- Member Since 19th Feb, 2017
- offline last seen Yesterday
ChaosKing23
Have a lot of ideas. Just don't know how I should end them
ChaosKing23
Joined 19th Feb, 2017 ·
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This sounds like a Jason story am I right?
No
Oh shiiiiit
I like it :3
Interesting start. I am curious to know what or who this voice is and why it's trying to plague Spike's mind with hate and vengeance. I know this is your first story and to be fair it does show a promising start. Just remember that when you write the initials of a character, make sure you begin the letters with a capital. For example, Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Discord. Same goes for the names of places like Canterlot and Ponyville. You have developed an intriguing start with this story and I look forward to how it will continue.
Thank you for the help and support in the comments I really appreciate it and hope you enjoy the story
Will we get to see spike telling twilight and the others off for treating him poorly?
This one seemed a little rushed but I enjoyed it overall I can't wait to read more :3
I agree with Deadman, it's a bit rushed, and I'm curious about what's going to happen, as well as two things: 1. why didn't Celestia notice or say anything about Spike being the servant, waiter, chef, and all that? Surely she would thank her own son for his diligence, rather than just saying it to Twilight, as if she had ANYTHING to do with it. And 2. It's a question that comes up in most of the "abused Spike" stories, but why doesn't he write to Celestia, explaining the situation? But then again, most stories, like yours, I imagine, won't contact her because the plot won't have much to do with her, so contacting her and all that won't work, but to the reader, that's an open question that never gets answered.
I'm interested in the story
Amazing.
Are you talking about Spike or Discord? I haven't read the story yet, so I just want to make sure...
7965618 Who is Jason? Do you mean Jason Voorhees?
please continue
Watch it end up being a stalker
I hope Misty is not a typical villain. This a good chapter.
Even though there are plenty of annoying... typos? Spelling errors? Grammar errors? For example: "...but a Seth thing will be answered in due time but form one how about...", which I guess should have been "...but everything will be answered in due time. For now, how about..." , it was another good chapter, and makes me wait eagerly as to figuring out whether this is truly a friend or a foe, since it's quite possible for Celestia to have banished the whole practice of her magic simply because it's dangerous, or that she had bad experiences of it, or even because she ONLY saw the worst side of it, while also leaving the potential for her to simply be manipulating Spike for her own personal gains...
either way, I can't wait to see where this goes
I apologize for the errors I will try and make my chapter a little more correct next time but thank you anyway.
Good chapter! Just make sure you improve on your spelling and grammar, it will make the story a lot better and easier to read.
7993190 I agree. I'm hoping there is more to this to this "Misty" character. Perhaps she will be the cause of Spike's thoughts being plagued with hate.
Okay, you are improving on your punctuation, good job! And I totally agree that Misty being an OC will probably add in more character depth towards the story. Again, there are a few errors here and there, but to me it isn't that much of a bother, I still enjoyed this chapter. I'm looking forward to the next.
Good chapter I'm enjoying the story. Can't wait to read more.
just out of curiosity if Misty was originally gonna be a cannon character who was she gonna be?
I was gonna make Misty the embodiment of the Tantabus but decided to change it for character development.
Yay :3
Yeah greater back story on Misty. I'm enjoy the story.
Hoping for Misty to stay legit and not use Spike like many villains on these kinds of fics do, really want to see a Dark is not Evil thing going on.
Damn
Thanks for all the support I'm glad your enjoying the story. :)
8057786 U and me both.
You took an interesting character and made her a Mary Sue.
If that was the intention, then bravo and I'm curious how you intend to incorporate such a blatantly op character. Im really excited. I can't tell you how much the show constantly let's me down with its misuse of badass characters. Sombra, Tirek, Chrysalis. All beaten by deus ex machina. No plan or strategy just surprise super power saves the day.
So I really want to see how you use a powerful character.
If you did not intend to make her a Mary Sue... Well I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. Maybe you should have thought of that before you had her over power Celestia. Also an immortality spell with no negative side effects?
holy fuck. very good opener! its hard to find a good spike story, but i think i just found one!
One doesn't find a lot of good Spike-centic stories, good job!
>>Vigriff
Thank you
Great chapter
>>GrimmWolfDragon
Thanks I appreciate your support :)
Im curious as to where this is going. It sounds as if it would make a good redemption story for Misty. I could also see it as Misty training Spike in dark magic and Spike giving her cooking lessons and such so they bond. Or Misty is manipulating Spike. That would also make sense. Still though. Interesting. Good work my friend!
Ah, finally... A connection between these two characters, but where will this lead to I wonder?
8118819
Why would Misty need redemption? She hasn't done anything. She's been studying magic to help other ponies. She's not mean, she's not hurt anyone, and even after being betrayed, her "revenge" is to succeed at helping ponies.
Where does redemption come into this?
8159753 I didnt word it correctly. Sorry. As for redemption i think i was thinking that she was trying to redeem herself to Celestia. My apologies for not wording it correctly. Its nice to have conformation that Misty isnt a bad pony though. Thanks. :3
8160669
Ah no prob!
Good story
Really good
But I'm honestly really conflicted right now sense I know if he agrees it could turn out really bad ,but I also really want to see a bad ass Spike with dark powers
So far every mare in this story besides the dream mare have been nothing more then abunch of bitches
But I also notice Luna seems to no something is going on with the young dragon. Most likely due to her seeing his dream
Keeps getting All the more interesting and I really like this Misty character
CELESTIA YOU BITCH
and I find it funny how Celestia and Misty were studying defensive spells ,but Celestia never thinks to put up a shield in any magic battles like when she fought Nightmare Moon ,Chrysalis or just then against Misty when she got her Sun tatued ass knocked the fuck out!
I'm glad you got beat
ps: I'm really hoping Spike gets some dark magic
I shall forever think of Spike-X-Misty now.
Good chapter
The plot thickens.
Oh shit, it is getting intense up in here.
Awesome work! Interesting chapter.
8166805 Celestia was never the brightest bulb on the tree.
Actually, if I recall, Spike was at the Equestrian Games. You know, where he was given the honor of lighting the torch, saved some ponies from being squished by a giant ice cloud, and was allowed to light some fireworks.