftop below, cracking several of the tiles. Too bad, he thought. I’ve got a pair of lunatic princesses to evade.
He hopped from rooftop to rooftop, finally landing on the cobblestone streets. “Right,” he panted to himself. “Jus’ relax. Keep movin’, and find somewhere t’ hide until this all blows over.”
He kept telling himself that as he crept along the darkened city streets, furtively scanning the surrounding buildings and alleys for signs of any more randy mares.
“Find somewhere t’ hide,” he repeated, glancing into a window…
And directly into a pair of eyes.
“Aah!” he yelled, scrambling backwards, before realizing it was a stallion staring out the window at him.
Macintosh carefully got to his feet, as the stallion inside the building beckoned to him. “Come inside,” he hissed. “Quickly! There isn’t much time!”
The draught horse would have been an idiot to refuse. He quickly scrambled in through the door, which his rescuer slammed behind him with a flick of his horn. The mystery stallion then proceeded to telekinetically close nearly a dozen locks and latches, finishing with a sturdy oak bar across the whole thing.
“Now,” he said when he had finished. “Perhaps you could tell me what you are doing in a populated area.”
“Ah might ask th’ same of you,” Macintosh replied, glaring at the unicorn’s fine clothing. “Specially since you actually had some warnin’.”
“Warning?” the unicorn asked. “What do you mean?”
Macintosh waved a hoof. “Long story.”
“I have time,” the mystery stallion replied.
The red earth pony eyed his rescuer suspiciously. Rainbow Dash had taught him to be cautious. Finally, he let out a breath. “Don’t suppose it would do much harm,” he said. “It all started when mah sister Applejack sent me t’ Ponyville-“
“So that’s where I recognize you from!” the unicorn crowed. “I thought your mark was familiar. Tell me, do you know a pony named Rarity?”
Macintosh flinched at the mention of the name. Mine!
“Ah know her.”
“Excellent!” the unicorn said. “Perhaps I should introduce myself, then. I am Fancy Pants, the leading word in Canterlot trends. Or so my followers would say.”
The draught horse was unimpressed. “Macintosh Apple,” he said, extending a hoof.
“Jolly good to meet you,” Fancy Pants said, shaking Macintosh’s hoof in both of his. “Or maybe I’m just glad to see somepony I can talk to. It’s been horribly dreary, listening to my own voice all day.”
Macintosh managed a weak smile. “Well, Ah’d love t’ stay, but Ah need to get back to mah farm. Ruttin’ season or no, there’s apples that need bucking.”
The unicorn’s smile slipped slightly at the stallion’s rough language, but he replaced it in an instant. “A truly winning attitude,” he said. “Allow me to at least allow you a night’s rest. This building is quite impenetrable to mares, I assure you.”
“Don’t mind if Ah do,” Macintosh grunted, dragging a couple silk cushions off the nearest couch. A polite cough from Fancy Pants interrupted him.
“I have a perfectly serviceable guest room, you know.”
“Oh,” Macintosh said, glancing at the couch. On second thought, maybe it didn’t look that comfortable. “Lead th’ way.”
XXX
Macintosh awoke with the dawn, as usual. He yawned and rolled out of the elegant bed, ignoring how the springs creaked in protest. The stallion stretched as he planted his hooves on the floor, and ventured downstairs.
A moment later, he found himself in a large kitchen, bristling with more appliances than he could count. With a bit of effort, he located the kettle and set about boiling some water for a refreshing mug of mint tea.
A noise at the window suddenly attracted his attention. Macintosh frowned, and carefully set a mug back on the counter.
He crept toward the door, noting with some relief that the locks were still intact. A few more steps took him to the shaded window beside the door. He tentatively made a gap in the curtains and peeked through.
Right into the bloodshot eyes of no less than seven mares, all crowded around the window. For a moment, the two parties just stared at each other, too shocked to act. Then one hoof crashed through the delicate glass of the window, grabbing at Macintosh’s shoulder. Another followed, and another…
The red stallion shrank back, unable to even summon his voice. One mare managed to push her face through the window and smiled at him. “Hey there, handsome.”
Macintosh howled in terror and fled upstairs, nearly colliding with a bleary-eyed Fancy Pants, who was still wearing a pink terrycloth nightrobe. “What’s all the fuss?” the unicorn yawned, peeking downstairs.
The sleep immediately fled from his eyes when he saw the mares pushing in through the window. “Oh dear,” he whispered.
“Come,” he said to Macintosh. “I have a back entrance. We can lose them in the alleys.”
The draught horse was only too quick to obey. Fancy Pants quickly swung open a weathered oak door, which opened out into a rather gritty back alley. Compost and waste water were strewn along the path, making Big Macintosh wrinkle his nose in distaste.
“Not the most pleasant of getaways, I admit,” Fancy Pants said. “But I’m sure you’d rather go here than on the main streets.”
Macintosh silenced him with a sharp look. “Enough o’ that. Move!”
Fancy Pants quicky led him down a side alley as something slammed against the back door. Neither stallion looked back, even as they heard the door break off its hinges behind them.
After a few minutes, Macintosh stopped, listening intently. “Ah think they’re gone,” he breathed.
“Good,” Fancy Pants panted. “I…whoo! I’m not as spry as I used to be…”
“You’re probably gonna be through worse,” Macintosh said grimly. “D’you know anywhere we can hide? Out in th’ country a bit?”
Fancy Pants thought for a moment. “Well…one of my friends hosts fox hunts at his chateau not far from here. Ghastly activity, I must say. I never took him up on the offers. But I have a good idea where it’s located. Now that I think of it, I really should have gone there in the first place...”
“Good.” Macintosh said, cutting the unicorn off and picking an alley at random. “Now all we have t’ do is get-“
He stopped, suddenly realizing the alley he had chosen made an abrupt turn onto a main road. A main road that was literally packed with mares.
This time, Macintosh was the first to break the stunned silence. “Run!” he howled, galloping back the way he came. The mares surged after him, cheering in glee.
“This way!” Macintosh yelled, ducking down another alley.
“No, wait!” Fancy Pants called “That’s back the way we-“
A scream cut him off, nearly drowning out several feminine cries of joy. Macintosh raced past him, eyes wide with panic. A moment later, the mares from Fancy Pants’ house appeared at the mouth of the alley, practically salivating in anticipation.
The unicorn didn’t let himself linger. He immediately pushed his exhausted legs into a full, gallop, forcing himself to catch up the fleeing earth pony ahead.
“Left!” he called when they got to a fork in the alley. Macintosh turned, trying to ignore the thunder of female hooves behind him.
Fancy Pants forged on, trying to ignore the burning in his lungs, but a wry smile finally spread across his face. “Who am I kidding?” he said.
“Macintosh,” he called. “Listen. When you get out of the city, head west. My friend’s chateau is on a bluff overlooking the river. The key is under a loose cobblestone in front of the house.”
“Why’re you tellin’ me this?” Macintosh yelled back. Then his ears flattened against his skull as he realized what the older unicorn was getting at. “No! We can make it!”
The unicorn planted his hooves and skidded to a halt. “If you see Fleur de Lis,” he said softly, “Tell her…tell her I love her.”
The red stallion forced himself to continue, leaving his newfound friend to buy the time he needed.
Fancy Pants settled himself comfortably on his haunches, waiting for the mares to arrive. “Well, that sounded much better in my head,” he muttered. “Always wanted to use a line like that, though. Ah, well.”
The mares came, flooding into the narrow alley. “Have at you!” Fancy Pants exclaimed. “I’m not afraid! Eh…what are you doing with that? Oh my, I don’t believe that’s…Wait! That’s not supposed to go there!”
Macintosh galloped on, as Fancy Pants’ voice was lost in the lustful cries of the pursuing mares. Dammit, he thought. Why do other folk always have to be the heroes?
But he carried on, swearing that the unicorn’s sacrifice would not be in vain. He burst out of the alley onto a main street, the exit to the city in sight.
But then he skidded to a halt, horror written on his face. The gate to the city…was closed.
He was trapped.
Macintosh forced himself to turn, meeting the eyes of a dozen mares who had already made their way out of the alleys.
“Jus’…” he started, his voice breaking. “Jus’ be gentle.”
“They won’t get the chance,” a voice said from on top of the city wall. “Rainbow! Put ‘em up!”
“C’mon, girls!” a scratchy voice yelled from overhead. “Come and get me!”
Macintosh looked up in shock. What…
Rainbow Dash streaked overhead, immediately drawing the attention of the pursuing mares. A tin can had been painted a bright cyan and attached to her muzzle, giving her a surprisingly coltlike appearance. It would never stand up to close examination, but it seemed to fool the horde of mares, for they all set off in pursuit of this new target, forgetting Macintosh entirely.
Applejack leapt off the wall, landing lightly beside her brother. “C’mon, Big Mac! Let’s get outta here!”
Macintosh’s mouth could barely string words together. “What…how…”
His sister laughed. “I ain’t about t’ leave my brother hangin’! Now let’s move! Dash won’t be able to keep ‘em distracted fer long!”
She turned and bucked the wooden gate. “Hey! Open up!”
A bluish glow surrounded the gate, and it swung open, revealing a rather battered Fancy Pants. “Don’t worry,” he told Macintosh. “I was as surprised as you to find this pony here! Seems someone up there has a soft spot for you.”
Macintosh looked back to his sister. “How’d you find me?”
Applejack shrugged. “Didn’t take much. Only three ponies Ah know of strong enough t’ teleport you any distance. One was accounted for, an’ the other two are here. So Ah just hogtied Twilight, knocked her around a bit, an’ got her t’ teleport me an’ Rainbow here. Findin’ Fancy Pants was a stroke o’ luck, Ah guess.”
The red stallion frowned. One thing didn’t add up. “But why’s Dash helpin’ me? She’s the one responsible fer gettin’ me sent here!”
Applejack shrugged. “Ah don’t know anything ‘bout that. You know Dash. She might mess with you a bit, but she’s the loyalest pony Ah know.”
Macintosh didn’t wait another moment. He galloped out of the city, feeling his stress finally fall from his shoulders as Fancy Pants closed the gat ebehind him, sealing the city off. “Wish Ah could see those ponies’ reactions when they find out Dash’s a mare,” he commented.
Applejack grinned wryly. “Somethin’ tells me a good portion wouldn’t object.”
Fancy Pants cleared his throat. “Well, it has been most enjoyable adventuring with you, but I must take my leave. And, uh…”
He lowered his voice. “You can…well, forget what I said about Fleur. Heat of the moment, you know?”
Macintosh nodded. “Will do. Good luck.”
“I wish the same to you,” Fancy Pants said, trotting away.
The red stallion turned back to his sister. “By the way, you knew what was goin’ on with the mares, didn’t you?”
Applejack kicked a stone, trying to look innocent. “Ah knew. It jus’ happened to coincide with applebuck season, so Ah had t’ keep myself under control.”
Macintosh glared at her. “So why’d you send me into town?”
His sister grinned widely. “Well, Ah had to teach you a lesson for kickin’ down that tree, didn’t Ah?”
The draught horse’s jaw dropped. “Why, you…you…”
He couldn’t even say it.
END (I mean, really the end this time. It took me long enough to even come up with an idea to continue this. I am not writing another chapter, no matter how much you beg. End. Finis. Al fine.)